The character I will most often be using is Mez, or Mezmorize, like mesmorize except with a 'Z'. I don't know why, I

just like my character's to be able to do something special with their eyes. I'll most likely be always using her, Kaz, and Ariston, another character I like.

Oh, call me Tate by the way. My full name ain't none of your biz-ness and neither is my middle or last. :-P

25 Random Facts About Myself I Decided To Share For No Apparent Reason

1) I HATE romantic/sappy movies.

2) I'd rather watch someone get blown up then someone get fucked up.

3) I don't like guns, I prefer swords/daggers/bombs/bow and arrows/etc.

4) I enjoy sparring.

5) I go to the movies more often then not.

6) For some reason, emotions are not my thing. I feel amusement and anger. That's it. The rest I have to pretend.

7) I hate people who think they're 'all that' and like putting people down.

8) Even my parents say I'm not afraid of anything, because I don't follow the crowd and actually DO SOMETHING when someone is getting bullied.

9) My best friend is bi.

10) I can usually predict the outcome of a movie/book ten minutes/ten pages into it.

11) I have an advanced reading level, but am failing Language.

12) I can remember everything that happened in my life, even when I was merely a year old.

13) I have no interest in makeup and always wear black sweat pants and a jacket.

14) I know how to fight with a katana.

15) I love stories about high-class criminals or assassins. Don't ask why, I just do.

16) My family misunderstands me. My mom thinks she is always right and always gets onto my stepsister or stepbrother for doing something my real brother did because she doesn't like them; though she tries to pretend otherwise. Then I usually end up on her bad side for taking my stepsister's side.

17) Math is my worst subject.

18) One of my best friend's has purple hair. (how many of you can say that, huh?)

19) Sarcasm is my middle name.

20) I am anti-social and proud!

21) I have anger issues.

22) Most people compare me to Izaya Orihara (from Durarara) because I'm manipulative, sneaky, and know how to get under your skin...when I want to. Also, I can come up with a spur of the moment lie that checks out perfectly with a straight face.

23) People call me a bitch, but that's because they know me. And I'm a good bitch when I'm on your side.

24) I am a virgin and plan on keeping it that way for a lllllooooonnnnnngggggg time.

25) I hardly ever get in trouble, even when a teacher clearly sees me doing something wrong, though everyone else does.

You probably don't care, but I was bored. Don't judge me. No one's perfect.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like cookies, and anime!

If you swear like crazy at the rare pokemon for escaping your last pokeball, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you had a laughing fit for absolutely no reason copy and paste this on your profile

-If you think Orochimaru is what you get when Michael Jackson and Voldemort have unprotected sex, C&P this into your profile

If you hear voices in you head, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you know someone (Or more than one someone!) who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If your weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar copy this into your profile.

If your crazy and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy people for the hell of it... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever seen a movie so many time you can quote it word for word, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing at something in a book, copy this to your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a heart-to-heart conversation with a wall, copy and paste this in your profile.

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say “Run, fudger, run!”

FRIENDS: Bail you outta prison.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you’re in there.

FRIENDS: Will look at you like your crazy when you tell them your an alien from outer space.
BEST FRIEND: Will break you out of the loony bin and drive you to New Mexico to meet the mother-ship.

If you actually go around fanfiction reading these things, COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR PROFILE!

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

Stupid Racist People...

If you truly hate Sasuke Uchiha, copy this onto your profile! Unit all 'Anti-Sasuke' people!

If you ever tune out of reality when reading any kind of manga (especially manga you like) and don't pay attention to surroundings, copy this onto your profile!

Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this mundanely ridiculous fact, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do..

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't fit the description of the non-existent word of 'normal', then put this into your profile right now!!

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever dreamed that you met anime/manga characters, copy this into your profile.

If you can actually copy the hand signs used in Naruto without even trying, copy this into your profile.(I can do Katsu!)

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile. Nobody says "game over" to me!!

Post this on your profile if you have ever had a major fan girl moment.

If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together and think that it will happen, copy and paste in your profile

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it wasn't cool to breath anymore. Repost if your one if the 8 percent who would be laughing your butt off.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

These are actually on the labels.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(we don't get fake fake bacon. we get real fake bacon.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On an American Flag:
Made in China
(Must I say anything?)

At Funplex:
Paintless Paintball
(So it's...ball?)

Next to a kid's place:
Adult Movies
. . . seriously?

In a Parking Lot:
Do not park in the parking lot.
(That's okay, the streets are empty.)

QUOTES TO LIVE BY

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Guns don't kill people. I do.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Quotes

"What doesn't kill you, will most certainly try again." - Me

"Get ur mind out of the gutter? Dude, I AM the gutter!" - Me

"Stressed is desserts spelt backwards"- Moonpig card

"Hey, did you go see the Haunting on LAMO Street?!"

"Oh, go read a book!"

"Your momma!"

"Yours first."- My cousins tour guide to a total butthead

"Wanna play?"- Chucky (Child's Play)

"Hehehe...moo"- Kakashi (Naruto Abridged)

"OMG! A giant rock!"- Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged)

"I ain't afraid of no goats" - Person off 118 118 advert

"Your not afraid of the dark are you?"- Riddick (Chronicles of Riddick)

"Even a person using shuriken can lose to a master who throws but a tiny rock." Zetsu (Naruto (Shippuuden))

Oh yeah, back when she was nice." -TJ (Recess: school's out)

"Worst day of your life so far!" - Homer (Simpsons Movie)

"I'll let you hold the bomb" - Homer (Simpsons movie)

"Hey, Kakuzu, what do you mean 'unlike my partner'?!"- Hidan (Naruto (Shippuuden))

"You know, logic has a brother. His name is SHUT THE HELL UP!" -Kakashi (Naruto Abridged)

"Anyway, we have the five villages: the drinking gourd, the dog crap, the squiggly lines, the three puddles and the- what the crap is our symbol. No, seriously- it doesn't even look like a leaf! It looks like a snail fell over and can't get up!"- Kakashi (Naruto Abridged)

"Leave it to my friend- mister puffy pyjama pants!" -Haku (Naruto Abridged)

"Who's that pokemon- it's Kakashi"- Sakura/Naruto (Naruto Abridged)

"You're one hundred years too young for giving me orders" - Deidara (Naruto (Shippuuden))

"You may call me whatever you wish, but I'm taking your cake." - L (Death Note)

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" - Harvey Dent (The Dark Knight)

"Some men don't want anything logical, some men just want to watch the world burn" - Alfred (The Dark Knight)

"Unlikely adeventures require unlikely tools"- Mr Magorium (Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium)

"You can't spell slaughter without laughter." - Name of the Album of a Band

The only thing to fear is fear itself... and spiders." - Me on any occassion

"You do not respect the funk...for that I will surely kill you." - Gaara (Naruto Abridged)

"How many F's are in funk?" - Gaara (Naruto Abridged)

"How are you doing? I'm fine...because I'm a potato!" - On some random Video Game video I saw.

"What're you doing, letting him get in front of you like that?! C'mon do SOMETHING! Ninja kick the da(*)n rabbit!" -Michealangelo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (OOOOLD Movie!)

"NO I WILL NOT STAND UP! AND THE BANANA IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU! ARE YOU BLIND?!" Amy2421

"Are you a secret agent, working for the KGB? Having trouble hacking into Pentagon's secret files? In that case, a DONATELLO is exactly what you need!" - Goddess of Idun (DONATELLO: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual. All four are hilarious!)

Mom (While cooking dinner): "This ice cream's almost empty! Here you eat it!"

Me: O.O...OK!

"You mofo! Quit trying to kill your best friend!" - Me

(Hears crickets) "OMG, IT'S GREG'S DESCENDANTS!" - Me

Friend: Waaaah! (Fake crying)

Teacher: What's wrong with him?

Other friend: Oh, he's crying cause I hit his arm.

Teacher: Hit him again, maybe he'll cry more!

"Up yours, with a twirling lawnmower!" - Rod (ANOES Robert Englund version)

"Wanna get high?" - Freddy (ANOES - The Dream Warriors)

"I'm a cat...moo." - My cousin

"Ok, so you see Robert Pattinson dies as Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter movies...but then he comes back as a sparkly vampire!" - My cousin, explaining Harry Potter to our overly-deprived friend (Who had no clue who or what HP was...the poor girl...)

"Be careful man! I almost shot your face off your face!" - Tower Heist

She got dead. - Me (-_-')

Dean: Expletive)!

Demon lady: When I'm mad, I say "fudge" dear.

Dean: If you fudgin touch me again, I'm gonna fudgin kill you!

"I once met a creature, who ate of his own heart in his hands. "Does it taste good, friend?" I asked. "It is bitter. It is bitter." It replied, "But I like it because it is bitter...because it is my heart." - The Crow (Wicked Prayer)

"None of you seem to understand...I'm not locked in here with you. You're all locked in here with me." -Rorschach (Watchmen)

Hinata: Do I ever cross your mind?

Naruto: No

Hinata: Do you like me?

Naruto: No

Hinata: Do you want me?

Naruto: No

Hinata: Would you cry if I left?

Naruto: No

Hinata: Would you live for me?

Naruto: No

Hinata: Would you do anything for me?

Naruto: No

Hinata: Choose--me or your life

Naruto: My life

Hinata runs away in shock and pain and Naruto runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

NaruHina 4EVER! (C&P if you are a NaruHina fan!)

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

When someone says, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Say, "Oh yeah?" and throw a dictionary at them!

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at life and say, "Give me chocolate!"

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat.
97% of people would yell "STOP!"
2% of them would cheer,
1% of them would take the baseball bat and hit the kid then take the puppy to the Vet.
Post this on you profile if you are that 1%...

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), Ultimate-Apples (Australia),Immortal-Puppet-Otaku (USA), teiaramogami (USA), MezmorizeHypno (USA)

Welcome To the Mental Health Hotline.
Hello... and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline...

If you are Obsessive/Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a Manic-Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 000.

If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss press 9. If you have short- term memory loss, press 9. If you have short- term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just screw it up.

Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

From 50 Ways to Annoy the Akatsuki (On Quizazz)

- Pour your favorite kind of ranch dressing on Zetsu's head and then try to take a bite out of him, when he asks why you're doing so, yell, "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, HUH?!"

- Flick holy water on Hidan and yell, "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"

- Say that you're allergic to stupidity, and when a member walks by, sneeze. When Tobi walks by, smile and do nothing.

Dye Hidan's hair pink and when he yells at you for doing it, tell him that Jashin-sama came to you in a dream and told you to do it.

Secretly hide a magnet in your mouth somwhere and kiss Pein on the cheek. Then claim to be stuck to one of his magnets.

Glare at all the member's and tell them that Itachi said it will help you learn the Mangekyou.

Pay Kakuzu to help you move large speakers into each Akatsuki members rooms while they're aslep and then blast Hannah Montana as loud as you can at three in the morning.

- Ask Deidara on a date, if/when he says no, say, "I was talking to your hands."

If you hate Twilight, think that Stephenie Meyer completely screwed up Vampires, believe that Bella is the dumbest heroine ever, and pretty much hated every minute of the book or plot synopsis, copy this into your profile and join the ranks of people that do not believe that Twilight is the best thing since sliced bread.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

90% OF TEEN WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN IF JUSTIN BEIBER WAS STANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE TOWER READY TO JUMP.COPY AND PASTE THIS IF YOUR ONE OF THE 10% OF PEOPLE WHO WOULD BRING OUT A LAWN CHAIR AND POPCORN AND SCREAM "DIE BITCH!!" ಠ_ಠ

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever ran into a parked car, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think about Avatar practically 24/7.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

You know your an author if...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and/or caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D./You sometimes wonder if you actually have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no apparent reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny (for no apparent reason) a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

A.D.D. You have Attention Deficit Dis--um, hello!? Are you even reading this anymore? Yoo-hoo!? Hey! Look at this...shiny object...you like that right? That's right...Look at the--hey! Stop that! Look, your nose is on your FACE, you can't *chase it*. It doesn't work that way...oh forget it.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. SO TRUE!!!!!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, put this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit over nothing at all, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you hate racism, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-90% of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a 6 story building. Copy and paste this if you'd be one of the 10% yelling JUMP!!!!

1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5)
2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11)
3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15)
4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13)
5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2)
6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12)
7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL
8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14)
9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4)
10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7)
11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6)
12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 )
13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10)
14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3)
15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9

Stupidity got us into this mess-why can't it get us out?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars, and I thought, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

Therapist=the/rapist... scary thought.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out, it refused to come back in.

Tell the truth and run.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

Madness? THIS...IS...SPARTA!

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

Girls can do what boys can do. And we can do it in high heels!

I wonder if gay people say, "Thats so straight!"

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

-I didn't hit u... i simply just high-fived your face.

-Don't hit kids... No. Seriously, they have guns now.

-War does not determine who is right...war determines who is left

-whoops, forgot to be normal...

-"Way to go!""I do not understand. Where did I go, and which way did I take?"

-Therapy is expensive, bubble wrap is free.

-If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

-You can't spell Awesome with out ME!

98% of teenagers say "I Love You" And Don't Mean it. If You Are The 2% That Does, Then Copy And Paste This In Your Profile. I always mean it!!

-95 percent of people are concerned with being popular. If you are part of the five percent who couldn't care less, copy this to your profile.

97% of teens would cry

If they saw Edward Cullen

On a skyscraper, about to jump.

3% would sit, eat popcorn, and yell,

"DO A BACK FLIP YOU SPARKILY RETARD!!"

If you are a 3% put this on your page.

Even when you can't see Him, GOD IS THERE!! If you believe in God, then put this in your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven.

In case you're wondering where I found this, I got it from a poster.

Murphy's Law

Murphy was an optimist

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Interchangeable parts - won't.

Leakproof seals - will.

Self starters - will not.

If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it.

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.

The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10 cents fuse by blowing first.

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.

Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center.

When a broken appliance is demostrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.

The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.

In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of imcompetence, and then remains there.

No one's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

No matter how long or hard you shop for an item. After you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

You will always find something in the last place you look.

The other line always moves faster.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

Everybody should believe in something - I believe I'll have another drink.

If you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it.

90% of everything is crud.

All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit.

Never eat prunes when you are famished.

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

1. Open you library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle

3. Press play

4. For every question, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...and a lot of songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Tell Me Why (Taylor Swift)

Waking Up: Kiss the Girl (Ashley Tisdale, pop version)

First Day At School: Fifteen (Taylor Swift, hahaha, that's hilarious)

Falling In Love: Stereo Hearts (My Heart)

Fight Song: Situations (Escape the Fate)

Breaking Up: Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not (Thompson Square, this one doesn't make any sense)

Prom night: Good Girls Go Bad (Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester)

Life: Watching You (Rodney Atkins)

Mental Breakdown: Cruella De Vil (Selena Gomez)

Driving: Tonight Tonight (Hot Chelle Rae)

Flashback: My Gift & My Curse (BOTDF)

Getting back together: Cowboy Casanova (Carrie Underwood)

Wedding: She's Country (Jason Aldean)

The road to success is always under construction.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

What you call dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Duck tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

You laugh because I'm different...I laugh cause I just farted!

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

He who laughs last didn't get it

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

"Only two things are infinite, human stupidity, and the universe... And I'm not even sure about the latter."-Albert Einstein

"Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life."

"I don't understand a word you're going on about, but I know exactly what you're saying and I refuse to apologize."

"Nope, no matter how bad things seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it, Nancy. Quit yer bitching."

"I have a first place ribbon in doing nothing, it's the same color as last place... It's purple."

"We're both of the same breed, after all...Motives for war are not of concern. Religion, ideology, resources, land, spite, love, or just because...no matter how pathetic the reason, it's enough to start war."-Pein

"We are but men, drawn to act in the name of revenge we deem to be 'Justice.' But when we call our vengeance 'Justice,' it only breeds more revenge...forging the first link in the chains of hatred."-Pein

What to do at wally-world

1. Get 24 boxes of cookies and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow!'

18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a jedi match.

19. Stand by the fruit section and whenever someone is browsing whisper "I heard someone died eating those"

20. Go to the furniture section, find a wardrobe and put a sign on it that says "CAUTION: PORTAL TO NARNIA"

21. Put a ketchup packet under the toilet seats in all the women stalls and when they come out offer them a box of tampons.

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things and add another one to the list! XD

What to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Try Not to Cry

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

To Every Girl:

To every girl that is SCARED to
put her heart out there again,
because she has been HURT
too many times or so badly.

To every girl that has been
cheated on,
because she's not a slut
who gives it up to any guy.

To every girl that
dresses cute,
not skanky.

To every girl who
wants to be called
beautiful, not hot.

To every girl that will spend her
whole day looking
for the perfect present for you.

To every girl who gets her heart
broken, because he
chose that bitch instead.

To every girl that would die
to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just once
like to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night
because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that won't get
down on her knees open
her mouth just to get a boyfriend.

To every girl that
just wants to hold hands.

To every girl that
kisses him with meaning.

To every girl who
just wishes he cared more.

To every girl who would just
once want a guy to give their
jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who
just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies
awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that
just wants to cuddle.

To every girl that
just wants to sleep with
him without having sex.

To every girl who shows how much
she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought
"maybe this one could be the one."

To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff
when she actually doesn't think it is funny.

To every girl who is just
looking for that one and
only. and is having a rough
time along the way.

To every girl that doesn't want
a guy who just plays with her
emotions but actually cares about
how she feels.

To every girl who wants
words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies
only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away
to have it shoved back in her face.
never again

To every girl that has faith that
"tomorrow will be a better day."
And it will be.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Translations: Japan - English (Not made by me)

Jobun = Foreword
Shô = Chapter

Ichi = One
Ni = Two
San = Three
Shi / Yon = Four
Go = Five
Roku = Six
Shichi / Nana = Seven
Hachi = Eight
Kyuu = Nine
Juu = Ten
JuuIchi = Eleven
JuuNi = Twelve
JuuSan = Thirteen
JuuShi = Fourteen
JuuGo = Fifteen
JuuRoku = Sixteen
JuuShichi = Seventeen
JuuHachi = Eighteen
JuuKyuu = Nineteen
NiJuu = Twenty

Haru = Spring
Natsu = Summer
Aki = Fall
Fuyu = Winter

Sayonara = Goodbye
Ohayo gozaimasu = Good morning
Konnichi wa = Good afternoon
Konban wa = Good everning
Oyasumi nasai = Good night
Merii kurisumasu = Happy Christmas
Akemashite omedeto gozaimasu = Happy New Year

Moshi moshi? = Hello? ("Moshi moshi?", is something they say everytime they answer the phone)

Oh dear Kami-sama = Oh dear Lord / Oh dear God
Oh Kami = Oh God

Nakama = It can mean friend, but has a much stronger meaning to it like: Super-duper-bestest-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world-where-nothing-can-ever-ever-ever-EVER-tear-us-apart...

Koibito / Amate = Lover

Anata = means 'you' but also can mean 'dear'

Koi = Love

Koishii = Dearest / Sweetheart

Ichizoku = Family or Clan, ex. The Uchiha Ichizoku (The Uchiha Clan)

Otou-sama, Otou-san, Otou-chan, Tou-sama, Tou-san, Tou-chan, Chichioya (Chichiue),'Oyaji' = Father, dad, 'Old man'

Okaa-sama, Okaa-san, Okaa-chan, Kaa-sama, Kaa-san, Kaa-chan, Hahaoya (Hahaue) = Mother, mom

Onii-sama, Onii-san, Onii-chan, Nii-sama, Nii-san, Nii-chan, Aniki, Ani, (Name, ex. Naruto)-nii = Older brother, Big brother, (Ani) brother equally, big brother (Naruto)

Onee-sama, Onee-san, Onee-chan, Nee-sama, Nee-san, Nee-chan, (Name, ex. Sakura)-nee = Older sister, Big sister, big sister (Sakura)

Otouto-sama, Otouto-san, Otouto-kun, Otouto-chan, Otouto, (Name, ex. Sasuke)-otouto = Younger brother, little brother, baby brother, little brother (Sasuke)

Imouto-sama, Imouto-san, Imouto-chan, Imouto, (Name, ex. Hanabi)-imouto = Younger sister, little sister, baby sister, little sister (Hanabi)

Ojii-sama, Ojii-san, Ojii-chan, Jii-sama, Jii-san, Jii-chan, 'Oyaji' = Grandfather, 'Old man'

Obaa-sama, Obaa-san, Obaa-chan, Baa-sama, Baa-san, Baa-chan, Sobo = Grandmother, Granny, 'Old hag'

Oji-sama, Oji-san, Oji-chan, Ji-sama, Ji-san, Ji-chan = Uncle

Itoko-sama, Itoko-san, Itoko-kun, Itoko-chan = Cousin

Ossan = Old man / Mister

Onna = Woman

Gaki = Brat

-sama = For higher status, ex. Hokage, Clan Head, ex. Tsunade-sama, Hiashi-sama

-san = For people you respect, ex. Kakashi-san, or with surname only: Hatake-san

-kun = For a boy / man you are familiar with, ex. Sasuke-kun

-chan = For a girl woman you are familiar with, also refered to cute, ex. Sakura-chan

-sensei = For a teacher, doctor, ex. Iruka-sensei, Tsunade-sensei

-taichou = For a captain, ex. Hatake-taichou (Captain Hatake)

-shishou = For boss or a teacher in a job, ex. Tsunade-shishou (By Sakura)

-senpai = For a senior in school or in a job, ex. Neji-senpai, Deidara-sempai

-kouhai (Sp?) = For a junior in school or in a job, ex. Naruto-kouhai

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
"I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched you. have a heart

Akatsuki Quiz Thingy!! (YAY! WHOOP WHOOP!)

Pein/Pain - Nagato
[X] -I am the leader/boss of a group, club, friends etc.
[X] -I have a piercing/s.
[X] - My natural hair colour is red, ginger or auburn.
[ ] -My eyes are grey/gray.
[X] -My closest friend is a girl.
[X] - I'm a very secretive person.
[X] - I like it when it rains.

[Pein/Pain - Nagato Score: 6/7 ]

Konan
[X] - Most of my friends are guys.
[ ] - Origami RULES!
[ ] - I know how to make atleast over 5 different origami objects.
[ ] - I love flowers!
[X] - Your closest friend is a guy. (I have a best guy friend and a best girl friend)
[X] - I don't like having my photo taken.
[ ] - I don't like water. Swimming etc.

[Konan Score: 3/7 ]

Itachi Uchiha
[X] - My younger sibling/s bothers me a lot.
[X] -Many people find me attractive.
[.5] - I'm quiet and very mature for my age.
[X] - I don't actually like fighting though I can fight.
[X] - I don't care what you think, Kisame is cool.
] - I'm the top of my class. Intelligence.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is black.

[Itachi Uchiha Score: 4.5/7 ]

Kisame Hoshigaki
[X] - Sharks are AWESOME!
[X] - I like gore :3
[ ] - I dislike my own appearance. I'm ugly!:(
[X] - Underwater in the ocean is abeautiful scenery.
[X] - Once someone gets to know me, I'm a pretty nice person. (and random!! XD)
[ ] - I'm the tallest of my friends who are the same gender.
[X] - I like water sports.

[Kisame Hoshigaki Score: 5/7]

Sasori
[ ] - I look young for my age.
[X] - Puppets are fascinating...
[x] - I'm very impatient.
[X] - I hate that bitch, Sakura Haruno.
[ ] - My Grandma annoys me. (she can and she cant but I still love her!)
[ ] - I'm the smallest of my friends.
[X]- Loud noises/people annoy me.

[Sasori Score: 4/7]

Deidara
[X] - I'm an artist.
[X] - I like and appreciate art.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is blonde/dirty blonde.
[X] - I have blue eyes. (blue/grey)
[ ] - I'm the youngest in my group of friends.
] - I hate Tobi. (I hate Madara)
[X] - I have a 'friend' who follows and annoys me.

[Deidara Score: 4/7 ]

Kakuzu
[X] - I'm a saver, not a spender.
[ ] - My eyes are either green or hazel.
[ ] - I have had stitches.
[X] - I hate Hidan.(I'm sorry but he killed Asuma!)
[ ] - Younger people tend to tick me off.
[ ] - I am the oldest in my group of friends.
] - My skin is dark or tanned. (More like a light tan)

[Kakuzu Score: 2/7 ]

Hidan
[X]I have a cussing/swearing problem.(In my head or I use substitution words Ex:Fudge, Bish etc.
[X] - I hate Kakuzu.
[X] - I hate so many people and hate them so much, that I probably have my own hit-list.
[ ] - I am religious.
[X] - I am very strong-willed.
[ ] - I have cut myself on purpose before. (bet I could give myself a papercut...)
] - I'm very prone to accidents.

[Hidan Score: 4/7 ]

Zetsu
[ ] - I have a split personality. Two sides.
X] - Nature is AWESOME! (Nature hates me)
[ ] - I'm usually alone.
[X] - I don't mind the company of others.
[ ] - I don't have many friends.
[X] - Tobi is not that bad.
[X] - I WON'T eat the veggies! Meat all the way, man!

[Zetsu Score: 4/7 ]

Tobi
[ ] - I'm always hyperactive.
[X] - I have a particular person who I like to pester.
[ ] - People often mistake me for someone else or say I look like someone.
[ ] - I LOVE the colour orange.
[X] - I'm rarely sad and always optimistic.
[X] - TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! :D (when he shuts up)

[Tobi Score: 3/6]

Orochimaru
[ ] - I'm attracted to younger people.
[X] - I have a very pale skin colour.
[X] - Snakes are AWESOME!
] - I love/like Sasuke Uchiha.
[ ] - Micheal Jackson is AWESOME!
[X] - I'm very motivated, nothing will stop me from reaching my goals.
[X] - People think I'm twisted or insane.

[Orochimaru Score: 4 ] (eeww, FOUR in common out of SEVEN? THAT'S OVER HALF!!)

If whenever someone said Edward, you thought of Edward Elric instead of Edward from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground which aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93% of the people that read this won’t re-post it?

If you've ever laughed when a person dies in a movie, and it's not supposed to be funny, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you were ever sitting in a restaraunt and started dancing to music in your head regardless of who was watching, copy and paste this into your profile.

Please read this:

This is a true story. All schools have a class clown, someone that gets on everyones nerves and that no one likes. There was one of these boys in this one school. Nobody liked him at all. He had no friends, the teachers hated him for his disruptiveness, and the students found him annoying beyond belief. He never seemed to care. One day, he had finally stepped on his teachers last nerve. What the teacher did was make everyone in the class stand up and tell the boy something they didn't like about him. As each of the thirty students stood up and said something about him they didn't like, he only sat and didn't seem to mind. All of the students did it.

That day, when school was out, the boy went home, grabbed his dads gun, and shot himself in the head.

If you think that the teacher was to blame, and that what she did was morally wrong and completely shameful, copy and paste this into your profile. Then, if you would have been the one to stand up and say "I'm not going to do this" then add your username to the list.
Antire5, EmoWolves of Shadow, Killercat-nya, mitsuki1313, icyprincess1, Marshmellowtime, MezmorizeHypno (that person at my school is my best friend thank you very much),

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was yourfirst clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight, freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, Eimi, Loved1, x-LinaNumairsri-x, 3Kiyoshi3, aero13, icyprincess1, Marshmellowtime, MezmorizeHypno,

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding

It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with contentious and angry women

One bright day in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. Then a deaf policeman heard the noise and drew his gun and stabbed the boys. If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too. And if you don't believe the blind, ask the deaf he heard it fine.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group.

"I think, therefore I get a headache."

Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom

1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore

2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know

3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?

4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Just kidding.

5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin'

6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory...

7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?

8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?

9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another...

10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain.

11. Dammit, Steve! You're the father of my baby! You know what? I'm-- AAAAHHH!! OH GOD, I'M HAVING THE BABY!! DAMN YOU, STEVE!! IF I'M GONNA HAVE THIS BABY NOW, YOU'RE GONNA FEEL THIS PAIN WITH ME!! Oh shit... is the intercom actually on?

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT,

Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,

So why bother?

'I love you' is eight letters. And so is 'bullshit'

COCA COLA WENT TO TOWN

PEPSI COLA KNOCKED HIM DOWN

DR PEPPER PICKED HIM UP

NOW WE'RE DRINKING 7 UP.

7 UP CAUGHT THE FLU

AND NOW WE'RE DRINKING MOUNTAIN DEW

MOUNTAIN DEW FELL OFF THE MOUNTAIN

NOW WE'RE DRINKING WATER FOUNTAIN

WATER FOUNTAIN BROKE

AND NOW WE'RE DRINKING COKE!

Copy and Paste... Gotta love the randomness

ANIME IS MY ESCAPE FROM REALITY 'CUZ REALITY SUCKS!! If this is you copy and paste to your profile then add your name! Kawaii Chibi-kun, Xx Falcon's Eye xX, red-eyedgal, Lee Wolf 10, Sweet Nightmare's Good Byes, X0Hannah0X, Tsarina Torment, 4000kills, icyprincess1, Marshmellowtime, MezmorizeHypno,

If you have ever been so wrapped up thinking about anime, anime fan art, or anime fanfictions that you zoned out and came back to reality 5 minutes or more later with no idea of what's going on, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list. Athame Kunoichi, Sugarmonkey778, A Ninja Named Frank, Banryuwielder244, angelic memories, philippinocherryblossom, Nyanonymous, craZy_goth_friendZ, jinxedpixie kindalkiddwashere AkatsukiFreak31, Lady Yuuki, icyprincess1, Marshmellowtime, MezmorizeHypno

7 reasons not to mess with kids

Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”

Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS... S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS... ,
... ... ... ...sS. ... SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .SSSSSSs.. ... SSs ,
... ... ... ...S. ... .SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... SSSSS..SSSS... s
... ... ... ... SSs ... ...SSSSSSSSS ... sS
... ... ... ... .SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS. ..s SS
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSssSSSSsSS
... ...sSs
... ..s... ...
... ... ..0... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

Behind every untrusting girl is someone who made her that way & she's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone who said they'd never leave...left just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe -- she's really good at lying

After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone

When Life Gives you Lemons, Make Lemonade!
When life gives you mayonnaise... throw it back and say, "B!TCH I ASKED FOR LEMONS!!"
When life gives you lemons throw them back and demand vodka.
When life gives you vodka, call all of your friends for a party.
When life gives you lemons ,it wants you to make lemonade. When life gives you apples, its trying to scare your doctor away.
When life gives you lemons, call him a pervert and ask if he reads fanfiction.
When life gives you oranges, ask what is with his obsession with citruses.
When life gives you lemons, it wants you to make lemonade. When life gives you oranges, it wants you to make orange juice. When life gives you apples, it want you to make apple juice. And when life gives you grapes, it wants you to get drunk.
When life life throws you lemons and it hits you in the eye, tell everyone you know "life is a bitch"
When life chucks lemons at you and hit hits you where it really hurts, squish the lemons and tell everyone, "life hurts you where it hurts you most" When life gives you lemons, cut them up and squeeze it in your water and plant the leftovers seeds. It will grow into a tree eventually! When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in some ones eyes. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives me lemons, I squirt lemon juice in life’s eyes. When life gives you lemons you make grape juice , then sit back and let the world wonder how in the seven hells you did it. When life gives you lemons, thank them and make some lemonade. When life gives you lemons plant one of the seeds and tell life, "Ha! Beat that!"

OKAY!! Who is this LIFE and why is he throwing stuff at People? It probably Hurts!!
Of course it does!
And repost this if you hate Life (and add your own quote to 'Life and Lemons')

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Why do we say we “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every hour and a half?

Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise?

Instead of “All things in moderation,” shouldn’t it be “Some things in moderation”?

Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”?

Why is it called quicksand when it sucks you down very, very slowly?

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

If you got a problem, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it...or you could just jump in and drown yourself

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself...oh, dang I just repeated myself.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Work is blackmail for survival.

Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys...unless you have a sword and threaten to cut their heads off if they trample you.

When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later...it's more fun that way.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injection if you're just gonna die anyway?

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode and I'd die of laughter.

Fun flies when you're doing time.

When all else fails, use duct tape.

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think

Female Comebacks

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing

Man: If you were my homework I'd do you on the table. Woman: If you were my homework i'd put you in the trash can.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry

that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry

That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry

That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry

that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry

That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"

I'm sorry

That I am actually nice; not a jerk

I'm sorry

I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry

I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry

I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.

I'm sorry

That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date

I'm sorry

That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry

That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry

If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry

If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry

that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry

If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry

For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry

That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry

I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry

I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry

That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry

That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry

That I cared

I'm sorry

that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"

Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

It's not about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about

screaming with the thunder, running with the lightning, and learning to dance in the rain.

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

I'm not shy, I'm just quietly plotting you imminent doom.

Adults always blame our generation, but have they ever stopped to think who raised us? Copy and paste if you agree!

If you get a kick out of fire, fireworks, explosions, and things that burn or go boom, copy and paste this into your profile!
PYROMANIA- Pass it on!

The one who smiles the most is the one who's the most broken.
The one who fights the most is the one who wants to find peace.
The one who encourages others is the one who always feels useless.
The one who seems insane is the one who is just following a life no one else understands, or will ever believe.
Nor do they want to.
Not everything is as it seems. Remember that.

I didn't steal it I just borrowed it without permission and with no intention of giving it back...ever...

I've got a shovel and an acre of land. I don't think anybody will miss you.

Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

Today, I'm giving out butt-kickings and lollipops and I'm all out of lollipops

Stress is when you wake up screaming, and then realize that you haven’t fallen asleep yet

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. -unknown

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

There cannot be a crisis this week!; my schedule is full.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That that is, is. That that is not, is not. That that is is not that that is not, and that that is not is not that that is.

If I had any dignity left that would have been humiliating.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'
He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face.It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation.I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
You now have two choices, you can :1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1.

List 12 random characters in any order and then answer the questions about them.\

1. Yusei Fuudo (Yu-Gi-Oh 5ds)

2. Dom (Fast and the Furious)

3. Jack Sparrow (how could you not know?)

4. Jason Bourne (...Jason Bourne?)

5. Lucy Camden (7th Heaven SHUT UP IT'S A GOOD SHOW!)

6. Izaya Orihara (Durarara all the way man!)

7. Johnny Storm (Fantastic 4)

8. Crow (Yu-Gi-Oh 5ds)

9. Winry Rockbell (Fullmetal Alchemist)

10. Artemis Fowl (Duh, Artemis Fowl.)

11. Aria (Pretty Little Liars)

12. Suigetsu (Naruto)

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? ARIA IS TAKEN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND IZAYA...just imagining that is wrong...*shiver*

2. Do you think four is hot? How hot? Oh, yeah dude, hotter than 100 degree hot, he is HOTNESS in itself.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? ...One of them has to be on estrogen and it would be, like, an orange-haired half-shark duelist thing...OHMIGAWD THAT WOULD BE THE END OF THE WORLD IF THAT HAPPENED!

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? I don't particularly like fics about her eexcept this one where Edward and Al are on the run or something, but now I can't find it and this reminded me and now I'm sad! WAAH! *huddles in emo corner with anime depression lines above head*

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR MIND!? DOM AND IZAYA? Dom would annoy Izaya to death, then kill him for reelz when Izaya ticks him off in an unexplained car accident involving a cliff!

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? 5/10!!!! Then at least Lucy isn't stealing Ed's girl and I think Artemis needs a gf anyway.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? WHERE'S YOUR HUMANITY PEOPLE!? HELL WOULD FREEZE OVER, THEN OUT OF JOHNNY'S HORROR HE SCRATCHES OUT HIS EYES AND FLAMES ON DESTORYING THE WHOLE FREAKIN HOTEL WHILE DOM WONDERS-wtf? Why am I even answering this question? What are you smoking and where can I get some for you to even THINK that?

8. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? ...No. Crow is mine and I will personally eliminate ANYONE who gets in my way...hmm...Yusei's kinda cute too though...Only in the minds of the emotionally deranged is there such a thing and unfortunately I have seen such people.

9. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. The Storm before the Shark Attack

10. Does anyone on your friends' list think three 's hot? Uh, yeah, almost everybody! Jack is da bomb itself, it go boom and ya'lls die so me and him live happily ever after. Haha suckers! Beat that!

11. Does anyone on your friends' list write or draw Eleven? No, they're more interested in anime or manga.

12. Would anyone on your friends' list write Two/Four/Five? GOD NO!

13. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Umm...Either My First Kiss by 3OH!3 ft. Kesha or Stereo Hearts by My Heart. Or Deer In the Headlights by Owl City, or More than a Band by Bridgit Mendler, maybe Your Love Is A Lie by Simple Plan, or I Like That Girl by Leon Thomas, or No News by Lonestar, or maybe As She's Walking Away be the Zac Brown Band...or ...whoops...I go a little overboard when I'm talking about music. Sorry.

14. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Warning: Whoever wishes to live and not be emotionally/spiritually scarred DO NOT ENTER FOR THIS IS HELL ON EARTH AND DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOU IGNORE THIS!

15. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Like a week ago

16. 1 and 8 are in a happy relationship until 5 runs off with 9. After 8 dumps 1 for 2, 6 gets upset and retaliates by dating 12. Alone and broken-hearted, 1 travels in search of a friend. Finally, 1 meets 4 and 7. The three loners meet 10, who tells each of them to look for love. 4 finds 3, 7 gets 11, but now 1 is in a never-ending love triangle with 6 and 12! ...No comment...

Did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It's good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.
Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide a hickeys...not that you have any.
Boys aren't worth your tears.
We all love surprises.
Now...make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH!
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection.. .again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

18. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

95% of Naruto fangirls in the world would cry if Sasuke was about to jump off a cliff, 4% would pull out a chair and some popcorn. Put this on your profile if you'd be one of the 1% that'd would run across and shove the guy off the cliff.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to Scissors? Forget Scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because Paper can't beat anybody, a Rock would tear that crud up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

If you wanna WHACK the Cartoon Network people for canceling Teen Titans, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE, GET A BAT AND FOLLOW ME!!

I don't get straight A's, I don't try on all my projects, I don't behave, I backtalk, I'm not popular , but at least I have real friends, that are their for me. Put this on your profile if your 100% against popularity.

ALRIGHT EVERYONE!!!! ON A SERIOUS NOTE THE GOVERNMENT ACT OF SOPA HAS MESSED WITH US!!! THEY OPENLY DECLARED A STATE OF WAR AGAINST US FAN!FANS!!!! MEGAVIDEO IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE MUST ALL BAN TOGETHER! I DONT CARE WHAT FANDOM YOU ARE A PART OF, BECAUSE FOR ALL WE KNOW FANFICTION MIGHT BE NEXT!!!!!!! WE CAN NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!!! IF YOU BELIVE THAT SOPA IS VIOLATING OUR RIGHTS COPY AND PASTE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE!! GRAB A BAT AND FOLLOW ME!!!!

And I see we have an addition to the team. Was she subjected to a background check, an exacting series of standarized tests to measure her powers, and a sequence of personality interviewes to determine her mental fitness?

Na, we just let her in.

Oh, good. I was worried things had changed.

Never get into an argument with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Don’t piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

You're just jealous coz the voices only talk to me!

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not smiling at you I'm trying not to laugh!

First law of science: don't spit into the wind.

First law of nature: Don’t eat the yellow snow.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in your enemies’ eyes!

What do you do when an Edward Cullen fangirl who's been shot is standing in front of you? Stop laughing and reload.

When Life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice and let Life wonder how the heck you accomplished THAT!

Flirt like a butterfly, sting like a genetically modified, half-shark killer DEATH BEE!

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet; when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-cat-a-ray, we could power entire metropolitan area. (This. Is. GENIUS!)

"Two things in the world are indefinite, the universe and people's stupidity. And I'm not sure about the first."--Albert Einstein

Suicide is our way of saying to God, "You can't fire me! I quit!"

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy, yet guys only want one thing from many girls. No wonder so many relationships go up in flames.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

People like you are the reason there are middle fingers.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I love having friends, they do so many things I can laugh at.

In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the heck do people still tell me to have a nice day?

GOOD FRIEND VS. BEST FRIEND

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper "you will die in seven days..."

A good friend will help you up when you fall. A best friend will trip you again and/or sit on your back to keep you down.

A friend will visit you in jail. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A friend will leave you if that's what the crowd is doing. A good friend will follow you. A best friend will kick the crowd's butt for leaving you.

A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they're after me in the first place.

A good friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will help me kidnap the band.

A good friend will help me learn how to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car in the lake to collect insurance.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have been hit in the face by every ball known to man, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If youve ever tried to drink from a straw, and the straw went everywhere BUT yer mouth (ie: cheek, eye, chin, nostril), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity...it still works.

Secret admirer? More like a stalker with stationary.

A computer once beat me at checkers, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Nobody's going to win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Amateurs bult the Ark, professionals built the Titanic.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

If Walmart is lowering prices daily, then how come none of it is free yet?

I didn't loose my brain, I sold it on Ebay!

If annoyed furhter, I shall spork your eyes out! It's painful.

Boys are like lava lamps. Fun to watch, but not too bright.

According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless. (Does that include this one?)

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions, if:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8118423151811 = 98 percent

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11141523125475 = 96 percent

But...

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

120209202145 = 100 percent

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2211212198920 = 103 percent

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1191911919199147 = 118 percent

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, ATTITUDE will get you there. But its really the BULLSHIT and the ASSKISSING that will put you over the top.

-／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
-l、ﾞ ヽ
-じしf, )ノ This is Neko. Copy and paste Neko help him on his way to world domination!

Put this in your profile
if you love to laugh!

Put this on your
page if you love
Naruto!

(Put this on your page if you love music)
(o) MUSIC

Got a problem with me?
Solve it.
Think I'm trippin?
Tie my shoe.
Can't stand me?
Sit down.
Can't face me?
Turn around.
Love me?
Great!
Hate me?
Even better!

THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx,uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan,Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai,Ebil Chameleon ., XweaponsXmistressX, Sakura-Sasuke-love-em' , SASUXSAKUFREAK, PinkBlossem, Shadow Princess, CherryBlossoms, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, uchihasakura285, Could-careless, NejiSakuFan, xXHyuugaSakuraXx, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3, PeinSaku, Vampgal212, MezmorizeHypno

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whats so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, WhiteWinged Alchemist, DeiDei-kunsgirl,Foxfeather1337,Saditic-Bitch, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3, PeinSaku, Vampgal212, MezmorizeHypno

Naruto for Rokudaime Hokage! If you also want Naruto to succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage, copy and paste this to your profile page, and add your name to the list! Help Naruto achieve his dream!: KinKitsune01, adngo714, MarlinMan, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, NaruHinaxNejiTen, NaruHinaFanboy, Hinata110, 3Kiyoshi3, aero13, OokamiAkuma2297, Vampgal212, MezmorizeHypno

If you wish Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Hidan and Kakuzu didn't have to die, copy and paste this onto your profile andadd yourname: Sand Siblings Rule, Chocolate random pie10, SakuraAkatsuki101, HiHi-Ai!,aero13, OokamiAkuma2297 (They are all HOT as hell!), Vampgal212 (Hidan is one smexy beast!), MezmorizeHypno (Psh, the Akatsuki is what makes Naruto interesting)

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.

1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great...Fa Kin Su Pah

You Know You're Addicted to Naruto When:

1) You graduate high school and you proclaim yourself an ANBU.

2) You fight someone and try to hit their chakra points. (Unfortunately it didn't work out so well, but pressure points are the next best thing.)

3) You can spout a random character quote on command. ("Troublesome")

4) You list ANBU as current occupation on a job application.

5) You draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a hole in the wall with it. (My cousin thought it was funny...)

6) You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Itachi WHY?" (Yeah why did you have to leave Sasuke alive!! It was just one more life!! Come on! You shoulda been more thorough!)

7) You get bit by a snake and decide that stabbing the wound is a good idea. (Apparenly that makes me a masochist in need of therapy...)

8) You leave for two years and come back acting like you're cooler and smarter. (Whose acting?)

9) You paint the kanji 'love' on your forehead and claim that you can control sand.

10) You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun. (...They actually get along very well...)

11) You do something stupid and claim that you were being controlled by the Shadow Possession Jutsu. (That was NOT my fault! Shikamaru came back in spirit form to haunt me...nah, he'd be too lazy...luckily my parents don't know this)

12) You yell out "Wind Shuriken: Throw of Death!" when throwing a frisbee. (I seriously freaked my dog out...he's used to someone saying 'fetch' *pansies...*)

13) You try to kill your brother everyday. (Every day? Ha! It's an hourly thing for me.)

14) You keep alcohol in your mouth then spit it out with a match in front of your mouth to create a fireball.

15) You poke people in their butts and yell "A thousand years of pain!" (It'ds called sexual harassment now)

16) You paste Naruto's face on pictures of your friends and claim to have met him.

17) You draw a swirl on your palm and claim to be able to do Rasengan.

18) In the middle of the night, you blast a flashlight into your dad's eyes and yell "Chidori!" (I got grounded...)

19) You stay up all night claiming the Shukaku will eat you. (He's the monster that hides under my bed)

20) Every time your class goes on a field trip, you say you're going on a mission. (The James Bond song goes well with infiltrating the shark tunnel at the aquarium.)

21) You yell '"Konoha Senpu!" when kicking a soccer ball.

22) You paint your skin red and claim that you can open the third chakra gate.

23) You call your teacher 'Iruka-sensei.'

24) You go to school wearing a forehead protector and claim it is the latest trend from the Hidden Leaf Village. (...It's a fashion statement...)

25) You keep paper shurikens in your bag. (Who said anything about PAPER shurikens?)

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: 'H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O'.

TEACHER:What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: Now Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No Miss, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: Clyde, your report on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No Miss. It's the same dog.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

If you find that sweet and touching copy and paste it to your profile.

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"

Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"

Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"

Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"

Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"

Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"

Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"

Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

-What the gesture means...-

Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other"

Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"

Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"

Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"

Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"

Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"

Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"

Picking someone up off their feet = "I love you fully and would do anything for you"

-Advice-

Don't ask for a kiss, take one

If you were thinking about someone while reading this, you're definitely in Love.

-Requirements-

Post this again after reading!

Or you will have a bad year of Relationships!

If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now and can't get them out of your head, then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you.

Repost this as 'WHAT A KISS MEANS'

Karin is so ugly, not even Naruto can believe it!

Karin is so fat, not even the Byakugan can see through her.

Karin is so stupid, she took a shit thinking it would open the '8 inner gates'.

Karin is so old, Gai dropped his 'Power Of Youth' philosophy on the spot.

Karin is so ugly, when she passed by Hinata, Hinata yelled "Daaayuummmmm!"

Karin is so ugly, Itachi felt like his eyesight was diminishing when he saw her.

Karin is so ugly, she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again when he saw her.

Karin is so fat, she made fun of Chouji saying he was 'skin and bones'.

Karin is so ugly, Kakashi voluntarily gave her his mask.

Karin is so stupid, she couldn't find any of the 'Hidden' Villages.

Karin is fat, it took a whole beach for Gaara to use his Sand Coffin on her.

Karin is so ugly, the Nine-tails fled in fear.

Karin is so ugly, it's forbidden just to transform into her.

Karin is so fat, Tazuna considered using her as the bridge to the mainland.

Karin is so ugly, when Orochimaru saw her, he suddenly felt good about himself.

Karin is so fat, not even Zabuza's sword could cut through her in one hit.

Karin is so ugly, when the other girls saw her, they all ran for Lee.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Star Signs State Which One You Are In Bold

AQUARIUS- The Sweetheart (Jan 20-Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but can be original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

PISCES- The Dreamer (Feb 19-Mar 20) Generous, kind and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secrative and vague. Sensitive. Doesn't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Symathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

ARIES-The Daredevil (Mar 21- Apr 19) Energetic. Advernturous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse (easily angered). Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

TAURUS- The Enduring One (Apr 20-May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their own way. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to furious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

GEMINI- The Chatterbox (May 21-June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptible but needs to express themselves. Arguementive and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial and inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.

CANCER- The Protector (June 21-July 22) Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from everyone. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

LEO- The Boss (July 23-Aug 22) Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Likes to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to the Leo's. Attractive.

VIRGO- The Dominant Perfectionist (Aug 23-Sept 22) In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Arguementive. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hard working. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

LIBRA- The Harmonizer (Sept 23-Oct 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. (ha, ya right, hardly any of these qualities are correct)

SCORPIO- The Intense One (Oct 23-Nov 21) Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hard working. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and emotional.

SAGITTARIUS- The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22-Dec 21) Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up. Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsiblities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

CAPRICORN- The Go-Getter (Dec 22-Jan19) Patient and wise. Practiacl and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competitions. Get what they want.

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1 Scary Way To Break Up

One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important.

Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he kicked her out, pushed her in the lake and yelled, "I'm breaking up with you, you awful BITCH! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your fucking life! DUMBFUCK!"

He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got home went in a hot bath, Sarah slit her wrists and died from bloodloss in the bathtub.

Her parents yelled and screamed at her to get out until they finally broke the door down. They saw no body, but the entire bathroom was dripping with her blood. Her mom went insane and killed herself three days later, her dad is now in prison, accused of his wife's murder.

Later that week, Sarah's ex boyfriend was taking a shower when she came from the drain, rotting and bloody, with a razor in her hand and said "Goodbye Jason." She cut his throat before he could scream.

If you do not repost this with the title, you are a heartless fucker and Sarah will come to you in the shower from the drain, and will kill you the same way she killed her boyfriend. 24 people have broken this chain and died.

You have 13 minutes...

Hello, I am Scarlett, an average girl that was murdered, I will grant you a wish, but before that you must grant mine...

How? You may ask, all I ask is that you repost this onto your profile, so people may actually acknowledge me, for once...

I was brutally bullied by many people in my class, every year it was the same, day in and day out, I was hiding in the shadows, hurting painfully for such a long time...

That was until I couldn't take it anymore...

I asked a boy in class to kill me, obviously anyone with a good sense of mind would keep me alive, but I was despised by everyone. He immediatly agreed, grinning like the maniac I never knew he was going to become...

I told him the date. And gave him the large knife my mother used to cut my 6th birthday cake, that was the year I had started to be kicked, punched, slapped, Etc...

Ironic, right?..

Although it still haunts me...

Why was it ME that was HATED? HUH? WHY was it ALWAYS me?..

Oh well...

I met him by the river, the place my disceased body will be drifting down in just a matter of minutes...

He came, and sliced me slowly, I could tell he was enjoying this by his wicked smile, his crazily wide eyes and the look in them...

It was painful, everywhere I looked has seeping cuts, this didn't hurt as much as the looks of hatred that was always aimed at me though, so he continued...

I was gone by midnight. Finally forever sleeping in the land of dreams...

Although the boy grew up to be mad, killing everyone he could in the same way as me, Im sorry...

It was my fault he turned out like this...

I was his first kill, leading him on with my depressed state must have encouraged him...

Please repost this to your profile, or else the mad boy with the crazed grin will get you!..

And it'll be all my fault...

Once again...

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask; "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you 'Admiral'.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?", and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!", then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate them all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering; "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says 'Human Head' on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it... Quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - Don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in a 'Who wants to be a millionaire' style; "Is that your final answer?"

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "You should be ashamed of yourself!" and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice; "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time."

What to do at a Movie Theater

Take 20 minutes trying to figure out what you want when you're at the front.

Throw popcorn at the screen and at the person in front of you.

Talk really loud.

If anyone else makes a peep, yell "Be quiet! I'm trying to watch the movie!"

Constantly ask the person in front of you if they're liking the movie.

If anything even a tiny bit scary happens, start screaming.

Squeal really loud whenever the characters kiss.

Kick the chair in front of you.

Make loud slurping sounds with your drink.

Laugh hysterically at unfunny parts.

Spill the persons drink beside you. If it touches you scream "Ew! Get it off of me!"

When you leave ask everyone, "Wasn't that fun?"

There Were Three Girls...

They were looking through peoples MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one MySpace.

It had creatures in the background and the man looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said...

SatanStalker: So how do you like my MySpace?

XxLoVemExX: What?

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?

SatanStalker: Well, you should know; you're looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that Im looking at your pro?

SatanStalker: I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesn't make any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs, might I say.

At the time the girl was wearing high shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover whatever she could. Her and her friends started to get worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok, whatever man, you're starting to scare the living shit out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldn't want an ugly guy like me touching your legs, huh? I mean thats what you just said about me with your friend like a minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man, just block him, he's a fucking psycho!

The Girl: Ok, holy crap, you think he's watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: And, it wouldn't really matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldn't stop me from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, you're alone, so its not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok, I think Im going to leave now because you're freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says love me, trust me, that wont' be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really scared.

Friend: Whatever, lets just go upstairs, trust me, I doubt he's really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said anything.

She opens it and finds her friend there on the ground dead. She started to scream but when she turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom; her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. With her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two minutes, here will be three men; one in your bathroom, one in your room, and one killing your parents at that very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

101 Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Run up to an employee (Preferrably a Male...) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!"
6. Try on bra's in the sewing/fabric department.
7. Try on bra's over your clothes.
8. Make a trail of tomato juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms
9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy!"
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in your most serious and official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn the volumes to their loudest setting and switch them off.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move 'Caution: Wet Floor' signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
24. Nonchalantly 'test' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin-To the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell 'hello' upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!)
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
43. Two words: "Marco Polo."
44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
45. 'Re-alphabetize' the CD's in Electronics.
46. In the auto department, practice your 'Madonna' look with various funnels.
47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "The fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl/guy, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not puting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can 'catch' from the other aisles.
58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."
59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially through thin/narrow aisles.
62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a 'test drive.'
68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.
70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.
71. Play a game of indoor freeze-tag.
72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window, "The British are coming!"
73. Have a team race with your friends-One person sits in the cart, the other pushes.
74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices
75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane.
76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)
77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saYng "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"
78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight.
79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.
80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.
81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section.
82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.
83. Take your boyfriend/girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.
84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (Don't try it on a chick, it wont work...), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.
85. If people aren't looking at their cart, steal it.
86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smiley face!"
87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.
88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught.
89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.
90. Repeatedly say "The clowns are not eating me."
91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.
92. Re-arrange items as you see fit.
93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.
94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs
95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face. (Only the opposite sex...)
96. Do #95 but with the same sex (Not recomended...)
97. Grab stickers that say 'radioactive' and put them randomly on food items.
98. Follow someone until they notice.
99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7-up commercial.
100. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.
101. Record yourself while having sex, then have it play over and over again in the middle of a clothes rack.