|||SuM fUnNaY sHeT ||||

Banana love cake
Ingredients: 2 whole nuts, 1 large banana, 2 strong arms, 2 well shaped legs, 1 fur lined mixing bowl, 4 loving eyes.
Mixing instructions: Look into eyes, part legs. Gently squeeze milk jugs. Continue until bowl is well greased. Add banana, top with nuts. Move in and out until cake is well creamed. Sigh with relief, let cool. Do not lick the bowl. If cake starts to rise, get out of town FAST!

For Women Only
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
he bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Learn CHINESE in 5 minutes!

That's not right- sum ting wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?- hu yu hai ding

see me ASAP- kum hya nao

stupid man- dum gai

small horse- tai ni po ni

did you go to the beach?- wai yu so tan?

i bumped into the coffee table- ai bang mai ni

i think you need a face life- chin tu fat

its very dark in here- wai so dim

i thought you were on a diet- wai yu mun ching

this is a tow away zone- no pak king

you're early- wai yu kum nao?

staying out of sight- lei ying lo

he's cleaning his automobile- wa shing ka

your body odor is offensive- yu stin ki pu