Anime Alert
Author has written 18 stories for Hetalia - Axis Powers, and Fullmetal Alchemist. HI!!!!!!! I just got this at 10:41 PM on Valentines day of 2013, so I'm really new. Onto all the lists... OTHER PLACES I INHABIT: NAME:I have so many names,it ain't even FUNNY. GENDER:Surprisingly, I am a girl. You'll see why its surprising in OCCUPATION. SIBLINGS:One super annoying older brother, a stepsister, and my adopted sisters.You know who you are. OCCUPATION:Student, Girlfriend, Assassin, Murderer, Marauder, Queen of the Dead, Queen of Self-Inflicted Pain, Co-President of Psycho Kids, Scout, Queen of Pranks(Especially the cruel and/or cold-hearted ones!), Queen of Quotes, Terrorist, Stalker, Queen of Pain Unto Others, Spy, Ghost, Creeper, Queen of Fear, Queen of the Smart Persons, Queen of the Realm, Dimensional, Queen of the Moon, Queen of the Night, Queen of Darkness, Queen of Shadows, Otaku, Blade Master, Queen of Demons, Demon Huntress GRADE:8th grader AGE:Use your dusty old brain,guys! ANIMES I LIKE: Hetalia, Inuyasha, Kaze no Stigma, Ouran High School Host Club, Fruits Basket, Fate Stay Night, Baka and Test, Chrono Crusade, Fullmetal Alchemist HETALIA OC: Name:Lehtheluhne Baynateh, but everyone who calls her by her human name just says Leth. Age:Looks like she's 12 Country: Ireland Role models:The versions of Fem.Norway and Tokyo(Also female)that my bestie, Gabby, came up with. Personality:Creepier than fucking RUSSIA, with a temper to match it. She can see magical creatures and do better magic then England, and CAN AND WILL bring you harm in many forms. She also once managed to piss off most of the world at once, but beat them all by using her many armies. (She's the nation version of me.)Oh,did I mention she's a vampire? Looks:Black hair to the middle of her back, with a heart-shaped curl on the right side of her head.Often wears all black clothing. Her eyes are usually blue, more like the sea than the sky, but she owns gold, lavender, emerald, black, and red contacts. She also has black dog ears on top of her head, don't ask why. Crushes: Mostly Japan, but also likes Spain. Likes: Books, killing, violence, intimidating everyone around her, scaring the shit out of everyone around her, being a really strong nation, anime, manga, going back in time, singing. Dislikes: France, world meetings, paperwork... stuff like that. And domestic matters, oh how she hates those. Oh, and if she gets near Russia...hide ASAP. Strengths: Swimming, combat, intimidation, time travel, being scary, singing. Weaknesses: Impatience, temper, impulsiveness... you get the idea. Catchphrases: "Fear me, I'm Irish!""I got 6 pounds of explosives in my backpack. Let's blow something up!"(If someone looks at her like she's crazy, which she is,she says, "I'm kidding,I'm kidding... I got TEN pounds.")"LET'S KILL SHIT!!!!!""If there's one thing you don't want to do, It's piss off a Dimensional..." NOTICES: Mein Attempt at a Story: No, it is not abandoned. Just taking a nap, like Greece. Magic Academy: When I get a nice review on all chapters, I'll update. Don't Stray: I'm just being lazy over typing, don't freak. Family Matters: I update every now and then. England's Mad Dream: I'm working on it. Prussia's Journal: It'll be continued eventually. Oneshots: I stink at these, but I have so many tiny plots that deserve to be written. ALERT! I am trying to write a REAL BOOK, so I will not be updating much. As in, less than normal. RANDOM CRAP I HAVE DISCOVERED ON OTHER PROFILES: Normal people: Don't believe in demons, there's no way they exist. Inuyasha Fans: Believe in them because they are in human form like Idiotic Sesshomaru-sama! Normal people: Don't believe in time travel. Inuyasha Fans: Shove those people down the bone eaters well. Normal people: Throw away a rusty old sword. Inuyasha Fans: Keep it! It could be Tetsusaiga! (Then Inuyasha'll come and get it!) Normal people: Wouldn't take the risk if it meant endangering themselves. Inuyasha Fans: Go for it! Inuyasha'll protect us! (Or Sesshomaru if you're a friend of Rin) Normal people: Don't care about the moon. Inuyasha Fans: Obsess over the moon. It's Inuyasha's time of the month. (Well that sounded wrong :P ) Normal people: Think animal parts on humans are freaky. Inuyasha Fans: Love animalistic features! Ears for Inuyasha! Tails for Sesshomaru and Koga! Fangs for all and claws for all! And Fox feet for Shippo-chan! Normal people: Call Inuyasha a childish cartoon. Inuyasha Fans: Instantly duck and cover as the demons take revenge... then join in. Or Even better, become assassins for those who dare to call it a cartoon! Normal people: Don't realize what the drop in temperature means. Inuyasha Fans: Know that Kikyo (the slut!!!) is lurking about eating souls of innocent women. (Zombie woman! Run for your lives! AHHHH!) Normal people: Say that money is power. Inuyasha Fans: Wave the Sacred jewel around and wish for more than that. (Maybe a boy character or two...) Normal people: Hit the person who just groped them and think they are sick. Inuyasha Fans: Know that it's only Miroku's incarnation or one of his lecherous decendants... (Then hit them anyway) Normal people: Don't think a boomerang could be a weapon. Inuyasha Fans: Introduce the non-believers to Sango in a rage. Normal people: Think long haired boys are girly. Inuyasha Fans: Wouldn't ever cut a teenager boy's hair if he looked like one of the hotties! Normal people: Wouldn't know why the wind suddenly blew them over. Inuyasha Fans: Know it's Kagura having a hissy fit when someone flirts with Sesshomaru. Normal people: Would suddenly find themselves knocked out when they flirted with Kagome. Inuyasha Fans: Would know better and would stay away from 'The hanyou's girl' on pain of death and a lot of Inuyasha beatings for being too close to his koishii. Normal people: Wouldn't copy and paste this because they wouldn't know what the hell this was about because they are NORMAL!! Inuyasha Fans: Would instantly copy and past this to show the world how proud they are to be Inuyasha fans and would reccomend it to all their friends! We Love it! How do you tell the difference between fake and real friends? FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. (glares at friends... this is why i take so much food to school, cause i usually end up giving some to you guys anyway...) FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn, that was fun. Let's do it again!" FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Kick the ass of whatever made you cry. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your junk so long they forget its yours. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Come on, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.” FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick their ass to hell and out! FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with the most vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE FRIENDS: Say no when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Talk on the phone or come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it You know your obsessed with InuYasha when... . You get a tattoo of a spider on your back . You get tattoos on your face like Sesshoumaru . You transplant doggy ears on your head . You grow your hair really long and dye it white . You grow your hair really long and dye it black . You sign up for archery lessons . You get your nails done and go around slashing at people yelling BLADES OF BLOOD! . You force your sister to bleach her hair white . You force your other sister to wear red contacts and carry a fan around . You buy a giant boomerang . Your laugh sounds like this: 'keh' . You despise everyone around you for being human . You carry a pelt around your shoulder and tell everyone it's a tail . You really really really want to train and grow up to be a monk or a priestess but your parents wont let you . You carry jingling staff around town touching women . You like guys with pointy ears and long hair . You like girls in school girl uniforms . You wear nothing but kimonos . You carry around a hair spray n spray it in other people's faces yelling POISON WHIP! . You look up your ancestral history to see whose reincarnation you are . You jump in to every well you see and get yelled at by the police . You buy a fox pet and name it shippo . You buy a cat pet n draw all over its body to make it look like Kirara . You name your children after the characters28. You move to japan . You buy a fake Shikon jewel and carry it around your neck, chanting . When you die you want to be cremated, just like Kikyo . You make your boyfriend get gold contacts and dye it white n buy him fake ears . You make your girlfriend short green skirts and green white n red top . Your nickname for your lover is fluffy . You shout SIT many times when you get mad . You miss all your exams . You know all there is to know about sengoku jidai. you're an expert. . You have a phobia of the new moon . You clutch your chest and fall over constantly . You eat instant ramen and udon every single day . You call yourself Lord of the Western Lands. That's how you head school papers. . You are afraid to look directly in a mirror because it'll steal your soul . You try to find where Kagome's shrine home is. Call your brother Sota even though it's not his name . You love fans. you always have one with you and if you see someone you don't like you wave it in front of them and say DANCE OF THE DRAGON! . You have your tailor make a taijiya outfit for you . An ambulance has to come and help you out of a well because 'a demon pulled you in' . You put on all red and run into a burning building, thinking that your 'Fire Rat Kimono' will stop you from burning up. . You make a list of reasons why InuYasha should choose Kagome over Kikyo . You try to do numerous stunts while wearing a short green skirt, thinking that it won't ever fly up. . You run into the woods and look around for anyone pinned to a tree with an arrow. . You get into trouble after pulling out your dog's tooth so you could 'give it to Totosai so he could make another Tetsusaiga' . You carry around a fluffy white boa . When your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is found kissing someone else you insist that it's only because you're only their reincarnation. . You get sent to the hospital when you were attacked by a stray dog when you tried to feel it's ears. . You put a rosary around someone that is bugging you, you tell them to sit and then get mad when they don't fall face-first onto the ground. . You grow out your nails, sharpen them, and then when someone pisses you off you just say 'Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!' . When it's storming out you scream that the Thunder Brothers are back and we have to save all the foxes! .You buy purple eye shadow and insist that it's the same kind Naraku wears. . When someone brings an oriental fan to school you destroy it and when you get in trouble you say that Kagura was going to kill everyone .When a guys comes up to you and says yo, it's Koga hoping that you'll be his woman .Walk in school with your hair in a bun with feathers in it .Go up to a guy that doesn't know you or remember you and say that 'you promised me you'll marry me' If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile. If you are against real fur on clothing, then put this on your profile. I'm an animé watcher/a manga reader, and I'm proud of it. If you are, copy and paste this line into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust. Man that is born of woman hath but a short time to live. I came to read, stayed to write. The pen may be mightier, but the sword still hurts like hell. Don't kill your enemies. Follow them home and slaughter their entire family! Jashinism I can trust only two things in this world. Myself, and my weapons. As for everybody else... well, they're the reason why I need weapons. This one is called, My Sister's such a Sissy My sister is a sissy This Poem is called A very boring day Today is very boring. There's a peacock on my sneakers. Today is very boring. I see giants riding rhinos, Today is very boring, FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it? FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "You will die in seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumbass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "DANG! We messed up!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!" FRIENDS: Will ask you where is everything in your kitchen BEST FRIENDS: Know your kitchen better then they know the one at their parents house. FRIENDS: Ask before they go into your room BEST FRIENDS: Randomly start cleaning up, because they know where everything goes FRIENDS: Will say sorry and hide when someone close gets kidnapped by a monster BEST FRIENDS: Say, " I got 6 pounds of explosives in my backpack... Let's find this thing and blow it to shit!" When you explain your predicament FRIENDS: Laugh with you and say "Nice Job" when you have to dance in front of the class BEST FRIENDS: Laugh, and never let you forget it. FRIENDS: Never borrow money... BEST FRIENDS: Borrow $20 and then say "What money? YOU owe ME." FRIENDS: Will give you your phone back BEST FRIEND: Will steal your phone, tie your shoes together, and videotape the result. FRIENDS: see you having a fight "wait a minute lets talk this out." BEST FRIENDS: "You didn't hit him hard enough he's still conscious." 95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!! If Justin Beiber was mysteriously kidnapped, 95% of girls would cry, 4.9% would run around screaming FUCK YEA!!!!, and 0.1% would be laughing their asses off as he hung over a pit of lava. Copy and paste this with a note of what percent you'd be in! 0.1% 98% of the girls in the world would die if Robert Pattinson was kidnapped. 1.9% of them would be laughing their socks off. 0.1% of them would be snickering and poking their new hostage with a stick. I would be in the 0.1% category! 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others. You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat. 97% of people would yell "STOP!" 2% of them would cheer, 1% of them would take the baseball bat and hit the kid then take the puppy to the Vet. Post this on you profile if you are that 1%... It isn't my fault that that boy died! I swear I wasn't trying to break his neck with the bat! Some people say they are big readers. That they're so into books it's not funny. However the only way to tell is if they 1) Suddenly gasp when something exciting happens in the book. 2) Start talking to the book because that's not how they want the book to go. 3) Hurl the book across the room when one of their favorite characters dies. 4) When you find out when the next book is coming out, you pre-order it... Even if the release date is next year. Copy and paste this if you are one of these people. I do all four... well, 1 and 2, sometimes 3, but never 4. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, monkyluvr, Darth KenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster,EwanLuvr4Ever, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, JaneVolturi, LOSTSOULOFTHEUNDERWORLD, DarkAngel620, Dithinus, Glitterthorn, PinkFuzzBall, Eien no Akumu, COOKIEMONSTER0077, Angel.of.Guilt, Lucy Ashley from Fairy Tail, Blueninjamanga22,Anime Alert. This is a true story A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your Kindness will be rewarded. If you start reading this... you can't go out *smiles evily* Once... There was a girl with long black hair... she was pretty. Very pretty. One day, someone pushed her in front of the mirror, thus making her head hit shards of glass... Blood scattered on the remaining shards. Her face remains in the mirror forever... and ever... and ever... Until she succeeds to kill her jealous murder. She will haunt you. Everywhere you go. In your dreams, on your street, on your phone... One day... when you look in a mirror, after reading this, she will appear. "You're not pretttyyyy..." she'll say. You'll die that day because of a shard stuck in your brain... If you post this on your profile, she will bother your worst enemy. You will be rewarded. BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. 30. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks 31. At least one girl always survives in horror movies 32. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly 33. Our magazines have horoscopes 34. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around 35. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm 36. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month 37. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have 38. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket 39. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing. 40: We can hit guys legally, but when THEY hit US, it's illegal. Be Against Abortion! Month One Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy, what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me! Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus’ arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. If you're against abortion, re-post this!!!!!! Her name was Aurora She was only five This is what happened When she was alive. Her daddy was a drunk, Her mommy was an addict, And both her parents kept her Locked up in an attic. Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair That were always falling out. She always talked to it When no one's around, She lays there and hugs it With not a peep of sound. Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg, A scar on her face, Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly cries; She loves her parents, But they want her to die. She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "God, why? Why is my life always sinking?" Such a bad life For a sad little kid, She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did. Then one night Her mom came home high, The poor child was hit and slapped As hours went by. Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade, sharp and pointy, One that she made For an occasion that was deadly. She thrust the blade Right in her chest, "You deserve to die You worthless pest!" The mom walked out, Leaving the girl slowly dying, She grabbed her bear And again started crying. Police showed up At the small little house. When they quickly barged in, All was quiet as a mouse. One officer slowly Opened up a door, To find the sad little girl Lying on the floor. It must have been bad To go through so much harm, But at least she died With her best friend in her arms. If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile!!!!! If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you are odd, and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile. If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile If you often laugh maniacally when you're all by yourself (Or are not so alone...), please copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever left one room to get something from another room, then once you were in the other room, forgot what you were trying to get, copy and paste this in your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, you hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Can you raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can slitl raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the hmaun mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this! If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you like to daydream,repost this. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225,CherryBlossoms016, SakuraUchiha14,Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan, Moonlight Music Mistress, Kannika, Midnight's Maiden62,SweetXcandyX,NightTeen14161821,Kagome-chan345,Inuyashagirlforfivelifetimesinthelandofhyrule,Anime Alert, I'm a girl who doesn't talk much in a social setting, that doesn't I don't cry when I get home if you treat me like crap. I'm a girl who doesn't have a group of friends, that doesn't mean I am ok with all the snide comments you say about me. I'm a girl who is shut off from the world, that doesn't mean I don't have a heart. I'm the girl who takes all this, yet goes to the same place that all this happens day after day with a smile on my face hiding the pain inside. I'm a girl who never knows why I still put up with this crap, but when I defend myself I get in trouble. I'm a girl who hides behind my books and writings, hoping for a savior to rescue me from myself. IF YOU CAN RELATE PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE Pirates are cool. The color blue reminds me of chocolate and Edward Cullen. If two gooses are geese, would two mooses be meese? and if two foots are feet, wouldn't it be two feetball? walrus! AHAHAHAHA!! LUKE I AM YOUR FATHA!! hate lacrosse. Don't ask why. I want some toast. DO THE BARTMAN! SHOOBUS MY WOOBUS and SHOOP DA WOOP, baby! BADA BOOM BADA BAM! NARWHALS ARE POINTY!!!! If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it a streaker or a hobo? I like banana cream marmalade on my pickles...if you are random, copy and paste this, then add something random of your own! A white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." Which Hetalia character are you? The Axis Powers North Italy (Feliciano Vargas) [x]You were bullied a lot in your childhood. (Bookworm, Check. Have hand up more then not, Check. Slightly crazy, double check) [ ]You adore pasta, pizza, cheese, and fruit. [x]You're very happy-go-lucky. [ ]You constantly have a dozy look on your face as if you're always away with the fairies. [ ]You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick up. (I wish...) [ ]You're a good artist. [x]You can be clumsy at times. [x]You have a friend you always depend upon if you mess up something. [x]If your life was in danger, you would do the typical Italian thing and say: "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!" [ ]You would surrender in a war situation. (5/10) Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) [ ]You're very stoic and serious. [ ]Sausages are your favourite foods. () [ ]You like to walk your dog. [x]Your boss/principal/tutor/home-room teacher is a nut-case. [ ]You love rules and think they should always be followed to a T. ( ummm... Maybe... possibly... NOO!!!) [ ]You think the world would be better if everyone played by the rules. [ ]You work very hard. (For school... uh, no.) [x]Your alone time is your 'happy time'. [x]You can appear tough but be very considerate towards people. [ ]You've had issues with money once or twice. (3/10) Japan (Kiku Honda) [x]You're very mature (When not around my friends) [ ]You think everything over before saying it. [x]You believe in ghosts but aren't phased by the experience when you see one.(Never seen one but still check it) [x]You isolated yourself during childhood. (Slightly I'm shy with new people) [ ]You became very successful in a short amount of time. [x]You are somewhat inexperienced when it comes to the outside world. [ ]You can seem cold/aloof to other people. [ ]You're good at practical tasks. [x] You need time to adjust to new people . (5/10) Sweet! I'm like Japan, my friends will be so jealous! :D The Allied Forces The United States of America (Alfred F. Jones) [x]You love hamburgers. (Well, maybe 'love' is the wrong word,it's more of 'enjoy on occasion') [ ]You think you're awesome. [ ]You love to invent things. [x]You love going to the cinema/watching films/making films. [x]You can seem to be very brash to other people. (I'm shy, but get me around my besties, and you're screwed) [x]You have a tendency to stick your nose into other peoples' business. [ ]You're terrified of ghosts. [x]You know aliens exist. [ ]You tend to wear a bomber jacket all the time. (Only sometimes) [x]You wear glasses. () (6/10) Wow,I may be my home... The United Kingdom of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland (Arthur Kirkland) [ ]You like tea. [x]You were quite tough as a kid.(I had to, I was bullied) [x]You're very sarcastic and cynical. [ ]Your cooking is awful. [x]You love spiritual magical stuff, such as fairies, ghosts... () [ ]...But you refuse to believe in aliens. [x]You have tried doing black magic before. [ ]You get drunk quite easily. (I'm not old enough to know) [ ]When you are drunk, you tend to be very unhappy. [ ]You're good at embroidery. (3/10) France (Francis Bonnefoy) [ ]You're very affectionate. [ ]You think you have a great fashion sense. [ ]You like wine. [ ]You're the master of whispering romantic things into peoples' ears. [ ]You love red roses. [ ]When it comes to l'amour, you don't mind men or women. [ ]You're very proud of yourself. [ ]You love culture and the arts. (I wanna go to Europe because of this. ;,;) [ ]You're very flamboyant. [ ]You say you're a gourmet . (0/10) Russia (Ivan Braginski) [ ]You had a very sad childhood. [x]You're very tall.() [x]You have a tendency to switch between personalities. (Between shy and intelligent to hyper) [ ]You wear a scarf all the time. [ ]You love sunflowers. [ ]You love vodka. [x]You can seem intimidating to other people.(I scare my friends sometimes when I get angry) [ ]You're very strong. [ ]You have a big nose. [x]You have a strange laugh that can scare people. (Actually, I have many laughs, most are kinda scary) (4/10) China (Wang Yao) [x]You're very mature.(Only when I need to be...) [x]You're very superstitious. [ ]You're very religious. [x]You love pandas. [ ]You love cooking so much that you nag if food has a certain pattern of tastes. [ ]You love Hello Kitty.(That would be my best friend,not me...) [x]You try to be a role-model for your brothers/sisters/whatever, but are never taken seriously. (I failed but hey, I tried) [x]You work hard. (when I want to) [ ]You're good at drawing. [x]You like sweets. (What kid doesn't?) (6/10) And now for some other country people!! Austria (Roderich Edelstein) [ ]You are very well-raised. [x]You're polite. (Only sometimes...) [ ]You love classical music. [x]You like cake. [ ]You have a mole on your face. [x]You dedicate your time to your hobbies rather than what needs to be done right away. (Just ask my friends and teachers) [ ]You are a virtuoso/play very well on at least one instrument. [ ]You've composed music before. [x]You tend to call people 'morons'. (morons,idiots,etc. take your pick) [x]You wear glasses.() (5/10) Canada (Matthew Williams) [x]You're often ignored by people. (Shy, know it all, bookworm, what do you think) [x]You look younger than you actually are. [ ]You love hockey. [ ]You love polar bears. [ ]You hate fighting. (Actually,quite the opposite!) [ ]You have one strand of curly hair, like Italy. [ ]You often get mistaken for someone else. [x]You feel under-appreciated. [ ]You're bilingual.(I know some bits and pieces of different languages, mostly 'Thank you', but I'm learning - or attempting to learn - Japanese.) [ ]You always carry a bear with you.(In my purse, shhh) (3/10) Cuba [ ]You smoke. [ ]You're very physically strong. [ ]You've won a lot of fist-fights. [ ]In your social circle, there are two brothers - you get along with one, but not with the other. [x]You have very strong emotions about a variety of topics. [ ]You like hot weather. () [x]You can be very friendly from time to time.(Stress on TIME TO TIME...) [ ]You look very tough on the outside. [ ]You make a very nice role-model. [ ]You don't let people get a word in edgeways. (2/10) Hungary (Elizaveta Hédeváry) [x]You have a potty-mouth. (When with friends) [ ]You like to wear flowers in your hair. [x]You used to be a very tough kid. (And still am!!!) [ ]You're very reliable. [x]It's better to have you as a friend rather than an enemy. (FAR better.) [x]You're very faithful. (Only to my best friends) [x]Your speech and mannerisms can be considered very unladylike. [ ]You and your best friend go together like chalk and cheese. [x]You are graceful one moment and grinning like a maniac the next. [x]If someone yells that yaoi is going on somewhere, you will drop everything to run off to go and see it. (Thanks to Hetalia ._. I BLAME GABBY!!!) (5/10) Lithuania (Toris Lorinaitis) [x]You're very loyal. [x]You feel like your best friend drags you around a lot, but you both have a great time together. [ ]You're very serious. [ ]You have a lot of patience. (What is this 'patience' you speak of?) [ ]You think too much about philosophical stuff. [ ]You get depressed when questioning the point of existing/the universe, etc... [x]You're not very confident. (Side effect of being bullied) [x]You were quite rebellious as a child. (Not exactly a were...) [ ]People tend to walk all over you. (If you try you won't be able to walk ever again) [ ]You're a born worrier. (3/10) Poland (Feliks Lucasiewocz) [ ]You're very flamboyant. [x]You're quite hyperactive. (Only sometimes) [x]You can be quite goofy. [ ]When you're depressed, you tend to rise out of it like a phoenix. [x]You're very wary of strangers. (*Doesn't trust new peoples*) [x]It takes you ages to come out of your shell.() [x]However, when you're used to someone, you're very chatty.(FUCKING HELLZ YES!!!) [ ]You're very forceful and stand at one end of the argument when it comes to your opinions. [ ]You love pansies and corn-poppies. [x]You get up to lots of crazy antics.(Note to reader:Only female in family) (6/10) Prussia (Gilbert Beillschmidt) [x]You're quite mean-spirited. (Just ask certain fellow students of mine) [x]You're a bit of a hooligan. (I,sadly,know what that means. On a brighter note, I also know it applies to me!) [x]You're very loyal. [ ]You're very good at tactics. () [x]You hate Russia. (Never let me go there) [x]You love to fight people. (I own a crossbow, people!) [ ]You can avoid marriages quite well. (Sounds more like Russia and his crazy sis...) [x]You're not always taken seriously. [ ]You like drinking. [x]You want to become stronger. (7/10) (HOLY SHIZBUCKET! I DO NOT LIKE PRUSSIA AT ALL I CAN'T BE HIM! Oh someone please shoot me now...) Spain (Antonio Fernandez Carriedo) [x]You are clueless about things around you. (Sometimes...) [ ]You favor the taste of fresh tomatoes. [ ]You're very responsible. (Pfffft. XD) [x]You tend to dramatize over things a lot. [ ]You love churros. () [x]You help people in crisis. (Only if they're nice to me) [x]You are quite random. [ ]Somehow, you like bananas.(I don't wanna dwell over how wrong that sounds...) [x]You often offer food to people.(GABBY!!!!!!!) [ ]You have a sort of unhealthy obsession over a couple of brothers. (5/10) South Italy (Lovino Vargas) [ ]You tend to overreact a lot. [x]You like to order people around. (I tend to get my way...) [x]You're a scaredy-cat. (SOMETIMES!!!!) [x]You curse a lot. (When friends are around) [ ]You go drama depressed when people ignore you. [ ]You tend to blush easily. [x]You are lazy like hell. (Damn straight I am.) [ ]You love tomatoes a lot. [x]You fix yourself on stupid matters. [x]You get defensive at the slightest comment. (again, Bullied) (6/10) A:Hot A:Hot KEY A: Hot HETALIA PLEDGE I promise to remember Italy whenever someone mentions pasta I promise to remember Germany whenever someone says West I promise to remember Japan whenever I see an Asian tourist taking pictures of brightly colored cake I promise to remember America whenever I see someone eating a Big Mac I promise to remember England whenever I watch Doctor Who I promise to remember France whenever I see a rose I promise to remember China whenever I see Pikachu I promise to remember Russia whenever I see a lead pipe I promise to remember Lithuania whenever I see a guy being pushed around by a Russian I promise to remember Estonia whenever I see a smart guy being pushed around by a Russian I promise to remember Latvia whenever I see a scared guy being pushed around by a Russian I promise to remember Belarus whenever I see a girl demanding to become one with her older brother I promise to remember Ukraine whenever I hear and or see HUGE boobs I promise to remember Sweden whenever I pass by an IKEA I promise to remember Finland whenever I hear someone say 'My wife' I promise to remember Spain whenever I see a tomato field I promise to remember Romano whenever I see a kid pouting and swearing I promise to remember Hungary whenever I see a frying pan I promise to remember Austria whenever I hear someone play Chopin on the piano I promise to remember Prussia whenever I hear someone say AWESOME I promise to remember Poland whenever I pass a Valley Girl I promise to remember Switzerland whenever I see a guy with a gun I promise to remember Liechtenstein whenever I see a girl wearing a bow in her hair I promise to remember Turkey whenever I think about Phantom of the Opera. I promise to remember Greece whenever I see a sleeping man with a cat I promise to remember Egypt whenever I see a pyramid and or triangle I promise to remember Canada whenever I see pancakes I promise to remember Cuba whenever I see a fat guy eating ice-cream I promise to remember Sealand whenever I see boat I promise to remember Grandpa Rome whenever I see someone way to young to be a grandfather. I promise to remember Germania whenever I see Legolas from LOTR I promise to remember Holy Rome whenever I see a boy to nervous to confess that he loves someone. I promise to faithfully recite the Hetalia School Pledge. HETALIA SCHOOL PLEDGE(Me and a friend of mine say this everyday): I pledge allegience, to the flag,of the United States of Hetalia, And to the Republic for which it stands, One nation,under Japan, Indivisable,with liberty and justice for China!(Salute flag) Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a t-shirt that barely covers anything? Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful? ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone? Are you laughing? Isn't it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity? ISN'T IT FUNNY that you don't mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts? I'm not laughing. IT'S SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting. ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart. HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS? KEEP ON LAUGHING! Isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE! BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING! BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND! BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WORLD AROUND YOU IS SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES. IT'S LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT! IT'S GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET. IT'S KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS! BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMORROW ISN'T A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE ITS ANOTHER DAY OF COMPLAINING AND DODGING RUMORS! KEEP ON LAUGHING. If you agree put this on your profile and advise others to do the same. Canada is not invisible; he is a bad-ass and even his brother knows it. Just because Britain took credit for a lot of Canada's efforts doesn't mean he wasn't there. Canada is the only Nation that America completely trusts to watch his back. Canada invented walkies-talkies, Standard Time, pagers, telephones, jetliners, electric wheelchairs, prosthetic hands, the gas mask, sonar, basketball, IMAX, insulin, electron microscopes, G-suits, plexiglass, garbage bags, alkaline batteries, cardiac pacemakers, electric ovens, kerosene, egg cartons, snowmobiles, paint rollers, wood pulp paper, peanut butter, and, of course, ice hockey. Eat it bitches! Canada has defeated the United States before. It was called the War of 1812 and it culminated in the White House being burned down by Canadian, not British troops. America is still embarrassed by it and skims over it in history classes. Canada became an organized country in 1867 but did not gain his full independence until 1982. It was done quietly and without any bloodshed... unlike his brother. Canada was in both World Wars from the beginning and contributed far more to the war effort than his brother. They have free healthcare. And they've legalized marijuana and gay marriage. Vimy Ridge - Germany is still afraid of Canada because of the ass-kicking he got from that. Matthew Williams is amazing, and don't you forget it! The Stupid Test! (Put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 21 or less, than you are not stupid.) P.S. this is not a real test, just something for fun... I guess. ( ) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. ( ) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were not talking. (x) You have run into a glass/screen door. ( ) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle. (x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks. (Always.) Total: 2 (x) You have run into a tree. (x) It IS possible to lick your elbow () (x) You just tried to lick your elbow. (x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm. (My mom had to tell me this one.) (x) You just tried to sing them. (...Maybe) (x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen. (x) You have choked on your own spit. ( ) You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it. (x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice (My brain just skipped over it.) (x) You just looked at it. (Yep.) (x) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it. (...That's just mean) (x) People have called you slow. Total so far: 10 ( ) You have accidentally caught something on fire (x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek. (x) You have caught yourself drooling. (x) You’ve fallen asleep in class ( ) If someone says “fart” you laugh. (x) You just laughed. Total so far: 14 (x) Sometimes you just stop thinking (x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about. (x) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you. (x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”. (x) You use your fingers to do simple math. Total so far: 19 ( ) You have eaten a bug. (x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important (What else am I supposed to do all day, study?) (x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it (x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc. Total so far: 22 (x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you. (x) You break a lot of things. ( ) Your friends know not to use big words around you (I'm the one that uses big words just to confuse people) (x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused (x) You have fallen out of your chair before (Always. My butt just likes the floor better.) (x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling Total all together: 27... That's just mean, I'm not stupid I'M CRAZY!!!!!! You know when you are obsessed with Hetalia when: 1. You start laughing hysterically at maps. 2. You go "Aww" when you see two or more flags together. 3. You've learned more history (Austria-Hungary Compromise, WWII) from it than from an actual history class. 4. You debate about details like whether the number on America's back is supposed to be 50 or 96... with supporting screenshots. 5. You watch APH MADs 6. You got a Nico Nico Douga account despite not knowing a single word of Japanese so you could watch even more APH MADs. 7. You dress up in a scarf and party hat and sit behind a receptionist's desk for Halloween. () 8. World War II starts sounding romantic. 9. Your teacher asks why you put "Alfred F. Jones" as the answer instead of America, and why you drew a small heart and the name "Arthur" beside it. 10. You yell "Yeah, he's the hero!" whenever someone says America. 11. You misread UK as UKE every single time, and have started mispronouncing it in actual conversation. 12. You know every country's flag and location, and people think you must be a huge history nerd, and really, you've become one. 13. You shudder squeal every time you hear the name "Russia" or "Ivan" and quickly glance over your shoulder... just in case. 14. Whenever you see a fellow Hetalia fan, you shout, "Pastaaaaaaaaa!!" down the hallway. 15. You write down your favorite pairings all over your history lecture notes, leaving others to wonder what "PruCan" "Giripan" means. 16. You end every sentence with "aru". 17. You scream 'paaaaaaaaaastaaaaaaaaaaa' every time you happen to have some. 18. You can't imagine a functioning Italian mafia.(Italy is pretending to be weak so Germany will never leave him :D) 19. You want Prussia back on the map. (He'll be back on it again, I SWEAR!) 20. You can no longer say "international affairs" with a straight face. 21. No one can mention a country without you thinking about what they look like in Hetalia. 22. You read a historical book and think it would make a good fanfic. 23. Other people don't get it when you say your country's cute. (All the time XD) 24.You've listened to Romano's Delicious Tomato Song like... 80 billion times. (I've listened 'to Excuse me, I'm sorry' more) 25. You're a duke/duchess of Sealand. 26. You've become a thousand times more patriotic. 27. You remember Canada Day BEFORE the 4th of July, as in, you completely forget about America's birthday. (And you're American) 28. You want to learn every single language in the world. Even the weird ones. 28. You recognize which flag belongs to which country, while everyone just looks at you funny. 29. Everyone who's named Alfred, Arthur, Peter, Matthew, and Francis is forever linked to Hetalia. REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile): 1. We have cookies. 2. Meet the recruitment bunny! 3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body! 4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough! 5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys! 6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life! 7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys? 8. SCREW COOKIES, WE GOT YAOI! 9:Nobody looks at you like you're a freak if you wear all black! (Name twelve of your favorite Axis Powers Hetalia characters in any order) 1. Hungary 2. Romano 3. Japan 4. Lithuania 5. America 6. Canada 7. Iceland 8. Norway 9. Liechtenstein 10. Poland 11. North Italy 12. Spain 1) Have you ever read a Five/Ten fic before? America/Poland? No,and I don't really want to... 2) Do you think Three is hot? How hot? JAPAN IS MINE!!!! MINE!!!!!! 3) What would happen if Six got One pregnant? Canada got Hungary pregnant? Everyone would be shocked to the core, partially because..."Stuff"happened,and mostly cuz CANADIA!!!!!! 4) Do you recall any good fics about Nine? Yes! A lot,actually... 5) Would Seven and Two make a good couple? I can't see Romano and Iceland together at all. Actually,the only one I could see Romano with is Spain... 6) Four/Eight or Four/Nine? Lithuania/Liechtenstein or Lithuania/Norway? Lithuania/Liechtenstein seems cute so that one! I can't see Norway wanting anyone but then again, I've seen very little... 7) What would happen if Seven discovered Three and Eight in a secret relationship? If Iceland discovered Japan and Norway in a relationship? "WHA- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM??!!!" "Little brother... I never wanted you to find out." "Uhm..." 8) Make a summary of at least twenty words for a Two/Six fic. Romano cheating on Spain... with the Invisible man we all know as Canada or Canadia?! Utter chaos over nothing, right? 9) Is there such a thing as a Four/Ten romantic fluff story? Lithuania/Poland?! DUH!!!!!! 10) Suggest a title for a One/Five Hurt/Comfort fic. Impregnated Marriage Consoler. 11) What kind of plot would you use for a Three/Eleven fic? Italy and Nihon go and have a war...OVER FOOD! WELL THAT SUCKED XD YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (A lot meaning all the time) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (ie 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (ie 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.(What's a Bic Stick?) You argue with your own OCs. Some characters interact with you. You argue with the characters. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of these descriptions) (Wow so many...) This is really sweet... When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him. The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.". If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you. Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere. So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity. Repost if you think homophobia is wrong I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allow to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. If you think homophobia is wrong then post this on your profile and show that you are against it. If you love Hetalia and like adding OCs to your Hetalia story, then paste this onto your profile. Never be afraid to add extra characters of your own into canon stories. It's not a crime to let your imagination go wild. Repost this if you agree with it. I don't care if you're gay or straight; everybody needs love. I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness; everybody deserves a chance. I don't care if you're ugly or pretty; everybody has flaws. I don't care if you're black or white; everybody has the same capabilities. I don't care if you're weird; everybody needs to change. I don't care if you're rich or poor; everybody needs warmth. I don't care if you're different; everybody is. When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight. Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it. If all else fails, try reading the instructions. Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying! I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me. Smart is sexy. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!" My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem... When in doubt, push random buttons! Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter. There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three. Borrow money from pessimists- they don’t expect to get it back! There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can’t. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting Don't talk about yourself so much... we'll do that when you leave. This morning I looked down at my unmade bed and decided that it was art in another medium and I should not destroy it. Know what I'm thinking? No. Neither do I; frightening, isn't it? If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. Never say "OOPS!" always say "Ah, Interesting!" They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder. Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies… You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. The trouble with life is there's no background music. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN FOREST, RUN!' FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS:Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'it's because you're gay isn't it?' FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap! You know if you’re a Hetalia fan when… You’ve been converted to Yaoism. Refer to your country by Hetalia’s human names for them. History is cool now and the most perverted subject along with Geography! You want a chick, polar bear, koala, panda, etc. You actually study history for making fics/crack pairings. You wish Prussia still existed. (He is now a Mico-Nation! YOU CANNOT KILL ZE AWESOME PRUSSIA!) You know that a country named Sealand exists…and you want to live in it. You can tell America and…um…oh yeah, Canada apart! You know more about other countries than you ever did before. The world news isn't the same…its awesome now! You WANT to watch the news and the Olympics. You say ‘Awesome’ a lot. You want to learn different languages. Pasta, tomatoes, wurst, maple syrup and hamburgers are now your favorite foods. You wanna play the piano. You carry around a frying pan. You spaz out when you see a frying pan, chick, polar bear, hamburger, dog, koala, map, faucet pipe etc. Maps are now porn. You kick the ground or kiss it while talking to it. You know that world peace can be possible. You want to go to an UN meeting. You want to become President/Prime Minister/etc. so that you can meet your Nation. Incest is hot! You've covered your walls/binders/textbooks with atlases. You smile when you see labels like ‘Made in China’ or ‘Made in Russia’. Vodka is just Russian water. You talk Poland-like. You say ‘kolkolkol’ when you want to give people the creeps. You now have a creepy smile. You’re obsessed with somebody, just like Belarus. Your favorite animes have been replaced by Hetalia. You get fan-girlish/boyish over yourself after finding out you are Chinese/Korean/Russian, German/Italian, etc. In Social Studies class you refer to the countries as ‘he’ or ‘she’ instead of ‘it’. You are convinced that all British people are bad cooks. Your mind goes to “other things” when your teacher mentions France’s “relationships” with other countries. You are now a little bit wary of your Russian pen pal, lest’ he/she try to pull a fast one on you. During class, while discussing Germany and Italy’s alliance in WW1, you burst out laughing… now everyone thinks you’re crazy. You know facts about other countries that creep people out. You yell out facts about other countries that people did not think was true. You’ve tried to curl a piece of your hair. After you’ve succeeded to make that curl, you act like it’s your erogenous zone. When someone is talking about history, you giggle and not pay attention to the other people who are giving you weird looks. Your neighbors think you’re mental after seeing you talk to air. You create an OC of your country if it does not have a character design on Hetalia. You want to be fabulous! You’re parents have made fun of you because of Hetalia. You try to hold a meeting with your friends and yell gibberish. You are heard over everyone during a class discussion/argument. You have siestas now. You have a ‘FUCK’ box. You WANT large eyebrows. You pop out of nowhere to freak out others. You’re stuffed animals/pets have names like Kumajirou, Shinatty-chan, Hanatamago, etc. You want a Sealand hat. You wear a scarf and coat even though you live in the hottest place on earth. You spaz out after finding out you made a friend with someone with the same name as a Hetalia character. You don’t care anymore if you accidentally shoot someone in the arm or leg. You tell everyone that you’re an ethnicity that you really aren’t. You celebrate every country’s Independence Day. You laugh when you see a broken chair. You have dubbed that chair ‘Busby’s Chair’. You’re History teacher is surprised when he/she gives you 100 percent on your papers now. You get perverted thoughts when you say you’re in a certain country. (I get those anyways...) Your ringtones are national anthems. You have friends around the world just because of Hetalia. You know how to pronounce each country’s name correctly. You’ve created your own catch phrase. (I have many, actually.) You get red or violet contacts. Bitches don’t know about your chick. You’ve created your own Hetalia shirt/plush/keychain/etc. You cosplay as a Hetalia character almost 24/7. You write letters to your President/Prime Minister/etc. asking to meet your nation. You and your two closest friends are dubbed ‘The Bad Touch Trio’. (NO! WE ARE THE EPIC PARTY TRIO: IRELAND, SPAIN, AND JAPAN!!!!) You sing the Private Squares song whenever someone’s invading you vital regions. You have hundreds of cats. You become as lazy as Greece. You think perverted thoughts during earthquakes or when near geysers. You think perverted thoughts with global warming. *wags eyebrows suggestively* And last, but not least, you know if you’re a Hetalia fan when… You scream ‘baka’ 1000x for no reason. You try to hold your alcohol like Ivan. You fail epically at holding your alcohol and then act like England when he’s drunk. You can’t cook…so you go for Micky D’s. You jump off high places screaming ‘VODKAAAAA!’. You try to get ice cream from your friend and end up breaking your foot. You raise your hand during class and when your called on you scream ‘PASTAAAA!’. You carry around a white flag or a country flag. Faucet pipes are the shiz. Magic is real. You shake constantly for no reason. You smile at other people’s misery. Historical figures are now your celebrities. The UN meetings are now a sitcom. You buy instruction books when you need advice. You call people ‘perverts’ when they have their country map on the wall. Your underpants have your flag design. You speak with an accent that you never had before. The last two lists have described your life. You are a pirate! (It's my school Mascot! Not really...) You perform a knee attack on your friends! Historians are fanfic writers to you. Historical pictures are fan art to you You have become a pedophile. You have tried to ‘colonize’ one of your friends. It’s impossible to hate a country. All songs seem to fit Hetalia whether it’s sad, disturbing, happy, love-dovey, etc. Your parents made you mad so you decided to start a revolution to gain independence. You’ve now made your parents cry in the rain. You hope to answer the phone and hear “Doitsu, Doitsu!” on the other end. You call your friend and scream “Doitsu, Doitsu!” You call your friend to tell them you’ve been kidnapped. You think America was very sick or had an emo phase during ‘The Great Depression’. Playing with fireworks isn’t a big deal. You play or listen to Chopin when you are mad. You’re growing tomatoes in your backyard…and singing Romano’s Tomato song to them! You see someone roasting marshmallows, so you think they’re mocking you. You roast marshmallows to get back at that person. You start singing England’s marshmallow song. Someone nearby thinks you’re summoning a devil while singing that song. You get something cute so you say, “Kawaii aru!” Your family is as dysfunctional as England’s. You tried to slash your older brother/sister’s back after they got you mad. You go to a nation’s capital and scream “I HAVE CLAIMED country’s names VITAL REGIONS!” and stick a flag into the ground. You think Sealand should take over Seaworld. ‘Paparazzi’ is Lady Gaga’s version of Francis’ ‘Paris is Indeed Splendid'. Surrendering to any fight is a daily thing. You play your piano in the ocean. Your grandfather is on a boat with a bunch of ladies...while playing ukulele. You think Russia’s not evil, he’s just misunderstood. A new country has appeared out of the blue…so you go there to try and claim it. You believe archaeologists are like surgeons. You see a cute little kid and fight with your friend on who gets to be the kid’s older brother/sister. The Ouran Alphabet A is for Academy, which is where the Ouran students attend B is for Boy-Lolita, which is Mitsukuni Haninozuka C is for Cosplay, which the Hosts do every day D is for Debt, which is 8 million yen E is for Emo Corner, which is Tamaki's depression spot F is for Female, which is Haruhi's true gender G is for Guy, which Haruhi has to dress and act like to pay off her debt H is for Hikaru, who is the confused one of the Hitachiin Twins I is for Innocent, which Honey claims to be J is for Jealousy, which Hikaru expresses towards Haruhi and Arai K is for Kaoru, who is the sweetest of the Hitachiin Twins L is for Love, which is the feeling that Hikaru doesn't quite understand M is for Mori, who is the strong and silent type N is for Nekozawa, who will put a curse on you if you don't watch your back O is for Ootori, which is a big name in the medical business P is for Puppet, and its name is Belzeneff Q is for Quiet, which basically describes Mori R is for Roses, which every Host Club member has in their own color S is for Swimsuit, which the Hitachiin brothers would like to see Haruhi wear T is for Tamaki, who considers himself as the "King" of the Host Club U is for Usa-chan, which is the name of Honey's stuffed bunny V is for Vocals, which Renge uses a lot W is for Wonderland, where Haruhi got stuck. X is for X-Ray Vision, which the Hitachiin Brothers wish they had. (...yeah, I know they do...they probably already have it. that's what the smirks are for. -_-) Y is for Yaoi, which the Ouran show has a lot of thanks to the Hitachiin Twins Z is for the Zuka Club, which Haruhi was almost forced to join If you have never heard or seen the Ouran Alphabet before until now, copy and paste this into your profile! To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.Sing The Never Ending Song on a long car ride. There is a song that never ends, never ends never ends, there is a song that never ends and this is how is goes... 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity… FANFICTION UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTH!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!! Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), Anime895 (USA), Starwatcher-shadow (Belgium), icyprincess1 (USA), Marshmellowtime (USA), Fury-Writer-17 (USA), Verdigurl (New Zealand), justiceintheworldofhp-yearight (USA), Andie-san (Canada), HitachiinGirl1 (USA), PhoenixCrystalStar (USA), Rose With 2 Sides (USA),Anime Alert (USA) You say ONE DIRECTION, I say ALLIED POWERS. You say JUSTIN BEIBER, I say MATTHEW WILLIAMS. You say FINAL DESTINATION, I say HETAONI. You say ROMEO X JULIET, I say GERMANY X ITALY. You say HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL, I say GAUKEN!HETALIA. You say MARIO BROTHERS, I say FELICIANO AND LOVINO VARGAS. You say BEETHOVEN, I say RODERICH EDELSTEIN. You say HELLO KITTY, I say SHINATTY-CHAN. You say NATIONAL ANTHEM, I say MARUKAITE CHIKYUU. You say SUPER MAN, I say ALFRED F. JONES. You say PEDOBEAR, I say ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIDO You say NYAN CAT, I say FLYING MINT BUNNY. You say TEAM EDWARD & JACOB, I say FrUK & UsUK. You say SPAGHETTI ,I say PASTAAAAAA You say SWORD, I say WOK. You say I LOVE YOU, i say ICH lIEBE DICH. You say OH MY GOD, i say AIYAH. You say HISTORY CLASS, I say HETALIA You say we're FREAKS, I say we're FANS. INSIDE JOKE TO-DO LIST! If you understand these references, go out and do this or copy and paste the ones you understand into your profile! 1: Randomly say 've' in-between most of your words. 2: Run around in Wal-Mart screaming 'THE PRUSSIANS ARE COMING! START FREAKING OUT NOW!'. 3: Whenever skydiving (or jumping off a really high diving board or whatever) yell, "VODKAAAAAAAAAA!!!" on the way down. 4: End sentences with 'aru'. 5:Buy a huge green portal so you can push a kid named Danny into it. 6: YELL AT EVERYONE. LOUDLY AND OBNOXIOUSLY. 7: Say nothing but 've' while making lots of hand motions while talking to someone. Claim you're speaking Italian. 8:Find some French bread and whack people on the head with it while yelling, "BECOME FRENCH!" 9: Whenever you say "I love you," to someone the same gender as you, immediately add "No homo" afterwards. 10: Start calling people by troll names; i.e., if you have a friend who's a Scorpio, call her Spiderbitch. 11: Start calling people by country names; i.e., if you have a friend from Britain or with British ancestors, call them Iggy/Iggy-brows. 12: Make shipping charts. And create a yaoi club. 13: Try to become a ninja. 14: Attempt to use gel or something to make a hair curl. 15: Stalk someone and when they're with the person you ship them with, attempt to head slam them so they kiss. (NO REGRETS!) 16: Before you play hockey, say a short prayer to the Hockey God (*cough*CANADA*cough*) to help you. 17: When in public and you walk by an American flag, start singing 'America, fuck yeah' at the top of your lungs. 18: Learn how to dance, then randomly spaz out dancing in public. When people ask what you're doing, tell them "I would tell you, but your unawesome brains would spontaneously implode from the awesomeness that is me!" If you day-dream about your fictional characters and plot lines in class, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Heh, I write plots 24/7. It helps keep my ADHD filled brain occupied.) For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! Now, something for people against bullying The girl you just called fat, she is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly, she spends hours putting on makeup hoping someone will like her.The boy you just tripped,he gets abused enough at home.The man with the ugly scars,he fought for our country.The boy you just made fun of for crying,his mother is dying.Repost this if you are against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't repost this but the ones with heart and backbone will. You Can Go Ahead And . . . - You can go ahead and report, block, and PM everyone to not read my stories. But that won't stop me from making them. - You can go ahead and leave reviews on how crappy my story is. How horrible the plot is, and how bad my grammar is. But that won't stop me from writing. - You can go ahead and PM me how dumb my profile is. How ugly my picture is, and how I "stole" someone else's pen name. But that won't stop me from expressing myself. - You can go ahead and bad mouth me. Tell me I'm dumb, and how much of a moron I am. But that won't stop me from using my brain. - You can go ahead and roll your eyes as you read this. But the people who knows what I am writing about, and understands this will put this on their profile. You are a Badass Uke! Other uke admire you, some seme fear you. Despite your sometimes flaming appearance, you can even fool other people into thinking you are seme with your mischievous, manipulative attitude, but when push comes to shove, your true submissive nature emerges. It takes a seme with enough intensity to challenge you and keep you satisfied, and your perfect match, the Don't Fuck With Me Seme, knows that all that naughty teasing just means you want the punishment. Most compatible with: Don't Fuck With Me Seme, Chibi Seme A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where's my ceiling?" Learn the rules so you know how to properly break them You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something sometime in your life. No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a bad person you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it. I will only stop being your friend when a mute guy tells a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a legless guy walk on water. Those are my principals, and if you don't like them... well I have others. I'm original and unique. I'm my own person and if you don't like me... screw you. I'm awesome. I love irony. You know what's ironic? How the people who know the least about you have the most to say. Dear McDonald's Cashier, Stop looking at me like that. Last time I checked, there were no age limits for Happy Meals. Sincerely, Don't Forget The Toy I'm sorry you don't like me. I'm sorry you think I suck. But most of all, I'm sorry I don't give a crap. It's a beautiful day! Now watch some idiot screw it up =.= If you're gunna embarrass yourself, do it right! Dear Humans, Remember when your parents told you we were more afraid of you, then you were of us? We're not. Sincerely, Spiders Everyone thinks a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy... pfffttttt! Yeah right! Our dream is to eat without getting fat. 10 years. Trillions of dollars. Thousands of soldiers dead. State of the art technology. The US finally found Bin Laden... in his house. Yes, I do smile stupidly at the computer when someone says something cute. Did you fall from heaven? Cuz it looks like you landed on your face =.= You get home from school. There is a giant box in the front living room with the word 'FRAGILE' on it. This can only mean one thing... BUBBLE WRAP! Me: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: I don't know, can you? Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher, you would know that. Oh well, I guess I'll do it your way. May I go to the bathroom? Teacher: ... Children don't care whether a person is a girl or a boy, black or white, pretty or ugly, different or the same. They will be friends simply because they get along. Children don't care about politics or religion. And yet they say adults are wiser. Anyone popular is bound to be disliked. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning... but anyone can start today and make a new ending. You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and they're pretty much the same thing. PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE- if you have ever listened to music in another language, and sang along having no IDEA what they are SAYING and PROUD OF IT!! You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun sitting on your shoulder. Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, it doesn't matter because you're a mile away from him, and you've got his shoes. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about having cookies? Keep smiling; it makes everyone wonder what you're up to. We must never, ever be mean to stupid people. If we are, they might go away. Then who would we laugh at? Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver. It’s retarded it’s ridiculous it’s re-dic-u-tard-ed. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you wish you had the power to control an element copy and paste this into your profile. If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever busted a move/burst into song copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. I solemnly swear that anyone that flames my stories will get a flame back. FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! BEAT OUT THE FLAMES! If you agree, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to your profile. If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny (like someone dying or crying), put this in your profile. It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrollably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny.Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you're crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends you're 'amazing' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when it is last day of school you scream and run around in circles. Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the move. Crazy is when you pick up a stick and run around screaming, "I'm a pixie!". Crazy is when you eat your friend's chocolate bar and tell them that the Purple Sandwich Monster did it. Crazy is when you hug people who hate being hugged every two minutes. Crazy is when after you watch a movie, you search it on Wikipedia. Crazy is when you say "Narwhals are just Unicorns in disguise! I swear!". Crazy is if you have a fangirl moment when reading a book. Crazy is when you do things to people just so they think you're weird. Crazy is mixing all the soda's you can find. Crazy is constantly drawing circles on your arm. Crazy is becoming best friends with people you barely know. Crazy is reading a sad book just to cry and ending up laughing like a maniac. Crazy is when you have a friend who writes you a note about a crazy stalker dog instead of taking math notes. Crazy is when you put on a straitjacket willingly. Crazy is when you respond to someone calling you crazy by saying, "I know. Does it make me look too sane?".If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! I do what the voices tell me, so shut up. You might encourage them. DON'T IGNORE THIS, because in the Bible it says: "If you deny me, I will deny you in front of the Father. So be considerate. Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is. Be yourself. That's crazy enough. MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men! 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. " 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you" I DON'T... 1.) I don't give a damn about what others think of me (What's important is what you think of yourself, after all, in the end, it's your own views that count) 2.) I don't follow the 'in' trends with regards to fashion. Skinny jeans? Disgusting... 3.) I don't think it's wise of teenagers to indulge in drugs, alcohol, etcetera. 4.) I don't know why I'm always running to a lot of dark-themed anime with a lot of demons in them {Kuroshitsuji, Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro, Inuyasha} (O.O) Though, the last two ones probably don't count as 'dark-themed' XD ANIME... "It's a lot better than crack." I have noticed: 1.) The sky is always blue. 2.) Most manga I download is in black and white. 3.) Most people tend to pair Sesshoumaru with OC's rather than characters from the anime and manga itself. 4.) There are more SessXKagome fanfics than there are SessXKagura 5.) A lot of people (Including myself) are afraid of clowns 6.) Despite the fact that they keep saying that smoking, drinking and drugs are horrid, a lot of people are still doing it (hn...humans...they don't know what's good for them) 7.) Kagome Higurashi's natural eye color is always described as being either 'sapphire', or 'blue', when they are clearly BROWN. (Peace, dudes! :D) Reasons why i'm late updating...
2. *opens eyes in the morning and hears my sisters fighting* "...Nope I'm not getting up today." *Closes eyes* 3. *playing with sound mixer* "A-ahhh... a-ahhh... I lost my idea for the chaaapppter... So I don't dare moooooveee" *Mom yells that she got ice cream from the store* "Whhhhhaaaat kiiiinnnd" *She replies with cookies and cream* "ILLOOOVEEMYYMOOOMMMMM" *Goes and eats ice cream and forgets to update conveniently* 4. *Computer suddenly shuts down* "SHIT! Damn it... I should have listened to Ms. Murphy... she was right... Which is why...you remember... how to save with the keyboard... instead of being dumb...like me..." Hello and thank you for calling the State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction 1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it. 2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses. 3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story. 4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting. 5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly. 6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well. 7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious. 8. Thou shalt not use :) , ;D , or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character. 9. Thou shalt try-eth to keep characters in character! 10. Thou shalt not treat every criticism as a flame. 11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so. 12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary. 13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length. 14. Thou shalt not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character. 15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning. 16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason). 17. Thou shalt show and not tell. 18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers. 19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est - writing is an art. 20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise. 21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader. 22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed. 23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason. 24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep. 25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. It will also create Minis. Mini-Balrogs, Mini-Aragogs, Mochi Nations - whatever it is, the Mini will hate you. (Look up 'Mini-Balrog' if this sentence confuses you.) 26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside. 27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers. The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction 1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it. 2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses. 3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story. 4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting. 5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly. 6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well. 7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious. 8. Thou shalt not use :) , ;D , or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character. 9. Thou shalt try-eth to keep characters in character! 10. Thou shalt not treat every criticism as a flame. 11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so. 12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary. 13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length. 14. Thou shalt not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character. 15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning. 16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason). 17. Thou shalt show and not tell. 18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers. 19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est - writing is an art. 20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise. 21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader. 22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed. 23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason. 24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep. 25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. It will also create Minis. Mini-Balrogs, Mini-Aragogs, Mochi Nations - whatever it is, the Mini will hate you. (Look up 'Mini-Balrog' if this sentence confuses you.) 26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside. 27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers. The Ten Tolkien Truths: "Thou Shalt Honour Tolkien's Name By Spelling His Name Right. Some Quick Tips for Hetalia Fanfiction: - If in doubt, look it up. Getting a country's customs wrong will infuriate people from that country. - Google Translate sucks. Learn the language, or ask someone who knows the language to write those lines for you. Reading "mon nom est Francis" instead of "je m'appelle Francis" drives Frenchies nuts. - Don't use controversial character portrayals until you're better situated in the fandom. Immediately portraying Arthur Kirkland in your first fic as a slut will make his fangirls mad. - Please use more creative settings than the World Meeting Room. You could parody Rebecca Black's "Friday" with the amount of Meeting Room Hetalia fanfics there are. - Look up overused tropes for your favourite ships and try to avoid them. Readers are tired of reading another "DOES HE LIKE ME?" "DOES HE LIKE ME?" "OH HE KISSED ME I SUPPOSE HE LIKES ME" "LET'S HAVE SEX" "OKAY" fanfic. Especially if it's USUK. - When writing smut for your first time, read other people's smut fics to get an idea of what to do. "Insert tab A into slot B" fanfics are as arousing as assembling Berwald's furniture. - Remember that the characters you're using are personifications of NATIONS. There are people from those countries reading your fanfic. People get pissed when you portray their country badly for no reason. And spell the names right, for God's sake. You know you live in 2013 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. RIP We shall remember Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is 'Wrong' 1) Being gay is not natural. Real America has always reject unnatural things like glasses, plastic surgery, and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed! 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans Please repost this if you are for gay marriage. Murphey's Lesser Known Laws 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty I am the girl who doesn't go to school dances, and when I do, I sit in the corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I am saying something. I am the girl who spends most of her free time reading, writing, or something that teenagers don't call "normal." I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or face-to-face. I am the girl who doesn't spend all my time on MySpace or Facebook, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl who hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl who stops and smells flowers and jumps and splashes in the rain. BUT I am the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do anymore, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of little things. Copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls that are different and unique can know at their weakest time that they are unique and not alone, God is with them: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dance4Life15, Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, chocoholic4eva, xXKatieCullenXx, Bby-Leyla-Vamp, Shiny=silver-volvo-stalker, Nick1488, Demelza Llivell, -oOoHeartofDarknessOo-, WeLoVeTwIlIgHt212, Dylan'sSis101, Queen Lucy of Awesomeness, Allyse Mystic, Pokeluv101, Silvermoonstone23, Color Me Amber, HistoryWizardNerd22, Anime Alert If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile. If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile copy and paste this into your profile. COPY AND PASTE THIS IF YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER CANADA! If you hate racism then post this here! Ooh, test thingy! 1. FIRST NAME: ... Do I REALLY need to answer this...? I'd rather not say... I Am Not That Girl: I am not that girl, BUT I am that girl, Re-post this if you are original and unique, and want to announce it to the world! Hetalia fans will completely understand this: INTERNATIONAL ECONOMICS TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income. INDIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You worship them. PAKISTAN ECONOMICS You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. AMERICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind. You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows. FRENCH ECONOMICS You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. GERMAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves. BRITISH ECONOMICS You have two cows. They are both mad cows. ITALIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch. SWISS ECONOMICS You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. JAPANESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow called Cowkimon and market them worldwide. RUSSIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka. CHINESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers. IRANIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You choose one of them as the leader of your country and the other one as the president. My name is Tiffany AWESOME THING TO DO 28 AWESOME WAYS TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER WANNA BACKHAND YOU!! 1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (Keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the Mission Impossible theme, etc.) 2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously. 3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask "Does somebody need a hug?” very loudly 4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties.” 5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, scream “The light! Make it stop, it burns!" 6. Flick pieces of paper around the class. 7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “You're racist against paper aren't you.” 8. When your teacher asks you why you didn't do your homework say, “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” Then sit there and smile sweetly. 9. When you have a substitute teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “Prove it!” 10. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.” 11. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused. 12. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance” 13. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!” 14. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early." 15. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.” 16. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!” 17. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!” 18. Bring in a 4th Grader and says he’s your new pet. 19. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb. 20. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!” 21. Talk to a pen. 22. If you find a pencil on the floor, jump onto a desk, hold up the pencil, and yell, "LITTERING IS WRONG!! WHOEVER DROPPED THIS MUST BE PUNISHED!!" Then run around the room singing in a foreign language. 23. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!” 24. When a substitute teacher is taking attendance, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’ 25. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats! 26. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart! 27. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds." at the bottom. 28. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting "Oh no, they're here. Oh my goodness. What do I do? Miss/Sir you have to help me! Oh goodness. They must have found the body! HELP!" A best friend can look at you when you have a smile on your face and ask "What's wrong?" Friends ask why you're crying, Best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the person who made you cry. Friends will be like, "You deserve better". Best friends will be prank calling him saying "You will die in several days." Our laughs are limitless. True Friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget Friendships are meant to stay together, without giving up on each other A Best friend is a person who walks in, when the world walks out. 5 Truths of Life. 1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue 2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it 3. The first truth is a lie 4. You're smiling right now because you know you fell for it... 5. You still have a stupid smile lingering on your face Now, if you fell for it (I KNOW you did), copy & paste this into your profile 5 Truths of life: 1. You can kiss your elbow 2. You are now thinking you are not falling for that one again 3. You think you're so smart 4. The fact is that that is a lie 5. You are now trying to kiss your elbow TRY NOT TO CRY: This poem is to remember the students of Columbine, Virginia Tech, and all the other kids who were shot in school shootings and never got to say goodbye. By reposting this in your bio, you are making sure they are never forgotten. Copy this into your profile, choose the month you were born, copy and paste that above the "Months" chart, Italicize anything that doesn't suite you, boldones that really suite you well. JULY: MONTHS JANUARY: FEBRUARY: MARCH: APRIL: MAY: JUNE: JULY: AUGUST: SEPTEMBER: OCTOBER: NOVEMBER: DECEMBER: FOR GIRLS: YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. You love jeans. Dogs are better than cats. (I like all animals equally ;) It's hilarious when people get hurt. (Only sometimes...) You've played with/against boys on a team. Shopping is torture. (unless it's for books or something like that) Sad movies suck. You own/ owned an X-Box. Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. (Does a DSi count...?) You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. You watch sports on TV. Gory movies are cool. You go to your dad for advice. (I kinda have to...) You own like a trillion baseball caps (um I have two my dad has the rest so he doesn't notice when I borrow one or five) You like going to high school football games. You used to/do collect football/baseball/Pokemon cards. (Pokemon baby!) Baggy pants are cool to wear. It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. Green, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. You love to go crazy and not care what people think. Sports are fun. Talk with food in your mouth. Sleep with your socks on at night 8/25 (Ucht... I thought it would be more...) YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. 1. YOUR REAL NAME: I know what it is, and you may find out here. 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle); Lisizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Crimson Raven 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (Middle name and current street name): Elizabeth White 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (The first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name): Billiine 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Black Root Beer or Black Raspberry Ginger Ale. 7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of your siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Ilzlie (Dad has no middle name.) 8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (Your mothers madien name) Kline 9: YOUR GOTH NAME: (Black and the name of your pet) Black Angus or Black Murphy. We have two doggies. Your One And Only Wish Do it one by one, don't look ahead! 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favourite colour out of red, black, blue, green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which colour do you like more, black or white? 6. Name a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favourite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one) Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: 3. If your initial is: 4. If you were born in: 5. If you choose: 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose.. 9. If you choose.. 10. This wish will come true if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday! (On my Seren! Only one bloody thing was wrong... I think!) Love My Mommy: When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thanked her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind. When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back. When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class. When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night. When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter. When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got. When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out. When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn. When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends. When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world. When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children. Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you. If YOU love your mom, re-post this. Love My Daddy: At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap. When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house. When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country. When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you ever did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, re-post this on your profile Girls Don't Realize These Things... I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with idiots who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm Sorry' If you're one of the few girls with enough GUTS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' Random Sayings In No Particular Order: Smile... even though it freaks other people out. There's a fine line between sanity and insanity. I believe I crossed it several hundred miles back. When there's an awkward silence... "FOR NARNIA!" I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute. I'll try being nicer when you try being smarter. Ah... Medieval Times. When boys opened doors for girls instead of trampling them on their way out. Those were the good old days. Keep smiling –– it makes everyone wonder what you're up to. Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Normal people scare me... but not as much as I scare them. I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. It is better to keep your mouth shut and make people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. I wasn't calling you names. I was stating the obvious. I'm sick of all this talk about vampires and werewolves. What we really need is a good book about unicorns. I'm not cynical. Everything just sucks. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. That which doesn't kill you... will probably try again. The difference between brilliance and stupidity is that brilliance has its limits. I respect your opinion. I just think it's stupid. You have the right to remain silent, so please just shut up. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people. I didn't slap you! I just gave you a high five in the face. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones that need the advice. If you hate someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you're a mile away from them AND you have their shoes! Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE is when it's weird. Don't follow in my footsteps. I run into things. Parents spend the first years of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, and the rest to sit down and shut up. Whoever says nothing is impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door. Whoever says that words never hurt has obviously never gotten hit by a dictionary. Whoever says "as easy as taking candy from a baby" has obviously never tried. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done. I'm only Grumpy because you're Dopey. I'm the kind of girl who can watch a horror movie without getting scared, but jumps and screams when the toast pops out of the toaster. Forget love. I'd rather fall in chocolate! US quality: made in China. Other people want to be werewolves and vampires. I want to be a unicorn. Let's eat, Gramma! It takes skills to trip over flat surfaces. I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug. WARNING: Cleaning my room: School: 8 out of 5 people are mathematically and numerically illiterate. Friendships are like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm sensation. Boys are like trees. They take fifty years to grow up. Boys are like Slinkies. Practically useless, and yet it is so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs. Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts. My boyfriend said that it's either him or the horse. I'll go get my saddle. The evening news is where they tell you "Good evening", and then proceed to list countless reasons why it's not. Amateurs built the ark. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do. We live in an age where there are handicap parking spots in front of ice-skating rinks. We live in an age where the banks leave the front doors open and chain the pens to the counter. We live in an age where there is Braille lettering on the drive-up ATMs. Strangers stab you in the front. God made men first. Then He had a better idea! Dear Math, Dear Math, Dear Yahoo, Dear Noah, Dear America, Dear Impossible, Dear Students, I dream of a better tomorrow –– where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. They told me I could become anything. So I became a rock. Bookstores are one of the only pieces of evidence we have left that people are still thinking. I ran with scissors. And lived. I am nobody. Nobody's perfect. Therefore, I am perfect. I did what they said and took the road less traveled –– now where the heck am I? An apple a day keeps the doctor away –– if well aimed. DRINK COFFEE! You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. What happens when you're scared half to death twice? My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it's gone. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Did you know sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity? Don't follow me. I'm lost too. The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader. Don't mess with me. I've got a stick. Smile, because I have no idea what is going on! Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are vegetables? One way to figure out how things work –– push all the buttons! What is this normal you speak of? Is it contagious? Stay away! I might catch your normal! Without those blonde moments, life would be so dull. When women are depressed, they eat chocolate or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional... Cheese... milk's leap toward immortality. If you say "gullible" really slow, it sounds like "oranges"! Without ME, it's just AWESO. Come to the nerd side. We have pi! The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and spiders. Raisin cookies are the reason why I have trust issues. On a scale of 1 to 10, what's your favorite color in the alphabet? There is a fine line between numerator and denominator. Roses are red. The following statement is true. The cactus wants a hug. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it. I see regular people! Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Silence is golden and duct tape is silver. You choose. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. I'm so gangster. I carry a squirt gun. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three! If you can't fix it with duct tape, you haven't used enough. I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on eBay! There is no "I" in "team" but if you switch around a couple letters, there is definitely a "ME"... There are three kinds of people in the world: ones that can count, and ones that can't. I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day, and tomorrow's not looking good either... The person who smiles when things go wrong is thinking of a list of people to blame it on. I am NOT saying you're stupid. I am merely implying it. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Usually, it belongs to an incoming express train. Just when I thought that you said the stupidest thing ever, you kept talking. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. An idiot is a window washer who steps back to admire the wonderful cleaning job he did on the 44th floor. Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. In order to lose your mind, you must have one in the first place. All people have the right to stupidity; some just abuse that privilege. Why be difficult when, with just a little effort, you can be impossible? I have two rules: When giving lethal injections, the doctors first sterilize the needles. I have one question that I would love to ask –– "WHY?" He who claps last is not paying attention. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out. I don't obsess! I think intensely. I'm not random. You just can't think as fast as me. MOO... I'm a fish Give me candy –– OR ELSE. The question is not whether or not you have the right to remain silent. The question is whether or not you have the capacity. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Some see the glass as half full, some see it as half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my soda. The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf. Practice makes perfect, but since nobody's perfect, why practice? Education is important. School, however, is another matter. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile, and absolutely none at all to sit there with a dumb look on your face. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate. Advice is not my forte. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Slinky plus escalator equals endless fun I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless. Secret admirers are stalkers with stationery. It's not stealing. It's borrowing with no intention of giving back. Procrastinators: the leaders of tomorrow. Tu madre. You just got burned in Spanish. Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is. It's okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either. At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Deep, huh? If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. Worst time to have a heart attack: during a game of charades. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried eating a liquid. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried to fly a helicopter upside down. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried nailing Jell-O to a tree. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried lining up a group of people alphabetically according to height. Come to the Dark Side. We have COOKIES! Don't attempt a staring contest with a brick wall. They cheat a lot. When someone annoys you, remember that it takes 47 muscles to frown but just 4 muscles to stretch out your arm and punch the crap out of them. Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? I didn't trip. I was just doing a random gravity test. If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer! I've got a problem for your solution. Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. I didn't fight my way to the top of a food chain to be a vegetarian. Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion! What a bunch of idiots. I downloaded it for free. War does not determine who is right... only who is left. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Diamonds are a girl's best friend because they're sharper than knives. Relax. Nothing is okay. Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many. Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics. You have the right to remain silent. I have the right to ignore whatever you say. Either way, it works in my favor. We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction. I was going to take over the world, but then I saw a shiny thing. The Tooth Fairy teaches kids that it's okay to sell body parts. Be insane, because well behaved girls never made history. A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere. You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you? The doctor says that we have multiple personalities. I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours. The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese. They never suspect the short one. Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia? I've used up all of my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo? People know don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was. Hey stupid! Your sock is untied! Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. I'm not as random as you think I salad. On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin. I see no good reason to act my age. Hey you! Yeah you! No, not you, the other guy! You right there! Do you like tacos? I tried being normal, but I didn't like it. Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes. Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is. Flying is not inherently dangerous –– crashing is. I have not lost my mind; it is backed up on a disk somewhere. Forecast for tonight: darkness. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes. If you had a life you would stop talking about mine. Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner. In a world of Cheerios, be a Froot Loop! Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later. You, you, and you –– panic. The rest of you follow me. If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense. I have a dream and in it, something eats you. Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful. Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a Barbie doll. If aliens are looking for intelligent life, don't be scared. You have no reason to be. If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport. Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world, but shhhh... it's a secret! Quick, what's the number for 9-1-1? I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again. Hi! I'm human. What're you? Patience is what parents have when they also have witnesses. We are the people our parents warned us about! I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a... aw, who am I kidding? I'm smiling because I'm your sister. I'm laughing because there's nothing you can do about it! A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Earth is full. Go home. I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up. An overly positive attitude may not be enough to solve a problem, but it sure ticks people off enough for it to be worth it! I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody's looking. The cops never find it as funny as you do. Reality is for people who lack imagination. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." People say I've lost my sanity, but I can't lose what I never had. The voices in my head may not be real, but they still have pretty good ideas... You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me not you. Nine out of the ten voices in my head agree that I'm insane. The tenth is off chasing cars. The voices in my head don’t like you. I used to have a life. That was before I learned how to write. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge. WARNING: Jumping into toxic waste does not give you super powers. Bad spellers of the world UNTIE! When nothing goes right... go left. It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up. OOOH.. DRAMA! Let's get popcorn! Do it today! It might be illegal tomorrow! You! Off my planet! The first sign of madness is talking to yourself. The second is when the voices in your head answer back. Allow me to introduce my selves. There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over. Not all men are annoying... some are dead. If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable. Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now. WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus. If I throw a stick, will you go away? Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them. It's you and me versus the world... we attack at dawn. A day without sunshine is like... night. I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster. I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight. Real friends don't let you do stupid things –– alone. The butterflies are plotting SOMETHING... Best friends know how stupid you are and still choose to be with you in public. Don't try to out-weird me –– I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. You say "crazy" like it's a bad thing. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there! Stressed is desserts backwards. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? I am free of all prejudices... I hate all people equally! I am in shape... round is a shape. I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool. I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. Oooooh... a life. Where can I download one? The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. People say that money can't buy happiness. However, I just purchased marshmallows. Isn't that the same thing? If it ain't broken... fix it 'til it is. I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS? Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the stars, and wondering, "Where the heck is my roof?" Ten percent of people believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call a "floor" –– a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive. A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water! I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't by accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide. EMO –– Extravagantly Made Origami Everything is edible. Everything. Even I am edible, but that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Taste the rainbow –– eat crayons! What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse." Do not lead me into temptation. I can find it myself. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life. Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. By the Hulk. On an adrenaline rush. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. Death by chocolate –– oh, what a way to go. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. I'd take a bullet for you. Not in the head, like in the leg or something. Worst. Idea. Ever. *pause* Let's do it. People who investigate noises in horror movies deserve to die. I've probably learned more from Google than I have from school. Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormous caterpillar. My friend's the kind of person who breaks the silence at a funeral by yelling, "KUNG POW CHICKEN!" When there's a will, I want to be in it. Don't try to hold your hand over my mouth to make me shut up. I'll lick you. The greatest pleasure in life is doing something people tell you not to. Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself! So stick that in your juice box and SUCK IT! Say no to drugs. Whatever it was –– I didn't do it! I swear Mario is a hobo. He wakes up every day in the same clothes, runs around in sewers collecting coins, and to buy what? MUSHROOMS! Ever noticed that "studying" is "student" and "dying" put together? Dear Guy-Sitting-Next-To-Me: Yeah, I see you copying me. But joke's on you. I didn't study either. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. Wanna hear a joke? Miley Cyrus. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves? If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you. I ROCK! Guitar hero told me. There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects. It's when they start to talk back that you need to worry. The trouble with real life is that there is no background music. If my calculations are correct... slinkies plus escalator = EVERLASTING FUN!! Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S... tell your friends. Three hundred sixty-four days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers. Yet on Halloween, it's encouraged! Why is that? Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out. What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man? You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired I put the mirror down! Facebook is like jail. You sit around and waste time, you write on walls, and you get poked by people you don't know! I wish I had Dora's parents… They let that girl go everywhere! I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years. Girls spend the first ten years of their lives playing with Barbies, and the next ten years trying to look like one. I decided to burn lots of calories today, so I set a fat kid on fire. I want to merge My Space, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT. Just because I'm cute doesn't mean I'm harmless. Please note: Christmas this year is cancelled. I told Santa I was good this year... and he died laughing. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute... screw the fruit! The surest sign of intelligent life out there is that none of them have tried to contact us. Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor. PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bad girl. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. When you find a real man... He broke my heart...So I broke his JAW! Girls don't make mistakes, we date them. A wise man once said, "I don't know. Go ask a woman." A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. Who was the first person who looked at a cow and say "I think I will squeeze those dangly things here and drink what comes out"? I'm such a genious. (Only good spellers will get the joke) Do people in England try to sound like Americans, like we try and have British accents? Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. Engineering: "How will this work?" You should never let anything stop you. Except safety rails. They're there for a reason. Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"? Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything. Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? We're so cool ice cubes are jealous. It's okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either. Ever wonder why bologna and lasagna don't rhyme? Laughing until your stomach hurts is what friends are for. You should always proofread what you write in case you any words. By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life I burst laughing out in class today... I got that joke you told yesterday! There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled. People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Yeah, well I'm all that and a bag of M&Ms. Taste my rainbow! The absolute greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't. Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides know they're playing. Does being fluent in sarcasm count as a second language? Obsession? What do you mean, I have an obsession? (hides book behind back) You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to. There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, and so there is an 'I' in MEATPIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder. Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it? If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future? A computer without Internet is like a person without a soul. When something has a sign that says "Do not touch" it is actually a test of how daring you are. Touch it. Tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling; it's cheaper than a smoke alarm. You are more likely to die on your way to buy a lottery ticket than to win the lottery. Punching someone in the face is a very efficient way to see how forgiving they are. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when it's already built? If you aren’t suppose to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? Funny world. Very few personal problems can't be solves through suitable applications of high explosives. I do too have an hourglass figure; the sands just keep shifting. I didn't lose my marbles. I gave them to a kid with a marble run. I love Mondays! Hey, the medication's working! I let my mind wander, and it never came back. Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be let out on its own. I just need a toxic substance... L.A. tap water will do just fine. I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and don't let it find me. It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them? I said I had my reasons. I never said you would understand. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing. Sarcasm is one more service we offer. Don't worry, our staff is used to stupid questions. Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. Diplomacy is the art of saying "Good doggie" while groping for a bigger stick. What's the point of having a giant paper clip if you won't use it for world domination? Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again! Note to self: do not use axe to kill a fly on a person's head. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 10% sugar, 10% spice, 80% demon child so you better be nice. I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. Yeah, he said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me...wait. Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will. Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die. I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse. I love how in scary movies the person says, “Hello?” as if the murderer’s gonna be like, “Yeah, I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?” I keep some people's phone numbers in my contacts just so I know not to answer when they call. If you were on fire and I had some water, I'd drink it. A clean house is a sign of a broken computer. Note to self: It is illegal to stab someone for being stupid. No matter how much they deserve it. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. Have you ever watched a Disney movie or something now that you're grown up and realized you had no idea what was going on when you first saw it? My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got detention for asking which end. Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you. There is nothing worse than that moment in which you are sure you're going to die after leaning back in a chair a little too far. I think that part of a best friend's job after you die is to immediately clear your computer history. Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my Life Alert! Keyboard not found... Press any key to continue. Ah, the internet: where men are men, women are also men, and thirteen-year-old girls are FBI agents. If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question. Sometimes, Google should come back with a message that says, "Trust me, you don't want to know." When butterflies fall in love do they feel humans in their stomachs? There’s a fine line between genius and stupidity. I like to play jump rope with that line. When I have kids someday, I’ll tell them to watch the movie 2012 and say, “I survived that.” If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. The internet is like Egypt; we write on walls, convey messages with pictures that no one understands, and worship cats. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? Scary thought: A ghost could be humping you right now and you'd never know. I hate it when you miss a call by like two seconds, but when you call back immediately after, no one answers. What did they do, leave a message, drop the phone, and sprint as far away as possible? Always say no to drugs, because if your drugs are talking to you, it's time to quit. A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder. I look around and all I see is stupid! On a completely unrelated topic, I like to look at mirrors. Can we be antisocial butterflies? Music is like candy; you throw away the rappers. “Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor." "Backwards?” "I’m skilled.” "Wait! Violence is not the answer!" "You're right; it's the question! And the answer is YES!" "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," the sarcastic teacher said. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will decend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, then pick your favorite.'' Your friend calls you at 3 in the morning. "Are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving." Would you like a cookie? So would I. I Googled you today and I'm disturbed with what I found. If you are reading this then step 1 of my evil plan is complete. I have no patience for impatient people. Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman. You're a great friend. But if the zombies are after us, I'm tripping you. DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. Misuse of "literally" makes me figuratively insane. Spelling is dificoult. If you can't be a good example, be a warning. What floats in water? Sorry. I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Kiss me. I'm pretending to be Irish. Fear of spiders: arachnophobia. Real men don't sparkle. Real men defeat dark wizards. Most Intelligent Person In The World [citation needed] Legen- Everything in moderation. Except chocolate. I am disappointment in you're grammar. Everything is easier said than done. Except for talking. That's about the same. Alliteration is alarmingly addictive. "B" is for BACON and that's good enough for ME! What girls don't know: when a boy acts like she hates them, he actually likes them. When life gives you lemons, it better also give you water and sugar. Otherwise your lemonade is going to really suck. When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and laugh your butt off while everyone tries to figure out how the heck you did it. When life gives you lemons, play with their DNA and make them into SUPER LEMONS! When life gives you lemons, scream, "I wanted LIMES!" When life gives you lemons, keep them. Because hey, free lemons! When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand the Mark of Athena instead. When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye. When life gives you lemons, smile and give thanks. Then, when life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll teach 'im. When life gives you lemons, make a super biofuel and end global warming. When life gives you lemons, make a biologically engineered virulent air-borne pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet except for you, because you have the antidote... unless you want to make lemonade, which is a whole lot less cooler. Ha ha, life gave you lemons! I got a bagel! If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. When life gives you Skittles, chuck them at people and yell, "TASTE THE RAINBOW!" Five Rules of Life: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If you can't kill 'em, you're screwed. Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline! If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have a bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you. Repost this if you found this funny, or wish you were the one who recorded the voice mail... Jumping right to the point: REVIEW. Writers –– all of them, from famous authors to subtle FF writers –– ALL depend on the feedback from our readers. Vision Dominican brought up an interesting albeit tragically true idea: "Lack of reviews is the greatest killer of fan fic writers out there. We at the institute wish to let the public know of how they can pitch in to save our dying writers. 1) Drop a review every other chapter. It may not seem like much, but reviews are actually what many of us want to see. That, and hits. Hits do make us happy but we don't really know if people like our story or not. 2) Visit our author page. Those kind of hits really make us happy. It's where we showcase our entourage of friends, beta readers, and stories. Some of us even tidy up with set areas for upcoming story ideas and character bios. 3) Send a personal message. While normally I'd prefer a review, emails are just as good. Really, it warms my heart to communicate with another reader or writer." What you call being "too lazy to review" is what we call "a flame to the pages" as the writers. That one minute or two that you felt "too lazy" to review is another minute of creeping discouragement that all writers feel as they begin to think... "Why am I even here…?" "What's even the point of continuing?" "My skills must be terrible…no one cares for my story…" "I'll never be a good writer...I quit." These are only a few thoughts that go through every writer's head –– that go through MY head –– when we put out a chapter / story with all our heart and soul within, and we sit there…and sit…and wait…and not a single person says even a word. If you're not a writer, you have NO IDEA how much that hurts… If you ARE a writer, then I'm sure you know just how great it feels when someone is kind enough to leave a heartwarming and encouraging review, and you read it, smiling while thinking…"Wow…I did it…" So, why not give fellow writers the same luxury here? Too many times I've seen epic and utterly beautiful works of literary art fall to pieces before finally being abandoned due to the terrible discouragement that the lack of reviews can cause. Sometimes, it is so severe that the very writer himself decides to quit, denying the world his skills of writing that I'm it would have deeply enjoyed. So… Just one minute, that's all it takes. Just a few gentle taps of the fingers on your keyboard, a few seconds or so of your time, and your words can SAVE a writer from a dark demise. Do me a favor: Go find a story, ANY story, anywhere here on Fanfic,net, and see if you can help it. If it has very little / no reviews at all, just check it out, and say whatever comes to mind. And enjoy the thought in mind that you could have just SAVED that story, with just a few taps of the keyboard… If you agree with what I have said then please copy and paste any part of this story you wish onto your profile. Modify it in any way you see fit; there is no need to use my exact words. You make it say what you want it to say. Thank you so much for reading, and please try to complete the 'mission' I have given you. With just a minute of your time, you could save a writer…so please, do it. Because, my readers… Silence is truly deafening…" The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction, or anything written in general People really need to pay attention to these. They are bolded for a reason. 1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it. 2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. If thou breakest this rule, this displeases the masses. 3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story. At beginnings and endings are fine. 4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting. 5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly. 6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well. 7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious. 8. Thou shalt not use , ;, or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character. 9. Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character! 10. Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame. 11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so. 12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary. This turns away the ones who taketh this business seriously. 13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words. 14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character –– yes, we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character. 15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning. 16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason). 17. Thou shalt show and not tell. 18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers. 19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speakest –– writing is an art. 20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise. 21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader. 22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed. 23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason. 24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on. It displeases the masses, causes thy readers to lose their vision, and makes angels weep. 25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before thou writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. 26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativity and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside. 27. Thou shalt use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers. How to Know if You're Addicted to Fanfiction: 10. You no longer refer to comments as "comments." They are now known only as "reviews." 9. Pens are for idiots, and you wouldn't be caught dead with one. How on earth are you supposed to erase when you want to rewrite? 8. You start laughing at the most inopportune times because you remembered something funny from a fanfic. 7. You pretend to take notes, but really you're getting a head start on your latest ficlet/oneshot/idea. 6. Short disclaimers are for losers. Whoever thinks up the craziest gets a cookie. 5. You can't write for English class because you've used up all your ideas for fanfiction. 4. A great story idea isn't a story idea. It's a plot bunny. 3. You hear people talking about a ship (the water variety), and you jump, like, five feet in the air and act like you've never heard the word used outside of the fanfiction context. 2. Whenever something inspiring happens, you screech, "Ooh! Fanfic idea!" and then immerse yourself in writing for the next three hours. 1. You repost this onto your profile! :) This has got to be one of the most clever brainteasers I've ever seen. Someone out there either has too much spare time, or is really good at Scrabble. DORMITORY ASTRONOMER DESPERATION MOTHER IN LAW THE EYES THE MORSE CODE SLOT MACHINES ELECTION –– RESULTS SNOOZE ALARMS A DECIMAL POINT THE EARTHQUAKES PRESBYTERIAN GEORGE BUSH ANIMOSITY ELEVEN PLUS TWO Have an American history teacher explain this… if they can. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head. Now it gets really weird. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters. Hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'. Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford'. Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater. Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. Now here’s the kicker. A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe. Creepy, huh? Ladies and gentlemen, skinny and stout One bright day in the middle of the night A blind man came to watch fair play He lived on the corner in the middle of the block He crashed through the wall without making a sound I watched from my corner of the big round table You say Twilight I say Rise of the Guardians You say vampires I say Guardians You say Jacob Black I say Pitch Black (who cares if they have nothing in common?) You say Team Edward I say Team Jack You say Robert Pattison is hot I say Chris Pine is HOTTER (in either his animated Frosty form or his Star Trek form; if I cared I'd say so) You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple? I beg to differ... it's so Frostbite You say Edward I say Bunnymund... beat that, punk Never seen Twilight, nor read the books, nor care a crap. If I got something wrong, tell me and I will grin with pride and mischief. Copy and paste if you think that our Guardians are better! Percy Jackson fans say, "I want to go to Camp Half-Blood!" Harry Potter fans say, "I want to go to Hogwarts!" Hunger Games fans say, "Nah, I'm fine where I am." |
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