14th Jan 2014

Here I am, visiting this site again after a year, just to have a quick read of my own stories. Gotta say, I haven't been writing anything much let alone stories so revisiting what I wrote when I was younger is pretty much like me reminiscing about the past haha. Damn, the nostalgia.

It's awesome reading the feedback you guys have given me - really.

My current reaction after rereading my own works:

Monster - This is actually my personal favorite. I have no idea how I pulled this off back then when I was 17 because I sure as hell can't write something like this now. Brb crying that I managed to complete something so coherent and meaningful (and yes I do say so myself). Also crying that this story is the least favorited out of my works. Maybe because it's gen and I didn't attach Squalo's name to it. But whatever - definitely my proudest. And I loved those beautiful reviews.

From X to S - Similar opinion to monster. Out of all my stories I feel that this one was executed the best. I also think this is the most IC fic I've written, and I feel like I've captured my interpretation of Squalo's character perfectly in this one (note: MY interpretation. Feel free to disagree). I'm a bit let down that this story & Monster actually got the least attention out of all the XS I've written, because these are the ones I liked best when reading them now.

Within Pandemonium - A highly flawed work (in my humble opinion), but I'm glad people liked it. It makes me happy to see all those long and detailed reviews. I didn't like my use of language in this story, and I kind of feel that Squalo is too...un-manly? Plot was kind of generic. No, I'm not dissing my own work (yet). I'm very proud of this story, mostly due to the amount of effort I put into it. I guess no matter how the end result turned out, I can't help loving something I've dedicated myself to, flaws and all. And people responded well and gave fantastic support so I'm glad I wrote this.

The Plain Truth (originally released in 2011) - OK I don't mean insult to anyone except myself but this story is a piece of shit (sorry to my younger self). This is definitely because the plot isn't mine. I took it from Ebiten's amazing doujinshi and decided to write a story with the exact same plot. Ugh, screw my 15-year-old self for doing that! What was I thinking! Yes, I am officially flaming my own story. When it got removed by the site I literally reacted along the lines of "good, I was looking for an excuse to delete this". But then it turns out that people actually liked the story - and I got a bunch of messages asking me to post it back up...so I did. I mean, guys, thanks for liking it so much (it's the most favorited story out of the bunch !!wtf!!), I really appreciate this and I guess I underestimated your taste for romantic stuff. But the fact is - I cringe when I read it now, I've gotta force myself to finish reading it without puking, and uh...I'm embarrassed that I ever wrote this crap. Which is why I feel I need to post this rant now even though it might annoy some people, but I have to make it clear - don't ever think that I like the story!! (But I'm glad a lot of people liked it in my place). I see all these reviews and there's this one particularly nasty one calling me "one dumbass bitch" left from someone anonymous - and 2 years ago I was like "screw you", but right now I pretty much agree with him/her since that's how I'd react if I ever came across this fic and it wasn't written by me. And I love those other reviews telling me exactly what the flaws in this story were. There was this anonymous one calling me out for "stealing the plot from Ebiten" and I don't know where this review went (I'm either blind or it's disappeared) but damn! I'm guilty as charged - and ashamed too. Obviously this is my least favorite story. Ever.

Emotions/A Long Night/Scumbags - nothing much to say about these two except that I wrote these in less than 30 minutes from the top of my head. This was obviously before I took fanfiction seriously. I just wrote whatever was in mind, so these might seem very childish and OOC. Not to mention the number of grammatical errors I spotted (ugh). Not going to fix those - I'm going to leave them there as a reflection of my writing style back then.

So yeah, just wanted to vent my feelings.

I've noticed that XS isn't as popular as it was a couple of years ago (and for good reason). But no matter what, as long as you took the time to read my story - I appreciate it!

-SlamShady

PS: I still stand by the opinion that OC-pairings are a waste of space. I'm glad the site now allows an OC-character "tag"... but that's pretty much pointless considering that certain authors lack the brain cells to label their fics properly. But I think I've outgrown fanfiction to be too butthurt about this.
PPS: Long live Squalo Superbi! Long live XS!