Smile... It makes people wonder what you're up to.

I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.

Be the kind of women that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says: Oh, shizzles! She's up!"

Every girl needs a man that won't break her heart and a pair of friends that will kick his butt if he does.

Call me what you want, I don't care. Insult my friends lets take a walk. And I'll give you a hint: You're going to need an ambulence.

Never go to bed angry... Stay up and plot your revenge!

I'm not immature! I just know how to have fun!

I didn't lose my mind! I sold it on eBay...

I was never lying when I told you I'd hit you with a lawn gnome.

Not only do I fall down the stairs; I trip up them too! Now that takes TALENT!

Anyone can get hit by a moving car. But it takes skills to get hit by a parked car.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

If you have something to say, raise your hand and put it over your mouth.

What part of punching you in the face did you not understand?

No! I can't go to hell! They already gave me a restrain order!

Don't be Humble, your not that great.

If your too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Silence is Golden. Duct Tape is Silver.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Live dangerously. Run with scissors