![]() Author has written 8 stories for Fairly OddParents, Ben 10, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Kim Possible, Kick-Ass, Naruto, Last of Us, and Grand Theft Auto. NOTE: I'm back baby! Yeah! I didn't reup my enlistment with the USAF so I'm a free man! No more working my ass of for incompetent commanding officers or working later hours trying to fix critical systems! I'M FREEEEEEEEE! Mwhahahahaha! On that note, I have no idea what to do with the old stories of mine. I'll figure something out, but for now, I have to focus on finding a job... after I lay around home for a bit and enjoy being able to stay up late and sleep in! - Lord V. P.s. See you around Space Cowboy! Hi! I'm Lord Vulpes. Nice to meet you! I'm just here to write stories and give them to you! INFO: Full Name: [REDACTED] Age: [REDACTED] Country: U.S.A Job/Profession: Ex-US Air Force. Currently job searching. Naruto like description: Yo. The name's Vulpes. I like Naruto, NCIS, Fairly Odd Parents, and a lot of other things. I dislike Flamers and people to dumb to get a job and feed themselves. My dream for the future is to kill 'Justin Beaver-teeth', take over the world, and make all my favorite fan fictions into real shows. Male/Female?: I'm a male. [REDACTED] Current relationship?: [REDACTED] Communities/groups: The League of Fanfic Writers, Amateur Author Guild, Independent (Political Party), (EX) Junior Army ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps), The SOS Brigade (In my dreams), The A.o.I.P.S. (Alliance of Independent Planetary Systems. [Galaxy Empire]), I.S.A.F (Independent Sate Allied Forces[Ace Combat]), H.I.V.E (Heavy Infiltration and Violent Extraction), G.i.B (Ghost's in Black [anti-G.i.W]). Things I CAN NOT stand! (Not in order per-se): 1. Child abuse 2. Drugs of ANY kind (Except things that can help people w/ pain and sickness) 3. Bullies who think they rule the world 4. Overly evil super villains 5. Anything to do with Justin Beaver-Teeth 6. Overly goody-two-shoe Heroes. 7. Feminist (As a quote one of my Italian friends once said "Yes, a man is the head of the house, But the women is the spine." so, while your important, don't abuse your power) 8. Sexist people (so what? their female. that doesn't mean they cant kick your ass.) 9. Stupid Americans, you make us ALL look bad. 10. Bad reviews and FLAMERS! I will not tolerate them. Constructive criticism ONLY! 11. Shopping... I HATE shopping... and yet, my mom makes me go with her EVERY TIME! (Outdated. I've long since moved out). 12. Gnomes... I can't stand Gnomes... 13. Shiny things. They dis... Ohhh, Shinny... 14. Naruto's complete idiot-ness. It distresses me. 15. Gay ass vampires... I hate 'em... THAT MEANS YOU TWILIGHT! GO BURN IN HE- *Gets dragged off by Twilight fans and beaten severely.* 16. Golf. I hate golf. I will never, ever, play it of my own free will. (My former C.O.[Commanding Officer] Made me play with him... Still hate it). 17. Mimes... *Shivers* 18. Low yield explosives... what's the point if it doesn't blow shit sky high? 19. Stink-Bombs... Never again... 20. Hinata (from Naruto) haters... what's your freaking problem? 21. Racism. I want no part of it. 22. [REDACTED] 23. Spaceships and giant mechs... There a disaster waiting to happen! 24. Androids... Yeah. 25. Robots... their evil and are waiting for a chance to take over the world... i.e.: SKYNET (I work in the I.T. department... yeah...) -End Of Profile- New Profile Data Found... Uploading now... 25% complete... 34% complete... 67% complete... 99% complete... 100% complete. Finishing upload now. [REDACTED: [REDACTED] Favorite Music: Mostly old Rock and Alternative music. Current Favorite song (It changes a lot): Dancin' (Krono Remix) Favorite sayings and quotes: "Say what again, mother f*er! I dare you! I double dare you mother f*er! Say what again!" "W-What?" *BANG!* "Building? What building? Over there is just a pile of rubble..." *BOOM!* "...Well, now it is now." "The first click you hear will be me hanging up the phone... the next one you hear will be me pulling the trigger." "The safety is on, dipshit..." "What? Oh shit! It is!" "What could possibly go wrong after this?" "... Did you really just say that? ... Dumbass." "Low yield explosives... Really? They suck ass! Use the good stuff!" "May the force be with you." [REDACTED] "The fuck you just say?" "Now THAT'S an EXPLOSION!" "Eliminate! Eliminate!" "To infinity and-!" *crashes into wall* "You know what I really hate?" "What? That your Boyfriend just melted?" "No... YOU!" "Yeah? So? I just like explosives... Whatcha gonna do 'bout it?" "Show's over, motherfuckers." "We have top men working on it now." "Who?" "Top... Men..." "Uh... Who in the HELL gave HER EXPLOSIVES?" "There is a time to fight and a time to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" [REDACTED] "Rasengan Bitch!" *BOOOOOOOOM!* "What in the world is that? A giant Chicken?" "Apparently so..." "You are Terminated." "BOOOOOOOOOM!" "Hello. My name is Luna Lovegood. Nice to meet you, now would you kindly die?" "Wha-" *Head falls to floor and rolls off set.* "Names not important... Only my bullet going through your brain is!" "So... not even the dog could swim, eh?" "You stay. I go. No following..." "I love you." "Shit... That's going to hurt like a bitch in the morning." "If only, if only, the woodpecker sighed. The bark on the tree as soft as the sky..." "Last name?" "Black." "First name?" "Mister." "I see... go on through..." (This is from a Harry Potter FanFic by Rorschach's Blot. The Fic is called "Make A Wish" I suggest reading it. -_-) "... No comment..." [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] "Please?" "No" "Pretty Please?" "No." "With Sugar and Rainbows?" "... Ok..." "Is that supposed to happen?" "No... Well, I at least hope not... I mean, the thing DID get turned inside out but..." "*sigh* Good help is hard to find these days... *sigh*" "Leave this place! Leave it!" "Let me see... No." "Never retu- What did you say again?" "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..." "No, what you have there are bullets, and the hope that when your guns are empty, I will no longer be standing... Because if I am... You will all be dead before you've reloaded..." "Hey! I'm a mercenary! I do NOT work for FREE! Pay up or my custom M1911 is going to have words with your knee caps!" "Fish are friends, not food." "Screw that! I'm hungry!" "What came first? The Pins or the bowling ball?" "I will kill you Harry Potter, if its the last thing I do!" "Yeah, right. Recducto!" "SHIT! *doge* Reducto! Curo!" "Ha! *puts up a shield* Now THIS is getting interesting!" "Screw you Potter!" "No thanks! Bombardos! Recducto! Expeliamus!" "Crap! *doges first two, gets hurt by the third spell* Oh shit-" "Got you! Avada Kedavra!" *The guy that's not Harry Potter falls dead to the floor.* "You shot him!" "He'll live." "I'll be back." "Come with me if you want to live." "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" No" "No, you're right." "No I'm not. Your right- Wait a second..." "I-it's attacking! See? Look! Its attacking the town!" *The General looks to the small town* "Holy mother of God." "It's still alive!" "S-s-s-shoot at it!" "Drive, damn it! Drive!" "All ships fire on the robot! *Looks at how close the robot is* Now, damn it, now!" "Who are you?" "I'm Kick-Ass!" "Nautilus, come in, Nautilus." "This is the Nautilus, we read you over." "Nautilus, this is general Rogard. Stand do-" *Mansley grabs the radio* "LAUNCH THE MISSILE NOW!" "But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. "Evey Hammond: [reads] Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici. V: [translates] By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe. Evey Hammond: Personal motto? V: From "Faust". Evey Hammond: That's about trying to cheat the devil, isn't it? V: It is." "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. The Borg will assimilate your culture to serve us." "The FUCK you will. Lieutenant, launch EVERYTHING." "Aye aye, sir!" "A dog is a man's best friend until the woman gives it a piece of meat... then the dogs her best friend..." "Fuck your 'overwhelming army of darkness'... I have a goddamn flamethrower. Your argument is invalid." "Um... My partner is being held in an insane asylum for the protection of others... do I still have to do the project?" "You know what? No. Just go play in traffic." "Do I still pass?" "Sure. Why the fuck not?" "YES!" (From an Evangelion fanfic.) "How did you beat the chocolate army from hell?" "They were made of chocolate... we ate them." "Oh... I see." "Didn't *Whack* I *Whack* Tell *Whack* You *Whack* To *Whack* Put *Whack* Cheese *Whack* On My *Whack* Goddamn *Whack* Hamburger Bitch?!" "*Exasperated Sigh* Listen. Your argument remains invalid. I still have the mother-fucking flamethrower." "EVA-01 LAUNCH!" *Seconds tick by* "EVA-01?" "Ma'am... He ran away again." "GOD DAMMIT SHINJI!" (How the conversation with Gendo would have gone if I was Shinji). "Fuck you Gendo. I ain't piloting shit!" "Yes, Shinji, you are. Now get in the fucking robot." "Hell to the no. You get in the fucking robot." "I don't have to... because you will." "Eat shit and die. Why the hell should I get into the robot, huh, dad? Give me a reason." "...How does $100,000 a month sound?" "Nope. Still ain't getting in." "...How does $100,000 a month and a pass to the local strip club for unlimited free lap-dances sound?" "...I'm listening..." "What the fuck are you doing to my Mom!?" "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm giving her a back-rub, dude. Calm down." "EVA Unit 01. The greatest thing since sliced bread... Are you listening, Asuka?" "*Snore*" "Oh hell! Not again!" "Mustn't run away! Mustn't run away! MUSTN'T RUN AWAY! ...Oh hell. Who am I kidding?! I'm going to run the fuck away!" "So tell me Vix... how did you manage to shove the entire tree up Madara's ass?" "Naruto... you REALLY don't want to know..." "Since I have nothing to say about this, literally, I'm not going to say anything at all and just walk away..." *Walks away* "Life is pointless... so why not have a bunch of fucking fun before we die?" "Fun? With what?" "Explosives of course!" "Diamond Head, go!" *Transforms* "Grey Matter! Wait... Not Again!" *Gets stepped on* Asuka sitting in a hospital bed in a full body cast. Shinji is reading children's stories to her* "Once upon a time in a land far, far away-" "Shinji..." "Yes Asuka?" "I hate you so much..." "Yeah, I know. Love you too, honey. So, where was I? Oh right. In a land far, far away..." Spank, spank, spank, spank, spank.* "Rei?" *Stops spanking* "Yes Shinji-kun?" "What are you doing?" "The books on children's psychological development said to discipline a child when they misbehave as to reinforce a resentment for negative behavior." "Is that why you have Asuka across your lap and are spanking the ever-living shit out of her ass?" "Why yes, Shinji-kun. That is exactly what I am doing." "I see... Carry on." *Spank, spank, spank.* "Mobius One! We need you to hold off the Yellow Squadron while we retreat like the pussies we are! Good luck." 'Damn. I wish I wasn't a mute protagonist or else I would tell them to fuck off... oh well. Mama, I'm coming home! Yee-haw!' "AWACKS here! Several bogies closing in at Mach-Three! It's the Yellow Squadron!" "Damn! Bend over boys, here it comes!" "We're all gonna die!" "If anyone survives, tell my wife and kids I love them!" "AWACKS here... you don't have a wife or kids, Red-3!" "... Fuck you, Sky-Eye. I can dream, can't I?" "Hey Viper-2..." "Yeah Blue-7?" "Why doesn't Mobius One ever say anything?" "Well... Some think it's because he's mute. Others, like I, think he's so intently focused on the mission, speaking would break his concentration... Some even say it's because he's a cyborg that R&D never quite finished." "Oh, I see. Thanks Viper." "No problem, Blue." *Meanwhile in Mobius One's cockpit* "I'm a barbie girl living in a barbie world~! *Shoots down a Yellow* Ha! Take that bitch!" "Dogmeat! Stop humping that Raider-Scum and find me something useful!" "Bark, bark bark, growl." "WHAT!? Fuck you too, you stupid waste of space!" "You see that giant thing over there?" "Yeah." "It's called a Deathclaw..." "Yeah?" "...And you're gonna kill it... with that sorry excuse of a pipe-pistol." "Yea- WAIT, WHAT?!" "Dogmeat! There you are! Here, carry all my extra heavy shit!" "Bark, bark growl. Bark. (Go fuck yourself. You carry it!)." "Thanks boy!" "Bark, bark, yawn. (Go fuck a duck you lazy motherfucker)." "Dogmeat! Move outta the way! A Deathclaw is chasing me!" "Yip, yip, bark bark. (Fuck you. This is for making me carry your shit!)." "Boy move plea- YE-AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" *Gets ripped apart by Deathclaw* Hears the Ghoul kid Billy trapped in a fridge* "Hey! Somebody help me! I'm so useless that I got stuck in a fridge after being told that I could be trapped in one and even after seeing there was no handle on the inside!" Shinji listening to music* (Gorillaz 'Clint Eastwood') "*I got sunshine in a bag, I'm useless but not for long, The future is coming on.*" "Maybe it it's true? Maybe I can change things?" "*But not if you're a kid named Shinji...*" "Oh come ON. Now even my music is putting me down!" Sitting on the couch watching TV one night...* "Hey, Shinji?" "Yes Asuka." "I love you." *Shinji turns to Asuka with a 'WTF' look on his face* "What? Is there something on my face?" "Asuka..." "Yes?" "Go home... you're drunk." "Tell me again, Sergeant... How did you manage to break the drive shaft in half, remove the BOLTED on steering wheel, AND run the HUMVEE off the side of a cliff?" "Uh... luck, sir?" "Always be polite, be courteous, show professionalism, and have a plan to kill everyone in the room." "Uh... ok? What's the plan here?" "... You don't want to know, but it involves that fishtank, that barstool, and the pool cue." "I chose the language of gratitude instead, and go back to silence. I am Quiet... I am... the absence of words." "The world calls for wetwork, and we answered. No greater good. No just cause." "I won't scatter your sorrow to the heartless sea. I will always be with you. Plant your roots in me. I won't see you end as ashes. You're all diamonds." Favorite Fandoms (off the top of my head): (These are in no certain order of importance.) Naruto Pulp Fiction Ben 10 (The original) Danny Phantom The Fallout Series Ed, Edd, n' Eddy Kick-Ass True Grit Star Trek: The Next Generation, Enterprise, and Voyager... in that order. 2009 and Into-Darkness are alright. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Neon Genesis: Evangelion (I think that's how it's spelled?) Fairly odd parents NCIS Castle Let the right one in (Not the rip off. That's "Let me in" btw.) The Matrix (Do I need to explain? -_-) Star wars (Darth Vader is a bad-ass ) Black Rock Shooter Rosario Vampire Teen Titans GTA Series Law and Order Dance in the Vampire Bund Call of Duty (The multiplayer sucks. I play it for the story, which got really stupid after Modern Warfare II) Mirai Nikki (Yuno's a freaking insane badass killer! I love her wacky antics!) Caddyshack (Yep. That's right... Even though I HATE golf.) Harry Potter Another (Anime) Oda Nobuna No Yabou (A Historical, Military, Love story. What else do you need?) Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (It gets REALLY bloody, but its a good thriller later on in the series.) V is for Vendetta (V kicks ass... what else can I say?) Love Hina (Don't say a word... Not one...) Original Characters: Yin: A calm collected and educated man who happens to be one-half of a two sided coin that when using the powers from the other half has insane power levels. Mostly used in my Naruto universe. Yang: Yin's brother that is insane and has some problems with basic human emotions and mannerisms... He also likes to blow shit up. Other half of the coin. Dominus Vulpiric Black: A sophisticated man with a hidden, but not evil, agenda. He has no problems putting down his foes for good the first time. Likes the idea of world wide utopia where all are equal and free. Has a dark past and an even darker set of secret powers. Will be featured in most story-verses. Abbi Halisic Black: (Related to Dominus) A deadly assassin with a "Ice-Queen" personality. Trained by masters in the art of silent killing and espionage techniques. Is NOT to be taken lightly. Lew Erikson: A mercenary and the best friend of Vulpes. Works for Vulpes as a Bodyguard. Nikolai Strokonov: A former SPETSNAZ operative turned gun for hire after the fall of the U.S.S.R. Works as a assassin and spy for Corporations but also works as a Mercenary from time to time. Is a friend to Abbi and Connor. Connor Hammond Jr: A Young man lost in the world without anyone to care for him. On the outside he is Ironclad in his convictions and motivations, but on the inside, he is unsure of himself and is seeking for someone to love and care for. (Last of Us Universe only) Current Fandom Interest: Neon Genesis: Evangelion. Don't ask why... it just is. Things I found on other profiles I liked and re-posted: Tomy and Ami were on a motorcycle, speeding down a road. Ami: Slow down, I'm scared! Tomy: No, this is fun! Ami: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Tomy: Then tell me you love me. Ami: I love you, now slow down! Tomy: Now give me a big hug. Ami gave him a hug and a squeeze from behind. Tomy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, there was a story about a motor cycle that had crashed into a building due to a brake failure. There had been two people on it; there was one survivor. The truth was halfway down the road, Tomy realized his brake wasn't working but he didn't want to scare Ami. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him that she loved him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy and paste this into your profile page if you would do the same for someone that you love. (L.D.V.B) I'd be this boyfriend: When she walks away from you mad, follow her When she stares at your mouth, kiss her When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don't let go When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet, ask her whats wrong When she ignores you, give her your attention When she pulls away, pull her back When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying, just hold her and don't say a word When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared, protect her When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does When she misses you, she's hurting inside When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers When she reposts this bulletin, she wants you to read it When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go When she says she's ok, don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 years later she'll remember you When she's bored and sad, hang out with her. Let her know she's important. Kiss her in the pouring rain. When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking, babe?" Repost if you like it. (L.D.V.B) I'm Sorry I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy" I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy. I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along. I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care But most of all I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world. I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for... I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it. I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family. I'm Sorry That I cared I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different. Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' (L.D.V.B) Remember how you used to say, "I'll always be there for you" But now I need you, where are you? Your far, far away. I am falling apart, piece by piece. And your 'on vacation' with no destination. I'm here, fighting your battles with no rest in between, And your away, kicking back and drinking a 'cold one'. Far. far away from here. I am tired. I am weary. I cannot hold out much longer. I need you here, but I don't want you here. It's all because your far, far away. Re-post if you have ever felt this way. (L.D.V.B) Story progress and news: On hiatus for now. I'm free from the grip of the USAF now, so I'll take a look at my work and see what I can do to modernize it and improve it. Last of us: snippets, short stories, and ideas: meh :/ Idk. Idc. Moral Choices: Rewrite/rework inprogress. Standby. Time for Masters, Change, and The locus Blade: Rewrite/rework inprogress. Standby. Till I collapse: Rewrite/rework inprogress. Standby. (I might just delete this steaming pile of [REDACTED]. The Mind Games: Rewrite/rework inprogress. Standby. Soul Company: Rewrite/rework inprogress. Standby. GTA V: Stories from Los Santos: Rewrite/rework inprogress. Standby. |
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