It’s dark and it’s raining

But I’m stuck here

Lurking in the depths of my own fears.

You may call me Victoria

Now I am also putting here my standard Warning and Disclaimer so that in case anyone tries to claim I didn’t warn them… its right here.

Disclaimer- Hello again, Victoria Here. Here to bring you new and used (and personally overstated) statements of non-ownership. That I, Victoria Barello, do not own anything from any original Verse as constructed by their Creators or producers; including but not limited to: original characters, plots, places, and ideas. However anything not of the original universe is a product of a twisted, over-caffeinated, broken mind. Of the onetime offer to state (again) that it is free. No down payment for the rest of life! Thank you for listening to this FanFiction mandatory broadcast. Enjoy your reading and have a wonderful day, morning, afternoon, evening, night…. Bloody hell! Whatever time it is you decide to interpret fics of the fan variety….

Warning- Danger! Danger! Passing this point means that you have read the above, below, and in-between statements written for your convenience and have consented that- yes, you do know that this fic, and all fics written by the above mad person, may indeed be of the slash variety and will contain segments not meant for those under the age of consent. By passing this point you state that the material below will in no way give offense and that you are fully aware that the material will contain very controversial material and you will not hinder the writer by posting any comments or opinions of the flame variety. By passing this point if you, the reader, by chance decide to ignore said warning statements are liable, by fault of your own, to a verbal lashing by said mad author. Because by passing this point you are agreeing that you are taking full responsibility for something YOU the reader decided to do, and are in no way shape or form being made to read this fic or any other fics by the aforementioned author. (This authors ESP doesn’t quite work that way) Thank you and have a wonderful… well you should have gotten the point by now?

So some points about me that will clear the air and make some things more understandable-

1-I can barely tolerate idiocy, bigotry, self-righteous behavior, wish-washy beliefs, nose picking, prudes, holier-than-thou attitudes, flaming on others, trolls…really if you’re an asshole I will try (and fail) to tolerate you.

What I mean by wish-washy… if you have a family member that fell deeply and madly in love with their partner (male or female don’t care) who is either very much younger than them or much older than them and you don’t act on it. Don’t say a word. Don’t complain. Tell them you’re happy that they are cute; that as they are happy that nothing else matters. You read a book with a pair of characters who have a similar predicament… and you love them! Do not suddenly decide it becomes an issue here or anywhere else.

2-I really don’t care how you choose to live or what you believe…. Wait for it…. here’s the catch: UNLESS you impose your lifestyle and beliefs on others. Just because you think something is disgusting or sweet does not mean the person you are verbally attacking will as well. Here is the rule of thumb for that- you do you I do me. I will not judge you, but leave me alone. What I do does not matter, not even a lick, to you; doesn’t hurt you and therefore means that you have no choice what so ever what I do. Period.

3- Everyone is equal. No I’m not being political. I literally believe WE ARE ALL HUMAN… I know shocking right? And therefor it doesn’t matter if you were born in a mansion and them a hut, or if I live in a country that doesn’t have large amounts of radiation form the sun and have beautifully pale skin rather than my neighbors who have beautifully darker skin (seriously it won’t matter at all because when we are all on an autopsy table the crap they gut from our bodies all looks the same…. Except for Steve…. He’s an alien…). It doesn’t matter that I have blue eyes and Andrea has brown. It doesn’t matter that my best friend loves her husband or that he’s 2 years younger than her. (Spoiler alert! We live to be an average of 100…. Unless the person is literally 50 years older than you who really gives a feck… and still some people like that….) it doesn’t matter that a woman can love a woman or men can become a woman to love a woman… and vice versa! (Oh My! what a shocker!) and last but not least…. IF IT HAPPENED IN THE PAST (LIKE YOU WERE NOT EVEN ALIVE TO KNOW ABOUT IT) LET IT THE FECK GO!

No seriously none of that matters as long as you are NOT an asshole.

3-I do not care what your religious beliefs are. You can believe in the flying spaghetti monster that gifts meatballs to the world; the only thing that matters is what you believe and that it stays between you and the spaghetti monster. Leave everyone else out of it. Period. Your beliefs don’t automatically make you entitled to spread your ‘truth’ to anyone with an ear.

4-So really this one is huge…. Just because it offends you… Just because you were taught that each tiny and little thing you did not agree with should be changed to your liking…. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A PUSSY!-Does NOT give you the right to impose your stupidity on someone else.

5-If you decide to do something….OWN IT! if you buy a book without even reading the summary because the name sounded cool and the picture was of a car flying the a flaming ring and then you start to read it and find out that the story is about these two idiots- one with a Turrets problem that makes them swear almost constantly and touch his junk whenever he feels scared and the other who has a drinking and drug problem, and they’re both driving cross country and it’s all about how they have weird relationship issues, running form the law and their psychotic issues outside of their clinically diagnosed ones and in the end up caught passed out in a hotel room. Seriously stupid right? Not the writer fault you didn’t like it or that you choose to ignore their summary and warning. OWN IT! It was something you decided to do. No one else.

There is something you can do though…. Put the book down and walk away. Simple, easy, and no heartache; it’s the perfect scenario.

6-I swear, loudly and repeatedly, but I am avoiding that here so that when a prude walks by they won’t “offended”… but for shits and giggles…. FUCK, SHIT, BALLS, ASSHOLE, MUGGLE, HELL, BLOODY, KUSO, ZUT, GOTT, ETC! ETC! ETC! ….no I do not feel better….

Before I move one a quote- from Shakespeare

"To bait fish withal: if it will feed nothing else,
it will feed my revenge. He hath disgraced me, and
hindered me half a million; laughed at my losses,
mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my
bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine
enemies; and what's his reason? I am a Jew. Hath
not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs,
dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with
the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject
to the same diseases, healed by the same means,
warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as
a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed?
if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison
us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not
revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will
resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian,
what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian
wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by
Christian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you
teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I
will better the instruction."

So after all that I hope you understand that those parts of me will translate into my fics… that these things will also apply to those who decide to post offensive and rude reviews. I will not tolerate you not liking something you decide to do. You are not a victim, quite trying to act like one.

There are a couple other points I would like to make specifically about my fics-

1} my first point is that I try to make my fics as correct as possible. Meaning all major points, dates, names, family, etc. will come from the horse’s mouth. If that means I will be scouring books for the information, or authentic credited site, so be it.

2} 90% of my fics are AU and barely cannon compliant. This will be states in the fics description as is kind of obvious.

3} (THIS ONE IS MAINLY FOR HARRY POTTER) Wizards live to be 137-200 years old or older, in the case of Flamel who was born in 1327, or hell Bathilda Bagshot; no idea on her birthdate but she was already an adult (having written a book or 10) when the Dumbledore’s moved to Godrics Hollow in 1890 and she still did not die for another 100 years. Tom Riddle Junior? He was born December 31st 1926 making him, by 1997, roughly 71 years old even though he is portrayed and described as being no more than 40-50 years. Albus Percival Wulfric Brain Dumbledore was born in 1881; making him 116 by 1997. But he too is described as looking 60-70-is. The point is that to us muggles (*Le Sigh* for I wish it wasn’t true) a 20 year difference seems like a long time, well to some, but to a witch or wizard 20 years is not that big of a difference- it is merely a small stepping stone in their lives.

4} (ALSO MAINLY HARRY POTTER) Remus Lupin was the first part of the most widely loved couple in the Harry Potter series and was born March 10th 1960 (the same year as Severus Snape). Nymphadora Tonks, or Tonks, went to Hogwarts with Charlie Weasley who was only born a year before her, she was born in 1973 and he 1972, and they both graduated in 1990 and 1991 respectively; The year of and before Harry’s first year at Hogwarts. This means that Tonks was 7 years older than him (Harry being born in 1880). That makes Lupin 13 years older than her. *And yet no one says anything on this and bitches when something like a Snarry Fic pops up… let that sink in*

5} I do not appreciate even the most miniscule, misinformed reviews- especially those ones that describe my own personal choices as ‘disturbing’. Constructive criticism I can handle, feel free to do this. However, when you click on my story there are 3 important things to look at before deciding to read- 1) the description 2) it may clearly say Romance and 3) I do not put specific names there for shits and giggles; if it says Severus Snape and Harry Potter and the fic is labeled romance…. Obviously it means someone is getting buggered and it is not me.

6} Please for the love of any and every Deity, read my bloody disclaimer and warning. You should read these on every fic you choose as these will often tell you things about the fic some people find morally wrong. These statements are for the safety of the reader and the author and are important. I know sometimes these statements get repetitive and boring but seriously if you don’t like Snarry, or even slash, hell M rated in general of any kind; these warning are for you to know what you are getting into and not burden the writer by suddenly deciding AFTER you start reading that it offends your miniscule opinions and sensibilities. Please for the love of heaven, hell and everything in between if you do not like the description, summary, warnings, pairing etc. DO NOT READ MY FICS.

Needless to say I am working on things-they are not dead and I do not plan on letting them die. Until I am finished with Nights Tale all my other fics are now showing HIATUS.

As a last thing I have a Facebook page that i post updates on. Check it out if you want, it is for your convenience.

https://www.facebook.com/Fanfiction-Victoria-Barello-492485394198360/

So that is the end of this rant, if you could consider this that, and I will give you all one more piece of advice-

Be Happy. Enjoy life. Don’t let other people get you down and ignore them when they try…. Because they make such fun faces when you ignore them…

Hope to update soon.

To the next Fic- ALLONS-Y!

And until next time- TTFN!