Live life your way. Don't live the life chosen for you if you don't want it.

Be beautiful

S. W. A. G. Something we Americans Got

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love animals, copy and paste this to your profile.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life then why are you worried?

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that annoying Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a sentence, copy and paste this into your profile.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

-90 percent of teens today would die if Myspace or Facebook had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile.

-93 percent of teens would have an emotianal breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would say, "What was your first clue?" Copy and paste this into your profile.

-Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile.

-Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

-92 percent American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was not cool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

6. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

7. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

9. Pardon my driving, I am reloading.

10. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

11. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

12. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

13. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

14. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

15. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

16. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

17. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

18. Shin: A device for finding furniture.

19. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

20. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

21. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

22. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

23. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

24. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask directions.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

They say the truth will set you free, so why is it that whenever I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. YAY!

Don’t mess with me: I've got a stick.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, then it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
somethings wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!"

My mother taught me REASON
"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident"

My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times--Don't
exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY!
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS
"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn out just like you!

When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

When life gives you lemons, steal your sister’s apples

When life gives you lemons, throw them at your sister’s friends and hope it hits them in the eye.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell ‘I HATE LEMONS YOU MORON!’

When life gives you lemons, say hey, I like lemons, got anything else for me?

When life throws you lemons... throw something harder back!

Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is gonna suck!