realemmettcullen
So I was driving my Jeep down the green roads of Forks when an big ass billboard caught my eye. NEW MOON November 20, 2009 I groaned as the thought of the frenzy that would ensue flashed in my mind. The ridiculousness of the book series that this movie was based on irked me to no end. Cause you see, I was the real Emmett Cullen and that bitch Stephanie Meyer messed up my families story. I'm here to tell the real Twilight story. With all the gory and explicit details Meyer could never dream of.My family and I have decided to come out of the coffin and clear up this Twilight mess. BTW, Twilight is a pretty sucky name for a vampire story. How about Bloodsucking Dude Falls in Love With Blushing Girl. And no I am not a dimwitted male whose only loves are sex and games. I also happen to enjoy poetry hour at Borders and long discussions on the meaning of life. So read my story if you dare. I promise lots of laughs and a healthy dose of smut. Follow Me On Twitter. Nuff Said |
