Name: Fuck U. Asshole

Age: 20, will be 21 in a few months

I...uh...I do shit here...I suppose? Hey, come on, don't give me that look, I'm fuckin' trying here, damn. GODDAMMIT, NO!!!! PUT THAT DOWN, YOU ASS!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!

A small glimpse into the madness of my unhinged, exhausted, autistic, caffeine-jacked, psychotic, violent, dark, twisted, broken mind, that was.

I have no idea what I'm doing, and if anyone manages to connect me to anything else I may or may not be involved in on the internet, you keep that to yourself and tell no one or I will find your sorry ass.

I don't ship anything. I do a mix of emotion, action, with some comedy and horror thrown in. I make characters with tragic backstories, murky pasts, shady connections, tendencies towards violence, drinking problems, offensive language, dirty humor, and false bravado hiding a broken soul. I create stories of triumph and tragedy, involving guns, blades, fast cars, hard liquor, and a born-2-die mentality. Every character I make has had some form of combat training, from the military to the underworld. Assassins, Mercenaries, Detectives, Killers, Soldiers, Agents, you name it. Black Knights, Angels of Death, Dead Men Walking, Anti-heroes, Paid heroes, Reformed villains, thugs, whackjobs, the like. Always with deep, dark backstories and shady, murky pasts.

I tend to involve references to my home state, and if you're smart, you can guess it by the jokes, names, places, products, and bits of local pop culture that I sprinkle around.

I tend to include references to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Die Hard, The Expendables, Hot Fuzz, The Transporter, Resident Evil (films), Lucifer, The Matrix, John Wick, James Bond, The Italian Job (2003), Crank, and Austin Powers.

I always include annotations for perfect tracks for certain scenes. No judgment on my eclectic taste in music.

Read my fucking disclaimer, you retard.

Some odds and ends about me:

I like McDonalds, Sprite Zero, PS4, Cool Ranch Doritos, Pizza Pringles, Subway, Dominos Pizza, Taco Bell, Diet Coke, Hershey Cookies N Crème, Peanut M&Ms, Reese's peanut butter cups, Flipz pretzels, Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Ice Cream, Iggy's Doughboys, Drive-In movies, Metallica, Eminem, Shinedown, Black Eyed Peas, The Beach Boys, Queen, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ozzy Osbourne, Lucifer, NCIS, The 2004 Red Sox, GTAV, GTA: SA, L4D2, HP, Lenovo, Sony, Jason Statham, Mark Wahlberg, Conan O'Brien, Louis C.K., Judd Hirsch, Maz Jobrani, Jeff Dunham, Gabriel Iglesias, James Bond, Hunter S. Thompson, Audi, Dodge, Plymouth, Nicki Minaj (mostly her tits, tho), Elvis Presley, Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Flo Rida, Trevor Philips, Burger King, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Madness Combat, Fireworks, Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Denny's, Olive Garden, LongHorn steakhouse, Jericho 941, Pan Am, TWA, Bill Clinton, Ronald Regan, Mr. Sark, Mikhail Gorbachev, Tits, Bill Gates, Cadillac, Imperial, Lincoln, and Hummer, among other things.

I dislike Hillary Clinton, Outback steakhouse, Macaroni Grille, Toyota, Mission: Impossible, Star Wars Prequels, CSI, Family Guy, Ted, The NY Mets, The NY Giants, Muslim Radicals, Greedy whores, Kanye West, and Jeb Bush.

I HATE Donald Trump, George W. Bush, Xi Jingping, Tyga, Justin Bieber, Keemstar, Kim Jong-Un, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot, Uwe Boll, The Westboro Baptist Church, The American Family Association, The KKK, Facists, Pepsi, Vladimir Putin, Iran, The Asshole who bombed Pan Am 103, Little Kids who play GTA: Online, Shrimp, dirty cops, Clint Eastwood, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Scientologists in general, Scientology in general, Satanism, L. Ron Hubbard (lol fag), Mike Pence, Heinrich Himmler, Yugo, Trabant, Smart Cars, Pink, Purple, Cars painted colors they just shouldn't be, Crazy fat fun-hating middle-aged bitches, Rich kids who brag about all the cool shit they get and didn't work for to make the rest of us feel jealous (I would only brag if I worked for my rolex or penthouse or Ferrari), abusive parents, bullies, ROBLOX, Bam Margera, Rachel Ray, Bible-thumpers, people who drive tiny little cars, drink weird-ass milk-ish substances, only eat organic, and hate on 70s Cadillacs/big trucks/SUVs/vintage cars/hard rock/metal/rap/techno/action movies/swearing/video games/whatever those assholes hate on, Islamic teachings regarding women and gays, bigots, people who think Timothy McVeigh was a hero, communists, dictators, Bruce Willis (as a person, pro-trump and hard to work with), my own voice, EA (YOU'RE DOING ILLEGAL SHIT, AND I COULD GET PROOF OF AN EMPLOYEE AND YOU WILL NEVER FIND OUT WHICH ONE, YOU CUNTS!!!!!), legal bullshit to exploit people, krokodil, heroin, any kind of race supremacist (be it white, black, latino, Asian, whatever), school, my hometown, snow, cold, rain, this fat old bag who lives down the street from my house, this asshole ginger kid a few streets over, a bunch of fucking kids who harassed me as I walked by and made a grown-ass man cry for kicks (I'll show those little fucks...), among numerous other things.