um...right. Okay I have two other accounts: I'm Scarf on me & my friends joint profile obsessedmoronsociety here on fanfiction and kennydied on fictionpress. I like shounenai and yaoi and if you you don't then don't read what I write when it has warnings! I always put warning on my stories so don't read the story and then flame me or whatever cuz I warned you! I like: manga/ anime( d. gray-man, vassalord, naruto, necromancer...I'll think of more later.), tv shows( doctor who, supernatural, torchwood, generator rex, icarly...think of more later.) drawing, writing, chating w/ friends! Things I HATE: Twilight, Umbrindge, jerks, homophobes,having to wait a long time for updates( on both fanfic and manga)

quote time!

You don't need to outrun the bear. You need to outrun the other guy who's being chased by the bear.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

There are two types of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.

Procrastinators unite... tomorrow...

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think you're on drugs.

All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!

Dying is just nature's way of saying: "Hey! You're not alive anymore!"

Anyone who says "As easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

Stupid is just a 5 letter word.

Don't steal, The government hates competition.

We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do no walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone!

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

What goes around gets dizzy and falls over.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong? (yes)

Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!

The other car is designed by computer, built by a robot, driven by a moron.

My truck has been in 15 accidents... and hasn't lost one yet!

I'm faster than a speeding ticket!

You can be youthful once, but you can be immature forever!

Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.

I is an college student.

A procrastinator's work is never done.

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Look up for inspiration, down for concentration but don’t look side to side for information.

You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

Consciousness- that annoying time between naps

I love him, O yes I do,
He's for me, not for you,
And if by chance you take my place,
I'll take my fist and smash your face!

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by.

Silence is Golden, but shouting is fun.

I'm the kind of person who lauqhs at a joke 3 times
once when it's said
once when it's explained to me
once five minutes later when i finally get it

When I was younger I hated going to weddings... it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped that crap after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

We’ve just witnessed a classic case of something called ‘misdirected rage.’ I believe the technical term is ‘being an ass.’

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper,
and I get how Rock can beat Scissors,
but there's no way Paper can beat Rock.
Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" Rock, leaving it immobile?
Why the heck can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people?
Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly
suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody.
A rock would tear that up in about 2 seconds.
When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper
I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say,
'Oh crap, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you'"

A wise man once said, 'I don't know, go ask a woman.'

"Remember in elementary school, you were told that incase of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson

"Me? I'm dishonest, and with a dishonest man, you can always trust him to be dishonest. Honestly, its the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when he's going to turn around and do something incredibly stupid."
--Jack Sparrow

- From Lady Foxfire's 'Better Than A Backward Flushing Toilet'

"Yamamoto coughed. "So, does anyone else want to file sexual harassment charges against their captains?"

Two hands raised- Nanao's and Matsumoto's. Hitsugaya glared at his second. "Put your damned hand down, Matsumoto."

She looked offended. "I'm completely serious!" She turned to the Captain-General, "My captain is constantly looking at my chest, and it's starting to make me feel uncomfortable."

"For god's sake, woman, does it not occur to you that I'm only as tall as your chest? Of course I end up looking at them, they're the first thing I see when I look straight ahead."

"Oh? Then what about-"

"That would stop happening if you stopped hugging me! What is it about the words eye-level that you don't understand?"

Matsumoto relented, but still didn't look pleased. "Well, still."

Hitsugaya buried his face in his hands. "I hate you so much. When I hit puberty, I pray to God I turn out to be gay."

"Oh, taichou, am I really so awful as to turn you off women forever?"

"YES." Hitsugaya hissed. Matsumoto grabbed him and hugged him, subsequently burying his face in her chest with a strangled "Hurk!" noise.

"I'm so glad I've left an influence on you!"

His voice muffled from his face's current location within his vice-captain's cavernous cleavage, Hitsugaya pleaded, "Sir? Petition for a transfer of Lieutenants?"

"Denied, Hitsugaya-taichou."

"Damn it."

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God- forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile.
P.S. It is fun to raed suftf lkie tihs.

()()
(0.0)
( _ )

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

PLEASE READ.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

This is why Humans are doomed to die because of Stupidity:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Now i roam the underworld,

to help those in need.

I may seem evil,

but i'm not.

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

there were 3girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom, one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die.