Hey. I'm simple. I'm the writer, currently sharing this with the person who reads. Sad, I know, that I'm sharing, but I write and she reads. I'm a dork, yes. She's crazy. She is like Alice. I'm like Edward. We are Twilight obsessives. TWILIGHT! SHINEY VOLVOS AND EDWARD.

Jacob Black sucks.

Jacob Black sucks. He isn't allowed in the house because I don't want fleas. I'm 100 vampiric. Team Edward. Jasper and Emmett aren't to bad either. I'll settle. Jacob Black and that vile Mike Newton both suck. I don't let Mike Newton in the house for two reasons. 1) He had golden retreverlike qualities, thus, if I let him in the house, he might bring jacob who is a wolf, resulting in twice the amount of fleas. Gross. 2) I really, really, don't like popular people like Mike. I let Eric into the house because I am a chess type, orcha dork, same as him. Jacob Black still sucks. It may seem that I'm talking about Jacob and that vile Mike Newton too much. Why? It is because my soft-spoken intensity for people that ruin EVERYTHING glows with the passion of a million suns. I'm weird. You'll live. (Unless you want fleas also.)

Jasper, in my mind, is my personal trainer. Together, we will kick your butt coughJacobBlackcough. I'm making excelent progress. I can tackle Emmett to the ground with mem bruising. Edward, no sweat, he has a weakness and her name is Bella Swan. Bella loves to help me tortoure Edward. I really love Edward. I mean, I wouldn't steal him from Bella, but I love him all the same. Emmett is my big brother. He takes me bowling every Friday. Once, he broke the lane because he threw a ball down so hard. The manager was a little ticked. We ended up having to pay for it. Alice loves to take me shopping. Let's just say that she goes overboard. No matter how many times I tell her I don't want that dang Dior dress, she always begs. Rosalie ignores me. I don't have a problem with that.

Jacob still sucks majorly. Stupid flea-bitten pup. Did I mention that I don't like fleas?

I'm more of a cat person. The reader loves puppies. (She made a slight exception for that Jacob Black).

My favorite colors contist of silver and black. The reader likes baby-blue. I, personally, prefer ice blue. (BTW, when I typed 'baby-blue' , she squealed. I rolled my eyes) :)

Well, I love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love writing. She loves, loves, loves, loves, so on (I'm lazy) reading. So, yep.

I play guitar. She sings. I'm ugly. She isn't. (I've written everything up to this point, by the way). Well, I must go.

Peace on earth+the end of hunger+ music= a happy us.

You know you live in 2008 when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace or a cell phone.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6.) You just tried to defend yourself against the computer by saying something like 'The TV doesnt have buttons anymore!'

7.) You just realised that you were defending yourself against an innanimate object

8.) Your parents can't even survive school anymore. (it is a fact that many 5th graders know geography more than their parents)

9.) You've gotten in trouble at school for sending in a report ful of cht spk typose, nd smily faces

10.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

11.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

12.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

13.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.

14.) And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

15.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile.

15 Things to do when you’re in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "We have a Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

Dorks are cool. Dorks are smart. Dorks will one day rule the universe. If you're a Dork and proud of it, copy this into your profile.