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This is the account of DarkGardevoir. You're really unfortunate you ran across my account of madness. Seriously, some of the crap I write comes out of scenic nowhere, and it's kind of sad, actually. Without further ado, here's the author's profile.

DarkGardevoir

Age: 36

Name: Lise. I hate it.

Date of Birth: October 25, 1971

Location: England

About Me: Single mother with 3 kids. I enjoy writing hentai stories for anime & video game series. I take requests sometimes (if I'm in the mood) but often the stories I write are weird. I currently have only one story written -- it was inspired by My Immortal, a RETARDED Harry Potter fanfiction with a HORRIBLE Mary Sue self-insertion; in this story, the author's sex scenes were SO atrocious, I was immediately turned off and inspired to write an equally shitty sex scene).

Likes: Writing (however crappy it is), listening to music, roleplaying, shoujo anime, video games, Haruhi Suzumiya

Dislikes: My Immortal, shitty sex scenes, tea, ramen, shounen anime (overrated much?), stereotypes, Mary Sues

Favourite Couplings: I like most couplings from anime, no matter how stupid/inevitable/crack-esque they are. So don't ask. The ONE THING, however, I can't understand is SoraXRoxas. Jesus on a baboon's ass, how is that even possible? They're the same damned person. So, in my world at least (which also contains flying lawnmowers), any couple is writable. Except Sora and Roxas.

Awesomely Awesome Story Quotes

"Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time." -- XXXbloodyrists666XXX, on how bloody awesome she is at writing sex scenes

"TARA IS DA BIGGEST FUCKING BITCH EVER AND BY THE WAY I’M A BIGGER MCR FAN AND GERARD IS MINE 4EVA SO FUCK U! AND I’M NOT GIVING U UR SWEATER BACK!" -- bloodytearz666, on how her friend kicks so much ass and deserves an award

"And they’re in there together! I mean, okay, they are twins but that is honestly disgusting." -- Snowy Winter Tales, on how twincest is utterly nasty and should be destroyed

"And, er, yes, that is actually backwards bulimia, if you are a toilet." -- Sohara von Salienta, on backwards bulimia

"I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!" -- XXXbloodyrists666XXX, again on how OMFGOMEGA she is, and does she mean a fucking Dark Mark or what?