Facts of Life

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

If you think that you are too small to make a difference, then you have never been alone in the dark with a mosquito.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane . . . because well behaved girls never made history.

If your name is Mr.Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil!

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

Never eat something you can't pronounce

Don't lead to me temptation... I can find it myself

There's nothing that can't be fixed with: duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.

My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you all at the same time.

I'm awesome. Agree or die.

An essay is an attempt to explain something that could have been said in two sentences

Life isn't passing me by. It's trying to run me over.

You call me a B. Well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :P

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of people I killed because they annoyed me.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The dark side of any cloud is just the shadow of the silver lining.

I want to die like my grandmother died- asleep and at peace...not screaming like the passengers in her car.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!"
Well, I think guns help.
If you stood there and yelled Bang,
I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Suicide is like telling God you cant fire me, I quit

They laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because there all the same.

Don't knock on deaths door, ring the doorbell and run! He hates that.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?"

You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

He who laughs last didn't get it

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter

"I'm not afraid of death i'm afraid of something much worse... my mother"

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."

"Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."

"Everything will be ok in the end and if it's not ok, it's not the end."

"You'll never leave where you are until you decide where you want to be."

"Take away love, and our earth is a tomb."

Life sucks-Get over it!

Robbers stab you in the stomach. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. Friends stab you in the back. Best friends don't carry knives.

What a Boyfriend SHOULD Do:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
don't look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking?"