
name:your a stalker
age:your a stalker
element:fire
copy and pastes
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile
EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If You Embrace The Weirdness, Copy And Paste This On To Your Profile And Add Your Name To The List. Emy Em Em, Lady Sakura of the Fated, Sasukez, Fuzzy makes me happy, Lunadance506, Crimsonsunxx, Shadow Dragon13, gyvb from quizilla, Cannabality.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile
If you have thrown fake shuriken, kunai, or have attempted hand signs, copy/paste to your profile.
If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile
PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, YOU MUST LIKE PIE, IF YOU DO, STATE IT PROUDLY, AND COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!!
If you think that life without computers is pointless, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're putting this in your profile only for entertainment purposes and to make your profile longer than it already is because that's just plain awesome, copy and paste this into your profile to make it longer than it already is by copying and pasting this into the profile you are trying to make longer and yes, I am completely aware that I'm putting all this to make this copy-and-paste a heck of a lot longer than it has to be; I'm just smart like that. (lol, couldn't help it)
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile
If you actually take the time to read copy-and-pastes, copy this onto your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.(thats how i found this)
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have a long bio/profile, and wish to hereby enhance the length of said autobiographical document, copy and paste this to said world wide web page to make said autobiographical document increase in length, number of words, interestingness, and other things which would be known as fun, copy and paste this piece of information to your said autobiographical document.
If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If over half the stuff on you profile was copied and pasted copy and paste this onto your profile.
92 of the teens have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8 that still listens to real music, copy and paste this into your profile. (rap stinks. I'm a rocking person! XD)
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of the people that can't stand those 'copy and paste' things, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IT SANE, DO NOT COPY AND PASTE THIS.(thats what i did HAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA)
if you've ever created an awkward silence, copy and paste this to your profile.
Less than 1 of teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!(im aa boy so of course i dont)
If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile
If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then copy and paste this on your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (but not as as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you have ever banged your head against a table for no reason whatsoever copy this on to your profile
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, alannaswarrior, random.clumsy.vampire., Edward.love.of.my.existance., Shi-Toyu, garraswolfgirl, Super Rabid Cannibal Squirrels
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its chessy music. Crazy is when u laugh uncontrolable at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny.Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you memorized every single line of your favorite anime.Crazy is when your so obsessed with naruto that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if he will come out. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when your crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during creative expressions or on the buss. crazy is when you lick the cat for no reson.Crazy is when you stand up in a restuaraunt and say I MADE A POOP IN MY PANTS while everybody is watching.Crazy is not being scared when on the edge of a cliff but wet yourself thinking about being alone in your house.CRAZY IS WHEN YOU TALKIN ALL CAPS WITH LOTS OF EXCLEMATION POINTS!!Crazy is adding more then three things to this checklist.Crazy is living.Crazy is reading this checklist. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
If you think there's absolutely nothing wrong with swearing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you like to read people's profiles when you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you should be doing homework right now, then copy this into your profile
If there are times when you want to annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile
IF YOU HAVE SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
if you've ever walked into a wall b4 copy this into your pro
if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your pro
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return Man Life Sucks, The Poisoned Doughnut of DOOM -'TophToph'-, chocolatecoveredbananacheese, Vanille Strawberry, Semper-Fidelis-To-Kataang, Aangsfan silverwaves0210 Stargirlrox-hearts-Avatar,Super Rabid Cannibal Squirrels
(V)
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Copy the bunny to your presentation to help him achieve world domination, and come join the dark side. (We have cookies.)
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
STUFF
The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. On second thought, I'll shoot him, then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of a cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mindset.
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, naked mole rat, or whatever sickeningly-cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say, "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?" I will reply, "This," and kill the advisor.
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say, "Oh well," and kill her.
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However, before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment Room.
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror, "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be, "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the twelve Stones of Power on the sacred altar, then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of, "Push the button."
86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
89. After I capture the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
You know you live in 2008 when...
1. You go to a party, sit down and take My Space ( go Facebook!) pics.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/Live Journal/My Space.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
9. You were too busy to notice number five.
10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You know you did.
13. your sad because you fell for it and think you have to put it on ur profile
FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!
Well, I guess I'm a best friend. Are you?
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Im not a loser im a lvl 66 death knight
Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
Hold an auction.
Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
Throw a rave.
Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"
Have a heated debate with yourself.
Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
Drum on every available surface.
Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
Propose to the other passengers.
Challenge people to duels.
Sell girl scout cookies.
Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
Shout "Food fight!"
Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!
Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
Make sushi.
Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
Shave.
Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops
moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
Practice your kung fu.
Make race car noises when people get on and off.
Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
Fly a model airplane.
Do yoga.
Play the accordion
Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
15 Things to do when your in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
Soap Opera Name (middle name and current street name): camen nick
Super-Hero Name (favorite color and favorite drink): red water
Star Wars Name (first three letters of last name, first three letters of first name, last three letters of mother's maiden name): rob
Arabic Name (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name): ibclta
Goth Name (black and the name of one of your pets): Black mikey
Witness Protection Name (mother’s & father’s middle names): ann arthur
Nascar Name (first name of your mother’s mom, father’s mom): thea emily
Fly Name (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): niaw
Gangsta Name (first 3 letters of first name plus izzle): nicizzle
Detective Name (favorite color and favorite animal): red monkey
(pool stuff)
1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.
2) Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
3) Ask people if they have seen your pet shark. (named Kisame.)
4) Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
5) Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.
6) Hit strangers with your flutter board.
7) Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR on you.
8) Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good..." (Ought to try that sometime ;D)
9) Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.
10) Swim near someone and go "Dammit I knew I shouldn't have had watermelon before I came here."
11) Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool. (XDDDDDDDDDD)
12) Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say "HA-HA, fooled you!"
13) Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.
14) Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.
15) Tell people you saw the lifeguard pissing in the pool.
16) Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.17) Try to negotiate the price of getting in.
18) Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.
19) When in line, ask strangers if they think invisble people get a discount.
20) Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say "Wheee! I'm Batman!" while running around.
21) Hit strangers with your wet towel.
22) Throw people's things into the pool.
23) Sing and dance on top of the dinving board, then do a belly-flop as your grande-finale.
24) Play Marco-Polo by yourself.
25) Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately. (they run XD)
(lol stuff)
1. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter. 7. It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
10. Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.
11. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
12. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
13. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
14. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"? (No, I need youth.)
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes. (BOOOOOO!)
17. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
18. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
19. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't. (a girl did an essay on this at my school and the teacher didn't get it, and gave her a F! XD)(She did get a better grade when explained)
20. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? (I've always thought that...)
22. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.(XD)
25. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.(XD)
26. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
27. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. (TT.TT)
28. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
29. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
30. You can't have everything; where would you put it?(I know, in my world! XD)(Wait...I don't have a world...Darn. )
31. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.(omg! XD)
32. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?(XD)
33. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.(so true...)
34. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
35. DNA: National Dyslexic Association.
36. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
37. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.(XD)
38. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.(DX)
39. DARE to keep cops off donuts.
40. Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
41. On the other hand, you have different fingers. (Oh, I wonder how on earth that could happen)(sarcastic)
42. Dyslexics of the world, untie!
43. God made mankind. Sin made him evil.
44. I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere. (Kakuzu would be very annoyed)
45. I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back. (actually, it came back a day later ;D)
46. Don't steal. The government hates competition.
47. Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
48. National Atheist's Day- April 1st.
49. All generalizations are false.
50. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
51. Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
52. If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
53. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
54. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.
55. I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want? (I know! Gosh. DX)
56. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
57. I can handle pain until it hurts.
58. No matter where you go, you're there.
59. If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane. (meaning bad life, change your ways)
60. It's been Monday all week.
61. Gravity always gets me down.
62. This statement is false.
63. Eschew obfuscation. (ensue confusion, I think, yes +D)
64. They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.
65. It's bad luck to be superstitious.
66. According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
67. The word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary.
68. Honk if you like peace and quiet. (XD)
69. The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG! it happened. (lol)
70. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
71. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
72. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
73. A day without sunshine is like, night.
74. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
75. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
76. Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
77. Life is too complicated in the morning.
78. We are all part of the ultimate statistic. ten out of ten die. (NOOOOOOOOOOO! I wanna live forever! DX)(Too bad for muah DX)(Well, I'm the eleventh! HAHAHAHA! XD)
79. Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
80. Ask me about my vow of silence.
81. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
82. The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do. (I will get to hugs all the real Akatsuki?? AWSOME! XD)
83. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
84. If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
85. If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
86. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
87. Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
88. I intend to live forever. So far so good. (+D)
89. Who is "General Failure" and why is he reading my hard disk?
90. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
91. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
92. Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
93. I didn't use to finish sentences, but now I
94. I've had amnesia as long as I can remember.
95. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
96. Vacation begins when Dad says, "I know a short cut."
97. Evolution: True science fiction.
98. What's another word for Thesaurus?
99. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
100. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
101. I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.
1. Wax the ceiling.
2. Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car.
3. Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet.
4. Repeat above until failure.
5. Rearrange political campaign signs.
6. Sharpen your teeth. (they mean this for Kisame XD)
8. Braid your dogs hair.
9. Clean and polish your belly button.
10. Water your dog...see if he grows.
11. Wash a tree.
15. Flirt with an evergreen.
17. Give your cat a mohawk.
18. Purr.
24. Dress like your favorite Heavy Metal group...surprise your grandmother. (how about an akatsuki? That would suprise even my sister XD)
25. Listen to a painting.
26. Play with matches.
28. Raise professional racing ferrets. (Itachi is a weasel!! +D)
29. Paint your home...day-glo orange.
30. Dial-a-Prayer and argue. (must be where Hidan is XD)
32. Learn Greek.
33. Change your mind.
35. Watch the sun...see if it moves.
37. Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster.
38. Paint your windows.
40. Paint.
41. Smile.
42. Paint a smile.
43. Shoot at a fire hydrant.
44. Apologize to it.
45. See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement.
46. Rotate your garden...daily.
47. Plant a shoe.
48. Write letters to all the political officials that are representing you and tell them what a good job they are doing...on April 1st.
51. Take apart all your major kitchen appliances.
52. Mix and match the parts.
53. Turn your TV picture tube upside down.
54. Take your sofa for a walk.
61. Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets.
62. Carry a tune.
63. Drop it to see if it breaks.
66. Get a dog to chase your car.
67. Let him catch it.
68. Form a political party.
69. Throw a political party.
70. Climb a sidewalk.
71. Ride a loaf of bread.
72. Annoy yourself.
73. Get angry with yourself.
74. Stop speaking to yourself.
75. Kiss and make-up. (easy for Deidara to do. XD)
76. Stand on your head.
77. Stand on someone else's head.
80. Build a pyramid.
81. Paint your teeth.
82. Wear a salad.
83. Speak with a forked tongue.
84. MAKE a drive in window at your local bank.
85. Walk on water...but DON'T get caught.
86. Shave a shrub.
87. Have a proton fight. (Yummy XD)
88. Watch a car rust.
90. Confess to a crime that you didn't commit.
91. Learn to type...with your toes.
92. Buy the Brooklyn Bridge.
93. Mail it to a friend.
94. Be in the wrong place at the right time.
96. Plot the overthrow of your local School Board.
97. Request covert assistance from the CIA.
105. Exist...existentially of course.
106. Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska.
107. Hot wax the bottoms of your brother's dress shoes.
108. Print counterfeit Confederate money.
109. Kick a cabbage.
110. Take a picture.
111. Put it back.
112. Go back to square one.
113. Sand a mushroom.
115. Play solitare...for cash.
116. Abuse your patio furniture.
117. Run for Pope.
118. If you don't win, run for God.
119. If you still don't win, run for Mayor
120. Write a book about a previous life.
121. Count to a million...fast.
123. Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins.
128. Run around in squares.
129. Boil ice cream.
131. Carve your friends initials...in a marshmallow.
133. Speak in acronyms.
134. Drive the speed limit...in your garage.
135. Make a schematic drawing...of a rock.
137. Sing the National Anthem...during your calculus final.
138. Pay off the national debt...with a bad check.
139. Calmly have a nervous breakdown.
140. Give your goldfish a perm.
141. Fly a brick.
142. Play tag...on the nearest interstate.
146. Paint stripes on a lake.
147. Ski Kansas.
148. Wear a bowler...hat, stupid.
149. Test thin ice...with a pogo stick.
151. Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes.
152. Do a good job.
153. Crawl.
155. Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley.
156. Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck.
157. Duck.
158. Redecorate your garage.
164. Make a deal with the Devil...keep your fingers crossed.
165. Put legwarmers on all your furniture.
167. Sit.
168. Stay.
169. Roll over.
170. Play dead.
171. Scheme.
173. Cause a power failure.
174. Pour instant concrete in your brothers waterbed.
How a mother teaches her kid.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98
And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
"REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM."
"BEFORE YOU CRITISIZE SOMEONE WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOES, THAT WAY IF THEY GET MAD, THEYLL BE A MILE AWAY AND BAREFOOT."
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)