DakotatheRedLotushide bio
 Welcome to Hell, Ladies and Gentlemen. Just joking, or am I? About Me: I've read fanfiction for years, but never wrote anything. Now I've decided to stop being a lazy ass and publish things that people will hopefully want to read. Gender: Female Age: High School Student ( That's all you need to know) Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Brown Literature: The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod, Blue Bloods, Generation Dead, Vampire Academy, House of Night, Alice in the Contry of Hearts, Harry Potter, several works of Edgar Allen Poe, and Death Note. Movies: Queen of the Damned, Sweeney Todd, Edward Scissorhands, Nightmare Before Christmas, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Little Miss Sunshine, The Breakfast Club, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Were the World Mine, Zombieland, Purple Rain, Easy A, Harry Potter, Grease 2, Mean Girls, Hairspray (the original and the remake), Mulan, The Incredibles, and Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. Bands/Music: Black Veil Brides, The GazettE, My Chemical Romance, Vocaloid, Asking Alexandria, Avenged Sevenfold, SHINee, MBLAQ, Nightmare, Uverworld, SID, Panic! At The Disco, Blood on the Dancefloor, Jeffree Star, Green Day, All Time Low, 30 Seconds To Mars, Falling in Reverse, and Florence and the Machine. A few non-cannon yaoi couples that I ship (Although I'm all for cannon couples too): HanabusaxKaname -Vampire Knight CielxAlois/SebastianxGrell/WilliamxGrell/SebastianxClaude/RonaldxWilliam- Black Butler IzayaxMasaomi- Durarara SoubixSeimi- Loveless SoubixKio- Loveless LightxL- Death Note TamakixKyoya- Ouran High School Hos Club RinxYukio- Blue Exorcist |
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THE DARK DANCE by maliciouspixie5 reviews
The fairy tales and warnings Bella Swan's grandmother used to tell her were real. Never, ever dance in a Fairy Circle, and never be drawn in by a handsome Fae male. One night Bella is drawn from her home into the forest – will she join the dance?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 64,142 - Reviews: 558 - Favs: 443 - Follows: 705 - Updated: 9/30/2016 - Published: 4/16/2012 - Bella, Edward
He Leaves Me Broken by MaximumRideTwilightLover reviews
Set during New Moon. Edward leaves Bella. Bella gets caught in an abusive relationship with Mike Newton. Then Edward and the Cullens return. Will Edward be able to piece together Bella's broken heart before Mike breaks her? E/B. Rated M for abuse
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,946 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/14/2016 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Juice Box Wars by typerventilating reviews
Bella wants a juice box. Edward doesn't want cooties. When Edward devises a plan to save the boys from this horrible "disease" Bella has to fight for her juice box drinking rights! AH BellaXEdward Fluff, cute! One-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,478 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/20/2015 - Published: 5/16/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Twilight Songfics by Twilighter80 reviews
Twilight songfics based on different songs. Multiple POV's. All human. Probably some OOC. Moved to fictionpad.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 35,429 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/1/2014 - Published: 1/21/2009 - Complete
Twilight 101 by Johnny Emm reviews
A bunch of songs I wrote about Twilight. Features re-writes of Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Metallica, The Offspring, Nirvana, Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold, and many more. Rated M for language and Themes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 44 - Words: 16,641 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/18/2014 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Complete
It wasn't me by Reike90 reviews
Bella is the Princess of France. Her father King Charlie is a cruel ruler. One day her kingdom is attacked and she is brought to England to serve Prince Edward as a slave. People around her hate her because of what her father did. Can Edward help her?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,106 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 2/26/2013 - Published: 10/27/2008 - Bella, Edward
Beautiful by DazzledIn2008 reviews
Bella, new to "the lifestyle," attends a party at dominant Edward Cullen's house, and he shows an interest in her.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 80,322 - Reviews: 898 - Favs: 1,281 - Follows: 1,280 - Updated: 8/19/2012 - Published: 12/7/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Grasping Darkness by KiyaRaven reviews
She dreams of darkness. Lust. Passion. The man she fantasizes about has it all, especially the darkness. The problem is, he's not really a man. Rated M for language & dark themes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 267,922 - Reviews: 8407 - Favs: 6,150 - Follows: 4,328 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Prayer by ChOcOlAtE rAiNbOw Cd'S reviews
Bella Swan is trapped in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend, James, while falling prey to a violent stepfather at home, too. What happens when Edward Masen, a counselor at school, notices her bruises? Will he be the answer to her prayers? AH A
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 59,497 - Reviews: 348 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 3/11/2012 - Published: 6/15/2009 - Bella, Edward
Harry Potter and the Much Needed Family by BeautifulllDisaster09 reviews
This story is about Harry's parents and godfather coming back and saving him from the abusive Dursley house. Waring: Rated M for abuse,rape, and child neglect. HPxGW, JPxLP
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 23,251 - Reviews: 462 - Favs: 743 - Follows: 528 - Updated: 1/4/2012 - Published: 8/15/2007 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
The Ties That Bind by NicoleTwilight reviews
Edward's POV of Bella's pregnancy, burning and awakening in Breaking Dawn. Covers all the missing moments with Edward, Bella and the Cullens, and what they went through. See what happened after Bella ran into Rosalie's arms at the airport...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 201,126 - Reviews: 1172 - Favs: 1,230 - Follows: 626 - Updated: 10/29/2011 - Published: 5/7/2009 - Bella - Complete
Jaspers Fun with Emotions by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
Jasper changes Emmetts Emotions, and decides to see what Edward does! boys will be boys, oh wait Vampires will be Vampires! Was meant to be a one-shot, but not anymore!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,613 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Edward, Jasper
New Beginning by don'teatmycookie reviews
Bella uses Edward's laptop to start a journal.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 128,459 - Reviews: 1735 - Favs: 941 - Follows: 885 - Updated: 2/12/2011 - Published: 1/31/2008
Androgynous by Queen-Cocaine reviews
AU: ...First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, he was unconditionally and irrevocably...straight. A twist on Twilight. Male!Bella EB Slash
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,943 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 2/1/2011 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Bella, Edward
Things a Vampire Can’t Do by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
A series of VERY FUNNY one-shots of things our favorite vampires can't do. Set in Eclipse. Brought to you by JasperSAYSrelax128 writer of "Oops, he did it again!"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,383 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Complete
My Black Dahlia by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When Edward left Bella in New Moon, she became a drug/cutting addict. She is sent to Rehab, but what if her doctor, who is supposed to help her get better, is the reason she's there? Will she except help from Edward?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 31,571 - Reviews: 1059 - Favs: 418 - Follows: 234 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Looks Of An Angel by Brown-EyesxGold-Eyes reviews
Charlie put Bella up for adoption because of her powers. How will she fit into a life when there is always someone trying to take her away? Finally comfortable with the Cullens, how will she feel when she has to go back to Charlie's abusing ways?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 91,148 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 301 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 1/14/2011 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Sapphire Amulet by ebtwisty9 reviews
AU: Ship watcher Bella is kidnapped onto a pirate ship where the captain, Edward, had sworn to never let a woman except for his family to set foot. Can Bella prove her worth? ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 70,252 - Reviews: 1931 - Favs: 1,649 - Follows: 1,051 - Updated: 7/29/2010 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Seducing Ms Swan by DQRC reviews
AU Post-NM. Teacher!Bella, Student!Edward; a struggle of wills, an attempt at seduction, a dark secret, a dash of UST, a gallon of attitude, antagonistic motorcycling, a hell of a lot of angst and one unforgettable scene in a snow storm.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 132,610 - Reviews: 5932 - Favs: 6,263 - Follows: 4,854 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Twilight Characters visit the set of TWILIGHT! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Woah! Why do Bella and Edward have mega-phones? Why is Catherine pulling her hair out? And you know that deer out the start of the movie? Who knew, but he's a DI-VA!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 26 - Words: 13,419 - Reviews: 532 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 7/4/2010 - Published: 5/17/2009
Meeting Mom by LauraHannah90 reviews
Charlie is out of town, so he calls in Renee to stop any 'funny business' between Bella and Edward. But Bella falls sick and Edward helps care for her. Renee analyses his love for her daughter, curious about their intense relationship. Will Renee approve?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,802 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Edward, Renée - Complete
My Bleeding Heart by goinback2hogwarts reviews
Isabella is abused by her father Charlie When the Cullens and the Hales move into the neighboring houses will they be able to help Bella? Will she seek their help? sorry i suck at summaries! this is my first fanfic!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 41,284 - Reviews: 454 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Bella, Edward
Twilight Parody Lyrics by little-miss-twilighter reviews
Artists include; Katy Perry, MCR, Muse, AAR, 30h!3, Evanescence, Taylor Swift, Snow Patrol, Paramore, RJA, Mayday Parade, Maroon 5 and many more. Sure to be something you like : Multiple POVs and story settings.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Poetry - Chapters: 66 - Words: 24,288 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 3/7/2009
When it Rains by chivalryisntdead reviews
Bella comes home one night to discover Charlie acting out of character, and Jacob and Billy seem to be behind it. What happens when Edward finds a letter waiting for him rather than her? After Eclipse, before Breaking Dawn . ExB of course! REWRITTEN!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 26,577 - Reviews: 254 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 214 - Updated: 5/29/2010 - Published: 12/12/2008 - Bella, Edward
Troubled Soul by CullenTwilightFan reviews
Set in New Moon. Edward leaves and Bella falls apart. When the cullens return, Charlie died and she has become a cutter. She needs help. Im no good at summarys, but please R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,283 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 5/16/2010 - Published: 11/30/2009 - Bella, Edward
Purity by moondancer1179 reviews
Bella's father is a religious fanatic. Will Edward and the Cullens figure out Bella's secret without revealing their own?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 114,967 - Reviews: 477 - Favs: 368 - Follows: 438 - Updated: 5/2/2010 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
Plotline Parodies by The Dawn Is Breaking reviews
What readers don't need is another story with unoriginal characters & cliched plots. What the Twilight characters don't need is a fan popping up in their world and ruining the story and their lives. From the author of "The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show".
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 29,764 - Reviews: 269 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 12/21/2008
The Vampire List by The Masked Butterfly reviews
Bella is counting down the days until she can marry Edward and the terms of their compromise can be fulfilled. But as always, Edward wants something else to be given, what now? He's just trying to prolong Bella's life, right? Or maybe not. DISCONTINUED
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,953 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/12/2010 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Bella, Edward
And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead by Dee12 reviews
“Not a single drop of blood.” His eyes are stern. He means every word. “That’s our rule of thumb and if you break it, I’ll kill you.” Edward helps Rosalie get revenge. E/R one shot. Pre-Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,918 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Edward, Rosalie - Complete
It wouldnt let you out by x-my-immortal-x reviews
ExB-Bella's mother is dead, father is abusive & brother turned to drink. She is left in a world where she is alone! alone until a bronze haired boy changes her world. But will it work out? can she deal with everything life has thrown at her? Please Read!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 22,071 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/14/2010 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Bella, Edward
If You Could Save Them by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
The ethical dilemma of being a mind-reader, having all the power of a vampire, and living in the human world. Pre-Twilight. A look into a likely scenario Edward may have had to encounter. One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,686 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Edward - Complete
Our Song by IvyandLime reviews
One lazy February afternoon finds Bella questioning Edward on a small part of their relationship. His response is one Bella will remember for the rest of her life. One-shot. AH.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,889 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
To end the Pain by CullenTwilightFan reviews
Set in new moon. Bella is suicidal, she never became friends with Jacob and she finally decides to end it. Rated T for suicide and bad language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,625 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 15 - Published: 1/26/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Tears Shed by Ms. Amanda Rose reviews
Isabella Swan hates her life. Her mother drinks non-stop and her step father is abusive. Bellas mom decided she should go live with Charlie and have a better life. Like that will happen. ALL-HUMAN Rated M for Rape.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 24,173 - Reviews: 368 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 1/21/2010 - Published: 7/10/2008
Just my luck by Alycat13 reviews
Charlie finds out that Edward comes over every night when he is asleep to be with Bella. He gets really mad- to say the least.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,664 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Charlie S.
Twilight Parody by TwilighterluvsEdward reviews
The title explains it all. Part 1 of 4 parodies of the entire Twilight saga. Really funny parody that follows the plot of Twilight.PLease review! Hilarious jokes about Twilight.WARNING: Might make you cry from laughing too hard...Seriously.Original ideas!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,914 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Edward, Bella
Well, This Sucks: Life According to Seth by Krum Cake reviews
Peek into the intimate pages of Seth Clearwater's man-journal as he complains about life, love, and teenage shape-shifter angst. Post BD, canon-compliant, rating for language and sex humor...because Seth is a teenage boy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 53,039 - Reviews: 1129 - Favs: 929 - Follows: 800 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Seth
This Is Reality by kittkatt123 reviews
When Edward came back, Bella was in more emotional pain than she was in NM. What happens when Edward finds scars on Bella’s wrists? What will the Cullens to do make sure Bella is alright? Will she be okay?Rated M for cutting. Dedicated to Vampirechick123
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 65,256 - Reviews: 756 - Favs: 432 - Follows: 435 - Updated: 11/23/2009 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Jacob Black Parade by Johnny Emm reviews
My Chemical Romance and Twilight collide in my rendition of The Black Parade. Tells the story of Jacob Black from mid-Eclipse to mid-Breaking Dawn. Rated T for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Poetry - Chapters: 14 - Words: 4,968 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/22/2009 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Jacob, Bella - Complete
One Final Eve by IvyandLime reviews
Ninety-seven year old Angela Cheney is spending Christmas Eve reflecting on memories from her past, when a surprise visit from some old friends makes her Christmas Eve one final eve to remember. Written for the iFic Canon Christmas Contest.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,511 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 15 - Published: 11/18/2009 - Angela - Complete
Marriage by spyoftherouge reviews
Bella is the beloved Princess of France. When she has an arranged marriage to the Prince of England, can she re-establish a good reputation with the unwilling Englishmen? Betrayal, adventure, battle, and loss.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,964 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 11/8/2009 - Published: 9/21/2008
They fight Parris falls by Nat Meyer reviews
What if the competition between Edward and Jacob had resulted in a fight?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,094 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/9/2009 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Bella
Reunited by Fated Faerie reviews
When Edward left, Bella had to face many dangers, but none as bad as the Volturi. Blackmailing her to join, she became a member of the Guard. What happens when Aro sends her on a mission and she see's some unexpected faces.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 25,035 - Reviews: 249 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 9/30/2009 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward
Just Keep Moving by Damon4eva reviews
Spark Sequel! Edward and Bella are caught kissing in a classroom and have been on the run since. Will the police catch them or eventually give up? And will they realise Bella's real 'special ability' before it gets them into trouble?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,497 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 9/27/2009 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
You Don't Know The Half Of It by NotYourBestFriend reviews
Edward Cullen had it all. Fame, money, good looks. Until one day, a little girl shows up on his door step, claiming he's her father. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 45,192 - Reviews: 733 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 345 - Updated: 9/24/2009 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Edward, Bella
Pink Fluffy Pencil Case by CrystalBrooke reviews
AH. No one talks to Edward Cullen. He's the weird emo kid with the sexy hair and black skinny jeans. He denies he wears guyliner, but he totally does. Bella is the new girl, and doesn't get why he hates her. Never judge a person by their pencil case...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 47,495 - Reviews: 2805 - Favs: 2,128 - Follows: 1,257 - Updated: 9/17/2009 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Try Our Product? by Kari Twilight Mist reviews
Random encounters the different characters in the Twilight universe have with everyday products. Short chapters. Updated randomly. DISCONTINUED
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,356 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/4/2009 - Published: 4/27/2009 - Complete
Miss March by ShortyLilHalf-and-Half reviews
After Edward left in New Moon, Bella turned into a vampire. Years later Emmett finds a magazine and reviels to Edward the Bella is Miss March! What will Edward do to get her back? Based off the tailer of Miss March. Rated K plus 2 T. First Fanfic. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,561 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
Love Conquers All by XEdwardXxXLoverX reviews
Bella and Renee never left Charlie. Bella has been abused for the last 10 years of her life, and Renee is dead. What happens when the Cullen's move into town and discover Bella's secret? Will love blossom? EXB usual pairings...all human...ON HOLD
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 20,648 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 8/29/2009 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Bella, Edward
Languages by Duck Life reviews
The Cullens and Bella have a lot of different ways of saying things. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 549 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/20/2009 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Bella, Edward
Victory At Last by BBfan4ever reviews
Bella, my love, I have awaited this moment for a long time,” He hisses as he stares at her hungrily. Chapter one redone since it was crap!I finally updated! Let me know what you think!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,358 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 8/14/2009 - Published: 6/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Jasper's Powers by Alice Whitlock Hale Cullen reviews
A little fun with Jasper's powers are in order when life in Forks gets a little dull. A string of either one or two-shots. Set in between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,701 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Jasper
Sexy Back! by FuzzyWuzzyWithBadHaircut reviews
Its Edwards birthday and his family and Bella decide to surprise him with a present. Too bad its going to be given to him in front of the whole school, and of course its not your average present either! -One Shot-
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,001 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 8/1/2009 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Truth or Dare Cullen Style by jldarling83 reviews
Truth or Dare Cullen Style
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 39,867 - Reviews: 454 - Favs: 602 - Follows: 310 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 5/19/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
New Moon Parody by Team Edcob 4 Life reviews
Alice discovers an extra present for Bella's birthday. See all of the trouble the breaks loose! PLEASE REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 318 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/30/2009 - Bella - Complete
Three May Be A Party, But To Me Its Just A Crowd by NotYourBestFriend reviews
Charlie's new girlfriend moves in with Bella and Charlie. Bella is more than a little put out with her.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,263 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 7/22/2009 - Published: 7/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
Our Little Issue by typerventilating reviews
Anybody think there needed to be more "sex-talk" scenes between Edward and Bella? Well, if you do then here is another version of their talk or another try at the sex-talk. Mostly random, but cute. Fluff. BxE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,011 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Twilight Speak! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
A whole lot of twilight quotes, phrases, people and place names, plus their more honest, funny translations.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 7/17/2009 - Published: 4/20/2009 - Complete
Jacob Black Must Die by Elphabella1122 reviews
A Twilight Twist on the movie John Tucker Must Die. OOC in some characters. Bella gets revenge on the Serial Cheater Jacob Black, Will she fall for him before she can break his heart? Some BxJ, BxE Can read without seeing movie, but might spoil. Bella POV
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,886 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Bella
Love Gays by HyperVampireChick reviews
A songfic parody of Lady Gaga's Love Game. EdwardxJacob
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 536 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Jacob, Edward - Complete
When you're gone by Reike90 reviews
Edward left Bella. She's raped by Mike. What happens when Edward comes back and Bella is pregnant. How will he react? And what will Mike do when he discovers he is going to be a daddy? Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 12,728 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 296 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I Saw Emmett Naked by Dreamstallion33 reviews
In her short life thus far Renesmee had thought she'd seen it all! Turns out that was all just the beginning...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,614 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie
The Cullens love Michael Jackson! by KarlaAndTaniaAreImmortal reviews
It was supposed to be a normal day at the Cullen’s household but it quickly became one of the most triadic days ever. But it all so became one of those day that bring the Cullen's even closer together. RIP Michael Jackson! One Shot. Written by: Karla!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 945 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Puberty and Pranks by ShesInLoveWithTheBoy reviews
I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Your. Brother." His eyes were confused for a second. "Which one?" I lifted my arm and pointed to the obvious "puberty prank of the week" behind him... Nessie and Emmett's pranks on eachother. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 633 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Emmett - Complete
New Moon Parody by TwilighterluvsEdward reviews
The title explains it all. Part two of 4 parodies for the Twilight Saga! Please review! Written by a friend
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 507 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Edward, Bella
My Best Friend's Baby by Alyssa4Music4Life reviews
Bella married Edward. Now, she waits for him to get back from hunting so he'll change her. But one night when she and Jacob do something naughty, Bella realizes she'll have to wait for about nine more months before fullfilling her wish...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 17,788 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 7/11/2008 - Bella
Locked in! by Mega-Twilight-fan1991 reviews
Edward and Bella get locked in a mall together. What will happen? My first fan fiction, is better than summary! All Human! Normal Pairings! Rated T just in case.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 32,389 - Reviews: 372 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 6/24/2009 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Sex Talk! by Thunder's Blade reviews
Post BD. Nessie is a teenager, and Edward and Bella decide to give her the sex talk. However, as usual, Jake had done something to make Edward furious at him. Emmett also interferes. Very short, but slightly funny toward the end. No LEMONS!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Bella, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Helpless by ShesInLoveWithTheBoy reviews
Bella’s screams ripped through me like a thousand fright trains running a million miles per hour. For such a tiny human girl, she was hurting me pretty bad. EMMETT P.O.V. What would happen if Edward had gotten the chance to abort Nessie. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,400 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 16 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Renesmee's First Lie by Gleena reviews
Renesmee Cullen believes that broccoli is a four-letter word. Edward is shocked by how far his little girl will go to avoid the excruciating cruciferous torture and finds that he has to step up to the plate of parenthood. Collaboration by Gleena and ebhg.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,700 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/21/2009 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
The Nudist Colony by FuzzyWuzzyWithBadHaircut reviews
A pranking war with a difference, Emmett in a g-string, Jasper's blue balls and the great volleyball incident? What else can you expect when the Cullen’s and Denali’s go to a nudist colony for one VERY interesting 1960’s summer vacation!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,546 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 6/19/2009 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Complete
Notes and Conversation with the Cullens by OhThoseGoldenEyes reviews
Another notes fic. This is just very silly and OOC! *removed*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 172 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 6/18/2009 - Published: 10/12/2008
Renesmee's 1st Period by Mrs.Edward.Asakura reviews
what happens when darling Renesmee Cullen starts her period in the Cullen household? Rated M for rape and language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,427 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 6/18/2009 - Published: 4/13/2009
You are my Sunshine by Nickynoo reviews
AU. While visiting her mother in Florida, Bella is kidnapped. His name is Michel and there is no way that Bella can escape. Alice can't 'see' her and Edward is a little more than worried considering that kidnapper is a vampire. In the process of re-publishing and editing current chapters, soon to be posting new chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,943 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 1/2/2009
In The Land Of WTF by FashionPixie89 reviews
Hilarious Story: Edward begins to wonder about the mental state of everyone in his family except for himself: Gangsters, alcoholics, drug addictions and prostitution. We call Shenanigans.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,948 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/13/2009 - Edward
Only Hurts When I Breathe by Whisper Sweet Nothings reviews
Bella wakes up alone and panics, thinking Edward may have left her again. Edward will finally get to see with his own eyes how his leaving affected her. How will he react? What will they say to one another, and will he be able to comfort her? ExB Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,074 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 22 - Published: 6/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Meadow Scene from Twilight IM version by Eliza-Hale reviews
I know this isn't how it happened, but I thought it would be funny. This is my first story so I'm sorry if it's horrible. Please let me know what you think so i can decide whether or not to write more IM scenes. I hope you enjoy.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 401 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Grave by anythingzombie reviews
-"It had such a haunting, mysterious ending. The whole one-shot was completely captivating." - Immortal Cookie Awards; Runner Up. Bella died giving birth, now all Renesmee wants is forgiveness. Will she get it or be forced to live with the guilt & demons?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,138 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Top 15 Things To Remember While Dating a Human by nomorever reviews
This Emmet's list of things Edward should remember while he is dating Bella. One shot. Re-edited to fix the cut-out words.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 317 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/29/2009 - Published: 6/18/2008 - Complete
Not All Bats Have Fangs by Kuroko Meme reviews
What if Bella hadn't been so sweet and normal when she'd moved to Forks? What if she'd been a darker, more lugubrious Bella? A tale of two dark souls that find love in one another. AU. Emo/Gothy ExB. R&R. VampireKissesxTwilight crossover.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 56,970 - Reviews: 254 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 5/24/2009 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The talk by serioustwilightfan reviews
talk about bella's period, between bella and Edward.Technically, this should go in twilight book. Reviews appriciated; tell me what u think, pleasee..
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 625 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Raspberries by sketchinglife reviews
Alice persuades Bella to wear a bikini to the beach. After a little clothing malfunction and a lot of embarrassment, how does Edward cheer Bella up? One-shot, ExB. All cannon. Please review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,894 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 11 - Published: 5/16/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
New Moon in a nutshell parody by SquishyBobb reviews
Parody of New Moon me and my friends are/were going to act out for school work. Thanks to everyone who's left a good comment I really appreciate it! (TW/rape)
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,008 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 10 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Wonderful Tonight by Justine Lark reviews
“And the wonder of it all is you just don’t realize how much I love you…” Edward’s POV of a party with Bella and their Forks High classmates, set during Eclipse. Includes drinking, dancing and Alice! A fluffy, in-canon entry to the Epic T-Rated contest.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,996 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 20 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Twist the knife by NicoleTwilight reviews
From the beginning of Eclipse. This is a quick one shot, in the school yard, when Jacob shows Edward his memories of Bella from when Edward was gone. What did Jacob really show Edward? How did it make Edward feel? Edward's POV.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,027 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 24 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
Our New Moon Parody by Cold War Takeover reviews
Our New Moon parody, which we will soon post to youtube! :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,124 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/13/2009
Welcome To Mythological Studies by Nitlon reviews
The Cullens take an elective course...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 79,358 - Reviews: 448 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 5/11/2009 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Complete
Reckoning at Dawn by NicoleTwilight reviews
The first night on Isle Esme. While Bella sleeps, Edward slowly realizes he has hurt her.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,635 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 22 - Published: 5/8/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
How Could You? by ShesInLoveWithTheBoy reviews
How could you?" I screamed, the anger taking over so much that I was no longer tired. "I loved you." And dispite it all, I stil did. Bella POV. What I think should have happened in New Moon BxE
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,053 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 15 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show! by The Dawn Is Breaking reviews
Sick and tired of Bella tripping over empty air, and Alice doing nothing but shop? Wouldn't you rather see Jacob dance on the coffee table half-naked, and Mike being pelted with tomatoes? The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show is for you! NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 44 - Words: 54,457 - Reviews: 707 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 4/28/2009 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Renegade Characters by browniechadowes reviews
Stephenie gets a little annoyed when her characters try to alter/comment on her novel, Twilight. Rated M for language mainly due in part to Jessica's inner dialogue
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 23,901 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Glitter of Doom by browniechadowes reviews
Take 2. The characters of the Twilight series are back, and they are kicking butt and taking names commenting/altering New Moon. Rated M for general lack of a language sensor.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 28 - Words: 32,347 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Triangle of Shippiness by browniechadowes reviews
Take 3. Oh, you bet they're back again, the characters of Twilight, going big or going home, altering/commenting Eclipse. Rated M for serious lack of dirty mouth filter.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 31,937 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Uterus of Steel by browniechadowes reviews
Hey all, I'm back, dragging the Twilight characters kicking and screaming into the final installment of the Twilight parodies. Rated M for... well, have you read Breaking Dawn? *shudders*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 41 - Words: 41,745 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hell Hath No Fury by Rebecca a.k.a Mrs. Jasper Hale reviews
A one-shot of how Rosalie killed Royce, in Royce's point of view. Fairly detailed. M for violence. Please R&R.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,185 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Rosalie
Table Manners by Justine Lark reviews
Bella is determined to hunt as neatly as Edward, but how to stay tidy when they keep getting overcome with passion? A one-shot full of post-BD Cullen family fun!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,242 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 30 - Published: 4/16/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
PsychIpath by Kari Twilight Mist reviews
After watching an entertainment news show Alice talks to Edward about couple names in the family and decides they need to have one for their close sibling bond. CANON PAIRINGS! One-Shot!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 748 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Edward, Alice - Complete
In Renesemee's Room by serioustwilightfan reviews
Jacob comes at night to Nessies room, to see her. What will happen next? Will her parents do anything? reviews appriciated thanks
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 692 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
Shower, Esme Island by serioustwilightfan reviews
Bella and Edward take a shower befor sleeping together, the day Edward recognises it can be safe reviews appriciated
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 401 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Talk by giselle-lx reviews
I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me." -Edward, Breaking Dawn. What really happened when Edward talked to Carlisle about his deal with Bella? A sweet canon take on their conversation. One-shot, EPOV.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,044 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 390 - Follows: 63 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
Showing Off by Jlbrew85 reviews
Edward's showing off for Bella lands him in trouble with Carlisle.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,356 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Carlisle, Edward, Esme - Complete
I'm not okay by Muffin Top 245 reviews
Is a song parody to MCR's I'm not okay. It takes place on the end of Eclipse when Jacob is leaving.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Complete
Temptation by Emiliana Keladry reviews
Beaten and enslaved in a brothel house... what would draw him to such a broken spirit? Bella/Edward
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 42,148 - Reviews: 655 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 3/18/2009 - Published: 9/26/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Starting From Scratch by RUTryingToIrritateMeToDeath reviews
Sequel to Unwelcome Guest. You don't have to read that to understand this story. Bella rewinds time back to her first days in Forks. Will anyone remember her? Will things turn out the same? BxE AxJ EmxR CxEs Bella has already been changed. Rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 38,165 - Reviews: 665 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 10/26/2008 - Bella, Edward
Blondes and Bowties by Whisper Sweet Nothings reviews
What happens when one of their games goes a little too far, and Blair's out for revenge against Chuck? C/B Oneshot with some humor, some bickering, and some fluff.
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,884 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/14/2009 - Complete
Twilight: The Parody Musical by pocketfullofsunshinexoxo reviews
I decided it would be interesting to write Twilight as a parody musical! Read and see what you think!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,079 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/13/2009 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Silent One by alicecullen22 reviews
Bella is in a hospital what happened to her? who is the new phychologist? Bella Cuts herself. same parings BxE my first fanfic please read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,810 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 3/11/2009 - Published: 1/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Cullens Over The Years by ShesInLoveWithTheBoy reviews
Esme, what was everybody like back in the day?" Esme pulls out pictures of past decades, but will Bella understand that back then shoulder pads and mullets were cool? One Shot. Funny.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,073 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Complete
My Dream Is You by Savannahbobanna reviews
Bella is about to jump off the cliff, but someone stops her. Someone she thought had forgotten her a long time ago. Takes place in New Moon... right before she jumps off the cliff.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,507 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 3/9/2009 - Published: 2/4/2008 - Bella, Edward
Hand Hugs and Eskimo Kisses by sketchinglife reviews
Angela teaches Bella some new cute ways to show affection and Bella can't wait to try them on Edward. BxE, one-shot and pure fluff!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,152 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/8/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
THE CULLENIZER SONG and MORE TWILIGHT PARODY SONGS by decemberdancer reviews
READ THIS! SOOO FUNNY ABOUT TWILIGHT!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,395 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/8/2009 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Edward, Jacob
Twilight is Published! by Murmmer reviews
What would happen if Twilight was published in the Twilight world? What happens when half of Forks reads Stephanie Meyer's new Best Seller, Twilight? What will Bella and the Cullens do? After all, Bella just had her personal thoughts PUBLISHED!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 21,712 - Reviews: 1288 - Favs: 535 - Follows: 571 - Updated: 3/8/2009 - Published: 6/25/2007
It's a boy! by xAtropos reviews
Edward has a fetish? Bella has an even stranger baby name than Renesmee? Read to find out. No longer a one-shot. Parodies of favorite and least favorite moments in Breaking Dawn, or just random scenes.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,113 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 3/7/2009 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
La Lune by Modate reviews
This story begins after the conclusion of Eclipse. Newly engaged, Bella and Edward explore the physical and romantic boundaries of their relationship. Rating for future chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 35,016 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 314 - Updated: 3/6/2009 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Birds And The Bees by SUPER AMAZING reviews
Edward decides it's time to give Nessie "The Talk". Hilarity ensues. Now extended to other characters!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,547 - Reviews: 563 - Favs: 373 - Follows: 355 - Updated: 2/25/2009 - Published: 10/30/2008 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie
Watching Wild n Out by Ms.Naruto-Fan reviews
Just like the title: the gang is home with nothing to do when Wild n Out comes on
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 542 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Bella - Complete
His Eye is On the Sparrow by Kari Twilight Mist reviews
While hunting, Emmett finds a baby bird and rescues it by putting it back in its nest. What does Carlisle think when he sees him do it? Emmett's POV Chapter 1 Carlisle's POV Chapter 2
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,026 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Emmett, Carlisle - Complete
Leprechaun by Kari Twilight Mist reviews
When Rosalie finds a picture of a leprechaun in a book of folklore that looks like Edward a tradition of teasing begins.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 779 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Edward - Complete
Understand This by Runaway Moon reviews
Bella, Jasper, and Emmett are home while the other Cullens are hunting. Bella gets a cut. Will Jasper be able to resist her blood? BellaxJasperBonding
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Hello Old Friend by Sparkling Dragon Tears reviews
Chuck's old habits come back to haunt him after Bart dies. Cutting, self-harm, light slash/friendship.
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 942 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Complete
Inventions, Provoked by dreaminspired reviews
Emmett's teasing results in a quandary. How can Edward get closer to Bella without overstepping the barrier? One shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 915 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/4/2009 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Edward, Bella
If only they could dream by DobbyWobby reviews
Edward would dream about Bella. We know what Bella dreams about. But what would the rest of the Cullen's dream of? Jasper, Rosalie, Esme, Alice, Emmett and Carlisle's dreams and nightmares. One-shot
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,212 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Complete
Hiccups by sketchinglife reviews
Bella gets the hiccups. How does Edward react? And why is Emmett growling? One-shot. Review please!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,087 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Our Little Secret by Justine Lark reviews
Bella has an idea for something special she can do for Edward now that they're engaged. It will be their little secret. If only she can persuade him that it's safe! Complete in 2 chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,483 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 14 - Published: 1/30/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Mike gets BURNED by edwardenthusiest reviews
In this story Mike works at McDonalds and Renesmee goes to get a sundae there. All resulting in Jessica beating the crap out of him. Short funny read. Finally Mike gets what's coming to him.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,417 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/20/2009 - Bella, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Jasper's song for Victoria by HPgeek1 reviews
SONGFIC! Parody of Akon's Dangerous....lolll Don't ask how I came up with this..... rated T for safety
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Jasper, Victoria - Complete
Resolution by BlueSea14 reviews
My entry for The Challenge Forum's New Year's Challenge. A trio of drabbles from Edward's mind, spanning three different New Year's Eves.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Talk by Suburban Sun reviews
Carlisle, I'm 103 years old. Do you really think I need to be getting the sex talk from you?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,710 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 13 - Published: 1/6/2009 - Edward, Carlisle - Complete
Merry Christmas, Chuck Bass by Jesse Cullen
The holidays have never been a time of joy for Chuck, but this year that's all about to change. My first Gossip Girl fic! Rated just to be safe.
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,143 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Complete
What I Am by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
That girl, so much like the deer before me that knows not that death watches it, is to blame. I dare not think her name now. Lest I turn around. - Edward loses control. Just once. One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,480 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 16 - Published: 12/27/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Birds and The Bees by nighttime writer reviews
When Nessie and Jacob are found in a less than ideal situation Bella realizes that it's time for Bella, Edward, and Ness to have "the talk"
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,657 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/27/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Parodies, Parodies, Parodies by Duck Life reviews
The title is sort of self-explanatory. This is a collaboration of Twilight parodies. The time frame will change, for instance, one parody might be in New Moon while another is post-Breaking Dawn. It depends. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 733 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/26/2008 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Bella, Edward
Lip Balm by AllIHaveIsYou reviews
Alice gives Bella a pot of lip balm..Edward likes....Hehe...a little Fluff... cute and sweet...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,133 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/24/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The New Addition by dreaminspired reviews
Edward gives Bella a present the whole vampire family falls in love with. One shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,227 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/21/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I Kissed a Vampire Twilight I Kissed a Girl remix by Rebecca a.k.a Mrs. Jasper Hale reviews
A little song thing I wrote; I Kissed a Vampire. Obviously it's from Bella's perspective :p
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 322 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Is it too much? by gothfreaksrokk reviews
Bella starts cutting herself when Edward leaves, but when he comes back, will she be able to tell him the truth?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,901 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12/19/2008 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Talk by oOStarving ArtisOo reviews
Carlisle PoV - Edward comes to talk to his father about the birds and the bees
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 707 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
Mistletoe Kisses by CrystalBrooke reviews
1Shot, AH, Funny. Charlie throws a 'hip' Christmas party, to Bella's mortification. Beatboxing and 2Pac...enough said. But who's the sexy guy, and why is he wearing such an atrocious snowman shirt? And who knew mistletoe could cause such a drama? B&E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,047 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 346 - Follows: 50 - Published: 12/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Talk by Kaity Hazel-Lutz reviews
Bella and Edward decide to have a talk with Renesmee...the kind that only a parent can give.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,008 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Top Ten Ways To Annoy GG Characters by ronXbouillabase reviews
Annoy! Annoy! Chuck, Blair, and now, Nate. : D
Gossip Girl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 986 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/14/2008 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Chuck, Blair
Jess gets it good by OHsoCONFUSED reviews
We all know how Jessica Stanley is like head over heels for Edward Cullen just like every one else. Edward is getting sick of reading nasty perverted thoughts, and decides its time for payback. He asks Jasper and Emmett for help and OFCOURSE they do! how
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,987 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 12/13/2008 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Edward
The Meadow by ocicat reviews
A parody of when Bella and Edward went to the meadow in Twilight. Please read. Three SHOT?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,885 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/11/2008 - Published: 10/6/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Studio Retold! by ocicat reviews
A fabulous retelling of the Ballet Studio chapter in Twilight... Funny. please R&R second chap: The Cinema retold!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,694 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/11/2008 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Edward, Bella
Runaway by krazykid421 reviews
Charlie remaries. His new wife is abusive toward Bella, but when she speaks up to Charlie about it, he doesn't believe her. One night, Bella tells Edward what's going on. Edward takes her away from the house, and they run away together.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 866 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 25 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Bella, Edward
Random act of Supidity by NaughtypastryChef reviews
Five vampires and one human play a movie quote game, first one to laugh loses. M for language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,394 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 12/10/2008 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
Meeting the Cullens by ocicat reviews
A parody of when Bella meets the Cullen family. One Shot. Ocicat. Oh, and, please do read and review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 724 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Let The Games Begin by luvemmett reviews
Bella joins the Cullens for Truth and Dare, except it's not your ordinary Truth and Dare - this is Cullen Style. How does Edward get stuck in Bella's truck with Mike and Jake? And what's with Alice in Wal-mart clothes? Who will win? Who will chcken out?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 37,071 - Reviews: 1079 - Favs: 523 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 12/3/2008 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Complete
Provocative by Ein Kampf kann eine Lebenszeit reviews
Edward talks to Renesmee about some of her attire one day after school. Please read and review. Bella's POV, rated T to be safe.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,228 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Heaven Help Me by Alexander-In-Autumn reviews
Bella needed a friend. What she got was a hot gaurdian angel named Edward, who's determined to make her happy. How long will he stay on Earth to complete his job? Evil Mike, sweet Edward, shy Gothic Bella.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 102,019 - Reviews: 1652 - Favs: 915 - Follows: 906 - Updated: 11/26/2008 - Published: 8/11/2007 - Edward, Bella
Twilight the concise version by ocicat reviews
The title pretty much says it all. Bella's first day, basically. please R & R.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,003 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Revealing the Truth by slytherin lil reviews
DMHG Hermione is being abused. Who will notice and come save her? Warning: Abuse, Cutting
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,148 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 11/19/2008 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Meet the Cullens by VanillaFieldsOfGold reviews
Our favorite Waldorf has been invited along with most of the GossipGirl gang to Forks, Washington for the summer. How will they be received? GossipGirl/Twilight EdOC EdB JOC JA
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,117 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/18/2008 - Published: 5/20/2008
Somewhere Only We Know by Nikkilee123 reviews
“I didn’t come here to drag you home...I came here to tell you that I love you, Jacob Black.” And before I could reply with something sarcastic, she kissed me. J/B, J/E. Sexuality and smoking, angst, UST, takes place early BD. COMPLETE Oneshot
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,388 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/13/2008 - Bella, Jacob
News by DelilahTCullen reviews
Bella has important news to tell Edward, but she thinks he won't want it. Everyone knows but him and he's getting frustrated. Why is Emmett doing the happy dance? ONE-SHOT
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,375 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/13/2008 - Complete
Potter, Evans, and Sexual Education by GryffindorGals reviews
Lily and James teach Sex Ed. to third years and Lily is PMSing...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 495 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 18 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Once Bitten by NoMoreThanUsual reviews
Bella and Edward imagine how things would have been different on their first day in Biology if Bella were the vampire and Edward the human. BxE fluff. And Emmett humour. – I mean, really, what’s a story without Emmett! LOL
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,343 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 504 - Follows: 87 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The RPattz Rap, Sir Mixalot Style by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Oh, my, God, Rhianne, look who they cast. He’s just so crap. He looks like he’s got caterpillar eyebrows. But ya know, caterpillars are just so last year..."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 657 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/24/2008 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Journey to Recovery by Lady InuIzayoi reviews
This is a story where harry are abused in bad ways. Please read and review Rating due to child abuse,rape and maybe some lemon.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,500 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 10/17/2008 - Published: 10/12/2007 - [Harry P., Ginny W.] [Ron W., Hermione G.]
Ten Reasons Why I Hate Jacob Black by sugarhigh123 reviews
These are 10 reasons why I hate Jacob. Probably not for Jacob lovers, unless you want your flames to be used to help burn Jacob in hell. Definitely for Edward lovers, though. Funny and creative, I hope. Die Jacob, die!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 310 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/12/2008 - Complete
Reverse Psychology by di14 reviews
One Shot.During New Moon.Edward tells Bella he and his family are going to leave,Bella doesn't react as expected...Rated M for language...and such...Very very short!No flaming!Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 500 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/29/2008 - Complete
The Day The World Went Cockamamie by Cat In My Fridge reviews
Chuck x Nate. "Wanna make out?"
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,899 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/22/2008 - Complete
Let's Talk About Sex by Dreamstallion33 reviews
Takes place during Edward's bachelor party. Fluff and mild-sexual references. Edward's PoV. ONESHOT! R&R “Really Edward, some people think eternal damnation and marriage are synonymous.”
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,612 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 25 - Published: 9/7/2008 - Edward - Complete
Somebody help me please by musicaddiction3 reviews
ALL HUMAN!Bella is being abused by her current boyfriend Jacob Black. She is positive that no one on earth can save her from her own personal hell. But what happens when The Cullen family move in and become curious?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 677 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 10 - Published: 9/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Story of Carlisle by Laceyyyyy reviews
This is our parody of Carlisle Cullen's life.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 655 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Carlisle - Complete
Truth or Dare by Jamillia reviews
Renesmee and Jacob go inside when the rain starts, but she is bored. How about a game of Truth or Dare? Warning: Obviously, Breaking Dawn spoiler
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,726 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 9/1/2008 - Published: 8/28/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Edward - Complete
The Kitchen by Jamillia reviews
Edward gets a bit carried away while Bella is busy cooking spaghetti. FIRE! Suggestive themes, slightly OOC, but REALLY GOOD! especially for any one who loves Bella and Edward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 673 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 16 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Moving on by mimzie reviews
When Mark's wife leaves him Charlie volunteers Bella to help him around the house. Bella quickly becomes his punching bag. Does she tell Edward and risk getting Mark hurt? Or does she keep it a secret for as long as she can?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,610 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 8/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Self Tanner by Insanity's Partner reviews
I pivoted in the mirror, staring at my naked, orange body. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea, after all. [Edward ponders the effects of Self Tanner on a vampire.] [Oneshot]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,458 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 4/22/2007 - Complete
Kiss Me by Insanity's Partner reviews
Edward, in an attempt to impress Bella, takes up the guitar. Oh my....is that the sound of a guitar being thrown through a window, I hear? OOC PreNewMoon OneShot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,577 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Complete
The Canceled Fishing Trip by Jamillia reviews
Charlie's trip got canceled and Bella is going to need a cold shower because of it. Suggestive themes, slightly OOC, but REALLY GOOD! especially for any one who loves Bella and Edward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 896 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/25/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Number by Rissohma reviews
Edward remembers how each of the Cullens responded to his ability to read minds when Bella questions why he thinks her reaction would be predictable. One Shot. Humor.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,246 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 16 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Complete
Note Passing: The sequel! by sugarhigh123 reviews
The sequel to Note Passing. Will Tyler "come out of the closet?" What's Bella's epiphany about Mike? Is Emmett bipolar? Why hasn't Mr. Banner made his move on Bella yet? Funnier than the 1st one. Flames used to burn jacob in hell... you know the rest.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,064 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 8/14/2008 - Published: 7/13/2008
Hurricane Season by I'mwiththevampires08 reviews
What happens when the Cullen family decides to go visit Texas and end up stuck in a hotel room for hours because of a hurricane? Drama and comedy ensues. Authored with Whynotjasper. Rated M for a reason folks!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,468 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 8/13/2008 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Complete
Shower Stories by Waffle of Doom reviews
Jasper walks in on Bella while she's taking a shower. What will happen when Edward finds out? How does Bella react to this? RATED T BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT JASPER HAS A POTTYMOUTH!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 11,827 - Reviews: 762 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 8/12/2008 - Published: 6/26/2008 - Jasper - Complete
Riddles by runaway xo reviews
Riddles are always fun, but what happens when the jokes relate to vampires? Fluff of course! Pre-Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,507 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 36 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Complete
Smack that, Cullen Style by laalaa1123 reviews
The Cullens remake the song, "Smack that" by Akon. Then, Bella gets mad at Edward. Hm... Read! Really funny! ONE SHOT
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,047 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Complete
The Talk by Ellenedwardforever reviews
In Eclipse when Charlie has the sex talk with Bella. Edward eavesdrops. Read and review! Edward's POV. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 752 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 23 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Emmett, Edward - Complete
Song Parodies: Twilight Special by Falling.Twilight reviews
Assured to make you AT LEAST smile! R&R. All lyrics came from my imagination or from the books. Last Updated: Mamma Mia!, by ABBA : Mamma Mia! It's All The Cullen's Fault, by Jacob Black!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,526 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/6/2008 - Published: 10/15/2007
Twilight the Parody by sugarhigh123 reviews
Here is a parody of Twilight. I think it's pretty funny, but thats just my opinion... By the way, I LOVE twilight, so this wasn't meant to offend anyone. Both sequels now up!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,174 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 7/20/2008 - Complete
Sex Talks With Edward by vampiregrrrl110 reviews
Edward is getting married, and as a doctor and father, I have a responsibility towards him. My 103 year old virgin son. This was going to be awkward.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,731 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 10/26/2007
Just Dreaming by Halfelven hero reviews
Edward has a fun little dream. If only it were real. --WARNING: EXTREME JACOB BASHING-- literally
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 865 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 7/24/2008 - Jacob, Edward - Complete
Magazines by Anna Doyle reviews
One Shot: Bella finds something naughty in Edward's closet. How does she handle it? Disclaimer: All things bright and beautiful belong to HER.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 711 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 7/6/2007 - Complete
Jacob's gone too far by I'vE-gOtTa-CaTcH-mY-bReAtH reviews
When Bella is unwillingly kissed by Jacob for the fourth time, Edward takes matters into his own hands, but with Bella's permission...and help of course.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 489 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Bella, Edward
My Unhappy Ending by MalesForTwilight reviews
short oneshot about rosalie's death and her change. RPOV. M for rape.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,207 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Rosalie, Carlisle - Complete
The Epic Adventures of Virtue Boy by The Maiden Amorisa reviews
Edward has a secret. He is a super hero.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 924 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Edward, Bella
The Truth About Heaven by Mezzanottex3 reviews
I came down here to tell you... it rains in Heaven all day long. I want to find you so bad... and let you know I'm miserable up here without you. ::Edward/Bella:: ::oneshot::
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,792 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 435 - Follows: 100 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Time to Wake Up! by Waffle of Doom reviews
Emmett helps wake Bella up with a not so pleasant surprise. RATED K FOR STUPID HUMOR. Oneshot for now
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 759 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 15 - Published: 7/25/2008 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
Speechless by dead pleasure reviews
Mike rapes Bella and he pours something down her throat and now she cant talk. how will she tell Edward what Mike did? will she ever be able to talk again? read and find out, review and tell me if its good or if it sucks i want to know the truth.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,750 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 7/22/2008 - Published: 11/4/2007
Note Passing by sugarhigh123 reviews
What happens when people pass notes and get caught? Sort of funny I think, if you have my sense of humor. Mike, Mrs. Goff, Mr. Banner's fan club, it's all there. Flames will be used to help me burn jacob in hell. Sequel is much better, so read it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,001 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/13/2008 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Complete
Numbness by Firecracker-SJ reviews
What happened in the ballet studio between Bella and James? Violence and rape.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 853 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 50 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Bella, James - Complete
The Luckiest Survivors In History by Mezzanottex3 reviews
..."So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were you going to do about it?"... Bella and Edward find themselves in a rather ironic situation. ::edward x bella oneshot::
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,321 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 622 - Follows: 78 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Raspberries by Isabel0329 reviews
Edward has a fantasy about Bella that he’s been desperate to see come to life. One that involves fruit. And he’s determined to make it happen. Safely rated M for innuendo.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,530 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 379 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 7/8/2008 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Where Do Babies Come From by TalesFromAnother reviews
Marti has a question, everyone seems to be finding a reason not to answer it. Will Smerek give Marti an answer? And why does it upset Casey so much? -ONESHOT- intended to be cute,funny, and kind of random/weird.
Life With Derek - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,320 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/2/2008 - Complete
Sat what? by DelilahTCullen reviews
Edward and Bella talk about something they've never really talked about. ONE-SHOT
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 562 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/28/2008 - Complete
The Physical Fitness Test by Rissohma reviews
Forks has it's first Physical Fitness Test with Bella and all of the Cullens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,941 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 6/24/2008 - Published: 6/15/2008
Sight of Sacrifice by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
Bella's newest worst nightmare. Disturbing. Twisted. Insane. Not for the weak of mind or stomach. M for explicit gore and horror. Drabble, almost.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 864 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Bella - Complete
Twister by Angel Ren reviews
Summary: Post James attack, Bella is chilling at Edward's with a bum leg. What does Alice decide to do? Play Twister! Cullen-style! BxE pure fluff! One-shot
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,044 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 46 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hopeless Case by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
Charlie's POV in a moment of Bella's zombie-like months. No one ever thinks about the things Charlie saw, the things he dealt with...so let's get to know the man of little words that still cares so much about Bella. Review please! One-shot. REVISED.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,904 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 22 - Published: 6/19/2008 - Charlie S., Bella - Complete
Playing Footsie by Scarlett71177 reviews
Bella wonders why Edward never removes his shoes at night with her. Set during 'the happiest summer' after Twilight. E/B, one shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,751 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 57 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Stand still, look pretty by fallowfadesaway reviews
A Jenny/Nate story, that'll keep you guessing. Sorry if the summary sucks, but the story is definitely worth reading.
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,185 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/13/2008 - Published: 6/11/2008
The Family Talk by NeverForgetThisPen reviews
Imagine Carlisle and Esme Cullen attempting to give their "children" a sex ed. lesson.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,626 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 469 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 6/10/2008 - Published: 2/27/2008 - Complete
Purr by vampirechick123 reviews
so the big question...can Edward purr. not lemony! One shot! Fluffy Fluff
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 564 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 15 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Complete
Thirteen Reasons Why by runaway xo reviews
Edward proves his love to Bella by showing her thirteen reasons why he loves her. Takes place after Eclipse. Major Fluff. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 43,971 - Reviews: 1461 - Favs: 1,391 - Follows: 429 - Updated: 5/31/2008 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Complete
Reflection by Scarlett71177 reviews
E/B, Post-Eclipse. Bella wants to know what Edward would have done if she hadn't asked him to stop in the meadow.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,311 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 32 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Complete
So Cold by Mrs Ronald Weasley reviews
While the Cullen’s are away Bella takes a trip down to Port Angeles and runs into someone she never wanted to see again. Edward/Bella. WARNING: This story contains strong depictions of rape/non-con! Please note: Edward does NOT do the raping! Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,797 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 361 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 5/26/2008 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Complete
Notes by musical-gerbil reviews
What do our favourite Twilight characters do when they're bored during class? Why, pass notes of course!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,145 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 5/19/2008 - Published: 11/9/2006
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8476 - Favs: 7,706 - Follows: 1,830 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Names by KlutzLike Bella reviews
Bella and Edward have a conversation that leaves Edward speechless....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,138 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 337 - Follows: 51 - Published: 5/11/2008 - Complete
Oops? by l'heure bleue reviews
—3: Rock Hard— "Rock HARD ON... get it?" It was on a normal day that I almost died for the second time. Or ... as normal a day as humanly – haha! Humanly ... – possible at the Cullen house.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,430 - Reviews: 443 - Favs: 360 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 5/6/2008 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Birds and the Bella by Waffle of Doom reviews
Emmett's left alone to watch Bella and decides to attempt to tell her about 'The Birds and The Bees', emphasis on the word attempt.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 546 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/4/2008 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Ron's Savior by SevSnape123 reviews
Used to be under the tiles Untitled. Ron is abused by Harry and he gets in a relationship with Draco. Rated for severe abuse, language then punishment spanking later on. Abuse in early chapters then discussion at times later on.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,795 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/18/2008 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Ron W., Draco M. - Complete
Pictures Frozen In Time by Just A Little Bit Dramatic reviews
“Rest assured that when you are watching this, witnessing her pain, her last minutes to live were of agony she never has known before. You failed, Cullen. I won.” Bella, Alice, and Edward all watch James' tape. Three-shot. T to be safe...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,065 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 4/12/2008 - Published: 3/30/2008
Self Imposed Purgatory by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
This is my version of Bella's "tantrum" after Renee came to take her down to Florida that first week when Edward left. Review please! One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,824 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 12 - Published: 4/11/2008 - Bella
I Just Wanted to Say by amberdowny reviews
Drake backed away from his stepbrother. "You’re what?" he asked in disbelief. Rated for a sex-ed type of conversation.
Drake & Josh - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,245 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Complete
Tradition by Amelia Bedelia reviews
Alice suggests that Bella and Edward follow a typical wedding tradition - they aren’t allowed to see each other the night before their wedding. Bella, however, is sick of Alice's traditions; this is what happens when she breaks them. Edward/Bella One-Shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,354 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/31/2008
Juno by chicken in the dark reviews
juno finds out that her baby is being abused by Vanessa and then she has to call the police, but before that she had to get some evidense to back her story up so she called her ex-husband and asked about her.
Juno - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/27/2008
The Desire To Feel by Just A Little Bit Dramatic reviews
AU New Moon fic...Bella's desire to feel emotion pain turns to the need to feel physical pain...rated M for mature themes, and self harm...Edward's POV now added!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,651 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/26/2008 - Published: 10/29/2007 - Complete
Persephone's Fury by Angel Ren reviews
Rosalie didn't take the news that Bella knows about the vampires very well. How did she take the post-Port-Angeles lunchtime table conversation between Edward and Bella about vampire hunting? Language warning, One Shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,618 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 30 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Rosalie - Complete
The Lion, The Bear, and Some Crazy Closets by MyBella reviews
Rated "M" for suggestive & naughty language. Ever wonder what your closet thinks about your clothing? We find out what the Cullen closets have to say! This is a Cookie League production. If you enjoy, please check out our other stories.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,741 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 24 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Complete
The Talk by Heartbroken1 reviews
Jacob has concerns about Bella’s innocence. He takes it upon himself to have a ‘talk’ with her before she gets in over her head with her boyfriend. ExB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,054 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 270 - Updated: 3/21/2008 - Published: 1/24/2008
Victory Celebration by Wind of the North reviews
In which Jacob goes too far. Many people have termed Jacob's aggressive kiss "rape". What if it actually was? The aftermath is held within. :VERY STRONG M: :Complete:
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,131 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 3/17/2008 - Published: 3/16/2008 - Complete
Tenterhooks by NightsofTamara reviews
Charlie's waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,642 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/9/2008 - Charlie S. - Complete
Help by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
During New Moon, Bella had found another outlet for her pain. Now Edward's back, and he sees firsthand what that was. It's OC for Bella to do, but it's fan fiction. Cutting warning. Content may be disturbing to some viewers. Review please! One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,297 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 62 - Published: 3/9/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stupid, Shiny Cullen Cars by MyBella reviews
Rated "M" for suggestive & naughty language. 'Sexy Cars' takes on a whole new meaning in this one shot about the Cullen family autos. This is a Cookie League production. If you enjoy, please check out our other stories.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,329 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 27 - Published: 3/8/2008 - Complete
What a Way, Says the Dying Man by Sophisticated.Simplicity reviews
Bella takes a shower. Edward sits in the next room thinking about...stuff. Charlie makes sure his gun is handy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 695 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 15 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Complete
Ruminations by thesunshinekid reviews
Angela has always been very observant.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 944 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/5/2008 - Complete
Neverland isn't forever by fanged.vampire.genius reviews
Just my one-shot to Enovie's Twilight Challenge! Wow, this is my first one-shot! Bella saw Edward reading Peter Pan, and this is how it goes. I think it's cute. Read and Review!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Complete
Jazz and Emmet's SexEd by DebussyToThis reviews
An outtake from my version of 'Breaking Dawn'. Emmett and Jasper attempt to give some helpful man to man advice regarding Bella and Edward's sexual relationship. Hilarity ensues, naturally. Emmett is on top form...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,203 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 17 - Published: 2/26/2008 - Complete
The Sims Obsession by ForEverTopaz1901 reviews
Bella gets hooked on the Sims. Pretty self explanatory. All in Bella's POV. R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,232 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 2/19/2008 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Complete
Werewolf Anthem by Planxty Lewis reviews
Song parody of Good Charlotte's 'Dance Floor Anthem'. It's another Jacob POV, takes place during New Moon. Check it out! Read, review and enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 788 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/12/2008 - Complete
My Dumbo by Says The Schizophrenic reviews
One-Shot. Everyone thinks that Edward looked perfect when he was human. I don't think he did. Edward And Bella go visit his house in Chicago. They're married and Vampires. Fluffy story I guess you could call it : EXB All the way!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,461 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/10/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Irony by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
Poem about the first week or so after Edward left in New Moon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 404 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/8/2008 - Bella - Complete
That Was My Siblings by ronOReds reviews
Edward's family decides he needs a push in the right direction when it comes to getting physical with Bella. What methods do they resort to in order to get their message across!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,373 - Reviews: 379 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 103 - Published: 2/5/2008 - Complete
The Dedication by A Single Drop of Blood reviews
Edward never came back. A year later, Bella is the singer in the band Werewolf. Every song has the same dedication. “To the vampire who broke my heart and left me for dead.” What happens when Edward comes across a CD?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,314 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 236 - Updated: 1/31/2008 - Published: 11/17/2007
Practicing by nothingleft reviews
Bella convinces Edward they should 'practice' their self control before they get married. What effect will this have on them and the other members of their family? Funny, Fluffy, and, eventually, a little lemony. Sequel to The Talk, but stands alone.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 50,382 - Reviews: 1361 - Favs: 1,084 - Follows: 448 - Updated: 1/24/2008 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Complete
Trippy Bella by EdwardIsMyLover reviews
Mike drugs Bella at a party, but the Cullens rescue her. This is a night at the Cullens with an undertheinfluence Bella as they try to keep her out of anything lifethreatening. How will they fare?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,660 - Reviews: 628 - Favs: 547 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 1/14/2008 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Complete
Overnighter by Eowyn77 reviews
Sequel to Fair Game. Bella confronts a secret from Edward's past when he goes on an overnight hunting trip with his family. Slightly AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 17,771 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 12/31/2007 - Published: 7/10/2007
The Talk by nothingleft reviews
Edward's continuing worry about being with Bella before she's changed leaves him no choice but to have The Talk with Carlisle. Some things are too important to leave to chance.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,550 - Reviews: 212 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 12/31/2007 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Complete
There's A Sanity In Repetitiveness by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
I couldn't even cry, as much as I wanted to. There wasn't that much in me. There was nothing in me. Nothing, nothing, nothing...Not even sickness. Not anymore. A day in Bella's zombie-like months. Review please! One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,258 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/27/2007 - Bella - Complete
I Saw Casey Kissing Santa by TalesFromAnother reviews
Marti catches santa spreading a little more then the usual holiday cheer. ONESHOT
Life With Derek - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,193 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Complete
The Tree by Rissohma reviews
Edward does the unthinkable and runs into a tree! Humor OneShot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 996 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Complete
The Experiment by nothingleft reviews
This one shot takes place at the end of Eclipse, after the meadow, before the wedding. Edward gets creative while trying to solve one of the complications of his being with Bella while she's human. In this case, his cold body temp. Hint Warm and Bubbly
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,966 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 48 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Complete
The Riddle by Rissohma reviews
Will Edward finally be beaten by Bella when he can't solve a riddle? Humor one shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,284 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 38 - Published: 12/14/2007 - Complete
Let's Talk about Periods by watchingtheworld reviews
It's another period day, and the Cullen women decide to talk about it in front of Bella, and in front of the guys. Poor Bella! Rated T for content.UPDATE! for those who are waiting for the masturbation story, just wait another week plz :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,006 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 12/5/2007 - Published: 12/4/2007 - Complete
Secret Santa by Rissohma reviews
Edward is given a 30 dollar spending limit for Bella's Christmas present... but will he abide by the rules or find a loophole? FLUFF! One Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,032 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 22 - Published: 12/5/2007 - Complete
The Name Generator by Rissohma reviews
Bella finds a name generator online and find's different hilarious versions of Edward's name. Jedi, Pokemon, etc. Humor One Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 751 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 26 - Published: 11/25/2007 - Complete
The Lie Detector Test by Rissohma reviews
Emmett brings home a lie detector test and the Cullen family is appalled at the answers that Edward gives. A OneShot Humor.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,336 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 480 - Follows: 76 - Published: 11/24/2007 - Complete
Just a Crush by Kate the Kannibal reviews
AU of Twilight. Bella is a little closer to her mother. In the hospital scene at the end of Twilight, what if Bella told a little more of the truth? When Renee asks Bella why she wants to stay, what does she say?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,554 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/6/2007 - Published: 8/19/2007 - Complete
News Cast by EdwardIsMyLover reviews
Edward sees something disturbing on the news. He must rush back to Forks in order to save Bella. Edward never came back in New Moon & Bella never jumped. Not sure of where i'm going with this
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,141 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 71 - Published: 10/21/2007 - Complete
Platonic by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
Just a short drabble on Bella's frustrations in hers and Edward's relationship.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 331 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/17/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stealing Has Its Exceptions by LovelyPriestess reviews
[Short Oneshot] Bella wants Edward to steal something VERY important... Something we all would have had Edward stolen if we knew him.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 352 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/16/2007 - Complete
Manly Bonding with the Cullens by leiahlaloa reviews
Spend a Sunday afternoon with the Cullen boys. What kind of trouble can they get themselves into?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,373 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 12 - Published: 9/30/2007 - Complete
Self Sacrifice by DivineRosey reviews
Sequel to Everything Changed. It's twenty years later and Bella gets a phone call that brings her back to Washington. Once there Bella's life is changed yet again. And the biggest shocker, Edward is back and so is the LaPush gang.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 21,444 - Reviews: 475 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 9/27/2007 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Complete
Remote Control by thesunshinekid reviews
Dr. Cullen comes home to an interesting debate.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,022 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 17 - Published: 9/25/2007 - Complete
The Unfortunate Event by leiahlaloa reviews
Edward stumbles upon Bella in a delicate state. Can he handle it?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,069 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/22/2007 - Complete
Things You Should Never Do by Sadness-is-Beautiful reviews
50 things you should never, ever, ever do, as demonstrated by the good people...and vampires...and werewolves...of Forks.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 8,852 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 9/10/2007 - Published: 3/1/2007
Of Vice and Virtue by Saiyachick reviews
Pride. Greed. Envy. Wrath. Lust. Gluttony. Sloth. Explore the Seven Deadly Sins through the eyes of the Cullens, Bella, and Jacob. [Complete]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,828 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 8/27/2007 - Published: 8/2/2007 - Complete
Avenging Angel by sillybella reviews
Edward's rebellious years. 19271931 A collection of oneshots.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,834 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 8/24/2007 - Published: 11/29/2006
Never Goodbye by Saiyachick reviews
How Bella and Edward broke the news to Charlie about the two of them getting married. Eclipse Spoilers Oneshot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,725 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 16 - Published: 8/18/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Size Matters by Drunken Boxer reviews
AU, OOC, no spoilers, but hopefully hilarious. Join Harry, Ron, Malfoy and Snape on an...interesting journey of enlightenment as they discuss the all important question: does size matter?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/9/2007 - Ron W., Severus S. - Complete
The Naked WolfBoys of La Push by sillybella reviews
I couldn’t help wondering about the werewolves’ clothes – or lack of them since they are always bursting out of them. I’ve been promised that the answer will be in Eclipse, so I figured I better hurry and write this before my hopes for naked wolfboys are
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,864 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 8/6/2007 - Published: 8/5/2007 - Complete
Popsicle by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward is watching bella sleep, so when she starts talking, it's nothing unusuall, but when she LICKS him, he is slightly uncomfortable. EVEN BETTER!She wakes up and finds her tongue stuck to his arm, what will they do? How will Edward's family react?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,545 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 70 - Published: 8/1/2007 - Complete
The Birds and the Bees by Tee2007 reviews
Carlisle has The Talk with Edward so things are sure to go awry! The new chapter is finally here, thank you for waiting so patiently. Coming up next is Alice and Rosalie having The Talk with Bella, so stay tuned! Rated T for suggestive situations!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,989 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 427 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 7/27/2007 - Published: 4/2/2007
Torn by sillybella reviews
Twilight Challenge Forum June Challenge: Challenge: Write a oneshottwoshot of any length describing the interaction between Sam and Emily when Sam mauled her. Post date: July10, 2007.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,287 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/10/2007 - Complete
Overworked Soles by leiahlaloa reviews
Bella's silly thoughts... poor Edward.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,932 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/21/2007 - Complete
Ice cream! by Says The Schizophrenic reviews
Bella is at the Cullen's house. She want's some Ice cream...But it dousen't end up in the bowl...Sucky summary, can't find a way to make it look good. just reaad it. it will only take a sec!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 24 - Published: 6/17/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I dare you to by Says The Schizophrenic reviews
ONESHOT:Bella dares Emmett to do somethig.Will he do it? If i have a lot of spelling mistakes it is because i did not send it to my Beta. I do not own Twilight!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 915 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 16 - Published: 6/16/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
sometime later by walkingthroughwalls reviews
edward rapes bella,while he's dealing with his concious she makes sure no one can ever hurt her again...Ch.3 is revised!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 913 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/5/2007 - Published: 3/1/2007 - Complete
In The Middle of Nowhere by thesunshinekid reviews
Even as a vampire, Edward is not infallible. What is it with men and asking for directions?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,162 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Complete
Sneaky Money by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward 'accidentally' puts one million dollars in Bella's bank account. She is NOT happy. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,682 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 41 - Published: 5/18/2007 - Complete
The Birds & The Bees Emmett Style! by UnicornGoddess95 reviews
How does Bella get unglued from Edward? Find out and prepare to laugh! Complete for now...maybe I'll come up with more hilarity.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,515 - Reviews: 723 - Favs: 950 - Follows: 577 - Updated: 5/10/2007 - Published: 3/19/2007 - Complete
Odd by Skittle.Kitty reviews
Bella stared at the stately white envelope that was addressed specifically to her. Who would be writing to her? And with such fancy stationary...[Oneshot.BellaxEdward.Fluff]
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,646 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/28/2007 - Complete
Which one? by Llama Mama23 reviews
Bella makes a very important shopping choice. Pointless.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 16 - Published: 4/8/2007 - Complete
random question by DerringerMeryl87 reviews
just a oneshot inspired by a few of my friends. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 582 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/2/2007 - Complete
New Moon Karaoke by LindaRoo reviews
The plot of New Moon set to the tune of Bye Bye Miss American Pie by Don McLean.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 995 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/20/2007 - Complete
THE WORST NIGHT by Twilightmormon reviews
Bella goes to party and breaks a big party rule. NEVER drink the punch Soon she is intoxicated and is saved by Alice and Emmett. Bella begs the Cullen siblings to help her and not tell Edward. This will be a very long night of trying to cure a HANGOVER!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,736 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 2/19/2007 - Published: 2/13/2007 - Complete
The Talk by Twilightmormon reviews
Reene is in town and wants to have a talk with Bella about her relationship with a certain boy. What happens when Edward finds out how Bella feels on the topic. ONE SHOT
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/12/2007 - Complete
Why I Love My Truck by sillybella reviews
Bella is always reluctant when Edward wants to buy her a new car. Is there a secret reason she likes her truck so much? And don't worry where they are driving. It doesn't matter.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 597 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 80 - Published: 2/1/2007 - Complete
Summer Heat by Maiden of the Moon reviews
Reaching out, I snagged a fistful of his shirt and yanked it. Hard. As I did so, I gave him my demand: “Take off your clothes.” [BellaxEdward. NOT what you're probably thinking!]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,496 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 694 - Follows: 110 - Published: 1/31/2007 - Complete
Jacob becomes Alpha by Llama Mama23 reviews
Jacob becomes Alpha of the LaPush pack. Bella drops by for a chat. What will happen when he finds out that she really does want to be a vampire? Slightly OCC, written before Eclipse came out.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,135 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Complete
The Locket by Llama Mama23 reviews
Bella gets a locket with Edwards picture inside...What will he do when he finds out? One shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,799 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 37 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Complete
Warm by sillybella reviews
Something besides Bella is making Edward warm...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 569 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 525 - Follows: 81 - Published: 11/14/2006 - Complete
Sleeping Beauty by sillybella reviews
Post New Moon Edward angst. Charlie arrives while Edward and Bella are watching a movie. Bella has fallen asleep in Edward's lap.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,709 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 940 - Follows: 166 - Published: 11/14/2006 - Complete
Hot Stuff by sillybella reviews
Emmett and Jasper are worried about Edward and Bella's relationship.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,742 - Reviews: 440 - Favs: 920 - Follows: 154 - Published: 10/18/2006 - Complete
Latin for Sex Ed by jade reviews
Enraged by the last horrible sex ed at Hogwarts fanfic you read? Want to read something completely different? Or pretty much exactly the same but with a sense of humor? This may be the story for you.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,672 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/14/2006 - Complete
Inappropriate Attire by Ylfcwen reviews
Oneshot. Bella has an unusual gift. How will Edward use it to his own advantage?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,937 - Reviews: 765 - Favs: 622 - Follows: 145 - Published: 8/25/2006
Quality Time A Continuation by MoonShineMystery reviews
This is a continuation to my oneshot, Quality Time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,663 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/10/2006 - Published: 5/27/2006
Third Tuesday by Likeasunburn reviews
And you think you're uncomfortable around that time of the month? Try being Bella. Oneshot, written for a laugh
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,621 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 361 - Follows: 67 - Published: 5/3/2006 - Complete
The Chasm Between by Alphie reviews
Edward watches Bella as she sleeps
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 895 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 63 - Published: 2/6/2006 - Complete
Mr Lancer's essay by Different Realities reviews
reposted: Chicken nuggets, messed up sex ed, Sam's cleverness, what more could you ask for? oneshot.
Danny Phantom - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,937 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/20/2005 - Complete
Sex Ed by fuZzyfish reviews
Ron gives Harry the sex talk. Secrets are revieled about Seamus. Jell-O is bought. Rated pg13 for sexuall content and some language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 845 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2004 - Harry P., Ron W.
Puberty is coming, for one and for all! by Ribanusa reviews
A poem about gasp puberty at hogwarts!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/1/2004
RePrOdUcTiOn by Kaccee reviews
It's a songfic from a song from grease 2! and it's a hogwarts sex ed class. I think it's funny...maybe it's just me...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 929 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 12 - Published: 6/6/2001 - Complete