Name: Unimportant

Age: Enough

Interests: Reading, Gaming, Writing, Dating

Opinion: I have one, and i won't refrain from telling you.

Inspiration: Mister P, Ability King KK.

I enjoy doing things and stuff. I also like talking to people. Feel free to PM me, i would love to talk.

Well, now that you have that ALL information, time to bore you with a bunch of things you don't care out.

MY OPINIONS

Reviews vs PMs

IMO, I believe reviews and PMs are two different interfaces entirely. I believe that reviews are the readers' safety of stating their opinion without fear of retribution. People should be able to tell you what they think without fear of the writer being insulted. But that doesn't give reviews the right to be rude. So, writers, take it all in stride, and reviewers, say what you will, but don't be mean. Because of this outlook, i don't respond to reviews. I read everyone of them, but i don't think i have the right to question someones opinion. which brings me to my next point: PMs. If you want to talk to me, PMs are the way to do it. If you have a question or just want to talk about stuff, send me one. but unlike reviews, if you say something, I will respond with the appropriate amount of...appropriateness. So, recap: Want to give your opinion, reviews are for you. Want to talk to me, and I would love that, send me a PM.

Pairings

IMO, Favorite pairings:

1. AshxAnabel
2. AshxZoey
3. AshxDawn

These are my top three Ash pairings. Some may say that I need to stick with only one pairing, but I think that, with all the possibilities, I have the right to do multiple pairings. That doesn't mean I support harems; I wouldn't do that in a fic (that doesn't mean I won't use jealousy, I just will only have Ash fall for one of them). Now...why? Well I'm glad you asked. Abilityshipping is a giveaway, but maybe you want some more exposition. Well, when i first saw this shipping, i fell in love with it. I just think Ash and Anabel would be good together (plus i'm a sucker for tomboys). And with the obvious confession by Anabel, it's pretty much being handed away. Next, we have Fireredshipping. Now, when I say Zoey the first time, i didn't think much of it. but as time went on she grew on me. then when i found the shipping, i added it to my list of favorites (curse you, tomboys). And finally, Pearlshipping...LOLICON...that is all. (I think its cute OKAY so sue me).

Least favorite pairings:

1. Yaoi
2. AshxMisty
3. DawnxPaul

I just...don't like them...

Pretty everything else i can tolerate. except for those, i can read almost anything.

More IMOs to come, when i think of more

WRITTEN WORKS

Current/Completed

An Adventure Again
My first Fanfiction. It has been lots of fun writing it so far, and i look forward to posting the next chapter, coming soon. I don't want to say too much about it until i finish it, so this section is TBCAALD

A Night at the Old Château. it was sort of a last minute thing i thought of. i liked the pairing and the fear of Ghosts was easy to play off of. i thought it went well as a one shot.

Future works (TP-title pending). A list of works i plan to write after AAA, in no particular order. i haven't decided which to write first, so if you have an opinion as to which one you like the best, feel free to PM me. oh and they are all AU.

TP-Gary Oak was just a normal college student. He had gone through life as an ordinary kid with ordinary friends. that is, until one night, his whole life is changed. now, he has to take on the job of a detective and go around hunting murderers. How did this come to be anyway?

TP-Some say life is too short lived. Thats what Ash said when he ended up in Limbo. But when he was given a second chance, things aren't at all the same. stuck in the body of a Pokemon, he has to find a way to return to his original life, before it's too late.

TP-Dawn liked the idea of Boarding School. That is, until she learned it had nothing to do skateboards. Not only that, she learns that she HAS to join a club. Whats even worse, all the school music groups were nothing but a bunch of classical groups. trying to find some kind of outlet, she stars a club of her own. Now all she needs is members. (inspired slightly by K-On)

TP-Dawn's life was nothing but average. She wasn't popular. Only two people even ever talked to her. So when she was offered super powers, she didn't give it a second thought. (a little like Tokyo Mew Mew (very little)). Magical Girl, based on Pokemon.

More to come, when i feel like it

AbilityShipping

All the Abilityshippers have something like this so i thought i would make one too. Now, after reading about my future works, you may be wondering 'Hey are you giving up on Abilityshipping?' the answer is no. i'll get into it more in a bit, but i just want to get that out right now. Okay, my reasons for picking abilityshipping to write about. Liking a shipping and writing about it are two different things. but, i have to say, that after reading anyone else's reasons you may think mine are a little selfish. Everywhere on Fanfiction.net i see people getting popular and tons of reviews, just because they picked a really cliche pairing. i myself am against cliche things. i wanted to write a fic that would get long time readers from not being just another cliche pairing. if i could get people's attention from something that people didn't really notice much, i could say i was at least a decent writer. now, no i have some people who read just cause it's abilityshipping, but for the most part, a lot of people like the story. i was using fanfiction.net to better my own writing skills. which brings me to the topic of the future works section. now, i may or mayn't have a sequel planed for AAA. you'll just have to wait and find out. but as for the other works i want to write, they are mostly for my own benefit. i want to expand my palette. i want to branch out and write different scenarios like mystery, comfort/angst, music, and super hero. i hope you can understand.

My opinion of Mister P's fabulous fanfiction, From Servant to Stardom. well, i think that fanfic started out absolutely fantastic. but, as it progessed, it turned less into 'Ash becomes Frontier Brain' and more into 'Ash battles EVERYONE, and then goes off to save the world'. also, there was less and less abilityshipping as the story went on. it started out at Ash and Anabel making a good couple, and turned into Ash does stuff...oh, and Anabel's there. just my opinion, and you are free to have your own, but don't judge mine just because you disagree.

Humorous things I found on the Internet

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

FUNNY THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR

1. When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Reason the human race has evolved thus far.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
2. Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
11. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
12. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
13. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
14. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
15. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
16. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
17. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
18. Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
19. Try to start a wave.
20. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
21. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
22. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
23. Sing with the theme music.
24. Bring and use your own air freshener.
25. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
26. Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
27. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
28. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
29. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
30. Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
31. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
32. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
33. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
34. Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
35. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
36. Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
37. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
38. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
39. Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
40. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
41. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
42. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
43. Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
44. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
45. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
46. Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
47. Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
48. Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.
49. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
50. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
51. Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
52. Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and
6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a
little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait
for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you
have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever

IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

Join the army, travel the world, meet interesting people, kill them

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That which does not kill me, had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

I'm not as dumb as you look

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

If genius is 1 inspiration and 99 perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.

I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.

It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows.

No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.

Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.

Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.

When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.

When all else fails, use duct tape.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon."

"What's behind this door? -opens it- ...another door. Hilarious."

"There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt."
"So what do the other 59 of them do? Tickle?"

They locked you in? "No, I locked THEM out! Why must you always see these things backwards?"

I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter.

I'm not good at empathy, will you settle for sarcasm?

Earth is full. Go home.

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid.

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

"Never memorize something that you can look up."— Albert Einstein

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Oh it was just me... trying to practice my... Evil laughter?
Sister/brother Fix: Lock your sister/brother in a dungeon, and then present her/him as a prisoner of war to your parents. Make sure to announce her/him as a traitor.
Love is like a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath it. Soon at night the ice weasels come out... yep, your doomed for all eternity...
You laugh now, but will you be laughing when I crawl out from under your bed?
When I can't sleep, I count the buckles on my straight jacket...
Star Wars is like duct tape, it has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together!
Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs.
Quit shaking my yogurt, you'll make it turn evil!You injured my salad bowl, oh how cruel can a person be?
If I don't come out with my hands up, I'm coming in after me!
Last night I was looking up at the stars wondering... WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING?
The word "politics" is derived from the word "poli", meaning "many", and "tics", meaning "small, blood-sucking parasites".
You laugh at me because I’m crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder!
Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that it doesn't matter. You're a mile away from him and you got his shoes!
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Life is short. Read fast.
I didn't lose my mind - I sold it on E-Bay!
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
I'm a palm reader: Gasp! You're going to die! But don't worry, you'll live through it.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words...
Never judge a book by it's movie.
Clean laundry helps the confidence level, which helps the self-image, which helps you... umm... win games, which makes you rich, which leads to greed, which leads to more money! Which causes immense spending, which then triggers high anxiety, which causes a heart attack at the age of 31 and puts you in a coma for 10 years while you lose all your money and start at the beginning again!
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma!
"Some people say I have A.D.D I don't ha-OH LOOK A CHICKEN!"
Sure there have been injuries and deaths - but none of them serious.

Careful, or you'll end up in my novel.
The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.
All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day.
"Do not pity the dead, pity the living, and above all, those who live without cookies!"
"Aang, Fufu-cuddly-poops. Fufu-cuddly-poops, Aang" - Sokka, from Avatar: The Last Airbender."Don't make me get the flying monkeys"- The Wicked Witch of the West.
There are 10 kinds of people, Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research."- Albert Einstein.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.
You say physco like it's a bad thing... XD
They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?
When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
"Oh look, a mushroom! Maybe it's friendly!" - Sokka, from Avatar: The Last Airbender.Does the noise in my head bother you?
There are something in life that money can't buy, for everything else, there's theft and murder.
Guys don't fall for me; I trip them.
Shhhhh... I'm plotting.
Please note: Christmas is canceled. Apparently you told Santa you had been good this year. He died laughing.
Be optimistic. All the people you hate are eventually going to die.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

|'.'|# I got you this waffle

|'#'

|'~'

|'.'|O Have a pancake instead

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ~Fred Allen

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. ~H.L. Mencken

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. ~Author Unknown

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ~Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't. ~Author Unknown

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. ~John Kenneth Galbraith, Money: Whence It Came, Where It Went

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles Schulz

All generalizations are bad. ~R.H. Grenier

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe, performed by Lily Tomlin

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away. ~Tom Waits, Small Change

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission? ~Nigel Rees

If you teach your children nothing else, teach them the Golden Rule and "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey." ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. ~Elayne Boosler

Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. ~George Ade

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. ~William Castle

If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me. ~Song title by Jimmy Buffet

Man was predestined to have free will. ~Hal Lee Luyah

Maybe this world is another planet's hell. ~Aldous Huxley

Murphy was an optimist. ~O'Toole's Commentary

The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good. ~Robert Graves

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. ~Douglas Adams

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Today is the last day of some of your life. ~Author Unknown

Without geography, you're nowhere. ~Author Unknown

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. ~Author Unknown

You can't have everything... where would you put it? ~Steven Wright

He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed. ~Harry Kalas, on Garry Maddox, 1981

He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs. ~Torvald Gahlin

I plan on living forever. So far, so good. ~Author Unknown

Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter. ~Author Unknown

As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around. ~Robert Brault,www.robertbrault.com

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants. ~Dave Beard

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. ~Jerry Seinfeld

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house. ~Woody Allen

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes. ~Douglas Adams

And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!" ~Author Unknown

May those who love us love us,
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.
~Irish Prayer

When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. ~Author Unknown

The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg. ~Author Unknown

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ~Author Unknown

A great name for a new country song: If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now. ~Author Unknown

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. ~Rita Mae Brown

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him. ~Sir Winston Churchill

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. ~Author Unknown

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes. ~Author Unknown

How do the angels get to sleep when the devil leaves the porch light on? ~Tom Waits, "Mr Siegal," Heartattack and Vine

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. ~Carl Zwanzig

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. ~Evan Esar

There are truths of which I have an inkling, but of most I have only a penciling. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. ~Fred Allen

Resolve is never stronger than in the morning after the night it was never weaker. ~From the movie Naked

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. ~Colin Sautar

Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. ~Author Unknown

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. ~Author Unknown

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. ~Mae West

If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. ~Elbert Hubbard

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ~Author Unknown

She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand. ~Saul Bellow

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. ~Mark Twain

Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen. ~Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. ~Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. ~Albert Einstein

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! ~Sandra J. Dykes

I climbed up the door, and opened the stairs;
I said my pajamas and put on my pray'rs,
I turned off the bed and crawled into the light
And all because you kissed me goodnight.

That's all for now. See you later.