With over five years of studying English grammar, I have became able to perfect any retarded nonsense into a cohesive sentence.

If you request my services, please read these following rates:

$100; Each Character, (including punctuation)

$2K; Hourly, (must have appropriate provisions during review)

$50K; Fanfiction of your choosing, (warning: I reserve all rights for content provided)

If you have any questions, please send a PM with the additional fee of $20 every second spent reading.

Sincerely, ConvictedKitten (Post-Doctorate Reviewer)