Hi, anyone who reads this!

Name: Jess

Gender: Female

Age: no idea

Occupation in life so far: A hard working student ... Look at that Oxymoron

I've been on this place for ages but just recently got an account 'cos I'm an idiot like that.

THe email has been added but please don't spam me cos you'll just be deleted.

I also watch Yu-gi-oh abridged; its hilarious

You are a Badass Uke!

Other uke admire you, some seme fear you. Despite your sometimes flaming appearance, you can even fool other people into thinking you are seme with your mischievous, manipulative attitude, but when push comes to shove, your true submissive nature emerges. It takes a seme with enough intensity to challenge you and keep you satisfied, and your perfect match, the Don't Fuck With Me Seme, knows that all that naughty teasing just means you want the punishment.

Most compatible with: Don't Fuck With Me Seme, Chibi Seme
Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Romantic Seme

Anyway now over to some things I have stolen for somebody else you know who you are ;)

" Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that would be called cannibalism, and that is indeed frowned upon in many societies" -Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.

This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top.

Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.

Sarcastic comments!!

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

An apple a-day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS PUSHED!!

Out of my mind- back in 5 mins

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what your up too

Never drink water-if it can rust iron, just imagine what it can do to your stomach

I don’t mind if you sleep in class, but please do not snore, you are disrupting those who are sleeping

If nobody’s perfect I must be nobody

Remember there is no I in team, but there is an M and an E

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown

"Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

"When all else fails blow shit up."

"A good friend picks you up when you fall; a best friend picks you up and then trips you again."

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell saying “Damn that was fun, let's do it again!”

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say 'It's because you're gay isn't it?'

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook

"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people"

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I used to be indicisive, now I'm not sure

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

"Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!"-Calvin and Hobbes

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is Wrong.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'm so gangster, I carry a water gun.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked, or homeless?

Don't You trust me? - If I did do you really think I'd tell you!

It's not my fault!- I didn't say it was your fault just said i was going to blame you

Did you put the cat out?- I didn't know it was on fire?

Wanna go back to my place?- I don't know can two people fit under a rock?

Do you know who i am?- Unless you've got a gun, i can't see myself giving a shit.

Hard work never killed anyone - No ,but why take unnecessary risks?

The union says thinking rolls me into overtime- From One of the nightlife books absolutly amazing but no-ones heard of them

Do you like cats? - Yeah but I don't think i could eat a whole one!

Do i know you? - Yep I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic

Bond. James Bond - Oh I'm Lost. Get Lost

Do you believe in the bible?- Yeah, sure I saw a copy just the other day

Just because I'm blond doesn't mean I'm stupid - Yeah, I know my golden retriever is pretty smart too

Are you looking for a fight?- Sure. Why don't you practice falling down till I get there.

Did you just spill my pint?- Well i figured that since your brain cells are in single figures, you can't afford to lose anymore

16 THINGS TO DO AT A SUPER STORE

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

If you support gay marriage and want to show it, paste this into your profile.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Post this in your profile if you believe Homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.