Hi! Please note most if not all of my stories will be Crossovers. I love crossovers. Updates may be sporadic but they will be often for the most part and I won't give up on my stories. I am currently planning on writing a Percy Jackson crossover when I am done my story Mockingbot. ;-) I am now also a beta, so check out my beta profile! I WILL respond. Thank you for reading!

Fandoms include: ROTG, KC, PJO/HoO, BH6, Spirit Animals, The Unwanteds, Artemis Fowl, Mortal Instruments, and more.

Warrior Cats fan Oath

I'll remember Brightheart,

When I see a scar one someones face
I will think of WindClan,
Every time I win a race.

I'll remember Silverstream,
When I see a young mother.
I'll remember Violet,
When I worry about my brother.

I will remember Goosefeather,
When nobody believes me.
I will think of Scourge,
When someone's teased for being tiny.

I'll remember Mothwing,
When I find it hard to believe.
I'll be reminded of Princess,
When I see someone, who seems naïve.

I'll always think of Heathertail,
When someone wants to be 'just friends'.
I will think of StarClan,
When I am near the end.

FaI will think of Tawnypelt,
Whenever I feel judged.
I will think of Darkstripe,
When somebody holds a grudge.

I promise to remember Cinderheart,
When I climb a tree.
I'll remember Midnight,
Whenever I'm at sea.

I'll remember Leafpool,
When I must follow my heart.
I will think of Hollyleaf,
If I ever fall apart.

I'll remember Brambleclaw,
When I must prove myself.
I'll remember Spottedleaf,
When I'm suffering from bad health.

I'll remember Lionblaze,
When I am feeling strong.
I'll remember Tigerstar,
If I choose the path thats wrong.

I'll remember Dovewing,
When I hear of something far away.
I'll remember Cloudtail,
When a kitten catches their first prey.

I'll remember Bluestar,
Whenever I must choose.
I'll remember Crowfeather,
When the one I love, I loose.

Feathertail will be in my mind,
Whenever I must be brave.
And I'll remember The Tribe,
When I'm in a cave.

I'll remember Ashfur,
When somebody breaks my heart.
I'll remember Barley,
When me and my siblings are far apart.

I'll remember Ivypool,
When I try to be the best.
I'll remember Firestar,
When my loyalty's put to the test.

I'll remember Crookedstar,
If someone abandons me.
I'll remember Ravenpaw,
If I ever have to flee.

I'll remember Jayfeather,
When I have a strange dream.
I'll think of Cherrytail and Sparrowpelt,
Whenever I eat cream.

I'll always think of Cinderpelt,
When my leg is sore.
I'll remember Longtail,
When I can see no more.

I'll remember the many battles,
When I see conflict or strife.
I promise to remember all these cats,
For the rest of my life.

--/\_/\ If you love Warriors,
--)--W--( copy and paste this
--\--A--/= to your profile.
--)--R--(
--/--R--\
--/--I--
--/--O--\
--\--R--/ /
--\_S_/ /

IF YOU WANT A WARRIORS MOVIE, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD YOUR NAME TO THE LIST: Squirrelflightlover, Dreamnorn.uplate, Nianque, AuthorAnomalous, Mosstail21, Brightsun, Avatar-state craziness, Fluttersong, Kawakage, Echosky Of ForestClan, Rory's Greatest Fan, Redwolfvirus, Otterhope, Petalstar, PhoenixWillowsRox88, Rosycat

10-year-old Warriors fan, Emmy Grace Cherry was a warrior fan and had warrior spirit. Emmy and her parents, Dana and Jimmy Cherry, were killed in a tornado in February 2007. On Wands and Worlds, a fantasy fiction forum, several fans agreed that she deserved a warrior name. One fan performed the ceremony and named her Brightspirit. Other fans agreed this was the perfect name. The Erins placed her along with her parents in the book Long Shadows as Brightspirit, Braveheart, and Shiningheart. Please pass this message along by copy and pasting it into your profile and adding your name to the list of people who will always remember a true warrior: Wolfgrowl, Rainshimmer, Hawksky, Leopardheart, Winterthaw,Newlife, Rory's Greatest Fan, Redwolfvirus, Otterhope, Petalstar, PhoenixWillowsRox88, Rosycat

If you want the Warrior series to go on forever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''

I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car.

yes I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go

Heroes of Olympus Pledge

I promise to remember Jason

whenever someone forgets something...

I promise to remember Piper

whenever I see someone feel unwanted by their parents...

I promise to remember Leo

when I see someone run away...

I promise to remember Annabeth

when someone misses someone...

I promise to remember Percy

when I see someone refuse to give up...

I promise to remember Hazel

when I see someone who has made a hard decision...

I promise to remember Frank

when someone is different then expected to be...

I promise to remember Reyna

when I see a leader...

I promise to remember Octavian

when I see a ripped toy...

I promise to remember Don the Faun

when someone asks me for money...

I promise to remember HoO

wherever I may go...

The Kane Chronicle Pledge:
I promise to remember Carter
When I travel far away
I promise to remember Sadie When I have something sarcastic to say
I promise to remember Desjardins
When someone doesn't fight fair
I promise to remember Amos
When someone has beads in their hair
I promise to remember Iskandar
When I see someone very old
I promise to remember Bast
When I see cat's eyes that are gold
I promise to remember Horus
When I see a beautiful bird
I promise to remember Isis
Whenever strange voices are heard
I promise to remember Set
When someone is clever and sly
I promise to remember Anubis
When a cute boy catches my eye
I promise to remember Zia
When I see someone working magic
I promise to remember Julius Kane
When someone's life is tragic
I promise to remember Ruby Kane
When someone I love is gone
And whenever I read The Red Pyramid
I'll always remember this song

Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan

Even cat goddesses like growling at birds.

Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones.

The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese.

Children of rival gods can fall in love.

No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels.

Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream.

Eating fruit bats is bad for your health.

Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated.

The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy.

Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess.

Jackal headed gods can be very attractive. (VERY, VERY Attractive!)

Math teachers really are evil.

Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...)

It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena.

Elvis was a magician. No, really.

Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed.

Hieroglyphics are fun to read.

A god of toilet paper can actualy be really cool.

Nerdy brothers can get a hot date.

Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.

If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an uber-powerful god living inside you.

PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

NORMAL PEOPLE: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

PJO FANS: Will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: Say OMG!

PJO FANS: Say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: Go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

PJO FANS: Won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or i'll tell on you!

PJO FANS: Say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that PJO fans are stupid

PJO FANS: Know that normal people are stupid

NORMÀ PEOPLE: When being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

PJO FANS: When being chased use their demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: Get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

PJO FANS: Yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

PJO FANS: Would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile

PJO FANS: Would have this on their profile already

Wise Words From Percy Jackson and the Olympians

1. When in doubt, find the dam snack bar - The Titan's Curse

2. With great power comes a great need to take a nap-The Last Olympian

3. Paradises are places that can get you killed- The Battle of the Labyrinth

4. Gods get offended easily. Then they blow stuff up.- The Titans Curse

5. As a demigod, you are twice as vulnerable - The Lightning Thief

6. You can't fix a person like a machine.-The Battle of the Labyrinth

7. Monsters will vaporize when sliced by a celestial bronze sword.-The Battle of the Labyrinth

8. Avoid poisonous swords or you'll die, after you shrivel slowly to dust-The Battle of the Labyrinth

9. Anything is possible: including blue food and that Percy can pass seventh grade. - The Sea of Monsters

10. People, and horses, who call Mr. D. the wine dude end up in a bottle of Merlot.- The Titans Curse

11. Three kids can drown in a really big bathtub.- The Lightning Thief

12. Everything strange washes up on the shores of Miami.-The Sea of Monsters

13. You can't enjoy practical jokes when you feel like one.-The Last Olympian

14. Say hello to pink poodles.-The Lightning Thief

15. When you need Tantalus to go away, tell him to go chase a doughnut. -The Sea of Monsters

16. Even heroes drool in their sleep- The Lightning Thief

17. When things seem bad enough, they usually breathe fire.-The Sea of Monsters

18. When barnyard animals don't want to kill you, they want food.-The Lightning Thief

19. Don't blow your nose when someone near you is running from skeletons.-The Titans Curse

20. Don't beat a god in a video game- he might want your soul. -The Last Olympian

21. If things seem like they won't go your way, though most just think it's bad luck, blame the gods - The Lightning Thief

22. People can do horrible things but if in the end, they did something that helped tip the scale in your favor, they become TRUE heroes - The Last Olympian

23. Being you can prove to be the best thing. -Learned from all the PJatO books

Favorite Quotes From Percy Jackson

“It's a pen.” -Rick Riordan The Lightning Thief

“Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot."
"He's the sun god," I said.
"That's not what I meant.” -Rick Riordan The Titian's Curse

“I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.”
--Rick Riordan

“Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.”
_Rick Riordan Battle of the Labyrinth

“Percy: Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?
Annabeth: Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then we'll see.”

-Rick Riordan The last Olympian

“Poseidon put his weathered hand on my shoulder. “Percy, lesser beings do many horrible things in the name of the gods. That does not mean we gods approve. The way our sons and daughters act in our names…well, it usually says more about them than it does about us. And you, Percy, are my favorite son.” -Rick Riordan The battle of the Labyrinth

“Braccas meas vescimini!"
I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant 'Eat my pants!” -Rick Riordan The Lightning Thief

“Paul patted Mrs. O'Leary's snout. The living room shook —BOOM, BOOM, BOOM—which either meant a SWAT team was breaking down the door or Mrs. O'Leary was wagging her tail.
I couldn't help but smile. -Rick Riordan The Last Olympian

“It was like Percy had faced death before, like he knew about grief. What mattered was listening. You didn’t need to say you were sorry. The only thing that helped was moving on—moving forward.” -Rick Riordan The Son of Neptune

“I held out a lead figurine of Hades—the little Mythomagic statue Nico had abandoned when he fled camp last winter.
Nico hesitated. "I don’t play that game anymore. It’s for kids."
"It’s got four thousand attack power," I coaxed.
"Five thousand," Nico corrected. "But only if your opponent attacks first."
I smiled. "Maybe it’s okay to still be a kid once in a while.” -Rick Riordan The battle of the Labyrinth

“When he pulled away, he smiled kindly at me. I felt so good, I'll admit I teared up a little. I guess until that moment I hadn't allowed myself to realize just how terrified I had been the last few days.
"Dad-"
"Shhh," he said. "No hero is above fear, Percy. And you have risen above every hero. Not even Hercules-” -Rick Riordan The last Olympian

Copy and paste this acronym if you love Percy Jackson:

Perseus Jackson. Saviour of Olympus.

Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.

Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.

Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)

Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.

Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.

Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.

Chiron. Trainer of heroes.

Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.

Son of Neptune. The book we love.

Olympus. Home of the gods.

Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.

Atlas. Zoe's father.

Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.

Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)

Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.

Hephaestus. The father of our favourite fire boy. ;)

Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.

Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.

Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.

Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.

Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.

Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.

Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp.

LINEBREAK

You Know You're a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (YES!)

You write fanfictions about the book. (Why am I on this site then?)

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. (My mom, my friends, my dad... Yep)

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.

Everything reminds you of the book.(Definitely!)

You quote random lines all the time.(Most of the time)

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (I imagine it..)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. ( Yep. Totally.)

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. (I usually just draw them..)

You've got a book memorized. (Yep! :))

You've read a book more than five times. ( More like 20)

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (Yep!)

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (...Why not?)

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend (Not MURDER, just steal...)

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. (Yes!)

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (Hmm.. Not quite!)

I am a book addict and proud of it!!! If you are one too, copy and paste this on your profile.

Help Eevee take over the world by posting this on your profile!

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(\_/) PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE
('.') IF YOU HATE
(")_(") ANIMAL CRUELTY

Don't read the sentence below.

Your a rebel. I like you. :)

If you ever yelled at a TV show/Video game/manga/book character for being stupid, copy this in your profile

If you've ever been in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Pinkpelt, Lolita of the Damned, Colonel Bastard,Crimson.Haven, wolfpup026, Maela LouBell ShinoShane, The Queen of Cookies, epicfrenchfry, Rosycat

If you're a demigod add yourself onto the list and post this on your profile. Shorty/Kris KG/Lizzy' Wisegirl 101/Lindsay Seaweed Brain 013/Sebz Cloudy Alore/Faye XxxBellxXxGirlxxX76/Bells xXtheshadowhuntressxX annapercy1 Hula The new Ace of spies 7cerberus7 storyteller221/Kali Lenor AthenaPersephone14 Laserfire JBaddict1234 SeaweedGirl1 AnikaandAj/ Aj Kronos Army/ dragonswoe/Rosycat

If you have ever ran into something while walking with a book, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If it starts actually raining cats and dogs, don't go outside. Just stay on a covered porch and grab any that come close enough . If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever checked your story for reviews over 5 times in one day, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

you think that "Dumb Blonde" jokes wouldn't exist if everyone knew who Annabeth Chase was, post this on your profile

If you like chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever wished that you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty then copy this into your profile!

If you are a cat lover, copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to this list: Mothstar, Winterthaw,Newlife, Rory's Greatest Fan, Redwolfvirus, Otterhope, Petalstar, PhoenixWillowsRox88, Rosycat

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night! :D)

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you love, and I mean love, to read, put this on your profile.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you

can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe

92% of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. If you are part of the 8% that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. fI you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie.

98% of the internet population has a Myspace (or Facebook). If you're part of the 2% that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know more about Quidditch than football, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, copy this to yours.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent that hasn't , copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

Do you know that the average American reads only three books a year? If you believe that it's not possible to read so little, copy this into your profile.

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), DGMSilverAirHead03(USA), Crystal Amethyst (Armenia), InoueR0xO (Pakistan), poohxebony (USA), DreamingInThePast (Spain), loves2readandwrite (USA), SeaDevil (Sweden), Vampgal212 (U.K.), Verdigurl ( New Zealand), Animerockchic (Republic of Ireland), Momoka64 (USA), Ve Kuraresa Bleach (USA), AFleetingPhantom (U.K.), EpicHeroLaugh(USA), Fruity-Dragonfly (USA), 9foxgrl (USA), UnitedOsprey1991(USA), Dragonwolf12 (USA), stars90 (USA), GoldenCanonMaster (USA), Ninja Lordess (Germany) Jade Fey (USA) Master Shipper (USA) Rosycat (Canada)

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Does anyone else think that Minerva Paradizo from Artemis Fowl is a child of Athena?

1. She is blonde like chldren of Athena

2. She is SUPER SMART

3. She is named after Athena's roman form

4. Her mother left before she was born...

Did anyone else notice that if you put together E. And Aster from Bunny from ROTG's full name, it spells Easter?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Questions to Ponder...

Why can pizza get to your house faster then an ambulance?(It's true!)

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

Where's the good in goodbye?

Why are they called apartments when they all stick together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Am I the only one who finds it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

When the guy first discovered milk...what do you think he was doing?

6 Truths in your life:

1. You can't touch all your teeth with your tongue

2. Now you're trying this because you're an idiot

3. The first truth is a lie

4. Now you're smiling because you're an idiot

5. You wanna send it to other idiots

6. Then you're thinking: 'No, I'll put it on my profile'

fell for it alright, so over course I just had to put it on here!

When can we live in a world where chickens can cross the road without being questioned about their motives?

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

7 Ways to scare your room-mates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you're hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

Demigod Puns:

Percy: Boy, there sure is something... fishy... going on here.

Annabeth: Yes. It would be... wise...to avoid trouble.

Nico: What are you doing. Stop it.

Jason: Wow. What a... shocking... development.

Leo: Things are... heating up.

Nico: Zhang, please make them stop.

Frank: Alright guys, you heard Nico. I guess I'll have to be... frank with you.

Nico: You're all idiots.

Piper: Well, I think it's quite...

Nico: Don't you dare!

Piper: ...charming

Hazel: Why, these puns are pure... gold

Nico: You're all dead to me

Nico: Wait, NO!

Really Dumb Store labels:

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of
Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...??)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE AN AUTHOR

-You really like writing.

-You really like reading

-You like listening to books on tape

-You were so excited when you found this website and you want to post as much stuff as possible on it

-You often get random story ideas and have to write them down as quickly as possible

-You start automatically correcting people on their grammar

-You start automatically correcting stuff people write in your head when you read it

-You enjoy weaving together words like a cloth so that it sounds like you're a genius when you talk or write and you use extremely fancy words

-You've got millions of different books memorized

-You've wanted your own laptop forever so that you can just write all day

-You've wanted a laptop so much for the above reasons that you would be willing to get one as both your birthday and Christmas present(s)

If you fit into any of those personality-wise, you are an author.

Copy-and-paste this onto your profile if you are an author.