Jake Voltaire
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Joined 05-28-11, id: 2940385, Profile Updated: 01-07-12

"You can't think yourself out of a writing block; you have to write yourself out of a thinking block."- John Rogers


Pseudonym: Jake Voltaire

Favorite color: Green

Major characteristic: Lazy procrastinator

Favorite books: Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, The Mysterious Benedict Society, The Hunger Games, The Heroes of Olympus, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, A Series of Unfortunate Events, etc.


Recommendations:

Just look at my favorite stories and authors. :)

Told you I'm lazy.


Girls Don't Realize These Things:

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you20threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
That I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'. I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet a lot of girls do too.


When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to re post it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you re post this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't re post this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Re-post this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress

(Copied from xXMizz Alec VolturiXx's account) :D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sitting In A Tree by TheModernMarauders reviews
A group of pranksters, bright minds and fun-loving people get together to form a plan from a muggle chant with questionable use of a preposition. Hogwarts, beware! Strange pairings ensue. Features OCs but mostly revolves on characters from Harry Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,362 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/25/2012 - Published: 10/13/2011
Hey Granger by thereitwasagain reviews
Having Draco Malfoy as Head Boy was not on top of Hermione Granger's list of nightmares. He was a close second though, and gaining. He gives it a month 'til they kill each other. She gives it a week.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,236 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/6/2012 - Published: 12/2/2011 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Raising a Cub: Legacy by Xion the Author reviews
Eight years have passed, and our old friends have gotten quite older. Time passes on for everyone; from herd to pack. But away with the old age comes with the new. So how has Eli fared in his new pack? Epilogue to Ice Age Journeys: Raising a Cub. Aforementioned story recommended. AU after IA3.
Ice Age - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,163 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/9/2012 - Diego, Peaches - Complete
My Gift is My Song by BlueberryPapercuts reviews
"Pansy Parkinson," he said, now stepping down from the platform, weaving through the tables towards her. "That night, during the Yule Ball. You've become the most beautiful thing to me. I knew, that at that moment... I fell in love with you."
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,917 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/10/2011 - Published: 11/9/2011 - Ron W., Pansy P. - Complete