SeldomAHero
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Joined 06-19-13, id: 4799679, Profile Updated: 03-25-16

Hi my name is Midnight. Let's travel into a corner of my mind for a second...Ellipses are awesome...

Let your mind flow freely to the land of unicorns, bloody gore, dragons, and very loud elderlies complaining about not being able to find their pants. Then you smile because you think of how that reminds you of when your parents gave you the Talk. Yeah. You wonder to this day" Why the fart nuggets am I thinking about that Indian riding the pretty unicorn into the sunset screaming' My hair is on firrreeee.'over and over and over and over and...


If you need a smile on your face read these...

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.


Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — "No, bitch, you move."


i am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go ( because i am forced to),I sit in a corner and read a book, and if I do dance, I dance solo. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak or a geek either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space or Yahoo, or talking to a girl friend on a cellphone or a regular phone. Heck... I dont even have friends. I am the girl that doesn't stalk boys because they're cute or are jocks. I am the girl who is so shy, paranoid, and crazy that people just tell me to shut up when I try to explain something to them. I am the girl who hates being around people for fear that they will hurt me.

the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. I am the girl whose family calls her a bitch when all I am doing is calling it how I see it. I am the girl who treads lightly so the universe won't even notice when I'm gone.

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You Grow Like a Tree by Kay the Cricketed reviews
The development of Gon and Killua on a yearly basis. Sometimes Killua knows what's going on and other times he doesn't. Killua x Gon, drabble.
Hunter X Hunter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,199 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 7/11/2017 - Published: 10/26/2008 - Gon F., Killua Z. - Complete
Academy Days by littlemoontiger reviews
Discontinued: (Adopt freely if you want): Naruto is considered the bane of the village by many,and is labeled as a permanent dobe. Yet, you should never judge a book by its cover; this story follows Naruto from being a neglected orphan to rising into greatness as he works to become a genin
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 120,673 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 11/15/2016 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Fetish? What's A Fetish? by Serac reviews
Naruto must learn about something. Something that will change his life, and the lives of those around him. Whether it be for the better or worse remains to be seen but, either way, Naruto is going to learn about sex.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 89,428 - Reviews: 1673 - Favs: 1,790 - Follows: 1,615 - Updated: 10/30/2015 - Published: 12/28/2006 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H., Ino Y.
Konoha's Yellow Flash Really Hates Paperwork by Sir Chris reviews
Namikaze Minato expected to be the Shinigami's dinner, not his judge of the dead. Now he must spend his days judging those that have died and file the paperwork when he is done. Maybe he should have stayed in the Shinigami's stomach after all. A humorous take on the life of a legend after his death, and what he finds as the years pass. Finished after nearly ten years!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 49 - Words: 237,225 - Reviews: 2079 - Favs: 1,648 - Follows: 1,276 - Updated: 9/14/2015 - Published: 2/21/2006 - Zabuza M., Minato N., Madara U., Shinigami - Complete
Fairy Tail: A Guild Life by SuperGenX reviews
Natsu unwittingly confesses his feelings to Lucy, which causes a massive chain reaction that echoes throughout not only the Fairy Tail Guild, but all of Fiore as well. Will they become a couple? If so, what kind of challenges await them? Love is never easy, especially in a world of magic and dragons. Expect some fluffy love and heart-pounding action!
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,846 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 9/13/2015 - Published: 10/14/2014 - Lucy H., Natsu D.
Fanficers Guide to the Galaxy: Cliches by xxYou-shall-be-my-Squishyxx reviews
My name is Aiko Hanashi and my goal is to humorously point out all the cliches I've noticed in my years a fanficing.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 35 - Words: 18,603 - Reviews: 935 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 269 - Updated: 8/19/2015 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Naruto U.
A Freak, A Creep & A Psychopath by Legendary Legacy reviews
A challenge response to Akun50's 'Unique Power-Ups' thread on The Fanfiction Forum. Kakashi is about to have a very bad day. Team 7 centric. No longer a one-shot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 39,196 - Reviews: 1568 - Favs: 4,332 - Follows: 3,701 - Updated: 5/4/2015 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Kakashi H., Team Seven
Awakening by Daxii reviews
Shizuku keeps waking up to find Haru in her bedroom. Something's wrong with him, but he won't tell her what. She only hopes their impromptu sleepovers can help him work through whatever it is that sends him so desperately searching for her comfort. Can be read as platonic or HaruShizuku. Tried to keep it inline with anime canon.
My Little Monster/となりの怪物くん - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,897 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 17 - Published: 10/30/2014 - Complete
Finding Paradise by DeathGuardian24 reviews
After the the war of the giants, Percy is betrayed, abandoned, and became unwanted. While wandering on the streets a man has given him powers far more than the gods. Watch as he use this power to find his home, his paradise. Not an ordinary chaos story.Rated T.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 28 - Words: 120,644 - Reviews: 1862 - Favs: 2,396 - Follows: 2,339 - Updated: 7/31/2014 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Percy J., Artemis
Epic Sexting Failures by PhoenixDiamond reviews
Sexting is harder then it looks. Grimmjow and Ichigo have learned this the hard way.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,080 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 301 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 6/30/2014 - Published: 6/25/2013 - [Ichigo K., Grimmjow J.] - Complete
Forever by NightFury812 reviews
A few years after defeating Pitch, Jack Frost returns to the town of Burgess to bring about winter once more and hang out with Jamie. However, when Pitch suddenly appears and tries to kidnap the boy, Jack swears upon his life that he will protect Jamie or die trying.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 73,671 - Reviews: 432 - Favs: 300 - Follows: 319 - Updated: 5/5/2014 - Published: 11/19/2012 - Jack Frost, Jamie, Bunnymund - Complete
Dear Writers of Naruto, No Just No by PhoenixDiamond reviews
Hilarious letters written to the fans of Naruto based on the characters need to correct some improper information displayed through endless cliche tales written about them. Canon based world. Slight pairings mentioned. Enjoy.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 87 - Words: 17,065 - Reviews: 2622 - Favs: 1,144 - Follows: 679 - Updated: 12/27/2013 - Published: 1/20/2012 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Destined by ichilover3 reviews
It's not the destination that matters, it's the journey- and the Konoha 9 are in for a wild ride. Sorta-sequel to Into the Future. Series of oneshots set in Futureverse. Multiple pairings.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 42,619 - Reviews: 1094 - Favs: 1,282 - Follows: 940 - Updated: 12/8/2013 - Published: 3/28/2011 - [Naruto U., Hinata H.] [Shikamaru N., Temari] - Complete
I Like by TheGirlWithNoIQ reviews
It was a simple task; share to the class what you like and why. No one had suspected what Gaara had to say. Or how obvious it was possible to be. Rated M to what you imagine...read at own risk! X3
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,364 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/8/2013 - Complete
Itachis Diary of Doom by xXxTriggerxXx reviews
Itachi takes the time to reflect in the 'privacy' of his diary. After all, living in the Akatsuki base with a bunch of hyper active, bored criminals has got to be funny enough to write down for future reference. Due to complaints, I am obliged to warn people not to read later chapters during class.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 44 - Words: 71,974 - Reviews: 735 - Favs: 496 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 10/28/2013 - Published: 6/7/2012 - Itachi U., Akatsuki - Complete
Facebook's Ninja Community by satiric-pandas reviews
A very thick mixture of insanity, empathy, and enough sexual tension to feed a village for thirty days.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,679 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/25/2013 - Published: 7/23/2013 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Paperwork Sucks by Alice Uzumaki reviews
This is how all the Hokage would react to their paperwork if it were filled to the brim. How would they snap? There's something else to add to the paperwork that adds to the snap, I hope you enjoy! Rated T for a reason! Please read and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,274 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 25 - Published: 6/14/2013 - Hiruzen S., Tsunade S., Hashirama S., Tobirama S. - Complete
The World's Greatest Chunin Exam Team by Dane Namor reviews
Set a year after the war. Naruto, frustrated at being told he's going to have to miss out on another Chunin exam due to no available teams, seeks to solve the problem himself. The story of an S-Class Ninja forming an equally ridiculous team to compete against Genin. [Some NaruHina] (Complete)
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 61,419 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 2,270 - Follows: 747 - Updated: 5/18/2013 - Published: 5/6/2013 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
I Just Had To by TheGirlWithNoIQ reviews
In a mission to track down and follow the Akatsuki to their hideouts, Naruto and Hinata have to be alone in a week. Will Hinata dare to confess to him, and will Naruto understand the feelings he has towards her? Finally complete!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 31,517 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 4/22/2013 - Published: 5/3/2012 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Operation: Kill Tobi by xXxTriggerxXx reviews
The Akatsuki plot to destroy the biggest threat they have ever faced...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 49,617 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 11/27/2012 - Published: 6/11/2012 - Akatsuki, Obito U.
The Truth by sandydragon reviews
The truth behind the events and characters of Naruto. Reviews always welcome.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 24 - Words: 9,015 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/8/2012 - Published: 8/3/2009
I'm Not Stupid by xXxTriggerxXx reviews
When Deidara insults him, Tobi strikes back.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 642 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/11/2012 - Deidara, Obito U. - Complete
Forty two by Alia Rubrik reviews
Sasuke and Naruto ponder life's mysteries. In the midst of a battlefield. Whilst high on weed.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,610 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Behind Troy by Alia Rubrik reviews
A teenagers guide to the history of Troy. Focuses on the history behind the downfall of Troy, and what led up to it. One shot. Crack. Rated for language. Not all of the info is quite correct, but it mostly is.
Troy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 820 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/28/2011 - Complete
Geniuses of Hard Work by froznfox72 reviews
Might Guy trades Neji and Tenten to take Naruto and Hinata on his team. Can he take this group of misfits and turn them into a team of geniuses...or will he be forced to give up wearing spandex forever? Naruhina LeexAyame
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 258,843 - Reviews: 1912 - Favs: 3,858 - Follows: 2,098 - Updated: 6/20/2011 - Published: 6/30/2010 - [Naruto U., Hinata H.] Lee R., Gai M. - Complete
Into the Future by ichilover3 reviews
As payment for their last mission, Team 8 receives a device that projects the future. Everyone but Shikamaru is eager to try it, as he is convinced that someone will be embarrassed. And, as usual, he is right. Multiple pairings. *Sequel up*
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,015 - Reviews: 1597 - Favs: 3,786 - Follows: 1,326 - Updated: 3/1/2011 - Published: 10/21/2010 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Proof that Killer Bee is Rubbing Off on Naruto by ichilover3 reviews
Sakura froze. Kakashi almost dropped his book. God help us all.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,431 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 834 - Follows: 143 - Published: 12/9/2010 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Itachi and Kisame Get High by Xorncon - Number 0 reviews
While passing through a small village, a merchant tells Kisame about a special herb that supposedly makes people 'see things.' Kisame buys it to try and help Itachi's deteriorating eyesight, and the two soon discover it's good stuff.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,194 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Itachi U., Kisame H. - Complete
Plenty more room in the bedroom by sweetness4theheart reviews
Hinata's just a little shy in the bedroom so she finally works up the courage to tell Naruto that they need someone to help. It's just too bad Hinata didn't realise that Naruto wasn't alone in his office. Hinata/Naruto/Sasuke/Kakashi/Yamato/Neji
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,271 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Hinata H., Naruto U. - Complete
Naruto: Fallen Leaves by SuperKayJin reviews
Not all Leaves fall beside the Tree of their birth. The Whirlpool Country has risen and a dire warning of the end of the world is given. A New Era will be ushered in by the Greatest Shinobi of the Age... Uzumaki Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,064 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 10/9/2008 - Published: 2/4/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
The ABC's of Hinata's Pregnancy by PervySage101 reviews
That's right! Hinata's pregnant and Naruto's being... well, Naruto. Need I say more? Naruto's POV.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 434 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/2/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Dedication Of A Song by Sakura Hien reviews
Team 7's mission is to sing at a club's opening and Naruto is dedicating the song to someone special.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,242 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/30/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Birthday Presents Require Deepthinking by southdakotaboy reviews
Naruto gives Hinata a birthday gift. What could possibly go wrong?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
God Speaks by southdakotaboy reviews
Naruto and Hinata go to heaven. Pure fun and much giggling.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 470 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Hinata H., Naruto U. - Complete
Phallic Confusion by Diamond Mask reviews
In which Sai makes a new friend and Suigetsu learns that he must have a small penis. Suigetsu x Sai non-yaoi. Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,436 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 20 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Suigetsu H., Sai - Complete
A Fate Worse Than Death by Legendary Legacy reviews
Gaara knew that being the youngest Kazekage in history would be difficult, but nothing could have possibly prepared him for something like this. Mockfic. I am highly proficient at summaries.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,544 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 58 - Published: 7/20/2007 - Gaara - Complete