Yo, sup, hello, uh, hey. Whatever, you're here, so read this obnoxious length of text dealing with not only my inner workings, but also more of my inner workings. Enjoy, here are my inner workings. Only without the cool gory pictures or anything remotely interesting.
No one is everything to me, while everyone is nothing to me. If you didn't see ANY of what comes after a comma, you obviously pay no attention to anything ever. You, specifically, will not like any of my stories.
Note: Zenislev means "shoving a big metal pole through your ass and pull out a bloody snack for later," just thought you'd like to know.
"Aboot" Me
Age: 14
Gender: Male
Hair color: Deep Brown with natural red highlights ( Is a lucky bastard, har har)
Eye color: Brown
Height: 5'4" - 5'6" (or something)
weight: 152lbs. - 160 (depending on what store I'm walking out of)
General Clothing Outlook: Clashing, a lot. And smelly.
Medical Condition: I have Diabetes type 1
Pets: 1 cat here, a dog over there. Everything else I ever had DIED miserably.
Siblings: Read "Pets"
Personality: Selfish bastard.
My Goals
1: Graduate Highschool
2: Live with James after Highschool
3: To publish three internally linking books of about 400 pages
4: Write a noteworthy fanfiction for my fanfiction-loving pals
5: Make a living off of my website
6: To take over Japan for a week, and then get sick of it (Read: Not going to happen.)
7: To die in a pool of blood (Read: Not mine, yuck!)
My Wishes
1: Own a Veritech (Read: Real)
2: To be a Prince
3: Have an attack squad of bipedal mammoths (Read: Furry elephants with tusks) toting shotguns ready to do my ever whim
4: To live eternally
6: To be the most powerful sorcerer (Read: Ever)
7: To fight supervillains with my awesome supersorcerer spells.
My Dislikes
1: Hypocrites
2: Untrustworthy people
3: People named Kristin
4: People who hate Robotech / Halo
5: Batman
6: Squall Leonhart
7: Any final fantasy with a number tacked onto it greater than "6."
8: Dislikes
9: "True Love"
10: Karma
11: Cars
12: The general populace
13: The last name "Schlockingstonianerstial"
14: Male Transexual Hookers (You figure that one out)
15: Smaller, conniving individuals
16: Poor people
17: People obsessed with looking/smelling good
18. "Facial Products"
19: Injury
20: Slippers
21: Superman
22: "Self-Insertion"
23: "Self-less Acts of insert virtue here"
24: Dating
25: Those who discriminate people with different sexual preferences.
26: "Treats"
27: Lack of Common Sense
28: Fatigue
29: You = God
30: Power Word: Kill
31: French
32: Braces
33: People who think farting = bad
34: Groups of more than nine "individuals"
35: People who are too opinionated and MUST be right.
36: Cuddling
37: Mom
38: Highschool
39: Governmnet
40: Debate
41: "Gorcery Stores"
42: Algebra
43: "Small Nuts"
44: Charlie Brown
My Likes
1: Halo
2: Halo 2
3: Robotech
4: RPGs
5: Philosophy.
6: Psycology.
7: Booby-traps
8: Booby-bombs
9: Booby-chute
10: Boobies
11: Sword fighting.
12: Blood.
13: Writing.
14: Drawing.
15: "Boobies"
16: George Carlin
17: Water
18: Pondering Gracefully
19: Damning humanity
20: People who try too hard to amuse me, by harming themselves
21: Eyes
22: Yautja
23: Final Fantasy with numbers tacked on equal or lesser than the number "6"
24: DDR (Damned Dragon Requiem)
25: Watching anime with the subtitles off and in Japanese and just looking at the boobies.
26: The word "Selfish"
27: Writing poetry
28: Pissing people off and not getting harmed in any way because of it
29: Being absolutely and positively correct
30: Revenge without consequence (similiar to #28)
31: Expressing an opinion that someone understands
32: Cats that are flexible and mute
33: Irony
34: English class
35: Death and destruction
36: People with dark personalities
37: People with "boobies"
38: People who are "boobs"
39: Fruit
40: Fire
41: Gays
42: Wind
43: Pencil sharpeners large enough to fit a fat finger in
Things I would never do
1: Have too many friends
2: Commit suicide, accidently
3: Have sex, accidently
4: Do drugs or alcohol, accidently
5: Do anything accidently
6: Become a Male Transexual Prostitue
7: Take advantage of a disadvantageous situation
Things I might do
1: Murder someone
2: Commit mass murder
3: sign myself into an asylum or institution
4: Finally snap
5: Wander around the continental united states without any possesions
6: Do all the above, in no particular order (with #3 being last), and all on accident.
Favorite Quotes
"Hey, you, get your putter out of the whale's ass! This is not a playground, even though it looks like a playground!"
-Dane Cook
"You seem to be dead."
-Sould Brother
"Wouldn't it be awesome to have that acidy spit?"
-Dane Cook
"You suck so bad, when the Covenant killed everyone at Reach, they hunted down yo' Momma too."
-Me, after three hours of vs. Halo
"What do you mean 'Robotech isn't real'?"
-Argument over the obvious
"Heed, and indeed, yeed weed shad beed seed, in yee seething sheething teething sheeting!"
-Tom, after he got his braces
"Stop looking at it!"
-You Hadda Been Der
"I'd agree with everything you said, if only any of it was correct!"
-Unsure
"Bite me."
"Where, and how hard?"
"Surprise me."
-How to End an argument, part Four, of the mouth.
My Characters Ever, and why:
1. Roy Fokker. Reason: He's pompous at times, but he's an ace pilot and has killed many humans (and Zentraedi) before... well.. ;_;
2. Master Chief. Reason: He's genetically made to own you. In the ass. With your weapon.
3. Link. Reason: A versatile, soft-spoken (if not... uh.. not-spoken) blonde haired little elfy critter. He's the only awesome elf-like being I know. And he's been with me since back'n'da'day.
4. Black Mage. Reason: He's out to get you. And yo' momma. And Fighter. And yo' momma. And Fighter. And... and... HADOKEN!!!
5. Ryu. Reason: Orginator (correction: Promoter) of Hadoken.
6. Emporer Palpatine. Reason: Oh come ON! This guy pulled all the strings to make the war in the original Star Wars trilogy happen!! *Spoiler warning: You have just read a spoiler!!! :gninraw reliopS*
7. Green Lantern. Reason: He's the only character, while able to make kickass otherworldy things with his ring, STILL makes his sidekick RIDE ON HIS ASS through space.
I am a selfish bastard. Hope you enjoyed. Please come again.
-Selfish Bastard #1