I write fanfics, when I can, in practice for the day I make that daring leap into writing down my own ideas instead of using a springboard. Hope you like my style.

Enjoy.

P.S. Check out SonicChick. She's my sister. It will do wonders for her self-esteem. so, please, read her fics, if only to end the endless whining.

Fair Warning: I am done with chaining myself to a few stories and putting all my ideas on hold. From now on, i write what i want when i want, and anyone that complains about the time between updates can go fk themselves. Have patience, and i'll update one in a geological epoch, if i have the time. Thank you in advance for understanding (if you don't, screw you!)

A white man said "No colored people allowed here."
And the black man said. "When I was born I was black,
when I grew up I was black,
when I'm sick I'm black,
when I go out in the sun I'm black,
when I'm cold I'm black,
when I die I'll be black,
but you...
When you were born you were pink,
when you grew up you were white,
when you're sick you're green,
when you go out in the sun you turn red,
when you're cold you're blue,
and when you die you'll be purple
and you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man sat down and the white man walked away

Today, we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the Millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools; hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in from rain, the early bird gets the worm and life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language and new math.

But his health declined when he became infected with the "if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal legislation.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies; when reports were heard of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; when a teen was suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch; when a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but couldn't inform the parent when a female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags.

Finally, when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed his last.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. His three stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Author Unknown

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch..
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm JAMAICAN, so I must smoke weed.
I CRY, so I must have EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I take ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.
I DON'T TALK IN CLASS, so I must be ANTISOCIAL.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention..
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.
I have GERMAN HERITAGE, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I live in the USA, so I must be LAZY.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I live in FLORIDA, so I MUST look hot.
I don't like the SUN, so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear TIGHT PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

The ones that describe me are bold!
Repost this if you believe stereotyping is wrong, or merely repost the ones that apply to you.

The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."