How to Review Properly (for all intelligent, non-assholes out there)

When sending someone a review, consider the following:

-Is their grammar correct?

-How do they space out their paragraphs?

-How good is the flow of the story?

-Are the characters believable? (No Sues, please!)

-Is this story even interesting to read?

-Is the situation believable/realistic? (Optional)

-Does the story fit into the genre it has been placed? (Romance/horror, etc)

-Is everything bolded/in italics/in capital letters?

Once you have considered the above, you can submit a comprehensive, helpful review to the author. Also, try to be polite- no one likes an asshole. And please, do NOT use slang in a review. No. Just... No.

WoW (Wall o' Wisdoms)

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Annoyance is oft followed by a magnum round to the face. Or a boot to the head.

This life is a test. It is only a test. had this been a real life, you would have been instructed on where to go, and what to do.

If God had something that needs to be fixed, he uses duct tape.

Pro Libertate Omnium.

The term "teddy-bear hugging, pixie-dust bleeding girly-man" is considered fighting words. Remember this.

There is no such thing as a good man, or a bad man. There is just a man, and his choices.

Stick-it's! (i.e stick it in your profile.)

If keyboards and mice hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK AND THE SHIFT AND ENTER BUTTONS!!)

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile.

Useful Links and what have you

A useful link full of advice for writing fanfic- or just plain writing. Use this page of knowledge well, friend.

A good Mary Sue test to guage how much of your character is simply wish fulfillment- and, by the same token, how interesting they are to read. No one likes a Mary Sue.

Quotations!

"Cicero is hungry...need a sweetroll...or a carrot." - Cicero, TES V: Skyrim

"You think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language." - Bender, The Breakfast Club

"That is a cow, all right." - The Sorcerer, Diablo

"That is a BIG mushroom!" - the Sorcerer, Diablo

"You'll find I'm full of surprises!" - Luke Skywalker, Star Wars: Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back

Welp, that's the end of my profile. If your eyes haven't been burned out of your skull yet, have some toffee, on the house.