bananapancakes7hide bio
 Author has written 7 stories for Twilight. My name is Christina. How's that for a creative opener? ;) I'm of legal age, but still get carded, which I guess is a good stroke to my fragile, wrinkle-fearing ego. I'm not in S.W.A.T. training or a secret ninja after dark, or anything cool like that. I just live out a real-life "The Office" job, full of Michael Scotts, but sadly, no Jims. It's trite, but it gets the rent paid and allows me to have On-Demand. The antidotes for my somewhat mundane existence are reading, writing, swimming, traveling when my finances permit, music, and I have to admit that TV tends to rule my Thursday nights. -:- My Stories -:- The Woods Are Lovely, Dark, and Deep Read Story -:- Watch Trailer -:- Read Outtakes -:- Listen to Playlist -:- See Banners -:- Thread on Twilighted The Chronicles of The Twilight Twenty-Five Read Stories -:- See What It's All About Thirty Days Read Story -:- Rec by ninapolitan on The Perv Pack's Smut Shack It Just Happened That Way & Strapped Entries for the AwkWard contest; collab'd with queenofgrey. They're awkward. Be cautious. Read IJHTW -:- Read Strapped -:- Strapped's Judges' Choice Award on TLYDF PLEASE NOTE: I do not want any of my stories translated into another language. I am only fluent in English and would not like any posting of my work in words that I cannot understand. I can't stop you, of course, but I just ask that you wouldn't. However, I appreciate the offers very much. Thank you! Other random information includes: I collect movie ticket stubs. I love barbeque sauce. I like the word fuck and all its fucking cognates. I write poetry. I think roller coasters are a blast. I'd rather see a horror movie than anything else. I'm a fan of the ellipsis and italics. I'll scream if a bee lands on me...or if it's anywhere near me, for that matter. I'm more likely to cry over a book or a piece of music than a sappy movie. I've skinny dipped. I abide by society's laws (nevermind the skinny dipping), though I do fantasize about being on the run from the government in some sort of vigilante covert operation. I have a weakness for guys with brown hair and green eyes who are left-handed and I don't know why. Hawaiian pizza rocks my world. Football is the only sport I'm into. And I enjoy googling things. "All things be ready, if our minds be so." William Shakespeare "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." Cyril Connolly |
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Creature of Habit by EZRocksAngel reviews
Bella begins working for the elusive and distant Edward Cullen who she discovers is hiding behind an elaborate charade to maintain his secret lifestyle. Bella is determined to find out the mysteries of Edward Cullen but with what results? AU, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 189,624 - Reviews: 14868 - Favs: 13,037 - Follows: 5,840 - Updated: 3/23/2016 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Plan - OUTTAKES by QuantumFizzx reviews
REMOVED. Thank you for your readership. Kept a few chapters up to explain why & share outtakes alter. Obsessed but unnoticed for over a year, she puts a plan in motion to catch the eye of the corner-office. That's her plan. Fate has another plan entirely
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,687 - Reviews: 19584 - Favs: 6,437 - Follows: 4,409 - Updated: 3/9/2014 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Expectations and Other Moving Pieces by chrometurtle reviews
Everything I had done in my life seemed to lead up to this moment. The moment when I found myself bound inextricably to a man I didn’t love, trapped in a life I didn’t want. And if I left him, I would be entirely alone.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 227,237 - Reviews: 15189 - Favs: 8,986 - Follows: 9,245 - Updated: 11/11/2013 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Best I Ever Had by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
Sex between friends complicates everything. Bella knows this. But she has no idea how much more Edward is going to complicate things.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 64,919 - Reviews: 7636 - Favs: 11,519 - Follows: 6,102 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
My Lost Youth by Edward A. Masen reviews
The beginning of an unusual family, as told by Edward Masen.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 154,953 - Reviews: 525 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 298 - Updated: 1/17/2012 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Carlisle, Edward
The Vampire in the Basement by michellephants reviews
While hunting one afternoon, the boys stumble upon what appears to be a corpse. When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help. But of course, fate has plans for this man. Canon Couples. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 164,189 - Reviews: 11743 - Favs: 9,974 - Follows: 6,753 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
New Beginning by don'teatmycookie reviews
Bella uses Edward's laptop to start a journal.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 128,459 - Reviews: 1735 - Favs: 941 - Follows: 885 - Updated: 2/12/2011 - Published: 1/31/2008
Favor Fire by stella luna sky reviews
"...As I watch the strong lines of his arms and the way they steadily hold that brush to create beautiful things, my stomach churns with acidic butterflies, and I think, real or not real?" Katniss embraces being the girl on fire at last. Pre-Epi. M.
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,869 - Reviews: 354 - Favs: 1,076 - Follows: 147 - Published: 9/30/2010 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
For the Summer by camoozle reviews
Every year Bella waits for the 'Pay Checks' to roll into her sleepy river town and every year Edward's hers, just for the summer. AH, AU, OOC, B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 176,780 - Reviews: 8976 - Favs: 8,056 - Follows: 4,030 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Goodnight, Noises Everywhere by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
Bella is the only survivor of a virus which has killed off the human race. Is there anyone-anything-still alive on this dying planet? Entry for the Twilight 25 Challenge. Post-apocalyptic good times. Bella/Edward
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 63,043 - Reviews: 3034 - Favs: 2,369 - Follows: 1,255 - Updated: 8/9/2010 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Complete
Company Loves Misery by AngstGoddess003 reviews
AH-Edward, current recovering alcoholic, former bully of Bella Swan, must make amends to the one person who refuses to give them. Written for FGB Auction/WA Rehab. Adult Situations. Updated Wed/Sun.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 76,843 - Reviews: 6243 - Favs: 5,484 - Follows: 5,453 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Edward, Bella
I Wanna Eff You Like a Masochistic Lion by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
I Wanna Eff You Like a Masochistic Lion B/c of Your Pools of Brown Diarrhea Eyes: The Worst Story Ever Told. Collab btwn Philadelphic, Feisty Y. Beden, & NelsonsMandela. M for mmmwrong. Welcome to the Sequel, Chilly's Song.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 24,947 - Reviews: 521 - Favs: 543 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 12/30/2009
So Cruel by Demosthenes91 reviews
Fate up against your will. It’s the late 80s and Bella Swan must learn to live with her undying devotion to the popular Edward Cullen, who will never see her as anything more than a friend. AU/AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 79,122 - Reviews: 1155 - Favs: 1,177 - Follows: 1,563 - Updated: 7/3/2010 - Published: 11/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
Put a Ring On It by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
Edward keeps asking and Bella keeps saying the same thing. But he loves asking and well... she's starting to kind of like it, too. AH, B/E O/s for the Will You Marry Me contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,076 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 1,391 - Follows: 279 - Updated: 4/29/2010 - Published: 2/3/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Drop In The Ocean by stella luna sky reviews
..."I’d have to cast it all away for something I had scoffed at for so long: love." Bella/Edward - at sea! AH. M for the good stuff. One-shot written for snowgood and her awesome contribution to FGB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,687 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 358 - Follows: 86 - Published: 2/8/2010 - Complete
In My Power by Emilie Fauve reviews
Carlisle's chronicle of how each member in his family came to join him in immortality. True to character and canon. Pre-Twilight; rated for medical situations and mature themes. 2009 Eddie Award Nominee!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 129,890 - Reviews: 436 - Favs: 423 - Follows: 171 - Updated: 1/28/2010 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Carlisle - Complete
Type O Negative by quothme reviews
When the Cullens move to Forks, Bella thinks that the creepy new kid, Edward, has freaky yellow eyes. And that he's insufferably rude. Good thing he's in love with someone else. An AU dark comedy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 54,164 - Reviews: 1366 - Favs: 1,938 - Follows: 547 - Updated: 10/11/2009 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fate Worse Than Death by nosleep3 reviews
New Moon AU, E/B. After Edward leaves her, Bella's haze and her danger magnet lead her down a path of abandonment, insanity, and the very edge of death. How do the pieces of her life fit back together again? Full summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 116,935 - Reviews: 961 - Favs: 1,110 - Follows: 439 - Updated: 8/22/2009 - Published: 3/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Nymph and the Waterfall by Pastiche Pen reviews
Someone is spying on Bella at an "inconvenient" time. There's a gnome and a crap ex-best friend. All-human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 83,768 - Reviews: 3141 - Favs: 3,327 - Follows: 1,116 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
The Woods are Lovely, Dark, and Deep reviews
Bella visits a quiet lodge in Forks and she meets the secretive, tormented Edward Masen. Just as their relationship transcends friendship, Edward's past comes back to haunt him in the most brutal way. B&E are human, but oh…there will be vampires. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 283,921 - Reviews: 5420 - Favs: 3,708 - Follows: 3,417 - Updated: 5/21/2012 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Eggnog Effect reviews
Jasper's convinced that he's a little known blip on the object of his affection's radar, but an office Christmas party and a cup of a seasonal horrific favorite might just change everything. Js/E. Slash. Gift fic for ThatPanicGirlE for YuleTwi'd Gay.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,696 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 36 - Published: 1/2/2011 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Thirty Days reviews
After a drunken bet with Emmett, Edward swears to abstain from sexual activity for an entire month. Bella isn't pleased. And temptation is a tricky bastard. AH. Rated M. B-day gift to queenofgrey.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 28,022 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 432 - Follows: 607 - Updated: 7/29/2010 - Published: 1/15/2010 - Edward, Bella
The Woods Outtakes reviews
Random bits of what-if's and never-seen-scenes that didn't make it into The Woods are Lovely, Dark, and Deep. Ratings are subject to change.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,705 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 64 - Published: 4/21/2010
Strapped reviews
FOR THE AWKWARD CONTEST - Collab w/ queenofgrey - Some anniversary memories are meant to be scrapbooked. Some are meant to be scrapped, completely. Rated M for cringe-worthy situations, inappropriate language, & sex that is all kinds of weird.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,369 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 30 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
It Just Happened That Way reviews
FOR THE AWKWARD CONTEST - Collaboration with queenofgrey - Some things take careful planning, some things never go as planned, & some things aren't planned at all. - E/B - Rated M for secondhand embarrassment & horrible sex.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,101 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 15 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Chronicles of The Twilight 25 reviews
A series of twenty-five prompted one-shots/drabbles over the course of three months. Please be sure to check each individual chapter for the prompt, rating, and pairings. Happy reading.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 18,023 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 11/30/2009 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Complete