Ino finds a head. The head won't shut up. Then she finds the rest of him. Hidan x Ino.

Odd pairings. Whimsical humour. Somewhat disturbing scenarios. It's what you'll find here in this collection of crack drabbles.

When Sasuke Uchiha decided he wanted to make friends on the internet, he never knew how attached he would truly get to a very interesting individual named Rammy. NaruSasu

When Harry submits a photo of his most-prized bodily part to a renowned "critiquer", he gets a terrible review. Determined to improve, he decides to take a photography class to hopefully increase his rating. Quite a lot of mature content in here, due to the subject matter, as one would suppose. LOL

Harry is visiting Florence, Italy, when he runs into an unexpected person. They decide to explore the city together and by the end of the night, everything that Harry thought he knew had changed.

An argument gets a little too personal and suddenly all of Karasuno is made aware of the true nature of Kageyama's and Hinata's relationship. BL KaheHina fic M for language and themes

Draco has woken up in an alternate universe. Or he has woken up utterly insane. Nothing else can possibly explain why Harry Potter suddenly seems to think he's Draco's boyfriend. An eight year fic. Post-DH. EWE. HPDM. SLASH. Mature content.

"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep." The moments in Shikamaru's life when he is not asleep. Drabbles

Sometimes unforeseen side effects aren't the worst thing that can happen to a person. Post-DH. EWE. HPDM. SLASH. Mature content.

Sometimes mistletoes want you to punch each other. HPDM. Slash. Eight Year. Hogwarts!fic. EWE.

Naruto has taken to stalking his best friend Sakura, because he is in love with her. She likes someone else, which is what leads him to this new hobby. Then again, Naruto's got a stalker of his own, and getting rid of him seems to be more trouble than it's worth. SasuNaru

Hilarious letters written to the fans of Naruto based on the characters need to correct some improper information displayed through endless cliche tales written about them. Canon based world. Slight pairings mentioned. Enjoy.

Itachi Uchiha suddenly finds himself in an unpleasant situation when Deidara; sifting through Orochimaru's old experiments, accidentally transforms himself into a baby, and decides he's 'mommy'. Fortunately, the jutsu will reverse itself...in time. Itachi's 'mom' for now. But it takes a village to raise a child, right? How about a criminal organisation? Kinda crack-y. One-shot

Naruto loves Christmas, and the holiday season can only improve when his old best friend returns home after 5 years of no contact. With everyone working together again, it'll be just like old times -except that Sasuke's all out of Christmas spirit. With Naruto out to prove how magical Christmas really is, will Sasuke be glad he came home this year? Contains yaoi and lemons

With Iruka's senior class graduating soon, he decided to end their schooling days how they started; with a field trip to the local gardens. But where are the smiling, cheerful students that he started out with? What happened to those friendships? Maybe some last minute bonding can change things; maybe even bring them back together...or at least get them to interact...

Every Valentine's Day, Naruto's work hosts an event for lonely singles and this year he's determined to NOT be one of them. He's a romantic at heart, but with work, and helping his friends with their plans, how can he expect to fall in love when he can't even get a date? Or does love already have something interesting in store for him? Contains yaoi and lemons

When Naruto had followed Sasuke after class one day, he'd never expected to wind up abducted and trapped with him. Their friends are worried, but when the only cop they can trust runs into trouble of his own; what can they do? Outwit the kidnapper, of course. Hopefully they succeed before anything... interesting...happens... Contains yaoi AND LEMONS. SasuNaru KisaIta HidaDei

Sequel to This Never Happened. They made a promise to never do it again but some promises you can't keep. Not when you are a teenager with raging hormones. Where will this lead these boys to? Warning: male/male, explicit, language, generally dirty stuff.

Hinata wasn't stupid, if she was she never would have seen the jealous, pain-filled eyes of Sasuke Uchiha as he stood as best man for her marriage to Uzumaki Naruto. SasuXNaru

Sasuke Uchiha had thought that what had happened over summer with Naruto meant nothing. However, when he runs into the blonde at college, he starts to see things a little differently...even if Naruto doesn't. As for Hidan, can he finally prove to Deidara that he's *not* a complete waste of time? Contains yaoi. Rated M. SasuNaru HidaDei KisaIta

The best part about Halloween is always the Horror House; a terrifying attraction run by the Uchihas. Just like every year, Naruto winds up lost; but this year, he feels like someone's watching him; stalking him through the house, the maze and even the cornfield. This Halloween is definitely going to be one to remember. Contains Lemon: (YAOI) Not actually a horror story. SasuNaru

Summer's here and Naruto Uzumaki is excited about his family vacation! Pity there's a certain Uchiha who he instantly clashes with. New friends and sexy resort employees: summer flings are in the cards! Warning: Contains yaoi and Lemons. SasuNaru, KisaIta, HidaDei, ShikaTem, NejiGaa. RE-UPLOADED: originally "Summer Loving".

It's exam time and who doesn't love a bit of procrastination, especially when it comes in the form of the library chat-room! Banter, study-unrelated discussion and the invasion of personal lives ensues. Who needs secrets anyway? Yaoi pairings

Harry is not quite himself after hanging out at a pub with Neville to catch up on events. Enter Draco Malfoy, drunk, amorous, and oh-so-interested in not-Harry. MATURE CONTENT EVENTUALLY, I'M SURE.

That was one hell of a party...but what the hell happened, and what will come of it? What messes have been made while drunk and require cleaning up while sober? Sasuke and Naruto had a competition, Neji made a public spectacle...and why's Kisame in such a good mood? Contains Yaoi and lemons. SasuNaru KisaIta HidaDei NejiGaa

"WHAT THE HELL IS FANFICTION?" Naruto and some of our favourite characters are about to find out the hard way when they get sucked from the ninja world into a collection of fanfics and are forced to play out cliche after cliche; learn about 'lemons', and discover that maybe yaoi isn't so bad. . . . SasuNaru KisaIta HidaDei NejiGaa LEMON WARNING FOR LATER CHAPTERS

Itachi Uchiha, though mischievous, is full of good intentions. His methods are slightly questionable; especially where his (mostly) unsuspecting friends are concerned...but who doesn't love a bit of well-meaning trickery when it comes to love? Drama and confusion ensues! Warning: contains yaoi and lemons. HidaDei, ShikaTem, KibaHina, SasuNaru, NejiGaa.

Naruto is all about getting involved in other peoples' lovelives, so when he decides that the new labworker, Neji, is perfect for their boss, Itachi Uchiha; what can he do but interfere? But how can he and Sasuke convince the 'don't-mix-work-and pleasure' Itachi to give it a shot? And when will Hidan stop being such a jerk? Be warned: yaoi and lemons; SasuNaru ItaNeji HidaDei

Erwin/Levi - It was already an eccentric decision to have Levi join them, so it stood to reason that he would have to use unconventional methods to make him obey him.

It's been seven years since high school, but a reunion reveals that some people haven't moved on and haven't changed. Sasuke's still an asshole to Naruto, and uptight Neji still can't stand the lazy Shikamaru. Can a week trapped in high school activities and memories change what time hasn't? Contains yaoi and eventually lemons. SasuNaru, ShikaNeji

Harry is back at Hogwarts minding his own business when he finds himself magically drawn to Draco Malfoy. Over and over again. MATURE CONTENT HEREIN BECAUSE I LIKE IT.

When Sasuke becomes the new supervisor of the Konoha University magazine's crazy writing crew and their perverted DJ friends, he instantly clashes with them. Naruto hates his guts, and Neji hates that he hired Shikamaru; of all people! Hilarity ensues. Contains Yaoi and eventually lemons. SasuNaru, ShikaNeji, HidaDei

Erwin/Levi - Levi introduces a welcome interruption to Erwin's busy day.

One night, Kagami got shitfaced drunk and something happened between him and Aomine. In the morning things didn't look too good. But what's with all this? Why did his heart go doki doki wildly whenever he thought of Aomine? AoKaga pairing. I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

Kagami Taiga would normally be busy with only school and basketball but he met this one guy online and they started a really twisted relationship. He wished none of that happened. Inspired by tumblr OTP challenge. WARNING!: Explicit male/male actions, language, dirty in general. Oneshot. Lame summary, sorry.

Draco has a new life goal and no one and nothing shall hinder him in his valiant pursuit to join the Eaters of Death. Except possibly that pesky Captain Potter. (Fic heavily inspired by Dr Horrible's Sing-along Blog.) Epistolary fic. Cracky. Read with no expectations.

Aomine is desperate to have sex with Kagami. He's surprised when he hears the reason why the red-head is hesitating. AoKaga BL

Aomine and Kagami are ticking time bombs, the heat between them ready to explod eat any moment. AoKaga BL

Harry has shut himself and his children away from the wizarding world and although he claims to be perfectly happy, his son Albus thinks otherwise and begins a plot to help his father find love again.

It's Christmas Eve and Aomine has a major surprise in store for Kagami. MxM AoKaga pairing

Anyone who thinks that Aomine is the sex fiend between the two of them is sorely mistaken. AoKaga.

On a sunny afternoon. AoKise

Halloween was the only time of the year when incubi got into their heat. Kise was not an exception. AU!Supernatural fic presenting Incubus!Kise and phantom-panther!Aomine as his mate. Oneshoot complete.

A brief snippet of Aomine's and Kagami's established relationship - written for the prompt: If you have time, I'd like to see a Aomine x Kagami fic where they just fool around and act like idiots and be cute and hilarious together. BL, Aomine x Kagami pairing

You gotta put your back into it, if you know what I mean. Hayama/Miyaji

Kise's riding the subway home and a pair of wandering hands start to touch places that shouldn't be touched. AoKise, PWP, All that good stuff.

Harry thought he was perfectly happy until Hermione decided to set him up on a blind date. Mature adult content eventually.

Kise finds out the hard way just how much Aomine's voice turns him on, and how much of an ass Aomine can be when he finds this out. Fill for anon meme, Aomine/Kise, phone sex.

"When you cross the street, you should hold hands with someone." In which Kagami the firefighter volunteers at the kindergarten for a day. Kagami/Kuroko, jobs!AU

For reasons he'd rather not think about, Draco is obsessed with Potter's hair. This cannot end well. Hogwarts!fic. HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.

"It's a look that means he wants to be kissed." Kagami/Kuroko

When you open up your home, make sure you know who you're opening it up to. Otherwise you might end up with a drop-dead sexy incubus who wants nothing more than to bend you over the nearest surface and have their way with you. Shameless KisaIta, demon!Kisame.

Sasuke believes that a little thing like marriage should never get in the way of a perfect relationship. Unfortunately for him, not everyone agrees. NaruSasu AU

"I bet you're a vegetarian," said Temari, and she plucked at a nearby plant. "Here's a leaf for you, try not to choke." It all went downhill from there... One road. Two bunkhouses. Three weeks of border patrol. Neji x Temari.

Draco wakes up in an unfamiliar place with unexpected company. Yes, this has mature content, like usual. Third time is a charm?

Albus and Scorpius are stuck working on a holiday. Luckily, Albus knows a way to make things more interesting. MATURE CONTENT HEREIN, ETC.

Kakashi comes home early and discovers a secret Iruka's been keeping from him.

With titles like this, who needs summaries?

A lot can happen in six Halloween's. ShikaTema R & R?

After times of war are over and everyone's finally at peace, Sasuke and Naruto settled down to share a plate of pork buns, a cup of sweet green tea. . .and discuss some rather disturbing things in a curiously interesting conversation. Yaoi implications.

One of those fics where Draco is walking around innocently and is all: Lalala, and then suddenly he finds a naked Harry Potter tied to his bed. SLASH. HPDM. Humour. Post-DH. EWE. An eight year fic.

Harry can't accept it when Draco finally beats him to the Snitch. Mature content warning, etc. PWP

Arthur attends a prestigious university and seems to have everything going his way… except for an inability to do his own laundry. Mature content herein, etc.

Harry returns to Hogwarts for his "8th year" in order to pass his N.E.W.T.s and make it into the Auror program. One of his classes is Muggle Studies and the new teacher has a brilliant idea to help them appreciate certain forms of Muggle entertainment.

"This doesn't mean anything," Malfoy told him. NC-17.

Harry returns to Hogwarts as the new DADA instructor, only to find his teaching efforts thwarted by a very familiar ghost. This fic contains mature content and the necessity of one of our boys not being alive. Exactly. *grin*

The thing about war is that it makes you think. Winner of ShikaTemaShrine's In Love and War Contest on DA. ShikaTema

Temari decides to teach Hinata how to woo Naruto- unfortunately for Shikamaru, using him as her model. ShikaTema NaruHina Fluff R&R?

The first piece of advice that Nara Shikamaru's father gave him when he was preparing to leave home was 'don't work too hard, remember where you come from and never, ever fall in love with a Geisha.' Shika/Tema long historical oneshot. R?R

"Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife." Being tricked is also an occupational hazard of being a husband, as Shikamaru finds out. R&R?

Set in the same AU as "Piercings". Sasuke screws his favourite firefighter. PWP, yaoi, SasuNaru, you know the drill.

Auror Potter and Counsellor Malfoy return to Hogwarts in order to protect their children from a man who has vowed revenge. Of course, it's quite a lot more complicated than that. MATURE CONTENT BLAH BLAH.

Albus Severus/Scorpius, all grown up and trying to be Aurors. I was looking for something else and discovered I hadn't posted this. Whoops. ALL MATURE CONTENT ALL THE TIME.

Out of the million pairs of eyes Sasuke had scanned over his career, one set of blue were the only ones that had ever meant to catch his own. SasuNaru.

All Draco wants is sleep, but his bed won't stop talking. More importantly, it refuses to stop looking like Harry Potter. HPDM, SLASH, HUMOR, COMPLETE.

A typical Auror mission goes somewhat awry when Aurors Potter and Malfoy are forced to perform it without magic. MATURE ADULT CONTENT AND NO PARTICULAR RELEVANCE. :D

During a party at Auror HQ, Harry stumbles across Draco Malfoy wearing a questionable holiday outfit. OMG H/D AND MATURE ADULT CONTENT! IT MUST BE THE HOLIDAYS! XD

When Pigwidgeon develops a crush on Draco Malfoy's owl, it's up to Harry to retrieve the lovelorn animal. Again. Harry should probably do something about keeping Pig contained... This is being turned into an amazing comic by ile-o on Deviantart. SO GOOD! Adult content advisory, etc.

When Scorpius's parents split up, his mother takes him to live in France, and he transfers to Beauxbatons, just after Albus has discovered how much he fancies Scorpius. No mature content OMG WHAT?

Sasuke critiques Naruto's technique. During sex.

Unable to resolve their differences in England, Minister Shacklebolt sends Aurors Potter and Malfoy to a beautiful Finnish resort in order to work out their issues. Or else.

Uchiha Mikoto is a woman with a plan: get Itachi and crazy Uncle Madara's bodyguard together...at all costs. And she doesn't care how much she has to embarrass Itachi to accomplish her aim. The ends justify the means...more or less. Kinda cracky. KisaIta.

ShikaTema. If there was one thing that turned Shikamaru on, it was watching Temari play shogi with him. Smutty one-shot.

When Blaise Zabini can't have the object of his affections, he starts looking for a substitute. To his surprise, Zacharias Smith turns out to be a better choice than expected. DON'T JUDGE ME, JUST TRUST ME AND READ IT. It's CUTE. Yeah, mature content.

Harry discovers that snogging your enemy in unused corridors is one thing, attending costume balls together is something else entirely... A tiny bit of Mature Adult Content. And a broom closet. :D

Harry and Draco are on the same professional Quidditch team. Go Catapults! But Draco's behaviour is becoming increasingly puzzling to Harry. MATURE ADULT CONTENT AS USUAL.

It takes a camping trip and a punch in the face for Sasuke to realise how he actually feels about Naruto. SasuNaru, lemon, slight NejiKiba hints

Living in a one bed-roomed flat surrounded by two exceptionally good-looking guys on either side isn't as much fun as Temari thought it'd be. Especially when one's smart, funny and sweet. And the other's shirtless. Shika x Tema x Hidan. R&R?

Sort of an alternate reality fic in which Draco and Harry discover they are brothers, much to Draco's... rage. This is not a fluffy, happy fic and contains POSSIBLY DISTURBING MATURE ADULT CONTENT and all that. Be warned.

Naruto spends time with Sasuke while Sasuke does time. In Suna.

It's Harry's engagement party and he's getting entertained by someone who is decidedly not his fiancée . Harry/Draco.

It started out as a dare, so why the hell was Naruto pressed up against a bathroom wall with a sexy body piercer kneeling between his legs? SasuNaru One Shot

SasuNaru main. Naruto and Sasuke aren't very good at settling down. Sakura narrates. Also NaruHinata, SasukeOC, and LeeSakura.

Sasuke, aged 10, asks the question every parent- and older brother, in this case- dreads to hear: what is sex? Try not to scar him too much, Itachi. Background KisaIta.

Harry is hired to break some curses at Malfoy Manor and encounters an evil chair... and a chocolatier. CONTAINS MATURE ADULT CONTENT, some bondage, chocolate abuse, and lots of kissing.

In which Yamamoto attempts to address Gokudera's regrettably low self-esteem. Smut, Yamamoto x Gokudera.

It's not that he didn't want Harry's name on him; Draco Malfoy just didn't find the prospect of having another mark on his arm very appealing. Slash.

Harry makes a stupid wager against Malfoy and ends up paying the price. EXTREME MATURE ADULT CONTENT WARNING AND I'M NOT EVEN JOKING. This fic exploded my brain.

AU. Shikamaru gives new meaning to the term 'sexy librarian'. Neji just might learn something. ShikaNeji, NC17ish.

Find the right key to open up someone’s heart and everything else will fall into place. SasuNaru.

Draco Malfoy is not allowed puzzles of any kind. His boyfriend, Harry Potter, says so. Holiday fic. Slash.

KakaSaku. One-shot. For a man who claimed to hate hospitals so much, Kakashi sure did spend a lot of time in them. And Sakura was finally beginning to understand just why...

...Or when Kisame and Itachi realised that sex would be better together, and that Kisame was packin'. Birthday fic for ICHIGO-ANDO-HIME! KisaIta

If you are his first love, you must teach him how to be a proper boyfriend,how to love you,how to care for you, for the sake of the sisterhood." Unfortunately for Temari, as far as Shikamaru went, Ino had done none of those things. Oneshot. Shika/tema.

And if Nature has withheld from you the sensation of pleasure, then teach your lips to lie and say you feel it all." Shikatema fluff.

Draco has a drinking problem. Written for speedpr0nz challenge in which everyone has two hours or less to write a fic. MATURE ADULT CONTENT YADDA YADDA ETC.

The note was rather simple and Naruto didn’t even turn to see what the words had done to Sasuke. Had he, perhaps he wouldn’t have been so caught off guard later on. NaruSasuNaru PWP For Jelp

In my attempt to write things that should never be written, I cranked out this quick Percy/Cormc after deciding Percy never got very much action. LOL! MATURE ADULT CONTENT AND ALL THAT. SLASHY. YES.

Naruto is sick and tired of his noisy neighbors upstairs, so he decides he and Sasuke should make some noise of their own. CRACK, SasuNaruSasu, hard yaoi.

Naruto finds inventive ways to teach his new genin team. Sasuke/Naruto

Temari is too nosy for her own good. Gaara x Hinata. Crack.

She was already hopelessly late for her court appointment; the last thing she needed was to run down a member of one of the city's most dangerous crime syndicates. Ino. Hidan. Crack AU.

Draco Malfoy is hiding something and his son, Scorpius, is determined to find out what it is. Or who it is, rather.

After the Ember Island Players' performance, and with the help of a little rice wine, Zuko and Katara decide to rewrite an alternate ending to their story. Oneshot, Zuko/Katara. Rated M.

Every guy in Konoha is in love, and all Shikamaru needs is someone to help him clean out his shed! Is that too much to ask? Why do guys always drop their friends for girls? A fluffy, gooey, first-kiss one-shot. Shika/Tema, with Kiba/Ino & Naru/Saku.

An accident leaves Draco and Harry bound tightly together. Literally. EWE, Hogwarts!fic, the "Eight Year", forced bonding . . . no, wait, forced bondage fic, detention cliché, accidental kissing, HPDM, SLASH.

Auror-in-Training Harry crosses Pansy Parkinson, who gets revenge in a rather embarrassing fashion. Luckily, Draco decides to rescue him. MATURE CONTENT WARNING ETC

It's ironic how a penthouse letter can be so detailed - yet leave out so much. NaruSasu SasuNaru

Temari has kicked Shikamaru out of their bedroom for almost a month now. After sleeping on the couch for so long Shikamaru attempts to figure out what the hell he has done wrong to annoy his lovely wife with the help of his brothers-in-law. ShikaTema

Harry Potter, sick of hiding his relationship with Draco Malfoy, decides that he wants to come out to the world. Draco Malfoy, the more rational of the two, thinks that this might not be the best idea.

Powerful desire. Powerful feelings. Move for me. SasuNaru

In my quest to conquer all possible Harry/Draco cliches, I present my Rentboy!Draco fic. *evil smirk* Harry is an Auror and Draco is a Rentboy. This is not a typical rentboy story.

NaruSasu Left behind while his friends go on holiday, Naruto ends up at a Venetian festival where he finds he isn't as alone as he thinks.

As the youngest son, Prince Sasuke Uchiha never thought he’d be offered the title of king. Now, with his dreams at his fingertips, he will learn that sometimes you must get lost to be found and not all favors are easy to return. SasuNaru

Naruto/Sasuke In which Sakura gets laid a lot and Naruto is repeatedly cock-blocked.

Naruto insists that Valentine’s Day isn’t that big of a deal. His advice? Just ask. He did and he has the chidori burn to prove it. SasuNaru

Harry awakens after a long sleep to find things terribly changed. He's not in an alternate universe... it just seems like it.

Naruto was a man with a plan Naruto/Sasuke

A student and her teacher, in love. It was her teacher, not her father, that raised her to be a woman. Surprise pairing.

A missing nin, a squirrel, a chance encounter and... oh dear. It's a body swap story! ShikaTema ShikamaruxTemari

ShikaTema. A homecoming. So much WAFF you may perish.

GaaHina. Reader request. "In a rare moment of awareness, it occurred to Gaara that death by sunburn wasn’t something a normal person would have on his mind while staring at his lover."

Sasuke mistakes his savior for an angel and asks him to stay. Naruto, a firefighter doing his job, hasn’t broken a promise yet. Written for NaruSasu Day

Sasuke ponders other’s conceptions of his relationship with Naruto and hopes that the blonde idiot enjoys his present. Happy Birthday, Naruto.

I no longer remember why I felt like writing a Draco in Seattle story, but this is it. LOL! YES, there are mature adult situations herein. As usual.

Sasuke doesn’t want the three wishes the damn genie is offering him. He’s an Uchiha… if he wants something, he’ll get it. And he wants the blonde haired, blue eyed genie…

Sasuke’s day had been a living hell thanks to one blue eyed, blonde haired idiot. Said idiot swallowed thickly, “What the hell, teme?” Sasuke smirked and leaned in to whisper, “You owe me.” SasuNaru Plot? What plot? For Master of Rebels... finally.

Harry spots Draco at a Muggle football game. Stalking ensues. OH SO much mature adult content here. Also, this fic is based on a header occasionally used on my LJ page.

Scorpius Malfoy is happy with his orderly life and his new teaching position at Hogwarts, until a chance encounter with Albus Potter. Yeah, this contains mature adult content and slash. As usual.

One beautiful sunny Sunday the Slytherins woke up after a raunchy night only to discover that a very naked Harry Potter had slept amongst them. Naturally, they asked themselves a logical question: Who the hell shagged him? HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.

Draco thinks Harry has lost his flair for adventure. Harry proves him wrong. Humour, Hogwarts!fic. HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.

Draco has an intense veela encounter. Veela!Harry, Winged!Harry, Midair!sex. Well, otherwise, what are the wings for? HUMOUR. HPDM. SLASH. COMPLETE.

Auror Harry Potter acts like a complete slut and Draco intends to find out why. Fluff. DMHP. SLASH. ONESHOT.

Harry is sick, but Draco knows how to make him feel better. Humour. Fluff. HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.

Harry wants Draco, Draco wants Harry, and Pansy wants gold. All in all, this is not a bad situation. Hogwarts!fic, Humour, HPDM, SLASH, ONESHOT.

This was supposed to be a swashbuckling pirate story. It sort of took a turn into Whaaaaa? but it's now my favorite, so I guess it's not all bad... Anyway, Auror Harry takes a vacation and runs into Pirate Draco. This fic contains MATURE content.

What's a better test of Draco's straightness than Harry Potter in leather trousers? Humour. HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.

After being disinherited, Draco thinks that Harry and he are quite poor, but he is in for a big surprise. Humour. HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.

Harry receives a peculiar present and an even more peculiar note. Silliness. Humour. DMHP. SLASH. ONESHOT.

Naruto's helping Sasuke look for love in all the wrong places. NaruSasu AU.

Draco had a plan. A very good, solid plan. Trust Potter to thwart him. Humour. Fluff. Hogwarts!fic. DMHP. SLASH. ONESHOT.

Draco must face the fact that Harry's little companions hate him. Humour. HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.

Kingsley tries to help Potter. And he succeeds. Sort of. Humour. HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.

The first time Harry Potter appeared on his doorstep, Draco was only slightly miffed. The second time, Draco was quite miffed and quite surprised. The third time, Draco was downright shocked. HPDM. SLASH. Oneshot.

Harry is cruel and Draco has had enough. He will make Harry end this. HPDM. SLASH. Oneshot.

The Weasley Twins throw a party to celebrate the creation of a new potion. This is so AU it's not even funny. This fic contains MATURE adult content.

After being stalked by a kitten, Draco discovers he has a fetish for purring. HPDM. Hogwarts!fic, EWE, a bit crack-ish, KittenAnimagus!Harry? SLASH.

Harry is an under-utilized Auror and Draco is an auditor for Gringotts. He lives to torment the Ministry and, of course, Harry Potter. He is also a Registered Animagus. This fic contains MATURE adult content.

Naruto attempts to attract the attention of the new Teaching Assistant, Uchiha Sasuke, at his university. AU, M/M, NaruSasu/SasuNaru

Because, after all, some things are so annoying that you just have to laugh at them. AU, Hidan/Temari, crack.

You can't really enjoy a party, when the one you love is dancing with some one else. NaruSasu Au. Warning: Yaoi content.

Kakuzu is a slave to bargains, Hidan likes the spice of variety, and a dingy little restaurant provides a quaint intermediate between the two. Crackfic.

On paper, their team doesn't exist.

Crackfic. An anguished Kisame found himself confessing his insecurities to Tobi, who nodded sympathetically as he trimmed the Mist-nin's split ends. Friendship. Oneshot.

When Akatsuki have to go undercover at a beauty contest, they will stop at nothing to win. Crackfic.

Shika/Tema. Temari knows what she wants and intends that Shikamaru give it to her.

Kiba finally convinces Naruto to call Sakura to tell her how he really feels. Unfortunately, it isn't who he thinks it is on the other end of the line. NaruSasuNaru YAOI, Lemon M/M

No matter how awful it was being Jessie Carmichael, Draco was willing to suffer through the horror in order to get what he really wanted. The only problem was — he didn't know what he really wanted. Cute!Draco alert. Hogwarts!fic. FLUFF. EWE. SLASH DMHP

If you read High Priced and wondered why Draco was so evil... well this might open your eyes. This is Draco's version. This fic contains MATURE adult content.

With college just a few days away, this is Sasuke's last chance to experience the one thing that life in the big city just can’t offer. Naru/Sasu Anal, Language, M/M, Oneshot, Yaoi

Who knew the library could be so educational? NaruSasu AU. Be warned: Yaoi!

I referred to this as My Stupid Veela Fic until I decided it was fairly good. Harry is a Veela, for a change, since I was tired of Draco!Veela stories. This fic contains MATURE adult content.

NaruSaiNaru. Courting rituals of the socially retarded. Or how Naruto got a clue.

SasuNaru. "It was too damn early for this." Some Fluff and Romance, because it was asked of me, lol. YAOI. Christmas fic.

She's not just for decoration. Bombshell with a bite. ONE SHOT. KankIno

Surviving the plane crash was easy. Surviving each other’s company will be a little harder. NaruSasu, AU, Yaoi

Kushina Uzumaki is insane.

The Nara doth protest too much, methinks. [ShikaTema, lime lime !lemon!]

A freak snowstorm, a delayed flight, and one moron for a stalker. It can only mean one thing: Destiny. NaruSasu AU.

Harry and Draco work at the Ministry, where Harry spends most of his time ignoring Draco. That's about to change. This fic contains MATURE adult content.

You shouldn't be over self confident with your first impressions of people. Common advice for most, but for Temari, that truth only comes through with a series of firsthand experiences. HidanTemari friendship. AU.

Modeled after the LJ 1 sentence community sentence fics see the two in my faves. ShikamaruTemari.

Shikamaru's in love with the new girl in school. The bad news is she has a boyfriend, a huge, surly boyfriend who loves to make people miserable. What's a teenage dirtbag to do? Loosely based on the song by the same name.

Written for lilith1631's Obscure Prompt War. Chapters shall continue to be added until Lilith admits that I am the winner. The champion. The commander of the universe. The chapters will have no relation to each other whatsoever.

Or, Inuzuka Kiba’s Even Longer Day. Kiba is not quite the player he thinks he is. Will there be anyone to appreciate his animal magnetism and rugged charm? [KibaEveryone ftw, NejiTen for the bonus win]

In the three days she has remaining to dispose of her target, Temari has to make a choice: stick to protocol and accomplish the mission, or sate her fascination with a certain missing Falls nin. Kakuzu x Temari.

PART THREE. Finally, the third installment of the Dirt Trilogy! Harry's revenge. This fic contains MATURE adult content.

When one ritual dies, another is born. [SasuNaruSasu] Yaoi.

[NaruSasu. Post timeskip.] How Naruto wondered about Sasuke’s sex life, how Sasuke figured out he might have manfeelings for Naruto, and then how Sasuke kicked Naruto in the face. Again.

This is my fluffy vampire fic. I hate vampire fics. I wrote this as a birthday present for ruinithil on LJ. Just giving you something to read while I grind through Escorts!

Understanding doesn't always require words, if you've been with someone long enough. [KakaIru] Yaoi.

Itachi wants to capture Naruto. Naruto wants to bring back Sasuke. Sasuke wants to kill Itachi. How do you decide who gets what they want? A game of poker. ONESHOT

Naruto has learned many things from his marriage with the Uchiha. Such as, he's a clean freak, possesive, and has ALOT of stamina... SasuNaru

Part Three of the Nervous Trilolgy. Some people were rather upset that Harry Obliviated Draco's memory at the end of Part Two... This fic contains MATURE adult content.

Sequel to Nervous, Yet? This story sort of developed a plot... how did that happen? Draco decides he isn't quite ready to let his new toy be tortured and killed... This fic contains MATURE adult content.

Sai meets the Sand siblings. Suddenly crazy nicknames are the least of team Kakashi’s worries. [TemariSai, oneshot, lime] [Someone had to write it!]

“Listen: the desert is my home, Shikamaru,” she said once, before things became serious, back when there was still room for escape.

Harry and Draco slash oneshot written for hd falling community at Livejournal for keyword: Nervous...I need a cold shower. This fic contains MATURE adult insinuations.

PART TWO. Sequel to Dirt, as requested. Ever so slashy... This fic contains MATURE adult content.

[Sandsib gen fic] Because Kankurou just had to be a jerk, something they thought they had lost for good was reborn.

Part Three in the Escort Service Trilogy. Part One was cute, Part Two was slashy steaming hot, and Part Three should be a nice combination of the two. Friends can be such a problem. This fic contains MATURE adult content.

PART ONE. Harry and Draco get dirty. And then clean. And then dirtier. This fic contains MATURE Adult content.

[SasuNaru, AU oneshot] Naruto buys a motorcycle and Sasuke is unimpressed. Until Naruto changes his mind.

[ShikaTema] Temari has a problem: she wants to marry this guy, but he happens to belong to another hidden village. Shikamaru has a problem: he wants his girlfriend in his bed, but she keeps insisting that she lives somewhere else. How to fix this?

Sasuke is having a rotten, rotten day. And like most things in life, it only gets worse before it gets better. [NaruSasu] Yaoi, exaggeration for comedic effect, one swear word.

Nobody told Tobi that out of all the calendar holidays, Valentine’s Day was the last one to be passionately celebrated in the company of seven homicidal men. Crackfic.

[yuri, InoTema] Ino's not drunk, she just wants to inform Temari about something very important.

Before Tobi can be recruited into the Akatsuki, he must face the monumental task of passing an initiation test administered by each of the other members. Here's hoping he does. Crackfic.

Part Two: The sequel to Draco's Escort Service where Draco is forced to save Harry's life with a kiss. Ever so slashy, slash, slashed... They find that being together is not as easy as they expected. This fic contains MATURE adult content.

Sometimes he absolutely hated her. Particularly when she did something unexpected. Like tonight. [Shikamaru x Temari] [One shot.]

Draco Malfoy's job is to escort travelers through territory made perilous after the war. Harry Potter is forced to hire him, but his destination isn't quite what Draco had in mind. Fluffy slash romance. This has nothing to do with Vegas style escorts!

Sasuke first had to convince Naruto they were in love, then that they were in a relationship, and finally, that they should have lots of sex. SasuNaru

Draco Malfoy, paragon of wickedness, follows Hermione Granger one day to an unused section of Hogwarts and discovers her unspeakable secret... Oh yeah, and the whole graveyard scene didn't happen. Cedric Diggory is alive. Because I said so.

[Team 10, InoShikaChou gen] It's Ino's first away mission and she has to share a tent with Shikamaru and Chouji. And she's not happy about it.

"Maybe he's angry that you made him the other woman," Sakura whispered frantically. Naruto/Sasuke.

The distance between Suna and Konoha is roughly half a thousand miles. Of course, for someone like Shikamaru, distance is relative. Shikamaru/Temari.

[InoKiba] If you asked Ino why she was with Kiba, she would tell you about the sex.

[Team Gai gen] TenTen just wants to get through her first period without any fuss. Too bad Gaisensei isn't about to let that happen.

Sakura notices something odd in the mirror, and since her mother seems hesitant to explain what's going on, she decides to find her own answers...but is she ready for the truth? First place winner in the 2006 Great Heaven and Earth Fanfiction Contest.

[KisaIta, drabble] Itachi finds nothing particularly enthralling about masturbation until Kisame starts watching him do it.

Tenten, Lee, and Neji start out like most teammates over years of teamwork, bonds are made and bonds are tested. NejiTentenLee threesome. Manga spoilers. Gift for Hashire in the naruto wishlist exchange, therefore written with her preferences in mind.

Set four years after the timeskip during Konoha’s reconstruction, when Naruto finds that it’s not only the village in need of fortification. [SasuNaruSai triangle, InoSaku on the side] Yaoi, spoilers up to chapter 337.

Gaara doesn't sleep, but it's not always Shukaku's fault. [NarutoGaara] Yaoi.

[NejiTen] Short oneshot containing a dangerous amount of fluffiness. The surgeon general recommends you brush your teeth immediately after reading.

[ShikaTema] Nothing was worth the trouble for him unless he could turn it into a game.

Hidan and Itachi have to work together to assassinate their target, and due to circumstaces beyond their control, have to crash a wedding to do so.

Meet Hidan, the religious fanatic. Meet Temari of the Sand, the no nonsense sister of Kankuro and Gaara. Watch what happens when they both happen to run into each other. Crackfic.

[A NaruIno ficlet] Ino notices Naruto. And she makes sure he notices her right back.

If Hidan ever found himself capable, he was totally going to sacrifice the Leader to his God for making him dance. Crackfic!

Ch.15 “Answering questions isn’t part of the deal,” Ibiki thumped a scroll into Sasuke’s waiting hand. “But I congratulate you on your information gathering abilities.” [SasuNaruSasu, KakaIruKaka] Romance, Humor, Action, Drama, Yaoi, Oh My.

[A NaruSasuNaru fic] 'He doesn’t know what Naruto has given up for this, but Sasuke knows exactly what he’s lost. As Naruto presses hot openmouthed kisses to Sasuke’s neck and shoulders, Sasuke makes a list of repayments in his head.'

Over the years, Shikamaru learns some things about Temari

How Naruto copes, or doesn't cope, with Sasuke's absense. [NaruSasu, NaruSai] Yaoi.

Being a genius has some downsides. ShikaTem, oneshot.

Naruto agrees to be Best Man for his two closest friends, promising to stay out of trouble. But when tempted by a gorgeous man on the guest list, he can’t ignore the suspicion that pursuing him is worth whatever trouble occurs. [NaruSasu] Yaoi, AU.

[A SasuNaru fic] Sasuke can touch Naruto, but he has to follow the rules. Warning: yaoi and dark themes.

How much do you do for someone when you're not even in love? ShikaTem, Futurefic, Oneshot.

[Shikamaru drabble, various pairings] Shikamaru, shogi, and the various playing fields of Leaf.

[NarSasu fic, yaoi] In which Sasuke is pissed off and hungry and Naruto is a pervert with odd taste in noodles.

Hinata has always been intimidated by Sasuke, but when she serves as a substitute for Sakura on a mission, she comes to learn that the stoic Uchiha is not so bad after all.

A supposed moaning ghost is plaguing Konoha and Tsunade is forced into sending a team to investigate. What they find, however, is entirely different and it just might traumatize them. [SasuNaru]

[NaruNeji] Naruto likes to watch Neji in the rain.

[crackfic, Team Seveness] How puberty defeated Team Seven.

[NarutoGaara pairing] The Kazekage has a problem and Naruto is called in to solve it.

[NaruSasu ficlet] When Sasuke can't ask for what he needs, Naruto has to try a little harder.

And sometimes he daydreamed. [SasuTen]

[Team Ten drabble] There are some things that Shikamaru can always count on. InoChouji from Shikamaru's p.o.v.

NaruSasuNaru. Cowritten with Lazuli. Naruto wakes up one morning in an unfamiliar room, in a place where the Yondaime is still alive...

Crack fic! Ever wonder why they call the information files on dangerous or criminal ninjas a Bingo Book? Well, now you know. IrukaKakashi pairing. Oneshot.

The sand siblings are stranded in Konoha during the New Year. Sometimes, gestures can be taken up the wrong way. ShikaTema oneshot.

A ripped shirt. That's all Gaara communicated with, sending one every time his siblings attempted conversation.

After finally meeting up again after 3 years, Shino is irritated and Hinata is dismayed to find Kiba avoiding her like the plague, for reasons beyond anything she could have possibly imagined.

Although he never gave any indication of caring, Gaara always observed and learned from the delicate and confusing relationship Kankuro and Temari shared.

Among other things besides threatening, killing, and maiming, Gaara loves hugs.

[ONESHOT] He needed more than the Byakugan to understand what she wanted. NejiIno.

Sasuke is tired of Naruto's constant chattering so he demands Naruto to shut up. And Naruto did just that. SasuNaru. Oneshot.

Shikamaru was a patient guy in nature, which is why he wasn't peeling her clothes away as the impulses came. He hoped he would have the good sense to save that for later. ShikamaruTemari. Well paced one shot. Making out hardcore.

Neji is feeling deprived. Lee isn't helping. Tenten, however, is just plain confused.

When Shikamaru accepts Temari's offer and agrees to spend a few days at the Suna family's household, brothers Gaara and Kankuro decide to have a little chat with their guest.

Still in the days when Team 7 carried out missions with Kakashi, and wind up on assignment to deliver the first and LAST car of Konoha's history with a particular quirky copynin driving. The reason why Konoha has no cars? Blame Kakashi.

Every time he looked at her, she changed. [NejiTen]

It's a late night at the Sabaku household, and Shukaku decides that he has a few demands he wants met. The story of how Gaara got his first piercing, and how Temari and Kankuro were forced to be the cosmetologists to do it.

Funny how it’ll take moments of paralyzing terror, missing coffee beans, and Hasbro games to make Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro realize how much they love each other, ne? Ch.2: Kankuro explains porn to Gaara and sibling love is realized.

Temari questions her importance and whether her brothers need her, but she soon realizes she has her reasons to stay. And apparently...being there to cut Gaara's hair is one of them.

The hardest person to accept is the one staring at you in the mirror.