ABOUT ME:

16-year-old with an addiction for sci-fi, anime, ninjas, magic, and the non-existent. Very ADHD and random. I love to read, and really enjoy writing.

Grade: Currently a high school junior

Warnings: I am the worst updater ever and I apologize. I never have time, or I forget, and I'm so sorry. But anyway, I have new ideas and this time I actually plan to post chapters as I write them (I promise) no matter how much school work is due the next day.

Characters I've kidnapped: For Maximum Ride stuffs, I have Fang and Iggy. For Naruto stuffs, I use various characters since I couldn't decide.

Update: I'm not sure how much MR stuff I'll post (even though I have 5 notebooks of untyped stories and oneshots at my house), but I will be post my Naruto stuff as much as possible.

Requests: (see below; all italicized words are part of the same request)

REQUEST: Shinobi needed. If you want to be a character, let me know. I need ninjas for the Village of Fanfiction. Various positions are open and need to be filled. You can be a ninja, civilian, subordinate of the otakukage, ice cream vedor, assassain, or pretty much anything else you can think of. Also, if you want to be a character that gets killed off, that's fine too. I just need people to live in the village.

QUALIFICATIONS: I guess you have to be alive, and you have to leave a review or PM so I'll be able to use you. And to do that I think you have to have an account. (I do allow anonymous reveiws, so all you have to do is leave a review with yout first name and last initial, plus the information below. I love all of you, even you non-members.)

INFO NEEDED: Name (the one you prefer in the story, maybe with a Japanese last name if possible), age (whatever age you prefer to be), abilities (if any), preferred position, background, personality, family (NO YOU CAN'T BE DIRECTLY RELATED TO ANY Naruto CHARACTERS, THOUGH YOU MAY BE FROM THE SAME CLAN), kekkai genkai (if any), special tools, looks/appearance/clothing, and (if you love me and want to make my life easier) a picture/drawing/sketch of your character for reference. If you want to be killed off, I need to know how you want to die. Any other info would be great too.

FORBIDDEN: Any unoriginality such as jinchurikis, kids with awful/horrible/depressing/dark/pain-filled/cliche-rific pasts, direct family members of Naruto characters, and anything else canon. Try to be original, my darlings.

WARNING: I can't promise how often you'll be mentioned. Finally: I WILL NOT BE PAYING YOU. So don't expect money. Just the satisfaction of being in a story. And maybe some metaphorical cookies.

From here on is just random stuff that you really have no need of reading, but I put it there anyway just to waste your time. So read it if you want, and then keep in mind that I won because you read it.

"Try Not To Cry"

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I EVER READ:

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no freaking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the heck can't Paper do this to Scissors? Screw Scissors, why can't Paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because Paper can't beat anybody, a Rock would tear that crap up in 2 seconds. When I play Rock/ Paper/ Scissors, I always choose Rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their Paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, 'Oh shoot, I'm sorry, I thought Paper would protect you, you moron'."

Quotes, Comments, and Other Randomness:

"I used to sound like Justin Beiber...then I turned 5."-My friend Liz's new favorite quote.

"Pikachu! I choose you!" -Me and my idiot friends (--jk, I love them--) at Walmart, throwing bouncy balls down the aisles

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

If you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

If two wrongs dont make a right, try three.

Apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. it's either my mum or dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Colin.

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

"If you were waiting for the oppertune moment, that was it." -Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Carribean

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

"Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs." -My best friend Haley

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

"I don't obsess! I think intensely."

If you are against Animal Abuse add your name to the list and add it to your profile or site. RogueWarrior869,BlackWolfHowling, Bubble Blower, roughdiamond5, Green.Winged.Mistress, Serenity.Jones, MJ.Ride

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Whoever said anything's possible, never tried slamming a revolving door."

"One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

'You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor."

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves washed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.

"Do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking!", "You can eat the grass?"
"Of course you can! Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." -Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

And Carlile said, "Let there be Edward," and it was good.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

Don’t mess with me! I've got a stick!

He said I love you. I laughed and said, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit."

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!

"Me, I'm dishonest. And you can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest. Honestly. But it's the honest ones you have to look out for, because they're the ones who will always do something stupid."-Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, in Pirates of the Caribbean

"Rose! You're so stupid!-kisses Rose-"-Jack in Titanic

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

When people ask you the time, why do they always point to their wrists? That's usually where I wear my watch, I didn't need you to point it out for me...

"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang-MR-AE

"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge-MaximumRide-SOF

"Rowr!" -Fang-MaximumRide-SOF

"She offered to cook breakfast."-Fang-MR-SOF

"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" ~Max-MR-StWaOES

Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes" ~Max and Jeb-MR-Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports.

You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers! ~Fang-MR-SOF

"I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?" Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much. -Total and Max-MAX

Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. -Max-MAX

"What's your name?" "Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild." -Angel answering Steve-MAX

"I'm only a kid! I can't get married!" "You could in New Hampshire." -Max and Angel-MAX (Interesting to me because I'm from New England. And yes, technically they could get married, but they need parental permission. Yeah...Fang: Dr. M? I'd like to marry Max. Dr. M: -pulls out chainsaw-)

"South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas. You like llamas." -Max-MAX

"Optimism is overrated, Max. Its better to face realitly head-on." -The Voice-SOF

"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-AE

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-STWAOES

"Have you guys been playing in the toxic waste again? Been bitten by a radioactive spider? Struck by lightning? Drink a super-soldier serum?" -Fang-FW

"Your middle name is 'Charging Off.'" -Total-MAX

"I choose you, Max" Fang-MAX (This quote makes me laugh. Why? Because I keep picturing Fang throwing a Pokeball and having Max pop out of it. Pokemon ruined my brain as a child...)

"Fang could turn men gay, but he wouldn't be gay with them. It's like a hit and run thing." -Ok, stole this from EdwardAddict. So sorry, but it was the funniest quote I've ever heard!! :-)

"I believe misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat."
-Dumbledore-HP

"I want to fix that in my memory forever, Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."-Ron-HP-GoF

"We could be killed, or worse, expelled." -Hermione Granger in first movie. Can't remember if it was in the book.

"So, people, let's try to calm down a bit. Things are bad enough without inventing stuff as well. For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That's a Basilisk, listeners. One simple test: check whether the thing thats glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it's safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that's still likely to be the last thing you ever do." -Fred Weasly- Deathly Hallows

"Oh joyous happiness of contentment."-St. Fang of Boredom

"Who wrote it? Why, my man, Jimmy P." -Saint, using her new nickname for James Patterson, Jimmy P.

"LET MY PEOPLE GO!!" -What Affie (Saint's aunt) yells when she's stuck in traffic.

"Hum, pocky, pocky, pocky, DEAD PIÑATA, DEAD PIÑATA!!" -SparxFlame, who is awesomely funny.

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada and stuff." -Britney Spears

"It's alright to be crazy, just don't let it drive you nuts!" -The Great Jimmy Buffett

"DOOMED! They're all doomed. Notice I didn't say what kind of doom it was, so whatever happens to them, I will have predicted it.
How very wise of me" - Angela - Eragon

"That story is so funny, it's not funny! Wait, what did I just say?" -St. Fang

"And I'm his Doctor! Therapist! Boss! Slave-Master! Thing!" -St. Fang in A Day in Therapy

"FINE!" Fang yelled, storming towards the woods. "FINE!" Iggy yelled, storming back into the house and closing the door. Fang was almost to the woods, when he stopped, realization crossing his face. "Wait, I just got kicked out of my own house!" -Fang and Iggy

"Night Quills!" He started laughing again. "Hey, Max, you and me and the cops should go yelling and see if we can wake up the Flock before the neighbors show up. Bring Spiffy and Pooky!" -Fang from Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu (He's on NyQuil.)

Customer: Can you tell me where the produce section is? Fang: -shrugs- Customer: Can you tell me where the bathrooms are? Fang: -shrugs- Customer: Can you tell me anything? Fang: -shrugs- -Fang and a Wal-Mart customer in Job Listings

Don't do drugs, kids! Give hugs! This message has been brought to you by The National Republic of Canadia, Rice Crispies, and the letter Ñ. -Me, trying to raise money for the budget for Maximum Star Wars: Episode IV

I liked the one with the black wings, though. He was cute. I wanted to take him home and cuddle him. And feed him blackberries. I like blackberries. I would name him Fuzzles 'cause he looked like a Fuzzles. I decided to ask Gerald about it later. -Gozen from Gozen and the Feather Kids

"Fang, who do you think is spying on us?" "Many kinds of people." Oh, how prophetic. "Like?" "Samurai." Houston, I think we've found the problem. -Fang and Max in Ninja Fang.

"... I don't like when juice wears tights, its a horrible combination when juce wears tights ..." -Dane Cook

"My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil." -Don't know who said it, but I love it!

“I HATE YOU LIKE A FLYBOY BREAKING INTO CHURCH ON A SUNDAY MORNIN'!” -Fang in Bellagail's Fangy Loves Joo St Fang of Boredom!

"Not to worry, we're still flying half a ship." Obi-Wan Kenobi - Star Wars Episode lll

"Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!" "Apparantly not" Obi-Wan and Anakin - Star Wars Episode lll

"I was begining to wonder if you even got my message" "We retransmitted it to Coruscant, just as you requested, Master. Then we decided to come rescue you" (looks up at chains) "Good job!" Obi-Wan and Anakin - Star Wars Episode ll

"You call this a diplomatic solution?" "No. I call it agressive negotiations." Anakin and Padme - Star Wars Episode ll

"But a quest to..." Grover swallowed. "I mean, couldn't the master bolt be in some place like Maine? Maine's very nice this time of year." -Grover - Percy Jackson, The Lightening Thief.

"I thought it would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles." -Chiron -Percy Jackson, The Lightening Thief.

"We're orphans." "Orphans? But, my dears! Surely not!" "We got seperated from our caravan, our circus caravan. The ringmaster told us to meet him at the gas station if we got lost, but he may have forgotten, or maybe he meant a different gas station. Anyway, we're lost. Is that food I smell?" -Percy and Medusa -Percy Jackson, The Lightening Thief.

"I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck." "How lucky can they be? They're dead!" -Mulan's mom and grandmom -Mulan

“Hell. On. Earth,” Iggy snapped. “A ninety-year old lady verbally assaulted me and the cart wouldn’t stop squeaking. I need to blow something up. Excuse me.” He stalked off. -Iggy in BlueWingedKitty's Co Ed Shopping.

"Krill yum yum yum!" -Bell, a.k.a. Aleria14. Believe in the yumness of krill!

"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." -Ronald Reagan

"Dear Diary, Do you have any idea what it's like to be a wanted criminal? (Don’t answer that question. I really don’t want this diary to end up like Ginny Weasley’s, since it tried to kill her.)" -Fang in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.

“You assaulted an un-armed teenager, you snuck out in the middle of the night, and you, you…I don’t know what else you did but I bet it has something to do with why the national debt is so high!” -An angry Max to Fang in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.

“I never noticed. You have a nice chest.” Well, then. Hot damn, that’s a way to change the mood. “I could say the same about you, but that’d be sexual harassment.” Max and Fang in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.

"I was sitting in my room, contemplating on whether or not to read New Moon, the second part of the ‘Twilight saga’. (How is it a saga? Lord of the Rings – now that’s a saga, with intense battle scenes, powerful characters and an epic plot. But a girl falling in love with a vampire… that’s a series, not a saga. Learn the difference, young grasshopper.)" -A very true quote by Fang in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.

“But you can’t buy happiness,” I said. “That’s not necessarily true,” Iggy interrupted. “I once met a very nice stripper named Happiness.” -Fang and Iggy in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.

Then, he said loudly, “How about you give me a blow?” But Max didn’t miss a beat. “Sorry,” she said. “I choke on small objects.” -The 'Creepy Pedophile Guy' and Max in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.

Wham! “GO TO HELL.” Bam! “NEVER TOUCH HER AGAIN.” Slam! “YOU’RE CREEPIER THAN EDWARD.” -Fang beating up a pedophile in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.

Hey ppl, did ya notice that if you put the first letter of the flocks name in a certain order (Iggy, Max, Fang, Angel, Nudge, and Gazzy) you get the word... I-M F-A-N-G. How awesometastical is that? -Found that on someone's profile. Awesome.

"I hate you with the fiery passion of an angered mango!" -Vera, often.

"Canadians must have invented Pig Latin." "Why do you say that?" "Everything in that language ends in 'eh'!" -Jessica to Saint one day.

"Damn you, money, and your necessaryness..."-St. Fang of Boredom