![]() Name: Crazychick104 Age: 14 Grade: 10th Height: 6ft Weight: None of your beezwax Hair color: Purplish red Eye color: dark brown Shoe size: WTH?! INFO: I am just you're adverage Narutard. Don't worry I like other things to. Well anyways. I have another account on here but I got rid of it and now i am using this one since I feel like starting a new thing. I just don't want to be the same. Ok that was a total lie. i just wanted to see if i could load some other shit onto here and well not get in trouble for it. An easy solution for an issue like this. Anyways I am in high school and when you're in high school you get bored, now if you are an anime loving freak like me then this is an easy solution. Now i may sound boring now but hey I am starting to go back to my usual boring self... FAVORITE... Animes: NARUTO, Inuyasha, d.grayman, Higurashi no naku koro ni, Elfin lied, lucky star, soul eater, Kuroshitsuji, Melancholy of Haruhi suzumya, Power puff girls z, and Choccotto sister Artists: Mindless self indulgence, My chemical romance, linkin park, paramore, and Flyleaf Books: Bad girls dont die People: I don't have that many. Quote: "Why so serious?" Foods: Pizza, cookies, ice cream, rice, chicken, beans, pasta, bread, and raman People to hate: Celebrities, people at my school, and other people. Well then... ENJOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! O--O Only in America... 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an EVER WONDER... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? xxXXxx OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. xxXXxx For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. xxXXxx This is about abortion... Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. xxXXxx Lessons Learned In Twilight . . . 1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine. 2. The future is not set in stone. 3. Men are crabby when they're hungry. 4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear. 5. True love knows no boundaries. 6. Some people are just danger magnets. 7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love. 8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle! 9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them. 10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes. 11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day. 12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain. 13. Family is about more than just blood. 14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing. 15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising. 16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings. 17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity. 18. There are exceptions to every rule. 19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid. 20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy. 21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's. 22. Cold hands = Warm heart. 23. Not breathing is uncomfortable. 24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair. 25. Romeo was an idiot. 26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day. 27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone. 28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with. 29. Space heaters can be very annoying. 30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise. 31. The best time to play baseball is during a major thunderstorm. IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME! 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. A black man walked into a bar and sat down. A white man came up to him and said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir . . . But you sir. . . The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Copy and paste this onto your profile if you hate racism! If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. 92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. If you think the semi-colon is completely usless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, copy and paste this in your profile! If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile! if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. If you have ever heard of National Talk like a Pirate Day copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile if you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile. If you are or know a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. (I know both . . . MUAHAHAHA! :P) If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy and paste this in your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile. If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. In relation to above You already know this, look at the copy and paste thing above. Learn to sleep with your eyes open. He He He He. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile. If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever had an argument with your multiple personalities, copy and paste this in your profile. If you absolutely HATED the ending to the FMA movie and anime, copy and paste this in your profile. If you believe that Ed and Al WILL find a way back to Amnestris (sp?), copy and paste this in your profile. You know you live in 2009 when: 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! Girls NINE THINGS TO SEE BEFORE YOU DIE: 1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal. 2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies. 3. Homer say something intelligent. 4. Taxes disappear. 5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes. 6. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect. 7. Wrestling people forget their moves. 8. The coyote catch the road runner. 9. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing. Ten Signs of Obsession with a Book (Series) or Movie: 1. You are constantly thinking about it. 2. You have at least a billion characterizations and opinions about it and want to discuss it 24/7. 3.You are thinking of parodies for it and posting them in fanfiction.net. 4.You have a billion questions you want to ask the author (e.g. Does Annabeth have a bellybutton? How does Edward react when he hears sixties' music?). 5. Your friends and immediate family notice that this book (series) or movie is all you ever talk about. 6. You daydream about it when you are bored. (especialy making alternate endings . . . coughcoughfrostbitecoughcough . . . when it doesn't turn out the way you'd like . . . coughcoughmasendyingcoughcough) 7. You are constantly thinking of sequels or prequels and putting them on fanfiction.net. 8. When you doodle, it happens to be one or more characters or a symbol in the book (series) or movie. (do you have any idea how many times I've drawn Fang?? And the letters of the title (e.g. MR, TS, VA, PJO, etc.) in funky shapes?? And the symbol for the Twilight Saga??) 9. You reread/rewatch the book (series) or movie on a daily basis. 10. You think about it every night before you go to sleep. (true dat . . . see above: #6) MY 100+ WAYS SECTION: 100+ WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF WAL-MART 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 11. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout store. 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?" 15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department. 16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive. 17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 20. Put M&M's on layaway. 21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!" 26. TP as much of the store as possible. 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. 29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 32. Take bets on the battle described above. 33. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!" 36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. 37. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 42. Two words: "Marco Polo." 43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc. 44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging & playing air guitar to Willie Nelson demos. (Bonus: Braid hair & tie bandanna around head). 45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. 46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. 47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. 51. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 52. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in strategic locations. 53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 57. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!) 58. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room. 60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them. 61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. 62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them. 63. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in. 64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie." 66. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles. 67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 68. If you're female: Take some men's clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to try them on. Act shocked and insist, "But I AM a man," if the attendant says anything. If you're a man, vice versa. 69. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren’t looking. 70. Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of strong perfume as they walk by. Lean in and sniff the, then wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "P-eeew! That perfume stinks!" 71. Plastic fake-vomit and fake-dog doo can be utilized effectively here. 72. Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page customer "Mike Hunt" (or "Harry Butz", etc.) 73. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem. 74. While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify the boxes of "Anusol" by covering up the "OL" on the logo. 75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc. 76. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV’s to Young & the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly. 77. Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you. 78. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start crying. 79. One word: STREAK! 80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me". 81. Start pocketing any and all free samples. 82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins. 82. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to Mc Donald's and try to return a toaster. 83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream and lice remedies are. 84. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". 85. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10". 86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store. 87. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As you’re walking through the doors act like you’re expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can. 88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song. 89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department. 90. Put lingerie in the men's department. 91. Put super sexy women’s lingerie in old men's carts when they turn around. 92. Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture. 93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized. 94. Put condoms in the mannequin's hands, and cigarettes in their mouths. (Safety warning: Leave cigarettes unlit.) 95. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and "buzzing". 96. With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture Dept. 97. Walk up to a guy and say "It's YOU!! I haven't seen you in so long!!" and kiss him, then say "Why didn't you ever call me?" and walk away. Much more effective if you’re also a guy. 98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. 99. Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone. 100. Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is on? I don't know the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, and don't stop until somebody throws you out. 101. Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on a leash. Better yet, whinny while trying on horse tack and a friend holds the reins. 102. Take fishing rods & a fishing hat from Sporting Goods to the Pet Department. Pretend to fish in the goldfish tanks. 103. With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all excited about something. See how many people who walk by will come stand in it, too. (Note - This really works) 104. Steal a Walmart shirt, and the possibilities are endless. BONUS: Attempt all of the above during the same visit. 100+ WAYS TO GET PUT IN A STRAIGHTJACKET 1. Introduce self as roleplaying character in public. 2. Talk to fictional characters in public. 3. Answer fictional characters in public. 4. Talk to inanimate objects in public 5. Do not go out in public. 6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4. 7. Note expressions. 8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you. 9. Floor is slippery when wet. 10. Lake is slippery when dry. 11. Only talk to strangers you know. 12. Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all. 13. For legal purposes be sure to delete above note. 14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you. 15. Kill them for security purposes. 16. Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings. 17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible. 18. The men in white coats are not your friends. 19. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects while holding anti-depression pills. 20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket. 21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning. 22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. 23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age. 24. Always remember, um... um... Damn. 25. Train army of flying monkeys. 26. Goldfish don't like milk. 27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits. 28. Find out who invented the word "pianist". 29. People are staring at you. 30. So act insane. 31. People are weird, but not as weird as me. 32. Taunt animals at zoo. 33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people. 34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible. 35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding. 36. Pet a burning dog. 37. Make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka. 38. Naked men dig parkas. 39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka. 40. You know what would look good on you? 41. Immolated cockroaches. 42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug. 43. The size of Danny DeVito. 44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. 45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers. 46. Stalking is fun. Do it more. 47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!" 48. No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world. 49. That way is rum. 50. Constipated people don't give a sh-t. 52. You cannot kill the snow. 53. The snow can kill you. 54. Grass can also kill you. 55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms... 56. Catch and castrate leprechaun. 57. HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say. 58. Staple paper in the middle of the page. 59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally. 60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that. 61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs. 62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon. 63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway? 64. Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork. 65. Remember to kill HIM... 66. Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood. 67. Note reactions. Avoid parents. 68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory. 69. Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice. 70. Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions. 71. Eat the evidence. 72. But not if it's broken glass. 73. When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run. 74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids. 75. Disregard last note. 76. Note reactions. 77. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year. 78. Stock up on ball point pens. 79. Learn to fly. Tell no one. 80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. 81. Do not stick fingers into blender. 82. Blender... Bad... Ouch. 83. Blood loss is bad. 84. Find way to re-attatch fingers. 85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM. 86. Answer every question with a question. 87. Ask people what gender they are. 88. Note reactions. 89. Refer to people as "mortal". 90. Say, 'The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.' 91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible. 92. Start by drowning them in fire ants. 93. Find the creators of pop-up messages. 94. Kill them. 95. Brutally. 96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. 97. Dunk head in boiling water. 98. Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7. 99. Gullible IS written on the ceiling! 100. Look up and read it. Out loud. To the WHOLE world. Wait for the people carrying the pretty white coat to come. 101. Then run. VERY, VERY fast. 102. Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down... BONUS: Try all things before getting sent to an asylum. 50+ WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE AT THE CINEMA 1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"2. Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses. 3. Clap when the good guy gets killed. 4. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" 5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" 6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. 7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. 8. Yell out what is going to happen. 9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. 10. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. 11. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. 12. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row. 13. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are. 14. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. 15. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. 16. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. 17. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (For a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...) 18. Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. 19. Try to start a wave. 20. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. 21. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. 22. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" 23. Sing with the theme music. 24. Bring and use your own air freshener. 25. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." 26. Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off. 27. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. 28. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. 29. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!" 30. Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. 31. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. 32. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. 33. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" 34. Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. 35. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" 36. Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. 37. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. 38. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing, "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat!" 39. Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!" then jump on the floor, and cover your head. 40. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. 41. When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!" 42. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself. 43. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. 44. During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!" 45. Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room. 46. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn. 47. Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" 48. Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" 49. Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting, "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" 50. Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said. 51. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. 52. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. 53. Say, "Shhhhh," every 5 minutes. 54. Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending. o--o 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie & Fitch told them it was uncool to breath, it you are the 8 that would be laughing their asses off... copy and post this onto your profile if you think that those kids should just give that stupid rabbit some forsaken trix, copy and paste this onto your profile! if you have ever ran into a door or a glass wall copy and paste this onto your profile If you have a dog, and wish he could talk like total, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile If you feel bad for Jacob Black...copy and paste this on your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, UPDRAFTGIRL37,winged vampire grl, crazychick104 If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile If you're defying gravity, and no one can pull you down, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" (or just say "I know! Join the club of freaky-ness. Where we all act like freaks!", which is what I do), copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid cliché, EdwardandFangdreams4life, Insane Winged Girl, UPDRAFTGIRL37,wingedvampiregrl, crazychick104 98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile. 98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you generally crash on your couch even when your bed is free, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile (you don't wanna hear that story) if someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you only like to copy but hate pasting, copy this but don't paste it into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile. If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you find yourself making fanfictions of your life/your friends lives/random people you know's lives/random people you know of's lives, post this in your profile. If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile. If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. f you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you could, copy this into your profile. If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele. if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile. if you've ever started sobbing for no reason copy this to your profile. If you think Rosalie Hale is beyond a shadow of a doubt THE SINGLE HOTTEST VAMPIRE EVER, copy this to your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile. If you're friends think you're an idiot for going to this site on a daily basis, but you dont care cause this site rocks, copy and paste this to your profile 92 percent of american teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this to your profile if you are one of the six percent who laughed their asses off when they heard this, or if you are one of the two percent who didn't know what Abercombie and Fitch was(like me) 95 percent of people are concerned with being popular. If you are part of the five percent who couldn't care less, copy this to your profile. If your single biggest fear is drowning, copy this to your profile. If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile. Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.) (my faves are in italics)(as seen in all-hail-the-jello's profile) 15 Things to do when you’re in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "We have a Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go" shoot for the moon, even if u miss u will land among the stars... -unknown when life gives u lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how u did it - unknown "When someone says "nothing is impossible" ask them to dribble a football I plan on living forever...so far so good WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE: A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl:Slow down, I'm scared! Guy:No, this is fun. Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy:Then tell me you love me. Girl:I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love. 16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity. 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN” 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso. 6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”. 7.Don’t use any punctuation. 8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go” 10. Sing Along at the Opera 11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme. 12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!” 14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!” 15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.” 16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile. you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more MWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile! If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Girl: Do you like me? Girl: Do you want me? Girl: Would you cry if I left? Girl: Would you live for me? Girl: Would you do anything for me? Girl: Choose--me or your life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile. When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. "The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a best friend will be in the room next to you yelling "THAT WAS AWESOME LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. Education is important, school however, is another matter. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers Beware! For my place of employment has given me a NEW weapon...THE BUBBLE WRAP! Directions to Llama-land: When the world is ending, I'm throwing the party! (\_/) "Life is empty and so is the fridge." "The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and cover me with clothes. Don't let it find me." .: There's three ways to do things:. Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?" My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding. Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils" "It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird" "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking" "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." "I can resist everything except temptation." "Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you." "Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile" The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods... On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Try Not to Cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Sorry if this upsets any of you blonds out there, i just think these jokes are funny: Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!" There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been My name is Ann and I am 45 years What a great email it was!! Just scroll down to the end, but Go for it! SCROLL DOWN! STOP! Congratulations! Your wish will Now follow this carefully...it If you repost this within the next 5 min. This is scary! The phone will ring right after you repost! Wow this was long!! |
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