![]() From: Canada Age: Young enough to do (and survive) the crazy shit I do. Old enough to know better. Sign: Gemini Gender: Male Favourite colour(s): Black (Yes, yes. I know it’s a shade, not a colour), blue and silver! I usually read Naruto, Harry Potter, BNHA fanfics although I'm open to pretty much anything! (I felt the need to update my profile since my last change to it was in 2016 back when I first made my account!) Some quotes I shamelessly stole from other profiles: Roses are red 999999966699999996669999996699999966996699 1) Highlight the numbers. Difference between a strategists and mastermind -A strategist gather's intel to evaluate probabilities -A mastermind manipulates intel to stack the odds We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below: “GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?” “BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!” We hope this clears up any confusion, The International Council of Manhood, Ltd. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail: Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. Come down with a BAD case of Torte’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she/he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. Try to get people in the room to do a wave. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?" Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..." Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras. 20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In." 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "for smuggling diamonds." 7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuations. 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is, "To go." 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme? 14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom. 17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won!, I won!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" 19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity... copy and paste this into your profile! Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V. -V She: Bye! |
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