When a chance meeting reveals Harry's planned fate to Lockhart, he knows what he has to do: rescue him and raise him as his own to properly manage his celebrity status. Harry gets a magical upbringing, Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived...everybody wins!

When three Hogwarts students are murdered, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon goes undercover as the new DADA teacher. Assisted by Harry, Hermione, and his old flame Professor Septima Vector, Langdon unearths deadly ancient secrets at Hogwarts.

Harry recalls that a pale little girl called Sally-Anne was sorted into Hufflepuff during his first year, but no one else remembers her. Was there really a Sally-Anne? Harry and Hermione set out to solve the chilling mystery of the lost Hogwarts student.

COMPLETE. OneShot. Either Fred and George played a prank on Harry, Harry played a prank on Fred and George, or they're all playing pranks on everybody. Although to be honest, it really doesn't matter how it happened. WARNING: crude, immature, ADULT humor.

COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.

COMPLETE. PostOotP. Harry Luna Challenge Response. Harry refuses to stay with the Dursleys and is now going to spend the summer hunting for Snorkacks with the Lovegoods. This is crude, immature, adult themed humor.