Name: Nightmare (NM).

Age: 17.

Likes: Anime, books, games, quiet, cats. Just your typical nerd. ;)

Dislikes: Anything cliche, loud sounds, crowds.

I'm not really that great at spelling or making my words flow smoothly yet, but i'm getting there. I can take criticism, but only if it's actually constructive. If I think it's flaming, it will be ignored. I wish to some day be a writer, so any tips are welcome! I am a young writer, so I will make mistakes, but if you're paitent with me, i'll improve over time. :)

My charaters are... not mary-sues. I certainly hope not anyway. I try to make them as anti-sue as possible without making them into a... well... anti-sue. What i'm saying is that I try to make well balanced characters that are neither over powered or boring. If you feel they are getting too mary-sueish, please inform me so I may swing them back around to a ORIGINAL character. There is nothing I hate more then reading about mary-sues, and i'm sure you are all the same...

Funny or Random Sayings:

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

You laugh now, but will you be laughing when I crawl out from under your bed?

Smile. People wonder what you're up to.

I'm not insane. I take medication for a CHEMICAL IMBALANCE.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I run into walls.

Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Why get high when there are so many other ways to achieve a smug sense of superiority? Sarcasm: My anti-drug.

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

I trip UP the stairs.

Remember, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother fucker across the face. Pass it on.

Procrastinators UNITE!!... Tomorrow...

Your planet called, they want their idiot back.

When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "You had to be there," thing. I think of it as a "You have to be clinically insane like us," thing.

I'm not so great at the advice...Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment??

National Sarcasm Society...Like We Need Your Support.

Whoever said the nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Get real. If I'm lying wouldn't my pants be on fire?

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marsh mellows which are kinda like the same thing.

Feel better so I can guiltlessly make fun of you again.

It's not easy being me, but it's funny watching you try.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

I'm not always a dork. Sometimes I'm asleep.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

It doesn't count if you don't get caught.

There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but who really wants to date a fish??

I'm great in bed, I can sleep for days.

That's the problem with today. You never know if someone's crazy or if they have one of those phone headset things on.

Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Yes, I am insane, but every now and then I have these horrible periods of boredom where I have to be normal like you.

I know I came into this room for a reason...

We're all going to die...but I got a helmet.

Heavily medicated for your safety.

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

I know Kung-Fu, Karate, Tai Kwon Do and 47 other dangerous words.

I have discovered that I often visit the state of confusion and I know my way around pretty well.

My day isn't complete until I have freaked out a complete stranger.

People are like slinkies: completely useless but so entertaining to watch fall down the stairs.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I just can't get my head that far up my ass.

Lord, grant my the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to bury the bodies of all the people I've killed because they pissed me off.

A: It's time for plan B.

B: We have a plan B?

A: No, but it's time for one.

A2: Alright then, do you have a plan of escape?

B2: Run.

A2: Anything more detailed??

B2: Run quickly.

Wow, that was the most amazing awkward silence ever.

In the beginning there was nothing but God, and it was dark, so God said, "Let there be light!" and there was light. There was still nothing, but at least everyone could see.

I don't think you act stupid. I think its the real deal.

No, I'm an angel honest. The horns are just there to keep my halo strait.

I'm not ignoring you...You're just insignificant.

Do one brave thing today...Then run like hell!!

They don't know we know they know we know.

My friends are the type of people that would spend hours trying to drown a gold fish...but I love 'em anyway.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Nothing's more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

Don't follow me. I'm lost, too.

You're just jealous 'cause the voices only talk to me.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them??

I'm not a bitch. I just don't like you.

The whole world wants what I'm on.

Jesus may love you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

I have not yet even begun to procrastinate.

Homework is not an option. My bed is sending out serious nap waves. I can't help myself.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask them where they're goin' and hook up with them later.

Never piss off a monkey with a sword.

I don't know what my problem is, but I do know its hard to pronounce.

I'm smiling because they haven't found the bodies yet.

I'm not short. I'm just unusually not tall.

Cheers to another awkward moment!!

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Last night I was laying in bed with my friend and I asked her, "What do you see when you look at the stars?" She said, " I see a universe just waiting to be discovered. I see the beauty of nature at work. What do you see?" I said," I see that someone tore off my roof."

It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I choose to accept.

Do you remember when Pluto was a planet?? Yeah, those were the days...

If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.

A friend would lend you her umbrella in the rain, but a best friend would take yours and say, "Run, bitch, run!!"

Tell your pants that its not polite to point.

If you can't laugh at yourself, I'd be happy to do it for you.

The pen is mightier than the sword; no-one expects you to attack them with a pen.

The early bird gets the worm, but the one that sleeps late gets the pancake brunch at the local diner.

Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it, but it's highly unlikely that they'll notice.

I didn't forget your birthday...I just didn't remember on time.

One of life's many mysteries is why a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 pounds.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day...Tomorrow is not looking so good for you either.

There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither of them work.

No matter what happens, we have each other. If we can overcome that handicap then we can overcome anything.

If you're not my enemy, you're collateral damage.

Dieing is for people who have morals.

World peace cannot be attained until everyone one Earth is dead.

Life is a race. I'll give you a head start...

Falling down is easy, its the getting up part that's hard.

He who allows his eyes to wander shall soon loose them.

Fear is like air; empty, everywhere and difficult to be rid of.

Knowledge is power, but stupidity is easier to come by.

Why is common sense so uncommon?

Nightmare out...