If you can read this, you're reading my profile.

READ MY STORIES INSTEAD!

No Solicitations

Buyer Beware

No Refunds

If you are seeking Zen, you are WAY off course...

C'mon, Pilgrim, you know He loves you!

A dwarf walks into a brothel with a jackass and a honeycomb...

If the answer is 'David Bowie', what is the question?

Know what's good? Bacon.

'The Winds of Winter' will be published just as soon as GRRM is finished describing the pastries served at Jon Snow's victory feast.

LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!

(Admit it, you looked, didn't you.)

Contrary to popular belief, I do enjoy receiving a review from time to time.

You still here?

GO READ MY STORIES! LEAVE A REVIEW! I SWEAR TO GOD I WON'T GET MAD!