Age: Well i am older than 11 and younger than 20 so that is to say none of your buissness

Gender: Female

Name: Yea Right!

Favorite Books: Alex Rider, Twillight, Under the Blood Red Sun, Son of the Mob, Harry Potter, Amy #9, Maximum Ride, Princess Diarys (I dispise anything girly girly usually!!), Gallagher Girls, Daughter of the Moon, Sun of the Dark, Book Thift, Shakespear Stealer, Princess academy, The Veritas Prodgect

Favorite bands/singers/Actors: Dylan and Colse Sprouse, Ashley Tisdale, Brad Pit, Shine Down, Brittany Spears, Taylor Swift, Avril Lavnge, Alicia Keys, Hillary duff, Miley Cyrus(love her songs, hate her), Linkin Park, Aly and AJ, Vanessa Hudgens,

Favorite TV shows: Don't watch TV. Hey dond give me that look

Favorite Quotes:

"History doesn't repeat itself but it rhymes." Mark Twain

"Stop blowin' holes in my ship!"- Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

"I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!"- Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

"Mess with the best, die like the rest,"- Crash Override, Hackers

"Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end,"- Unknown

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

"Act your age and not your IQ!"- Unknown

Be OPTIMISTIC... all the people you hate are eventually going to die!!

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much

Con is the opposite of pro, so Congress the opposite of progress.

Sorry, but I’m in a rush. I’m going to try to kill one of your friends now, bye!

"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

“I don’t see you doing anything.” - “No, you don’t; but thinking doesn’t usually require much movement.”

Heaven kicked me out. Hell is afraid I'll take over.

I am fluent in English, Gobbledegook and Sarcasm

“Who died and made you Wolf?” (Anyone from the AR universe should get this)

Dont upset me - I'm running out of places to put the bodies.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.

My personal motto, ‘If you can’t beat them, join them; if you can’t join them, kill them; if you can’t kill them, blow them all to kingdom come!”

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

Caution! Blonde thinking.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

Simplicity killed the cat--Curiosity was framed.

A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

No Trespassers! Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire, God would never trust an Englishman in the dark. (No offense intended)

Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!!

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Normal people make good pets.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia-is the fear of long words

Death is God's way of saying, 'You're fired!' with no second chance. Suicide is humanity's way of saying, 'You can't fire me! I quit!

Where negotiation and diplomacy fail, high explosives substitute nicely.

Join The Army! Journey to exotic places, meet new people, then kill them.

I didn't say it was your fault, I just said I was going to blame you!

Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If a person with multiple personalities decides to commit suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?

What does OK actually mean?

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Jamie is like a slinkie... basically useless.. but yet so amusing to watch him fall down stairs!!

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and you LOSE that it's weird.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

The voices in my head are telling me I will get back to you as soon as they are done with me.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.

Dream as if you will live forever, Live as if its your last day.

The roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head

Job at the FBI

The FBI had an opening for an assassin

After all the background checks, interviews

And testing were done, there were 3 finalists;

Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of

The men to a large metal door and handed

Him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your

Instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting

In a chair .. . . Kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could

Never shoot my wife..'

The agent said, 'Then you' re not the right man

For this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.

He took the gun and went into the room. All was

Quiet for about 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,

But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't

Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the

Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the

Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one

After another. They heard screaming, crashing,

Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was

Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the

Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. ' I had to Beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL: WOMEN CAN BE EVIL, Don't Mess with them!!

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Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.You havent played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.

4.You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.

6.Your boss doesnt even have the ability to do your job.

7. You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

8.As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

9. And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.

11.& now youre laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.

So funny and True!

JOKES!!

A Blonde Joke
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Two Brazilian men have died in a skydiving accident."
The blonde starts crying and sobs to her husband, "That's horrible, so many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and knew there was risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says "How many is a brazillon?"

Man: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd out "u" and "i" together.
Woman: Really, I'd put "f" and "u" together.

Here is 30 things to do in an exam if you know your going to fail it anyway:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. (if someone actually does this please tell me)

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

20 Things To Do When You Drive Through A Drive Thru!

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.

2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.

3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.

4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.

5. Pay for a large order in pennies.

6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ordering just one item of your order each time you pass the window. For added fun, change clothes, hairstyles, glasses and fake beards with each pass.

7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.

8. Leave a big 4 litre bottle of ketchup on your dashboard. When asked if you would like ketchup with your meal, laugh sadistically for a few seconds, then adopt a serious expression and gesture to the bottle on your dashboard.

9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.

10. Drive up to the window. Then, without saying anything, produce a tape-measure. Measure all aspects of the window, make a note of the measurements in a notebook, then drive off.

11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come out, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"

12. When asked if they can take your order say, "No." Then wind up your window and just sit there staring straight ahead.

13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.

14. Order 10 large milkshakes. When they arrive, get out of your car, open the bonnet and pour 9 of the milkshakes into the oil filler. Place the remaining milkshake onto the pavement, and stare solemnly at it for three or four minutes with your head bowed. Then drive off. Circle the block for 1 minute, then drive back and do it again.

15. When asked to pay for your order produce a huge bucket of pennies. Attempt to hand the heap of change to the cashier, but 'accidentally' drop it all over the pavement. Spend 10-15 minutes picking it all up, then when you have collected it all, pay by credit card.

16. Attempt to barter for your food. Offer CDs, Cassettes or anything else you have in your car (including friends and family members).

17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.

19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.

20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.

10 THINGS TO DO IN A SHOPPING MALL!!

2. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.

3. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

4. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A Fire Extinguisher or Mace if desired.)

5. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

6. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

7. Hand a stack of under-pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".

8. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.

9. Try trousers on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

10. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."

A Mother's Teaching

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Annoying things to do on an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.