Tom Riddle's plans fall through when Ginny Weasley loses his diary shortly after starting her first year and it is found by one Luna Lovegood. A series of bizarre conversations follow. Luna? - Yes Tom? - I've been giving this a lot of thought...and I believe you may be insane. (Not crack. I repeat, not crack ! Plot takes a few chapters to appear but it's there)

Harry Potter has been banged up for ten years in the hellhole brig of Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit, and his traitorous brother, the not-really-boy-who-lived, has royally messed things up. After meeting Fate and Death, Harry is given a second chance to squash Voldemort, dodge a thousand years in prison, and snatch everything his hated brother holds dear. H/Hr/LL/DG/GW.

Harry is struck with the killing curse and wakes up the day of the Last Task. This story will be the Order of The Phoenix if Harry had been a bit wiser and Luna a more present character. No time Paradox and no godmoding. Slow build up.

The day before Harry Potter was due to go to Hogwarts for the very first time, his aunt and uncle informed him that he wouldn't be going. Instead, he was sent to Stonewall High. Now, three years later, the Goblet of Fire has named him as a TriWizard Champion. What that means is anyone's guess, but to Harry, one thing is clear: he can finally get away from Privet Drive.

Two days before the First Task, Harry is desperate for a workable plan, but what he comes up with raises crucial questions. Is it still an Unforgivable if you cast it on yourself? And will it prevent Harry from becoming a dragon's tea-time snack? Two-shot.

Luckily, lazy came up in Petunia's tirades slightly more often than freak, otherwise, this could have been a very different story. AU. Not your usual Hufflepuff!Harry story.

Sequel - Read the others first, of course. Lazy!harry is back for another year of doing nothing. This will not be a long story. Sorry for the wait.

Hermione Granger is bloody sick of having the most pathetic love life of everyone she knows. After reaching the grand old age of thirty, she decides it's time to take matters into her own hands. Enter Charlie Weasley, who's about to have one of the most surprising- and sexiest- weeks of his life. -Five parts! Lemons galore!-

Who knew that a trick being played on her would lead to it being her lucky day?

Severus Snape receives a letter from the Department of Magical Education he can't ignore.

Hermione was eight when she summoned her first demon. She was lonely. He asked what she wanted, and she said a friend to have tea parties with. It confused him a lot. But that wasn't going to stop him from striking a promising deal with the young witch. Dark!Hermione, Slytherin!Hermione, occult theme. Complete.

Daphne woke up to the smell of coffee, which was unusual, all things considered. Mostly because she didn't drink coffee.

Ron leaving them stranded on the hunt for the horcruxes wakes Harry and Hermione up to the fact that they cannot continue on as they have. They will have to think things through and not trust to luck or a destiny that may or may not turn out in their favour.

Hedwig is a very smart owl; none would dare deny that! So what is a very smart owl to do when she finds her human's living conditions unsatisfactory? Finding a new home is top of the list. Finding a mate for him is right after it. After all how is an owl supposed to justify having owlets if her human hasn't had children of his own yet? Very much a humor fic, no bashing of anyone.

Gen, AU. In a world where Neville is the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry still grows up with the Dursleys, but he learns to be more private about what matters to him. When McGonagall comes to give him his letter, she also unwittingly gives Harry both a new quest and a new passion: Transfiguration. Mentor Minerva fic. Rated for violence. COMPLETE.

A sharp and sudden change that can have devastating effects. When a Harry Potter that didn't follow the path of the Epilogue finds himself suddenly thrown into 1970, he settles into a muggle pub to enjoy a nice drink and figure out what he should do with the situation. Naturally, things don't work out the way he intended.

Before the first task in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Moody told Harry to 'play to your strengths' and Harry took those words to heart. Of course the Wizard World was less than pleased with the new Harry.

How difficult can it be for Harry Potter to get a date to the Yule Ball? Extremely difficult if you have a jealous Ron Weasley scaring them away. Warning for Ron bashing. Rated T for themes and language.

Third in the Black Queen series. Jen chose to embrace the darker aspects of the world long ago, and she has never once regretted it. However, serving Baron Samedi creates its own problems. A new enemy is on the prowl, and now she needs to eliminate him… before he can do the same to her. Jen/Luna; as always, not for children

This is a mix of genres, first and foremost it is a 'Fix It' story. There are also hints of 'Muggles do it better', and more than a little crack, with the BDA being one of the most feared organizations on the planet, along with a bit of fun with Tom Riddle's 'You Know Who' pseudonym. Clell62619 started it. I'm adding to it. I've taken it as far as I can. Feel free to write a sequel

Albus Dumbledore has been looking for his young charge for a long time, he is being assaulted on all sides by those who are looking for the young man he lost so long ago. He has taken a final desperate gamble with the coming of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, he wanted Harry Potter… the Chrome Wizard has come! Betaed by the amazing pazed!

Sequel to Fantastic Elves and Where to Find Them! Harry is captured by wizards and brought to a castle. The wizards are obnoxious, but there's a lovely wood nearby which is quaintly named the "Forbidden" Forest. Harry thinks that's adorable.

Daphne Greengrass, Harem Mistress, is quite perturbed with Umbridge ruining her plans. Now Harry's run off to the Ministry without her. What is a Harem Mistress supposed to do but to go retrieve her future boyfriend? If she happens to kill Voldemort along the way then so be it.

For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would become a Dark Lord. For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would take down the Ministry or die trying. He should have known that Hermione and Ron wouldn't let him do it alone.

The escape of Peter Pettigrew leaves a deeper mark on his character than anyone expected, then comes the Goblet of Fire and the chance of a quiet year to improve himself, but Harry Potter and the Quiet Revision Year was never going to last long. A more mature, darker Harry, bearing the effects of 11 years of virtual solitude. GoF AU. There will be romance... eventually.

Late one Spring night at Hogwarts, seven girls are sent out into the grounds by their Headmistress to complete a powerful ritual involving old magic, one tree, and many orgasms. (Hermione, Susan, Ginny, Luna, Padma, Parvati, Daphne) tentacles, anal, dp, bdsm, bukkake, lesbian twincest.

Suffering the effects of a leftover curse, Harry has to live a few days being completely blind. As such, feelings are stirred and Harry and Draco find themselves being much closer than they ever thought they could be. Set in eighth year - post war. Quite fluffy.

A young Harry learns the everyday power of words. He's going to make the Dursleys happy by being "normal". Then they'll love him, just like they love Dudley! It's a flawless plan... right? Smart!Harry, Manipulative!Harry, canonical level child neglect/abuse. Complete. Part 1 of the "Perfectly Normal" series.

Second in the Black Queen series. Last year, Jen had to contend with a deadly Tournament, a revived Dark Lord, a meddlesome Headmaster, and worst of all, reconciliation attempts by her parents. Surely her OWL year can't be anywhere near as complicated. Can it? NOT for children!

A fourth year fic. Harry is stuck in something he doesn't want to be in, Dumbledore's a manipulative bastard, Voldemort wants Harry dead, the school hates him...sounds like every year right? Well this year Hermione has a brilliant idea (or more than one) and her idea(s) change Harry's life, her life, and a big black dog's life too. AU and no idea which genre to put this under.

The events at the end of the Triwizard Tournament have left Harry feeling just a little bit paranoid.

Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.

The presence of a foreign soul may have unexpected side effects on a growing child. I am Lord Volde...Harry Potter. I'm Harry Potter. In which Harry is insane, Hermione is a Dark Lady-in-training, Ginny is a minion, and Ron is confused.

Can some angry words change everything?

First in the Black Queen series. Sirius searches for his goddaughter and finds her in one of the least expected and worst possible locations and lifestyles. How was he to know just how many problems bringing her home would cause? DARK and NOT for children. fem!Harry

Systematically abused and degraded children do not suddenly turn into well-adjusted members of society when removed from the abusive situation. Nor do they tend to be very trusting of others, or forgiving. Sequel up.

After the Dursleys abandon six year old Harry in a park in Kent, Harry comes to the realization that he is an elf. Not a house elf, though. A forest elf. Never mind wizards vs muggles; Harry has his own thing going on. Character study, pre-Hogwarts, NOT a creature!fic, slightly cracky.

Harry, shattered by Ginny's death during the Battle of Hogwarts, retreats from public life, even from almost all contact with the Weasleys. But he is not the only one with scars. Six months later he comes across a witch who may be more damaged than he...

Harry reckons his future is bleak if he stays at Hogwarts. The Tri-Wizard tournament offers him a fail-safe way of escaping his perceived destiny, that is until Harry discovered the hidden costs. H/Hr

Hermione and Millicent have an unspoken arrangement. Emotions go a bit haywire after Ron and Harry find out, and then Millicent tries to change the terms. Hermione x Millicent

Young Harry liked numbers, he liked using numbers and working out the value of things. When he found out that he was a wizard and had a big pile of gold... well, he had something new to calculate. oneshot, complete, don't own.

Broken and defeated, the War long since lost, Harry enacts his final desperate gambit: Travel back in time to the day of the Third Task, destroy all of Voldemort's horcruxes and prevent the Dark Lord's resurrection…all within the space of twelve hours.

"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?" ...Snape kicks Harry out of 'Remedial Potions', but as we know from The Philosopher's Stone, there is another Occlumens in the school good enough to keep out the Dark Lord. Stupid oneshot.

Lazy!Harry is back, and not doing very much at all...

Hermione is sad that her parents can't relate to her magical life, so Harry learns how to use a muggle camera to take photos that she can mail to them with her letters. Using her as a model, however, makes him realize how beautiful she really is.

A humorous one-shot in which Hermione challenges Ron as to which one of them is truly Harry's Best Mate.

"Now, lust potions develop feelings of desire in the taker without the affection that a love potion gives, so Malfoy, you will find that you continue to see Potter as the insufferable twit that he is." Slash. Not HBP/DH compliant.

A rewrite of 'Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts' done to improve some of the story elements, cut down on the Weasley bashing, and generally make a bit more sense. The changes are minor, but I believe make for a better story.

On his 16th birthday Dumbledore presents Harry with a little surprize. He's just gotten married.

In third year, Harry decided to quit Divination, following Hermione. Having to take a substitute course, he end up choosing Ancient Runes and find himself to be quite gifted. Smart Harry. Slightly manipulative. Rated M for later subjects and language.

So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.

COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.

SS/HG. Post-Deathly Hallows. Severus Snape survives, only to find himself entangled in an enchantment he never expected. COMPLETE.

What if Vernon and Petunia were even more successfull in 'beating all that nonsense' out of Harry? A silly AU story of a nonpowerful, but cunning, Harry.

7 year old Luna wants a husband, and she wants one now. With the unintended help of her befuddled father, she kidnaps Harry Potter. Idea and 1st chapter by Roscharch's Blot

Voldemort has finally pushed Harry too far. There is only one recourse open to the young hero. He must unleash the most horrifying, the most diabolical weapon in his arsenal. The mind of Hermione Granger.

Complete AU 7th book, Dumbledore is gone, the Ministry and Hogwarts in disarray, Harry and his friends are the only hope, but then Harry's Magic is gone. Some times it really sucks to be Harry Potter. HPHG eventually.