inuyashak1
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Joined 06-29-10, id: 2424667, Profile Updated: 01-23-11

Jello's im Kelsey!!!! i's lov anime/manga like... Higurashi no naku koro ni, inuyasha, naruto, bleach, invader zim, and a lot of other animes/manga!!!

sadly i don't write fanfic's i read them and review them which is really fun!!! :D my fav. characters r inuyasha, grr, itachi, kenpachi, L, light, and a lot others!!

my fav. parings r:

inuyasha/kagome (b/c kikyhoe is a slut and doesn't deserve inuyasha!!)

koga/ayame

sango/miroku

might guy/rock lee (b/c everybody like's yoai!! ;D)

narusaku (of course)

uasgi-san/misaki (and yes yes it is yoai)

sooo here's some funny stuff!!! :D

One day a teacher is talking to her 2nd grade class about how Jonah couldn’t possibly have survived inside a fish.

A little girl raises her hand, “Teacher, don’t worry. When I get to heaven I’ll ask him if he was in a fish for you”

The teacher looks stunned.

“And how do you know that he’ll be in heaven,” Asked the teacher, “What if he’s in hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you can ask him.”

so there`s a these blondes and theres these brunettes and they where doing a contest to see who could do the best thing so the brunettes said to the blondes we r gonna fly 2 the moon and the blondes said to the brunettes we r gonna fly2 the sun and then the brunettes said thats not possible u would burn up and the blondes said we already thought about that we are gonna fly at night!

one night there was this little thrusty boy and his father
when the little boy went to bet he requested his father that he wanted a drink
boy:dad!im thirsty i want a drink!
dad:NO!you better sleep!
then later after 10 minutes they boy wanted a drink
boy:dad!!i need a drink please!
dad:NO!you better sleep now or im telling your mom!
then later after another 10 mintues the boy wanted a drink
boy:dad!i need a drink!
the father got pissed off and said
dad:dont ask me anything again or im coming up there and im gonna spank you!
boy:OK DAD!!WHEN YOU COME UP HERE DONT FORGET TO BRING ME A GLASS OF WATER!

How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky". "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Sport."

Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

"Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.

Insist that your e-mail address be: zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him or her if they want fries with that.

Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."

Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth.

Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall # 3."

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors'.

Dont use any punctuation

Use, too...much; punctuation!

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.

Sing along at the opera.

Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies. (warning: you can get arrested for this, but that can be instructive too)

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."

Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like that.

Annoying Things to Do in an Elevator

Walk on with a cooler that is labeled "HUMAN HEAD" on the side.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase of purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

Meow occasionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Annouce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Say "Ding" at each floor.

Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Shave.

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now... motion sickness!"

Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Leave a box between the doors.

Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.

Start a sing-along.

One word: Flatulence!

Do Tai Chi exercises

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

Bring a chair along.

Lean against the button panel.

While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

Things To Do At Wal-Mart While You Wait For Your Family To ShopGet boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. Put some M&M's on lay away. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone." Look right into ! the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.' While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!" When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" Go to the fitting room and yell real loud..."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!" Office DaresONE-POINT DARESRun one lap around the office at top speed.Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."Walk sideways to the photocopier.While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.THREE-POINT DARESSay to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).Shout random numbers while someone is counting.FIVE POINT DARESAt the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself, 10 if you sing it through to the end).Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out, but don't remove it.Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completly has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.

PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE- if you have ever listened to music in another language, and sung along having no IDEA what they are SAYING and PROUD OF IT

If Fanfiction(or goodreads) to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're one of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever forgotten your own name while introducing yourself copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

92 of teens would be dead if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and Pase this into your profile if you would be part of the 8 laughing

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this in your profile

If you're friends are always trying to tell you to shutup and you won't, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return ManLife Sucks, Avatarwolf lilly1542, Itachifanchick, Silver-Arrow-Kitsune-Girl, Dark Wolf on a full Blood, Xx-Erin-xX-AthrunxCagallifan, Birdkid2015, inuyashak1

If you are the clumsiest person in your gym then copy and paste this to your profile!

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

95 of teens would have an emotional breakdown if Miley Cyrus stood on top of a building. Copy and past this to your profile if you are one of the 5 screaming jump.

If you hate those preppy people who think they're better than you just because they have a boyfriend copy and paste this into your profile.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Procrastinate NOW!

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Don't take life too seriously; no on gets out alive.

Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon

Don't look at me with that tone of voice!

You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there

You know you live in 2000+ when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn’t even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK.But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Paste this on your profile if you also dislike racism

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

THINGS YOU DON"T WANT TO HEAR DURING SUGURY
1.OOPS!
2.Has anybody survived 500ml of this stuff before?
3.if this is his spleen, then what's that?
4.come back here with that, bad dog!
5.DAMN! page 47 of the manual is missing!
6.wait a minute, my manual doesn't say that.
7.What edition is your manual?
8.Steril, schmerial.
9.the floors clean,right?
10.nurse, could you stop that thing from beating? it's throwing my concentraion off.
11.let's hurry this up, i don't want to miss Baywatch.
12.FIRE FIRE! EVERYBODY GET OUT!

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

If you've ever attempted alchemy by clapping your hands or drawing an array, copy and paste this into your profile.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

If you get inspired to write at random moments through the day put this on your profile.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

Don’t knock on death’s door…ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

I'm the kind of girl who looks at Twilight and laughs at the cheesiness.

I'm the kind of girl who has a picture of Joe Jonas pasted to my dart board. DIE YOU STUPID JONAS BROTHER!

I'm the kind of girl who walks into the Mental Hospital and greets the receptionist bye name.

I'm the kind of girl who is willing to drop-kick Twilight books out of my apartment window.

I'm the kind of girl who can hold a conversation with you for fifteen minutes and then ask, "What was your name again?"

I'm the kind of girl who reads rather than watching television.

I'm the kind of girl who is considered weird.

I'm the kind of girl who would've let Stupid Edward commit suicide.

I'm the kind of girl who thinks that Stephenie Meyer and all of her little vampires should be charged with first degree murder for the death of good literature.

I'm the kind of girl who doesn't care what you think.

I'm the kind of girl who doesn't care if you care what I think because I don't care what you think, so you needn't care what I think and I don't care.

I'm the kind of girl who plots against fictional characters.

I'm the kind of girl who thinks that as you read this, you will laugh and nod and repost.

I'm the kind of girl who wishes there was a law against stupidity.

I'm the kind of girl who finds what's lost where I already looked.

I do not suffer from insanity! I enjoy every minute of it!

-I haven't lost my mind! I sold it on eBay.

-I have plenty of common sense! I just chose to ignore it.

-Yeah, I'm a freak. BUT I'M THE COOLEST FREAK YOU'LL EVER MEET!!

-if olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

-Love your enemies. And that's only one way to annoy them!

-tell the truth and RUN FOR IT

-If everything is going well in my mind then you have overlooked something

-The one who smiles when all goes wrong has thought of someone to blame

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

-Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

-One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk. They spend the second part telling us to sit down and shut-up

-Flying is simple! Just throw your self towards the earth, then miss the ground.

-Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

--If you can't BEAT them, JOIN them

If you can't JOIN them, BRIBE them

If you can't BRIBE them, BLACKMAIL them

If you can't BLACKMAIL them, KILL them

If you can't KILL them, your SCREWED

--I had a friend once. Then his rope broke and he ran for it

-I took the less traveled road... NOW WHERE THE HECK AM I?

-DO NOT HIT KIDS!! No, seriously. They have guns now.

-before embarking on revenge, dig 2 graves. That way if someone gets in the way, you can dispose of each body quickly

Things that changes color:

Leaves

Chameleons

Fruit

Animal coats

Flowers

Michael Jackson

IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish

I'm a good actor/actress, so I MUST be a liar

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life(I want 2 be)

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up

I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch

I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean

I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I WEAR GLASSES and RETAINERS, so I MUST be a nerd

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm HALF ASIAN HALF BRITISH, so I MUST be short

I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I HAVE a BIG FAMILY siblings, so WE MUST be financially challenged

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too

I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist

I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans

I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature

I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet

I don't have a SOCIAL LABEL, so I must just be Emo.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be Emo.

Don't Just assume - listen...

if you think that people are judged by what they like or where their roots are from copy and paste this into your profile!

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (I don't even want to know how many I have done)
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS THAT SCARE ME:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

If you are one of the few people who actually like Inuyasha over Seshomeru copy and paste this to your account!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto by DevilKeys Writing reviews
A storm is brewing. Casting a black shadow over the world, threatening to incinerate it and scatter its ashes to the winds. Humanity's only hope lies with a young boy. A boy sacrificed for their protection, yet condemned to a life of hatred and abuse. Will the pariah become the savior? Or will mankind be cast into oblivion by a monster of their own creation?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 54 - Words: 869,651 - Reviews: 4617 - Favs: 7,287 - Follows: 6,064 - Updated: 8/10 - Published: 7/18/2007 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Dancing in the Dark by MoonlightatDusk reviews
Misaki is sold to Akihiko, the owner of a huge slave ring, who's using violence to close his own wound. What happens when he meets his newest toy? How will Akihiko heal from his dark past with Misaki's help? Will his other slaves make it? All couples! *May no longer be an mpreg...* (sorry for the change of plans)
Junjō Romantica - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 135,851 - Reviews: 884 - Favs: 387 - Follows: 456 - Updated: 7/22 - Published: 8/2/2011 - A. Usami, Misaki T., Hiroki K., Nowaki K.
Under the Moon Lit Night by Blitz Girl reviews
Sesshomaru leaves Rin in the care of the humans for the fear of her safty. One thing that Sesshomaru never expected was Rin did not stay with the humans and took care of herself all that time. How will he react to the new Rin that isn't helpless anymore?
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 28,946 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 1/7/2015 - Published: 9/12/2010 - Sesshōmaru, Rin
La danse avec le diable by Kai Cross reviews
Ciel manages to escape from the occult but after being found on the streets of London, badly injured and traumatized, he's forcibly taken to the Asylum. He is subjected to many cruel Victorian treatments and abuse, aiming to cure his confusion but only working to shatter his mind even more. It seems that his only hope is to wait for salvation from Heaven... Or Hell? Ciel/Sebastian
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 85,480 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 8/19/2013 - Published: 7/1/2012 - Ciel P., Sebastian M. - Complete
Death Angels by Daichilover reviews
Created to not feel, Kagome and two others were made into assassins. But when their lives are threatened they run to enemy lines, where Kagome meets Inuyasha. Can Inuyasha help her feel again? And can they overthrow Naraku's disastrous plans? IK SM KA
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 25 - Words: 91,307 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 1/5/2013 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Inuyasha, Kagome H. - Complete
His Butler, Forever by Dawn Kelyee reviews
Ciel has been alive for nearly 100 hundred years now as a demon. He goes to the United States to find a suitable place to live and his path crosses with the infamous Artemis Fowl, and now he is the only one who can stop a full out war that will reveal LEP
Crossover - Artemis Fowl & Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,840 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 3/16/2012 - Published: 3/14/2012 - Artemis F., Ciel P.
Sango Taijiya: Soul Reaper by TheLadyReaper reviews
What happens when you die? Sango soon finds more than she expected from the afterlife. Hatred, betrayal, and sorrow burrow their way into her heart, and she questions the morals and values in her 'life'. Rated T just in case.
Crossover - Inuyasha & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,705 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/2/2012 - Published: 1/21/2011 - Sango
learning to live again by zombie4play reviews
Ellis has to learn to live without Nick after a tragic accident leaves him without the lovable Conman. But in the three years of learning is Ellis finally losing it? And if so, can anyone save his sanity? Rochelle? Coach? A stranger in a bar...?Maybe...
Left 4 Dead - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,662 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/16/2011 - Published: 5/10/2011 - Ellis, Francis
Shikon High school by inuloveskagforever reviews
Hay pplz its Me! I had to erase the other shikon high so heres the same one just defrent ok? OK! SO Kags and her friends are tomb boys and Inus friends are truble makers what hapens whaen thay meet?
Inuyasha - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,033 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/4/2011 - Published: 1/11/2011 - Inuyasha, Kagome H.
Winter Heat by HiDiNgFrOmYoU reviews
Written for KAYBOP1's 6th challenge. Kouga/Miroku mating season fic. Miroku is walking through a clearing when he is happened upon by a lust-filled ookami. What'll happen! Well...something with sex in it! R&R please. Will be maybe 2 or 3 chaps
Inuyasha - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,064 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 2/6/2011 - Published: 5/31/2010 - Kōga, Miroku
The 12 days of Christmas Game by Smoldering Thoughts reviews
Kagome and her family have a holiday tradition, a little game of sorts. But when she brings it to her other friends from 500 years ago, what will befall?
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 10,774 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 12/14/2010 - Kagome H., Inuyasha - Complete
Love Between A Doc and A CEO by Sushiwriter09 reviews
Kagome is a pediatrician who just broke up her boyfriend Hojo . Now she lives with her 3kids. Sesshomaru is the top dog of all business in japan.What happens when a his little girl appears on Kagome's doorstep and is dirty and all scratched up? Sess/Kag
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,962 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Sesshōmaru, Kagome H. - Complete
Tragic Love by GayLoveIsAmazing
An ordinary boy named Billy falls into a well and his whole life changes. GAY ROMANCE DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE! LEMONS!
Crossover - Inuyasha & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,647 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 11/28/2010 - Published: 11/27/2010 - Kōga, Itachi U.
Killing time at Wall Mart by TheLadyReaper reviews
14 ways to kill time at Wall Mart. Boredom strikes again!
Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 284 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/20/2010 - Complete
Delicate Temperments by Taito-Yamachi-lvr reviews
Nick from L4D2 and Phil from The Hangover always reminded me of each other. I wondered what would happen if they met; would they be BFFs? Would they hate each other? Here's this, which might be continued...much, much later. Also much profanity.
Crossover - Left 4 Dead & Hangover - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,746 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/23/2010 - Published: 5/3/2010 - Nick
Balls Awesome! by WanderingHobbit reviews
A bored Sango and Kagome come up with ways to annoy everyone they know. Better than the summary!
Inuyasha - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,383 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 6/30/2010 - Kagome H., Sango
Beloved Hime Chronicles by Kana Tasuki reviews
This is a series of InuYasha Yuri Lemon stories. The pairings are at Random, though most are Kagome x Kikyou. Read & Review, Thank you!
Inuyasha - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,241 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 22 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Kikyō, Kagome H.
Twister and Spin the Bottle and Strip Poker, Oh My by Neoshipper reviews
UPDATED 619 A series of short Sango x Miroku stories. Kagome brings some games from her world to share with the group. Particularly Sango and Miroku...
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,603 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/19/2004 - Published: 5/26/2003