![]() Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter, and Charles Dickens. Peaches: So, Georgina and I have finally gotten around to writing our profile...thingy...majigger... Georgina: AND IT SHALL AWESOME!! Peaches: So, basically, I'm Peaches, and she's Georgina. Those aren't our real names, but that's okay. Georgina: Together, our magical powers combine to form Pancakes... with a question mark... (so, really Pancakes?) Peaches: I am the hottest person in the world...ever. Georgina: You wish. Peaches: Georgina is the most annoying person in the world, for reasons that shall not be mentioned here. Georgina: Damn straight. But that's why you love me. Peaches: So, we have decided that we shall write a happy little collaboration thingy up here, and then write seperate bits about ourselves. Georgina: This is quite true. Watch out for Peaches's; she's a tad sketchy. Peaches: If we're going to discuss what we'll be writing, I should forewarn you that Georgina loves to rant about things she dislikes. Like bad grammar, and male pregnancies, and exclamation points, and dog lovers... Georgina: Actually, I quite like dogs. But, the rest of those are true. Peaches: Fine! But most of what Georgina writes about me is untrue. I'm not that strange or whorish...most of the time. And anything she says about trading my body for sparkles is untrue! Dammit! Georgina: Ummm, I never said any of that stuff. However, now that you mention it, there was that one time in my basement... Peaches: Okay, we're writing our own profiles now! PEACHES So, basically in our duo of awesomeness, I am the hot one. I’m not actually an author, that is Georgina’s chosen calling. So, basically she comes up with the ideas, and I help make them into sentences. I also come up with a lot of the random sketchy crap that isn’t really relevant to the plot. I am a 19,683-year-old vampire in disguise as a high school student. I have to be in disguise to break apart a secret ring of rebellious werewolves that have been destroying the town and generally causing trouble. If I weren’t undercover, I’d be in my vampire court in Paris, having lots of parties (and kinky sex). But since I am, alas, in high school, I am taking French. Georgina (who is not an awesome vampire, she’s just a human) is taking Spanish. As a result, we have long arguments over what is more awesome, Spanish or French. She therefore has a tendency to write obscure and morbidly unhumorous Spanish jokes that no one gets. For this, you may throw rotten tomatoes at her. And discuss worms. She hates worms. But, about me…because I’m the awesomest. Gender: Female (duh?) Music: Is probably my favorite thing in the world. Classic rock! It's classic and it rocks for a reason. (The implied reason being that it is awesome.) Kinky Sex?: God, yes!! Handcuffs are awesome. I think whips are pretty cool too, but I have the feeling that if I tried to use one, I’d end up getting tangled up. Oh, and this doesn’t really go in the category of kinky sex, but leather pants are amazing!! Especially on Draco or Harry. Draco or Harry?: Depends on Draco’s eye color. If it’s blue, Draco, if it’s grey, Harry. And not Draco like in the books, where he’s all whiny and sniveling. Draco like we all know he’s meant to be. Pairings: Draco/Harry!! The more I read these, the more I believe they are meant to be. I am a firm believer of Ron/Hermione, but I find the Ron/Luna absolutely hilarious. I don’t like femmeslash, at all. Pas du tout. C’est horrible. Coke or Pepsi?: COKE!! Most Hated Harry Potter Character: Hmm...this is a tough one. To be unorignal, I dislike Ginny (you will understand why this is unoriginal when you read Georgina's profile). However, she is not my most hated. Moaning Myrtle doesn't appeal to me much either. Another annoying minor character would have to be Percy. Please don't hate me for this next comment, but I don't like Draco, or, at least, book Draco. I adore most fan-fiction Draco. Book Draco is such an unnapealing, indesicive character. I mean, you're a SLYTHERIN. Grow a spine already. Okay, that’s enough for now. Maybe I’ll add more later…if I feel like it. If you want to learn more about me, email me! Just write, like, “To Peaches” in the subject, because Georgina and I share an e-mail for this account. That’s not to say she won’t read the e-mail just because it’s addressed to me. You have been warned. But email me! I love random emails. Also, if you feel like putting THIS OR THAT in your reviews (like coke or pepsi, or Harry or Draco), Georgina and I will answer them in our AN. I love this or that. All right. Ta ta, toodles, pip pip, cheerio, au revoir. GEORGINA So, everything Peaches said about me was a lie! My Spanish jokes are amazingly hilarious! They are! Pero, ella no entiende el humor. Y ella es tanto sin remedio. Y un chico. So, there! Ha! Plus, my unbridled skills in the area of grammer veritably trounce Peaches's. "Unhumorous?" Please! "Awesomest?!" I feel as if someone has gouged out my eyes with a used plastic knife from Taco Bell. Also, her distinct lack of semicolon use is...perturbing, to say the least. Hmm...I should talk about myself. I am in high school. That's pretty cool. I am human. Peaches is not a vampire, by the way; that's just her (bad!) excuse for being extremely pale. You may all laugh at her now. I myself am laughing uproariously. Anyways, I like to act and sing. I'm a soprano, and that's awesome! I love Josh Groban! He's the most amazing singer ever! I come up with a lot of sketchy crap on my own, thank you very much. Peaches just likes to take credit for what she does not deserve. I also want to be an author. Authors are amazing. When I am not working on my acutal book, I write fanfiction. It's a pretty good arrangement. I think that I should answer some of those things like Peaches did. Wow, that was the vaguest sentence ever! Onward! Gender: Female. By the way, Peaches is gender neutral. That's even worse than being a boy. I pity her, actually. Kinky Sex: Hell, yes. I don't actually know if we are supposed to mention this in our profile, but that's okay. By the bye, the leather pants fetish was all my idea. Draco or Harry: DRACO! 'Cause he's obviously the hot one. But not in the books, as previously mentioned by Peaches, because, while he does have the best comebacks (Yay for wit!), he is still annoying and sniveling. That is most unbecoming. He's in Slytherin, which everyone knows is the coolest house. And, I love Machiavelli. Machiavelli is the awesome. My implication is that Draco is Machiavellian, in case you missed it. Pairings: Draco/Harry! Most definitely. It doesn't make sense until you read it; then you can't imagine anything else. I also like Ron/Hermione. They're just meant to be together. Anything involving an extremely gay Seamus is fun! I like Sirius/Remus and Remus/Severus if they are done well. Harry/Ginny? No, just no. Ron/Draco? Certainly not. Hermione/Severus? Harry/Severus? How about not. Anything involving a student and Dumbledore? Pedophiles aren't really my cup of tea. Especially old ones. Harry/Voldemort? God, no! Save me! Lucius/Dobby? Why, God, why?! Mrs.Norris/anyone? What are these authors on?! McGonagall/Mrs. Norris is not femmeslash, even though they are both (at sometimes) cats! Speaking of annoying pairings, things I hate in fanfics: Ginny. I despise Ginny so much. She is the most poorly developed character that J.K. Rowling has ever written. She's like, "Oh! I'm little and eleven! Save me from the basilisk, twelve-year-old and generally incompetent Harry!" Then, "I'm a new sort of support character that does nothing but blush and comfort Ron in your presence." Finally!: "I've become the hottest girl in Hogwarts overnight! Love me and my slutty goodness!" Now, I ask you: does that make any sense at all? I answer with a resounding 'no'. Second annoying thing: Male pregnancy! Why, oh why, would you ever think this made sense? A couple of things are a tad off about it. Firstly, how would the man get pregnant in the first place? Well, some of you have chosen to answer with "a potion". I guess I can deal with that. But, there is one far more important thing that has yet to be addressed. Where does the baby gestate? A man does not have a uterus. Uteruses are not a part of the male reproduction system. My suspension of disbelief does not extend that far. Unless you can come up with a logical evidence for a man having a uterus, I will continue to rant about mpreg, ('cause ranting is just fun!). Third annyoying thing: Bad grammar. Don't even get me started. Well, I will on one thing. Dark!Harry. See anything wrong with this? I do! Why not "Harry: dark" or "Harry is dark." Or maybe just, "dark Harry." Why does this call for an exclamation point? How about "This fanfic will feature a particularly dark Harry, unlike that to which you have become previously accustomed." I quite like that one. Other things? Tazers: Heck, yes. They seem really fun. Borgia references: Pcha! They enable me to be awesome! On a similar train of thought: philosophe, philosopher, or just historical references in general: YEAH! Favorite word: Impugn. That'll do it for me. If you got this far: "YOU LIE, BILLY MORRIS!" Review us and give us this or that questions. I enjoy those. So long, fare thee well, pip, pip, cheerio, we'll be back soon! |
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