I'm 15, lived in london my whole life and i'm a born and bred cockney.

The three most important words in the universe are: DOCTOR WHO RULES!!!!

Things I love

-Sherlock!

-Benedict Cumberbatch (Sexy ginger!)

-Doctor Who (obviously)

-Matt Smith and Karen Gillan (can someone tell them they're made for each other? then we can all get on with our lives)

-11th Doctor and Amy (why does Rory have to keep coming back alive? you'd think after being killed again and again he'd get the message.)

-Torchwood (AHHHHHHH!!! IT'S SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!)

-Danny Phantom (I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!)

-The Legend Of Spyro games (this is the second most important thing in the world, Doctor Who being the first)

-The Catherine Tate Show (The very best of the British!) :D

-Harry Potter! (Greatest british films ever!)

-Pie, mash and liquor (This is what every cockney is brought up on. the best food in the world)

You know your British when

-You were British before being British was cool

-You have a barbecue in october

-You watch 'Only Fools And Horses' and understand it

-You eat chip butties

-You have at least one person in you class who acts like Lauren Cooper

-American remarks of British shows are automaticaly shit

-Two days of sunny weather during autumn is considered newsworthy

- Stephen Fry can do no wrong (EVER!!!!)

-It's sunny in october, not july

-You know the carphone werehouse as the crap-phone werehouse

-You call your best friend a 'china plate'

-You can't pronounce the word 'badass'

-You rob poundland

-Your born with the talent of knowing how long a biscuit needs to be kept in tea

-You ain't even bovvered!!!!

-Dell Boy fell though the bar

-You say 'Bugger that'

-It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring!

-whatever your having for pudding, it's likely to involve custard

-You can imitate barbra windsor saying 'Get outa my pub!'

-you think haribo made a wrong move by getting rid of the 'look into my eyes' girl

-you can proudly say 'what a fucking liberty!'

-'it's nice to see you, to see you nice!'

-you've perfected the art of pidgeon dodgeing

-someone bumps into you and you both apologise

-you have a panic attack when you unexpectedly run out of teabags

-'thank you, thank you, for, selling walls. Thank you, thank you, for the, sausage rolls!'

-Doctor Who, Torchwood and Harry Potter make you proud

-the biggest debate at school is how to pronounce the word 'scone'

-'your mum shops at Tescos' is more of an insult than 'your mum is a prostitute'

-it annoys you when someone says 'talk with a British accent' even though there's no such thing

-you learn road safety from hedgehogs

-you say 'wow he's so peng!'

-your local chip shop is on google maps

-you have had an argument with someone about how to make a cup of tea correctly

-you can't mention Kerry Katona without also mentioning her king prawn ring

-'shitload' is an accepted form of measurment

-you say 'snog' instead of 'make out'

-you've been tango'd!

-there's a strong chance your breakfast was knitted by nanas

-you eat chips and curry sauce together (it's heaven!)

-it's 'cuppa tea' not 'cup of tea'

-you have a Legoland driving licence

-you play 'boggies' with your friends in inappropriate places

-Doctor Who, Blackadder and Horrible Histories taught you all you need to know about history

-you have used a red telephone box

-Bob's your uncle, and Fanny's your aunt

-the only thing you know how to bake is a Victoria sponge

-a chinese/indian takeaway can include chips and gravy

-you don't refer to yourself as British, but as English, Irish, Welsh or Scottish

-you get a cold in the middle of summer

-Not-Made-From-Wheat-Made-from-Oats-Instead-A-Bix was a much better name than Oatabix

-you know what 'meat and two veg' means

-calpol cures everything (and it does!)

-you go shopping in pyjamas and nobody bats an eyelid

-you find 'Only Fools and Horses' a good source of entertainment

-computer says no...

-you have a dolmio day

-'it's pissing down'

-you know the theme tune to eastenders off by heart

-it ain't christmas untill the coca-cola advert had been seen on TV

-'you ain't my muvva!'

-'Yes I am!!!'

-cats have opposable thumbs

-you've been framed was the highlight of you saturdays

-fish and chips taste better at the seaside

-you have learnt more from 'QI' than from school

-it's arse, not ass

-yeah but, no but, yeah but, no but, yeah but whatever!

-oh my god i so can't believe you just said that!

-a fictional meerkat has an autobiography

-your hoover is called henry!

-you can let people off the train, whilst at all times move forwards.

-the referee was German at the world cup match between England and Germany. (We should of had that goal!)

-'WHO ARE YA! WHO ARE YA!'

-BRING ON THE TRUMPETS!!! :D

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or all of the above 'across', copy this into your profile.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, (it's so fun! ) copy this into your profile.

If the first thing that enters your mind when i say fudge is fudge then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever suppressed the urge to yell "MANSEX!!" in a crowded room, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen in love with or had a crush on a fictional character, copy this to your profile.

If you think High School Musical is evil, and brainwashes little kids, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

Out of my mind, please leave a message.

People are like slinkies, basically useless; and yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

If you don't laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do it for you. :D

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

Pictures fade away but memories are FOREVER!

Take candy, not drugs.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.

Live your life with arms wide open; you never know what might be thrown at you...

I do have a dog...but I eat my own homework.

Save the earth, it's the only place with chocolate!

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people.

Do NOT label me, I'm no soup can!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

If silence is golden, is talking silver?

Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.

What happens if your scared to death twice?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if well-aimed.

Parents spend the first years of your life telling you to walk and talk, then the rest of it telling you to sit down and shut up.

Paper may beat rock, but cannonballs make big holes in paper.

One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

i speak fluent sarcasm.

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with that dumb look on your face.

I do not deny everything!

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape.

Don't take life to serously, no one gets out alive anyway.

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do.

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain.

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

24 Things I owe to my Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you two are going to kill each other, at least do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you aren't coming to the store with me!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

6. My mother taught IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Your room looks like a tornado went through there!"

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it too!"

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children around the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home!"

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You're going to get it when we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way!"

18. My mother taught me about ESP.
"Put your sweater on! Don't you think I know when you're cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When the lawnmower cuts off you toes, don't come crying to me!"

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS.
"Shut that door! Do you think you were raised in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you're my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dimwit?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - damm it - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MUM and Grandpa, POPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only knows a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap! :D

HARRY POTTER OATH!

You say Twilight,
I say Harry Potter.
You say vampires,
I say wizards
You say Bella,
I say Ginny.
You say Jacob Black,
I say Sirius Black.
You say the Volturi,
I say Lord Voldemort.
You say Stephenie Meyer,
I say J.K. Rowling.
You say Renesmee, half-blood vampire,
I say Severus Snape, Half-Blood Prince.
You say Forks,
I say Hogwarts.
You call me weird,
...AVADA KADAVRA!!!!!