Lets start at the beginning. I am Somaster. I will tell you no more than that regarding my identity because the CIA of four countries are currently looking for me as we speak.
Yes, the rumors are true. I am an elf, a very short elf that is. Researching my family tree has led me to the conclusion that I am (very) distantly related to Haldir.

I do have an email account and an AOL screenname but I hardly ever go on so there is no real point in trying to instant message me.

As of now, I am 13 years old. I have a younger brother whose number one priority is to terrorize me. Because I will be in more trouble than I am in now, I cannot strangle him or do anything that will get him off my nerves.

Firstly (is that a word?), I am planning to get a kitten. I do have an imaginary pet fish who was imaginarily eaten by my imaginary pet snake. I don't know if snakes eat fish but it is imaginary so that's that. So right now, I have an imaginary ghost fish and an imaginary snake. I will not disclose to you their names, which are Pappy and Skarla.

Skarla slithers in followed by a floating Pappy. They wave hi to the audience and leave*
*Since when can snakes wave?*

My favorite books are Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Artemis Fowl and quite a few others.

My favorite hobbies are archery and fencing (considering that I am an elf)
I am obsessed with the Lord of the rings...you may notice some of that. I am also obsessed with Legolas Greenleaf, from the Lord of the Rings. I am also obsessed with Orlando Bloom, who plays Legolas, from the Lord of the Rings. I am also obsessed with the other characters played by Orlando Bloom, including Will Turner from the Pirates of the Caribbean. I am also obsessed with the Matrix but not as obsessed as Iceunia who is writing crazy stories about Nikko in the Matrix. Heads up for any stories like that (i am warning you now).

Audience blinks twice*

I have three friends that I know of who also have accounts on fanfiction/fictionpress. Too bad I won't tell you who they are.

In February, my family is whisking me away to the house of some random relatives so I will be away from all you chums at Fanfiction for one whole week.

Well, for now, that's my bio. I hope you were bored out of your socks reading it. Goodbye for now and I trust that you will not disclose my identity to the CIA if you ever happen to find out.

Audience awakens from a fitful slumber and claps *

Toodles, Somaster the elf.