Female Comebacks:

Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Girl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Girl: Do not enter.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl: But would you stay there?

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Girl: Really? 'Cause I'd put f and u together.

Guy: Your eyes they're amazing.
Girl: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Girl: It's in the phone book
Guy: But I don't know your name
Girl: That's in the phone book too

Guy: I know how to please a woman
Girl: Then please leave me alone

Guy: I can tell you want me
Girl: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Guy: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous
Girl: Would that be under your McLame Burger

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven
Girl: Not nearly as bad as when you fell on planet rejection

Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again
Girl: No, but sure...next time just be sure to keep walking

Guy: I want to give myself to you
Girl: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts

Guy: It's a good thing I have a library card because I'm checking you out
Girl: Sorry, I'm on reserve for someone else

(copy and paste on profile if you so wanna say this stuff!:D)

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.

BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS:Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin, "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS:Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore/Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Return your stuff right away.

BEST FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS:Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FRIENDS:Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS:You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."

FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

BEST FRIENDS:Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

BEST FRIENDS:Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejected you

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this crap!!

What a Boyfriend SHOULD Do:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
don't look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking?"

Month One

Mommy,
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen
ALONE

Friends: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friends: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friends: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friends: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friends: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friends: Won't let me go away

Friends: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friends: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friends: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friends: Will kidnap the band with me

Friends: Asks me for my number
Best friends: Asks me for her number

Friends: Hides me from the cops
Best Friends: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friends: let me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friends: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy
whenever Im at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car

One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday