Hello, Peoples Who Read My Stories!!

I hope you enjoy my stories, they're not much, but I'm trying my best! Theyre are more stories on the way!! :)

Alright, I just got out of bootcamp but... my laptop committed Bobicide the day i left so i have to start over from scratch... Sorry that it'll be awhile before i update my current stories!!!!!

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Away from Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children." (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.