A Hufflepuff, a Ravenclaw, a Gryffindor, a Slytherin, and a Hogwarts teacher are sitting on a Hippogriff. The Hippogriff starts to get tired, so one of them has to jump off, or they'll all die!
The teacher jumps off and cries, "This is for the students!"
So the rest of them keep going, and then the Hippogriff is tired again.
So, the Hufflepuff says, "This is for Hufflepuff!" and jumps off.
But after a while the Hippogriff gets tired again, and the Ravenclaw jumps off yelling, "This is for Ravenclaw!”
Now, there is just the Slytherin and the Gryffindor left, but none of the rest, and the Hippogriff gets tired again.
So the Slytherin screams, "This is for SLYTHERIN!" and with that, he pushes the Gryffindor off.

On Jayde (shut up, you pervs.)!
Jayde Green is 16 years old, in the 10th grade, female, and lives in the United States of America. She feels that this is unfortunate because her British slang vocabulary is severely lacking. She appreciates Britpicking (or constructive criticism, for that matter) of any kind, and loves it when readers leave long, in-depth reviews. Jayde does not appreciate the efforts of what she calls “The Inquisitorial Squad 2”, otherwise known as the people who patrol this site and report writers for breaking the rules she feels are absolutely idiotic. Jayde loves music and the rule against the use of lyrics on this site was a great blow to her. However, using the Slytherin cunning she possesses in small amounts (she is roughly 34 percent Ravenclaw, 32 percent Gryffindor and 32 percent Slytherin according to the good folks at “sorting elite” on LJ, you see), she has interpreted the rule literally: lyrics that are not in the public domain will not be used. Expect many lyrics, poems, and quotes throughout her stories. She loves rock music, and her favorite band is AFI (A Fire Inside). If you, too, are one with radiating eyes, mention it in a review and she will adore you forever. And since she is a Fall Child, she is also straight-edge, which is why she signs reviews and things with ‘JXG’. Don’t be alarmed if she swears by odd things as well … like unicorns, pinkness, spaghetti, and various Harry Potter-related things. She is a Bright, and thus has the freedom to use many exclamations in the place of “OMG!” (“OMG(alloping)G(oddess)!” being the first that comes to mind.) Oh, and her favorite movie is Donnie Darko. Unfortunately, you cannot contact Jayde in any way outside of reviews, and vice versa. She has Parental Controls on her computer that prevent her from sending email, IMs, and using almost any other form of communication.

On Harry Potter!
Jayde first read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in April of 2000. She has been a devout Potterholic ever since. This mania does not extend to the movies - she loathes them with the passion only a purist can manage. Her absolute favorite book in the entire world is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Half-Blood Prince is much further down the list, despite the fact that she spent 46 dollars on her copy. She adores Harry Potter above all other characters, although Tom Riddle/Voldemort is a close second. (She believes that a ‘good’ villain is even more important to a story than the hero.) Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, the Marauders, and Lily are other favorites of hers. Characters that fall into a middle, grey category (people whom she is wary of, but finds fascinating) are Peter Pettigrew and Hermione Granger. She detests Snape, the Dursleys, Umbridge, and Fudge.

On Fanfiction!
Jayde began writing fanfiction in 2002; she stopped then as well. She is trying again now, but she never left the fanfiction world for a moment. She LOVES to read fanfiction! Jayde is not a shipper, although she supports H/G and R/Hr out of respect for canon. It is also important that you know she is not afraid to use constructive criticism. She does not flame. She writes down every thought and feeling the story evoked in her, and shows you how to fix mistakes, if there are any. She is a completely honest reviewer.

Her favorite plots tend to stray far from the line Jo has established: AUs, “what if?”s, dimension-travel, a good side-splitting parody, de-aging, Angry!Harry, Dark!Harry, NotJealous!Ron, ICness, ArseKicking!Harry, gore, authentic British writing, sarcasm, cool magical creatures, irony, Powerful!Harry, Bastard!Draco and Git!Snape, humor, Harry-meeting-his-parents, MWPP, ‘bad guys’, amnesia!fics, Survivor!Harry, Little kids!1 Aww, Harry-raised-by-other-people, Tom Riddle, Resurrected!James, and Rowling-humor are among the things she gets excited about seeing in fanfiction. Her favorite things are complicated, intricate plots though – like the ones found in canon.

She hates senseless Wormtail bashing, weak/broken characters (this is her only squick), mistakes in character descriptions (Harry with brown hair, etc.), plots that don't make any sense, flat characters, Moody-trunks, pairings that pop up out of nowhere, Evil!Ron, Severitus/Sevitus, "Constant Vigilance!" = Moody, and when ‘bad guys’ say words like “little”, “precious”, “darling”… etc. Enough about that.

On Jayde’s Works
Expect Ecdysis, a response to Phoenix Tears Type Six's "The Lion's Serpent" Challenge, soon.

"The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress." - Phillip Roth

~ JXG