Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter. Avoid clichés like the plague!So I sat on the roofAnd I kicked off the moss Well, some of these verses, well they They've got me quite cross But the sun's been kind While I wrote this song It's the people like you that keep it turned on..._Bio: Well, I've been on this site for exactly one year today (7-2-04), so I can actually fill this space with something worth reading. My name's Juli, and I'm a proud resident of Red Sox nation. I write mostly Harry Potter fanfiction, but if I'm feeling creative, I'll post Star Wars, Tamora Pierce, or Moulin Rouge. By way of music, I'm primarily a trumpeter and a self-taught pianist and guitarist. I tend to listen to Simon & Garfunkel, M2M, Good Charlotte, Evanescence, and the Moulin Rouge soundtrack... no variety, right? I read anything and everything I can get my hands on, and have assessed my personality as being somewhere between Qui-Gon Jinn's and Akane's from Ranma 1/2, although my best friend says that I'm more like Oreo (is it Oreo? Oriko? Something like that) from Evangelion, which I've never watched. I'm also quite bibliobibulic, mattoidical, and heteroclitic. Don't get me wrong, though; my fanfics are a lot more interesting than I am._ Favourite Characters From Everywhere in no Particular Order: Mrs Q [Ayashi no Ceres, Meliara Astiar [Crown Duel/Court Duel, Sirius Black [Harry Potter, Qui-Gon Jinn [Star Wars, Christian [Moulin Rouge, Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau [Tamora Pierce, and Nealan of Queenscove [Tamora Pierce]. _My Fanfics: Yet Another Harry Potter Story: Sequel to Order of the Phoenix. Second half of summer through the end of their sixth year. I will probably have 25-40 chapters of this when it's completed. And if you're a Ron/Hermione shipper, it's not for you. I really despise R/H. Just because it's canon doesn't mean it's right. Ickle Firsties: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs' first year at Hogwarts!! What's with that humongous tree on the grounds and-- WHAT'S WRONG WITH REMUS? lol!! This is better than it sounds, and it's probably my best-written fic, due to the fact that there's more of a creative opening for characterization. _To the Readers: 7/2/04 - Yay! My one-year anniversary with ff.net! w00t _Not-so-Inside Jokes (Interesting Things That Happen at School... And Everywhere Else) "Hey guys! I just found a new word for myself! Pessimistic!" "I do not look like an Oompa-Loompa!" "You guys might want to copy off that empty desk over there... it seems to be doing quite well..." "Who needs a girlfriend? I have Ellen." "Oh!!! It's a little bitsy assignment notebook! Kawaii! It's sooooo cute!" "Well, yeah, YOU wouldn't mind gym class... you didn't have to get dressed when the power was out in a locker room with a bunch of screaming girls!" "BOOM!" "His name is now Frosty the Inanimate Snow Object!" "Sheesh! When you play your trumpet, it's so... So loud! I'll bet everybody in the whole... Whole school could hear you!" Old teacher: "Wow, Juli! You're getting so tall! And you, too, Brady! You're growing up!" "You can be wild around people you don't know. Chances are you'll never see them again. And if you do, run like heck." "Now I'm going to go read the dictionary like everyone thinks I do!" "I is gyfted, I is smurt, I is... MOMMY! MY BRAYNE HURTS!" Nathan: Red Sox are things you put on your los dedos del pie. Sarah: Athletes are stupid. Me: What is your name? Lackey: Captain Three Times! Teacher: Okay. Your hypothesis is that you think the sun only rises because of a rooster crowing. Design an experiment to test this hypothesis. What did you get, Juli? Yadav: It's weird... I was feeling so happy all day, and now that the spelling bee's next period, I feel like... "Really? Wow, that was a guess! I'm smart! I'm a genius after all! Wow? Again? I'm so smart! Again! I'm a genius again again! I'm smart again again again!" "Wait... so if the Japanese are the Japs, then the Germans are the... Germs?" "YAAAAAY THOMAS!" Band director: See, trumpets, for a rock song, the tempo has to keep moving. Quotes: Now the years are rolling by me, they are rocking evenly, and I am older than I once was, yet younger than I'll be. That's not unusual. No, it isn't strange, after changes upon changes I am more or less the same. After changes, I am more or less the same. We are only as strong as we are united, and only as weak as we are divided. When you say jump, I pull out the trampoline... but I don't jump. My only true ambition in life is to become famous enough for everyone to pronounce and spell my name correctly. Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Before you criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes. If I have a little money, I buy books. If I have anything left over, I buy food and clothes. Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know, and I don't care. America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimetre bullet. Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch. Humor is also a way of saying something serious. Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. Blow, bugle, blow! Set the wild echoes flying! Blow, bugle! Answer, echoes! Dying, dying, dying... Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?' A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it. Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'. What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds? The world is my lobster. A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the presence of fear with the will to go on. Recipe for Fenway grass: 85 percent Kentucky bluegrass, 15 percent perennial ryegrass, lots of water, lots of love, and keep the fans off the field. An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than any other animal. This town's always gonna think I'm a little crazy; someone's always gonna try and label me insane! I just wanna live, I don't wanna quit! I just wanna try, I don't wanna fit! If that makes me crazy then I am... Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening. It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important. We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. Self indulgence. There's a great message in those words. If you don't indulge yourself, nobody will. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles'. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets. Jon: I am a thinking human being, and you are a lowly house pet. BAM! Jon: I meant to do that! Garfield: The thinking human being missed the doorway. I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret. There are no wise few. Every aristocracy that has ever existed has behaved, in all essential points, exactly like a small mob. Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. The truth is more important than the facts. A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountaintop. The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. A stitch in time may save nine, but it would have confused Einstein. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. The difference between the right word and almost-the-right-word, is the There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true. Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. You have not converted a man because you have silenced him. There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor. A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. Roses are red; violets are blue. I love Spectre Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. I think walking up to Fenway is thrilling. The approach to it. The smells. You go to Fenway and you think, 'Something wonderful's going to happen today'. Inside my heart is breaking/ My make-up may be flaking/ But my smile still stays on The show must go on/ The show must go on/ On - with the show - The great tragedy of Science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. Jon: Ah go' a papah cu' on mah thung wicking ahn envewope. Garfield: Potato chip? Jon: Thunks. AHH AHH GAH GYAH... Garfield: Fun with salt! Wa- wait a second. Is this a kissing book? 'He sounds exactly like Moody,' Harry said quietly, tucking the letter away again inside his robes. 'Constant viligance! You'd think I walk around with my eyes shut, banging off the walls...' Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice / in the church where a wedding has been / Lives in a dream / Waits at the window, wearing the face / that she keeps in a jar by the door / Who is it for? Sorry, dude, you can't beat me in your Charlie Brown shirt and Cavariccis. Baby, you come up to my waist. You need a barstool to get up in my face! I'm not short, I'm vertically challenged. Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'...they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git'... Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. "Now, logically, what else floats?" "Cider!" "Churches!" This isn't right. This isn't even wrong. It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race. The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. Computers are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. The monkeys stand for honesty, giraffes are insincere, and the elephants are kindly, but they're dumb. Orangutans are skeptical of changes in their cages, and the zookeeper is very fond of rum! Zebras are reactionaries, antelopes are missionaries, pigeons plot in secrecy, and hamsters turn on frequently! What a gas! You gotta come and see- at the zoo! When they raze Fenway, it'll be like cutting down an old tree. Count the rings. There'll be one for each triumph and each heartache suffered by Red Sox fans. Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity. The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any. You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. I loathe the expression "What makes him tick." It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm. Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. A man with his priorities so out of whack does not deserve such a fine automobile. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them. You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun. California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange. Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. Your values are different. For example: she has them! I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. A prose writer gets tired of writing prose, and wants to be a poet. So he begins every line with a capital letter, and keeps on writing prose. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. We come on the ship they call the Mayflower. We come on the ship that sailed the moon. We come in the age's most uncertain hour, and sing an American Tune. There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who, with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. Ask not what your trumpet can do for you. Ask what YOU can do for your trumpet. So you want to be a leader, you want to change the game? Turn your back on money, walk away from fame. You want to be a missionary, got that missionary's zeal? A stranger changes your life, how's that make you feel? You want to be a writer, but you don't know how or when? Find a quiet place, and use a humble pen. * You may now go about your regularly scheduled, boring day. * BUT NOT BEFORE YOU R&R MY FANFICS! ^ - ^ |
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