PirateRockstarColumbia
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Joined 05-29-07, id: 1288840, Profile Updated: 12-19-07
Author has written 2 stories for RENT.

Okay, I suck at profiles for myself. Well, here goes nothing!

Name: PirateRockstarColumbia (I don't believe in giving my real name out online--and I bet you all thought I was going to!)

Age: Nonyadamnbuisness!

Location: Physically, I won't tell you. Mentally, I'm on Transsexual, Transylvania!

Interests: Generally reading, writing, Quizilla, and RHPS!

Relationships I like: generally, I'm not picky. However...

Relationships I don't like:

Harry/Draco (EW!!)

Snape/students (depends, actually, on the student)

Lucius/ANYONE

Draco/Hermione (I refuse to read Dramione. WAY too out of canon for my tastes)

Roger/Mark (Dude, I'm not against slash. But seriously, these two as a couple? NO WAY!)

Riff/Magenta (People, they are SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!!! It is seriously disgusting to even THINK that they are together! Come on!)

That's about it for me. Check out my stories!

If YOUR body provides a comfortable home for the Aquired Immune RENThead Syndrome, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fantasized about being pulled up onto the stage during La Vie Boheme by Mark, copy this into your profile.

If you live for that one moment when Angel sings, "Kiss me, it's beginning to snow..." because it is just too ridiculously adorable, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered where Maureen got a cell phone in "Happy New Year", copy this into your profile.

If you'd give anything for Collins to be your best friend and for Roger to be your teddy bear, copy this into your profile

If you have ever felt guilty about not crying at Angel's funeral one out of the thousand times you've watched it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever supressed the urge to shout, "Anarchy! Revolution, justice screaming for solution..." at political debates, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever thought that it would be cool to get AIDS, slap yourself and then copy this into your profile.

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list, Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, The Astrology Nerd, That Bloody Demon, hadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, armageddon-incarnate, PirateRockstarColumbia

~If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If it pisses you off when people write about Collins moving on when Angel dies because as far as your concerned she never died so technically you think he's cheating on her, copy this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Musical Theatre that you randomly start quoting it, copy this into your profile

(\ _ /)
(O.o ) This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.

I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress

I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass

I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual

I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic

I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd

I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.

~STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD ANY MORE STEREOTYPES YOU'VE HEARD.(Bold ones are me...)

Stories in progress:

Did I Take a Step Too Far?: RENT/RHPS. Post RENT. After Angel's death, Roger took off. When he came back, he found Mimi missing. After Mimi was found, she died in Roger's arms. Roger couldn't handle the pressure, so he took off again, and this time, he followed the same infamous path as Brad Majors and Janet Weiss. He returned to New York without a second thought to what happened in Frank's castle. However, when Columbia shows up in his loft with a shocking annoucement, can Roger own up to his problems, or will he burn out like April did? (hiatus. sorry)

Ask a Bohemian: Based on Ask a Pirate and Ask a Sanjayin! If you've always wanted ask your favorite boheminas questions, here's your chance. (RENT) (Unfortunately, it is on hiatus due to my loser cousin AlyssaLLBlack13 losing the memory stick)

Stories in planning:

Man of a Thousand Faces: The sequel to DITASTF. Ten years after Columbia gives birth to Roger's child, Frank finally discovers where she is. He comes after her. Columbia wants nothing more than to protect her daughter and Roger's unborn son, so Roger takes matters into his own hands. Chaos ensues. Who will win and who will lose...and what will be the price paid? (I want to work on, but am trying to finish DITASTF)

Why Can't I Remember You?: Post RHPS. Magenta and Riff move the castle to another location to remove Frank's body. But when they head back to the theater room, they find Frank gone, Rocky lying unconcious against a wall, and a dazed, bloody but very much alive Columbia. Rocky can't tell them what happened. And Columbia has no memory of Frank or the castle whatsoever. While Riff searches for Frank, it's up to Magenta to find a way to restore Columbia's memory. (not happening right now. Sorry)

A Woman's Work (A Mother's Love): Fifteen years ago, Magenta ran away from the torture of Frank's castle. She wound up drunk, in a bar, and having a one-night stand. She returned to Frank's castle a few days later, after Riff-Raff went looking for her. Life returned to normal...until Magenta found out she was prgenant. Fifteen years later, Frank has no idea that Alyssa is Magenta's child. But when Frank begins to make advances on her--when she clearly doesn't know how to handle him--Magenta's rage threatens to reveal a secret that her very child's life could depend on.(maybe...no plot bunnies right now)

"That's why I call myself a witch now--The Wicked Witch of the West, if you want the full glory of it. As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention." -Elphaba Thropp

Forget the cookies. Come to the Dark Side. We have SLASH!!!

If YOUR body provides a comfortable home for the Acquired Immune RENThead syndrome, copy this into your profile

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." -Edgar Allen Poe

"I'm telling you, man. Every third blink is slower..." -Fillmore, the CARS hippie van

If you think that green skin is awesome, copy this into your profile.

If you're Defying Gravity, and no one can pull you down, copy this into your profile.

If you think that poor Mark should have found someone by the end of RENT, copy and paste this into your profile.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return." -Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge

If you think that Maureen is the hottest effing woman in the world, and Joanne is effing lucky to have her, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

OZheads are just trying to make they're way in a green world. If you are an OZhead then copy&paste this to your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy & paste this into your profile

My Friend was a US Marine, he drove a big 7 ton truck,
when he'd go to work each night, he'd say, "sweetie wish me luck".

Then he would not come home again, 'til sometime the next day,
But the thing that bothered me most, was the things some folks would say.
A Marine's life is easy, he eats and sleeps and plays,
And sometimes he won't fight a war for days and days and days.
When I first heard these comments, I was too dumb to understand
Cause I knew, when people had trouble he was there to lend a hand.
Then my Marine went to work one day and kissed me good-bye,
But little did I realize, that night, I would cry.
My Marine gave his life that night, when the bomb hit from below,
And I wondered why he'd risk his life, for someone he didn't know.
But now I realize, the greatest gift a man could give,
Is to lay his life upon the line, so that someone else may live.
So as we go from day to day, and we pray to God above,
Say a prayer for your local Marine, he may save the one you love.

If u know a Marine, or are a Marine yourself, repost this

Dedicated to all the Marines that gave thier life and might be doing it now. you may be gone, but your never forgotten

"Dance as if no one were watching, sing as if no one were listening, and live each day as if it were your last."

"We may not have it all together but together we have it all." -Irish proverbs

"When Nanny leaves her place, believe me, you'll know." -Nanny

“Sometimes, you just have to pick a side. Especially when the ground is cracking open under your feet.”

“So if you care to find me, look to the western sky! As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly! And if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free! To those who’d ground me, take a message back from me! Tell them how I am defying gravity! I’m flying high, defying gravity! And soon I’ll match them in renown! And nobody, in all of Oz, no Wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring me down!” Idina Menzel, “Defying Gravity”

“So strap me in a harness, and hoist me up to the sky! In all the big shows lately, all the leading ladies have to fly! And hanging from the rafters, I’ll dangle like a blimp! Pump up my volume, as I kill my flying chimp! And suddenly I’m defying subtlety. With that defying lack of subtlety I’ll capture world renown. I’ll blow the Gershwin up because I am the loudest Witch in Oz and no one’s gonna turn my volume down! ” –Forbidden Broadway, “Wickeder”

“And what kind of father would take his own daughter’s rights away? And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay? I can only imagine what the First Lady has to say! You’ve come a long way, from whiskey and cocaine!” –Pink, “Dear Mr. President”

Over what hill? When? Where? I DON’T REMEMBER ANY HILL!!!

“You see, when I said “we” were to return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself. You are to remain here. In spirit, anyways.”-Riff-Raff, Rocky Horror

Some people are like slinkies. Pointless, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
-Unknown

"What do you say we get out the power tools? Because nothing says 'Renaissance' quite like Echo chainsaw!"

"When he's not in action, he's in traction!"

"What do you think? Does this fall into the realm of really bad ideas?"

"For my next stunt, I'm going to juggle this chainsaw, this...big pointy thing, and an apple. Now folks, this is really dangerous, because I bought this apple from a guy on a street corner." ~cricket, scattered laughter~ "That is SO much funnier in New York City. In fact, I should perform this on the street in New York...Not wearing this, though...well, except in the Village." ~Laughter~ "I'm so glad that you appreciate this, because I told that joke in Georgia, and they looked back at me and said 'That boy ain't right.'"

"Every guy's head just turned. 'Whoa, dude with chainsaw! Wearing tights...maybe I don't want to see this.'"

"Now, folks, I've taken all the necessary precautions against flames. One, I am wearing loose-fitting clothing. Two, I have petroleum products in my hair and three, the stage is covered in gasoline!"

"When I first started performing this trick twenty years ago, I went to Home Depot to buy duct tape. Did you know they have six different kinds of duct tape there? So what I did was I took one roll of each kind up to the front, and I asked the manager: "Can you tell me which kind of duct tape sticks to skin the best?" So I think I'm on some kind of list. Yeah, a frequent buyers list."

"Are there any cops here?" cricket "That's wierd, usually they're chasing me."

"IT'S SHOWTIME! I'M OVER HERE! FOLLOW THE LANDING LIGHTS! COME SEE DEXTRE TRIPP PERFORM AMAZING, DEATH-DEFYING, STUPID THINGS! COME SEE SOME IDIOT RISK LIFE AND LIMB FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT!"

"Now folks, you will notice that I am not on the top rung. There's a reason for that. When I bought this ladder, there was a sticker on it. It said 'Warning, do not stand on or above this rung. May result in loss of balance, causing serious injury, or even death.' Which is why I'm gonna do it!"

"I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm up here playing Frisbee with a narcoleptic dog. I throw it, and nobody gets it! Yeah, I like that phrase so much I made it into a tee-shirt. It looks like a road sign. There's a guy on it, he throws the Frisbee at the dog, dog is lying on it's back, heel kicked into the air, it says 'Playing Frisbee with a narcoleptic dog.' Yeah, I came up with that. Drew it too, yeah, I can draw stick figures. My son likes the chainsaws, so he designed a shirt, it has a skull and two cross-chainsaws. It's like pirates of the Industrial Age. If you look closely, it has my mustache. And that crack in the skull? That's in one of my x-rays. Now, those shirts are availible in black, and yes- blood red!"

"Fear is fun! I mean, we go on roller coasters. They're scary and they're fun! We go to haunted houses or scary movies. They scare us, but they're fun! We go to the three-thirty Dextre Tripp thrill show at the Arizona Renaissance Festival. It's scary, but it's fun!"

"A friend will help you. A good friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move the body."

"A friend will bail you out of trouble. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting in the jail cell beside you, saying 'We fucked up big time. But man, was that fucking cool or what!"

"A friend will help you. A true friend will help you crucio the witnesses."

"Never be afraid to state the obvious."

"Chaos. mayhem, anarchy...our work here is done."

These next ones are just random callbacks to Rocky Horror. I don't know why I know them, I just do.

"Same room, different color, cheap ass movie!" "Same callback, different scene, cheap-ass audience!"

"Watch out for the holy water!" Janet hits the bowl of water. "Burns, don't it, bitch?"

Riff-"Say goodbye to all of this-" Audience-"Goodbye all of this!" "And hello...to oblivion." "Hi Oblivion, how's the wife and kids? Your wife, my kids!"

"God, give me a sign...I said a sign, not a billboard! Why the fuck is there a billbaord in the middle of a cemetary anyways?!"

"What diabolical chicken fucked your chin, stepped on your forhead and ate your fucking neck?"

"In the velvet darkness--douche douche douche twat--of the blackest night--twat twat twat douche--burning bright--what's up you ass?--there's a guiding star--(at the same time) brand new car!--Janet would you fuckme, no matter what--no matter what,--or who I are?-- or who you are

"Dammit, Janet, I (fucked Shamu!) love you"

"Climb that tie, climb that tie, climb that tie! Fuck that chin, fuck that chin, fuck that chin! Pick that nose, pick that nose, pick that nose!"

"I think perhaps you'd better both...come inside..." "I don't fucking care where you cum, just clean up after your own goddamn selves!"

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Ask a Pirate! by Angel's Star reviews
Ever wanted to know something about your favorite POTC characters? Well here's your chance to ask them and find out the answer!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 65,671 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 1/5/2007 - Complete
The Roger Theories by x Rajah x reviews
Did you ever happen to notice how many hugs Roger receives in the movie? Why do so many people hug the pretty boy frontman? Two teenage girls attempt to explain the adorably complex character of Roger. Formerly known as Longing for that Long Embrace.ROGER
RENT - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,621 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/29/2007 - Published: 7/28/2006 - Roger D. - Complete
Today 4 U: Roger's View by streco reviews
Written by me and my cuz. Roger's humored thoughts throughout... you guessed it... Today 4 U. Includes the hot plate lord, Mark's mom's matching undies gift!, and the wonderful word of persnickity :D
RENT - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,917 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/15/2007 - Roger D., Angel D. - Complete
Draco: Phoenix Rising by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Shortly after Dumbledore's fall from the tower, Draco ponders his fate and begins to question the Dark Lord's wishes. This is my version of Book 7 using JKR's plotlines and ZERO original characters! Begins right after The HalfBlood Prince.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 51 - Words: 150,871 - Reviews: 757 - Favs: 1,688 - Follows: 361 - Updated: 3/16/2007 - Published: 2/26/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella reviews
Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,536 - Reviews: 1739 - Favs: 3,172 - Follows: 670 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ask a Bohemian! reviews
Have you ever wnated to ask your favorite Bohemians something, but never could? Now you can! All you have to do is submit your questions, and the Bohemians will answer them!
RENT - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,973 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/6/2007 - Published: 7/30/2007 - Roger D., Mark C.
Did I Take a Step Too Far?
RENTRHPS. Post RENT. After Mimi died, Roger took off, without any destination in mind. He found himself at FrankNFurter's castle. Now, four months later, that moment comes back to haunt him. Can he own up to his mistake, or will he burn out?
RENT - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,170 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/22/2007 - Published: 6/6/2007