16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".
7.Don't use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It's called therapy.

Everyone: has rockcandy
Tom: Colin why are you licking yours?
Colin: you'll laugh at me.
Mark: No we won't.
Tom: Come on just...
Mark and Tom: Tell us!
Colin: Fine! GOD! pauses my teeth are fragile.
Mark and Tom: Hahahahahahahahaha.
Tom: No really, just bite it.
Colin: FINE! bights rockcandy hisses
Maddie: why are you hissing?
Colin:would you rather I scream?
Maya: why would you hiss...
Lunae: ...or scream?
Colin: shows everyone rock candy
teh rock candy: has und vampire fang in it. and it be bloody

Things to Ponder:
1. Why isn't "Palindrome" spelled the same back backwords and forwords?
2. Why do people look up when they think?
3. Why is yawning contagious?
4. If all the world is a stage, then where is the audience sitting
5. Is a laughing stock cattle with a sense of humor?
6. What happens when none of your bees wax?
7. If Walmart is lowering prices daily, then how come none of it is free yet?
8. Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?
9. Is it possible to be totally partial?
10. When someone says "you know what they say..." Who are they?
11. If I break the laws of physics do I go to jail?
12. Why do slow down and slow up mean the same thing?

I wanna taco. you know who can't have a taco? Cedric. BECAUSE HE'S DEAD!
Nothing: is funnier then that line

10 things in golf that sound dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

We are all insane...but some of us are better at hiding it then others. And no, I am not one of the others...