![]() I seriously wished all fanfics had one of these, Its freakin' awesome!! Torrid (fanfiction) NaruSasu- Untill We Bleed (Vid by:KittyA182 Fanfic by:by the amazing author KagaKitsuneXXX) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld3YDElYS90 If you haven't read this fiction I HIGHLY recommend it. Trust me after the first chapter you will be hooked. From Solitude Chronicles by Recode Hello, love! Hello, love! Spread your wings and fly Hello, love! Hello, love! Spread your wings and fly I wake up to the sunlight on my face. Feels like a razor dancing across my skin Now I'm so far away, I used to always try to make you laugh (I tried) I pretended like everything was alright Now I'm so far away, I don't want to go home Now I'm so far away, From Cutting Through It All by: Dhampir ( One of my all time fav fics!!)... Yuki!" I yelled, latching onto his waist once he walked through the door. "Get off me brat!" He growled and pushed me away. His blonde hair was soaked from the rain and he brushed the water from it with a swipe of his hand. Without another word, he stalked by me and locked himself in his office. I stared after him in minor shock, still on the ground, and ignored the tears starting to build in my eyes. Quickly, I grabbed the take-out I had ordered and knocked cheerfully on his door. "Yuki! I have food!" "Go away brat." He said from behind the door. I frowned, "But you have to eat…" The door suddenly opened and I found an enraged Yuki in front of me. "I said 'go away!' I can't get anything done with your annoying voice invading my thoughts. I have a deadline in three days and you incessant chatter is not helping." He grabbed my arm painfully, making me drop the food, and dragged me to the front door. "Get out." He whispered dangerously as he shoved me out into the cold rain without a jacket or shoes. I turned around to see the door slam shut in my face and the lock turn. Wearing only a t-shirt and shorts, I huddled beside the door for warmth, but the rain still pelted against me and by morning I was shivering with cold, soaked in ice cold water. Hiro was the first to notice something was wrong. He pulled me aside when I stumbled over a song we were recording and sat me down across from him. "Shuichi, what's wrong?" So I told him. I told him everything that had transpired the past couple days, how Yuki no longer had sex with me and how I thought he may be cheating on me. As I spoke, Hiro's face darkened with anger and disappointment, but I begged him not to harm Yuki or even approach him. He agreed, but resentfully and decided I needed to stay at his house for a couple days. What a mistake that was. I was so upset that I forgot to tell Yuki and when I came back three days later, I found him drunk and enraged. He was so close to me I could smell the beer on his breath and I trembled at the wild look in his eyes. "Where the hell have you been?" He rasped. "I-I-I—" He grabbed my shirt and pushed me against the door, "WHERE?" He yelled. "At Hiro's! He said I should sleep there for a couple days." Yuki laughed and took a step back, he never did look drunk, even when he was wasted. "Hiro's…you sleeping with him Shu?" "No!" I cried, "He thought I should give you a couple days…" "A couple days huh?" He smacked me across the face and I cried out. "You belong to me, Shu, and you will never spend the night at his house again." He hissed and then kissing me possessively, he bit my lip hard enough to make me bleed. Yuki stepped out of the car, sweeping back his sunglasses, and smiling. I couldn't believe it, Yuki smiled; I hadn't seen him smiled in two months! And then my world crumbled around me. Another person stepped out of his car, a young woman with blonde brown hair and blue eyes. I watched as Yuki pulled her close and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before walking into the café, his arm slung casually over her shoulder. Something I was rarely ever given the honor of, but this woman was receiving it freely and casually from Yuki and he was actually taking her somewhere. Somewhere public, before everyone, while I was stuck in the shadows as a disgusting secret you lock away and never talk about. I never knew what to expect, so I always planned for both. In two months, I had been thrown out more than in the last two years of living with him. I had taken to stashing a duffle bag of clothes and food outside where he didn't see it and now waited every night to see what he said. Even when he wasn't drunk, he'd throw me out for the stupidest things. Once, I had tripped over something in the hallway and Yuki had thrown me out for being too noisy Tonight was no different. He came out of the kitchen, glanced at me and then told me to get out. I stared horrified at him. The weather outside was freezing and I had just taken a shower tears already running down my face and sobs already caught in my throat I knew he was watching me,but I ignored him and slowly closed the door behind me. I went to collect my duffle bag from the side of the building when another car pulled into the driveway and a woman stepped out. I recognized her immediately as the blonde from earlier and I could see why Yuki chose her. She was beautiful with her dark blonde hair and piercing blue eyes and dressed in complete black, she looked absolutely stunning. I watched as she walked up to Yuki's apartment and saw him pull her inside and slam the door. I bit my lip until it bled to keep from screaming, but I didn't stay to hear her cry out in ecstasy and beg for more when Yuki screwed her. It was too much for me and I couldn't stay, but I didn't know where to go so I ran "Sh-Shuichi?" He asked, his voice shaking. "Why aren't you at work?" Yuki asked. Feeling too spiteful to care, I retorted. "Why do you care?" "Shuichi…" He reached out and touched my arm, gasping at how cold I was. "Sakura…do you mind if I take my…friend home? He's sick and can't care for himself." I heard Yuki say. I wasn't even his lover anymore. I jumped up and hit him. "I said 'go away' Yuki! You say it enough to me, you should understand it. Don't act like you care about me when you obviously don't!" I screamed at him and then ran away again. I ran away in fear. Never had I hit him before or even yelled at him, but I was in such a state of utter confusion and pain that I wasn't even thinking straight. I knew I'd regret it, but not once did I ever wish of being able to change what I did. He deserved it and I knew that, but I still couldn't leave him. And regret it I did. I had to come home at some point and when I did, he beat me so bad that I almost couldn't stand. He was drunk and out of his mind with anger, yelling at me for talking back to him and other incoherent things. Yet I didn't fight back. I wished for his touch so much that even the hits and the slaps and the kicks were soothing to my mind. He was touching me again and even if it was in anger, it was still his touch. But that couldn't help my pain. It couldn't help my need for him and so I turned to cutting myself once more. The next day, when he saw me bloody and bruised, I told him I met with some gang members and that they had beaten me, I couldn't tell him the truth. He made a move to touch my face, but I stumbled away from him and quickly apologized before locking myself in the bathroom. I loved watching my life essence rush out of me, it made me feel exhilarated and so alive to know I could feel something other than the cold numb feeling growing inside me dropped the razor into the sink and rushed into his room to gather my belongings and once again packed my duffle bag with clothes and possessions before sitting down on his bed and crying. This was the twelfth time this month I had packed my things and tried to leave him, but I couldn't. I just could not do it. The farthest I had ever gotten was the door before collapsing and crying out my grief, my pain, my love, my fear, my emptiness and yet Yuki never knew. I slowly returned my clothes and possessions back to their original places, nothing out of place, and then returned to the bathroom and cut my arms again, deeper this time and closer to my veins. I had panicked when I heard Yuki's angry steps coming closer and quickly hid the razor and gathered myself under a blanket on the couch. Yuki never noticed anything and I had long given up trying to converse with him, he was too wrapped up with his lovers and his work, his only true love, to even notice something was wrong with me. Once I was certain he was gone, I pulled back the blanket and stared at the blood I had rubbed into it, cursing myself for my foolishness. I hid the blanket under the sofa and slowly walked towards his study. Things were already spinning around me and I knew I needed to get to the hospital. I knocked. "Yuki?" "WHAT brat?" He practically yelled. "I-I…I'm going out for a little bit…" "Good, you're giving me a headache anyways." He muttered,but I heard the hesitance in his voice. , I don't know which was worse, that he didn't notice or didn't care to ask. Somehow I made it to the hospital and showed the ER nurse my arms. I made up some lame excuse about being angry and breaking a mirror and it cutting me, but I had already been there too many times and the ER nurse knew me. She wrapped my cut arms, pity evident in her eyes, but also anger at whoever was causing me to resort to this. After a couple hours, I returned back to Yuki's apartment, already morning, and collapsed onto the couch. Yuki never even knew I was gone. Three months had passed since everything had started and still Yuki noticed nothing. I had visited the hospital only twice—to anyone's knowledge—and refused the doctor let anyone know of my health, Yuki only came to visit me once. In reality, I was in the hospital at least once a week when my cuts wouldn't stop bleeding or got infected or whenever I passed out in the park or street. I blamed my dizzy spells on dehydration, lack of sleep, food or whatever else came to mind. I spoke to Yuki less and less and soon didn't speak to him at all except for a quiet hello when he walked in the door. I ignored the different perfumes on his clothes and refused to sleep in his bed even when he offered coldly. I would sometimes not sleep at night and cry, but I knew he didn't hear me. Walking home from NG Records and thinking about our latest hit, "Dying Inside", I had passed an abandoned alleyway when I suddenly stopped. I passed it every day and never thought another thing of it, but today was different. Today there were two people having sex against the wall, two people that I had seen far too often. Two blondes that were seen everywhere—on the news, in the streets and in his house. They had become the newest hot couple and every time I heard about them sent another knife into my heart. Yuki Eiri and Mohano Sakura, the same blonde that had come to his apartment that night, the same blonde that was in the park the next day and the same blonde Yuki had pressed against the wall . It was bad enough knowing about their relationship, I didn't need to see it was well. I turned away and knew nothing was left. I was an empty shell of what I once was, too many cuts and bruises to hide everything inside of me and I crumbled. I walked home slowly, my arms wrapped tightly around my body—the only touch I ever received anymore—and tears running down my face and chin as I stumbled down the road. I passed everyone who spoke to me and when I reached his apartment, I immediately went to the bathroom. Taking the razor, I slashed my arm and not even seconds later I had done it again. But the pain wouldn't leave this time and so I tried again. Already there were thirteen cuts on each arm and with each cut, I applied more pressure, trying to forget the pain Yuki had inflicted. I pressed the razor against the inside of my elbow and shallowly cut, bringing it down towards my wrist, watching as I began to apply more pressure until I was cutting too deep, but I still didn't stop. I repeated the same cut on my other arm, watching again as my shallow cut deepened until the metal reached my major veins. When I saw what I had done, I dropped the razor in shock and tried to stop the immense bleeding welling from each cut, but there were too many and the last two were too deep and I couldn't stop it. Soon, towels lay scattered across the bathroom, streaks of vivid red blood across them. I tried washing the blood off my arms, but all that did was cause even more blood to drip to the floor. In fear, I fled the bathroom and fell beside the couch, pulling my arms close to my bare chest. "Yuki…" I choked out. I don't know how long I've sat here—minutes…seconds—before Yuki came home, I watched him come in from my vantage point I watched as he took a hesitant step inside and scan the room for me, but he couldn't see me. "Shu?" He called, his brow knitted in confusion and his frown becoming more worrisome as he began chewing on his lip. "Shuichi? Shuichi, where are you?" I watched as he ran to his room, throwing the door open and then retreat to the bathroom. I heard him gasp at the bloody mess I had left behind and saw him appear, his face contorted with something, some unknown emotion. I knew then I was in trouble. He had seen, he had seen what I had done and would be angry at me and he'd leave me forever now. "Shuichi!" He yelled, his eyes frantically searching for me as he ran to the living room once more. "God, Shu, where are you? Please, tell me where you are!" I wanted to stay silent, but my lips betrayed me and a weak, "Yu…ki…" escaped me He gasped at the numerous cuts and looked almost hurt by what I had done. "Shu…what have you done?" He whispered, gently touching my arm. I snorted, what have I done? Oh Yuki, you mean what have you done. All this was because of you, because you ignored me, because you beat me, because you threw me out and because you cheated on me. How was I supposed to live with that knowledge? And yet I couldn't leave you, I couldn't live without you because I love you…so what else could I do? |
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