Favorite Books

The PJO (Rick Ridorian)

The Red Pyramid (Rick Ridorian)

The lost Hero (Rick Ridorian)

The Giver (Lois Lowry

Wringer (Jerry Spinelli)

Elijah of Buxton (Christopher Paul Curtis)

Celebrities try all there live to become popular then once they are they hide behind dark sunglasses so they can't be noticed. ~Anonymous

Close doesn't count except in horseshoes and hand grenades. ~Anonymous

Probability shows if your parents don't have kids you won't either. ~Anonymous

You cry, I cry you laugh, I laugh you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder. ~Anonymous

today, I found a sticker on a some bananas that said "guilt free snacking” I then go and put that sticker on my bowl of ice cream. ~Anonymous

Come to the dark side, we have cookies. ~Anonymous

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. ~Mitch Hedberg

When it is cold you can see your breath but I make sure I breath though my nose so I am like a dragon. ~Anonymous

What if you get scared half to death twice? ~Anonymous

"nothing is impossible" said Greg "ohh yeah then go slam a revolving door" ~Anonymous

When live gives you lemons, make grape juice then let the world wonder how you did it. ~Anonymous

I figured out what ruined my live, it is other people. ~Dilbert

War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left. ~Chinese Proverb

Be nice to people they out number you 5.5 billion to one. ~Anonymous

Flying is simple just throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Anonymous

They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" I don't think you'd kill many people. ~Anonymous

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is. ~Anonymous

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything. ~Anonymous

Forecast for tonight: darkness. ~Anonymous

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do? ~Anonymous

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. ~Anonymous

How come when you mix water with flour, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? ~Anonymous

MOST OF MY QUOTES HAVE COME FROM OTHER FANFICTION READERS THANKS FOR THE LAUGH

The Percy Jackson Pledge:

I promise to remember Percy
whenever I am at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes to me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says "free pony ride"
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Talia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fight
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
Whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car
Yes I promise to remember PJO
whenever I may go

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing “Let’s all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gunshot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by them self.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room.

Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can hear it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cell phone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

Forty Ways to Worry the Pizza Boy

1. While you are you are making an order, randomly start pressing the numbers on the phone and tell the guy to stop doing it.

2. Make up a credit card name and ask if they accept it.

3. Ask for a Big Mac, French fries and a Large Coke.

4. Finish the order with: “Remember, this conversation never happened”.

5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.

6. Just give him your address and say “Surprise me”. Then hang up.

7. Answer his questions with other questions.

8. Spell the ingredients.

9. Stutter every time you say something with the letter “P”

10. Ask him if they have pizza.

11. Say “Hello” and act as if he called you.

12. Make your order being very decided and secure, then when he asks you if you would like a drink with the pizza, act as if you were confused.

13. Change your accent every 5 seconds.

14. Ask for 56 pepperoni slices followed by an equation.

15. If he repeats the order to make sure, say “Ok, it’s 17.90, please proceed to the next window to pick up your order”.

16. Explain him that you want to rent a Pizza.

17. Ask if you can keep the box. When he answers yes, make a huge sigh of relief.

18. Ask him if they exploit child labor.

19. Tell him to make sure that your pizza is dead.

20. Imitate the voice of the guy taking the order.

21. Eliminate the verbs of everything you say.

22. Tell him that there’s a surprise party at yours and that you would appreciate if the delivery boy could hide behind the couch until the celebrated one comes in to surprise him/her.

23. Ask if you could see the menu.

24. Warn them that they have no idea of what they are dealing with by supplying this order.

25. Ask him which ingredient is better for a meal with a specific type of wine.

26. Burp and then tell your dog that he should be ashamed.

27. Ask only for one slice.

28. Psychoanalyze the guy taking the order.

29. Complain about the service. Call again two hours later saying that you were drunk and that you are sorry about what you said.

30. Tell the guy taking the order to tell the one in charge to tell the supervisor that he’s fired.

31. Randomly start talking to someone who is apparently next to you.

32. Stop speaking every 10 seconds and start playing an instrument.

33. Tell a secret code to the guy taking the order and tell him to memorize it for orders you’ll make in the future.

34. Ask for mushrooms as the first ingredient, then before you hang up, say “no mushrooms please”. Then hang up before he can say anything.

35. When he repeats the order, correct him changing an ingredient, then correct him again, and again. The third time ask him if it’s his first day working there.

36. Breath loudly.

37. Ask him how many whales/dolphins had to die to make that pizza.

38. Avoid using the word “PIZZA” by any means. If the guy taking the order says it, hang up saying “Please, don’t use that word”.

39. Make the order during a car chase on TV. When there are gunshots, yell “Aaarghhh”

40. If the guy taking the order doesn’t take any of the previous jokes, ask him if there’s any other who would take them.

Did you know?

I cnduo't bvleiee taht I culod aulaclty uesdtannrd waht I was rdnaieg. Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Aaznmig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuot slelinpg was ipmorantt! See if yuor fdreins can raed tihs too.