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![]() Author has written 9 stories for Twilight. Hey guys it Rosalie! heres some info about me! Love ya! OMC OMC OMC!! Please check out my tumblr gender- Female Eye color- greenish gray Hair- unnaturally light blonde, curly. (naturally DARK blonde) Skin color- tan Ethnicity- uhhhhhh... Language(s)- English Parents- IDK! (adopted) Phone type- Iphone 4G Bad Habbit(s)- Bitting my lip, listening to my ipod at full blast pet peve(s)- people calling me goth, people calling me emo , people talking to fast Nick-Name(s)- Barbie, rosie, B, girl, twin Best friends-Peyton Team- TEAM I DONT GIVE A FUCK Favorite vacation spot(s)- marthas vineyard Favorite color(s)- Black Favorite sports team- Alabama Football Favorite sport(s)- Dance, gymnastics, swimming, Cheer Favorite activities- Listening to my ipod, texting, writing, watching movies, reading, swimming, hip hop dancing Favorite store(s)- Hot Topics, Barnes and Nobles Favorite "mythical" creature- VAMPIRE!! Favorite Animal- bat Favorite Male Celeb- Andy Sixx Favorite Female Celeb- Nikki Reed Favorite TV show- Pretty Little Liars Favorite movie(s)- Twilight saga,Burlesque, Favorite book(s)- Twilight series, Vampire Accedemy series, & Jessica's guide to dating the dark side, suck it up, shiver, linger Favorite author(s)- Stephanie Meyer, Richelle Mead, & Beth Fantaskey Favorite Bands/singers- Black Veil Brides, Bullet for my valentine, blessthefall, three days grace, evanessance, Paramore, Fall Out boy, Linkin Park, Green Day, Panic! At the disco, Maroon 5, Metro Station, Muse, My Chemical Romance, Radiohead, Secondhan Serenade, 3OH!3, Forever the Sickest Kids, Adam Lambert, Huey, P!nk, Favorite quotes/funny convos- "The dingo at my baby!!" -? (This is a convo between me and my old friend peyton we were joking like we were the Twilight characters Im Bella/Edward and she is Alice! Hehehe! her/me/edward "Hey Bella!" "hi Alice." "Why are you not hyper!! Be hyper!" "Umm... It's not that I'm not hyper... It's that you are scaring me because your so hyper!" "Oh! Haha! I get it now! Ahhh! Mean kitty! NO!" "What! When did you get a cat!!" "I was bored and so I went shopping and nobody was with me so... This is the result!" "wow! Thats not weird! -rolls eyes" "Grr! I don't like your atti- OWWWWWW!! Bella it bit me!" "Well bite it back! Your the vampire!" "But thats nast- Ow! Alright thats it!!" "you bit it didnt you?" "Yes! No! Maybe! Okay Yessssss!! Ahhh! It hissed at me!" "Your scared of a cat!" "Well... it is a cat!! I know Ill get edward to help me!!" "Dont count on it! He is still mad at you for taking me away from him to go shopping!" "oh! He will for give me no worries! EDWARD! HELP ME!!" "I'm not getting involved!" "Ahh! Not good! Bella will you Help?" "No I will not! Ask someone else!" "Everyone else is hunting!" "-snickers-" -me and Alice- "The poptarts and rubber duckys will team up and attack me with their evil sprinkles! HELP!" -me- "Edward Cullen is like crack. Once you try him once you can't go back!" -me- Spread the Stupidity Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only inAmerica...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Why can't womenput on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do we write stuff down, but type stuff up? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why do we drive in the parkway and park in the drive way? Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and post this on your profile and make someone else laugh! _started by rosaliehale1997_ Copy and paste this into your profile if you have ever to groweled, hissed, or bitten people due to the fact that vampires growel, hiss, and (sometimes) bite people. Copy and paste this into your profile if you have ever had mutiple dreams about the Twilight series. Copy and paste this in your profile if you have eyer bitten your sibling/friend really hard because they took Twilight out of your hands while you were reading it. If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you truely believe, there is an Edward/Emmett/Jasper/Carlisle Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward/Emmett/Jasper/Carlisle Cullen), copy this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile I smile because I have no idea what's going on! Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated! If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile. If you were Team Edward, then got converted to Team _Jacob, copy and paste this in your profile Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies. Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. An apple a day keeps the doctor away (if well aimed). I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (Stupid psychiatrist. :P ) You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fanfiction is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile. (I MEAN COME ON!! I'M A V-A-M-P-I-R-E, THEREFORE HUMAN IDENTIFICATION IF POINTLESS!!) If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on. If you can connect anything to Twilight, copy and paste this on to your profile Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you dont know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are wierd and proud of it, then copy and paste this to your profile! If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy and paste this to your profile. My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile If for no reason, you've laughed during a part of a movie or show that wasn't during a normally funny part, put this in your profile. A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.(Me: Also then and then... DRIVES ME INSANE!) If you can smell trouble a mile away and still walk straight into it, put this in your profile. you have embarrassing memories that make you want to slap yourself/someone else, put this on your profile. If you have an insane best friend (Alice... na jk well...), copy and paste this to your profile If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this into your profile Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile If you're against animal cruelty, copy and paste this into your profile If you dislike people who dislike people who aren't pretty copy this into your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile! 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you've ever had a constant enemy, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've started having dreams featuring fictional characters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. (only every few seconds) If you have ever walked into a wall, put this in your profile. If you have walked into a wall more than once, put this in your profile. If you have ever gotten your best friend to walk into a wall multiple times, put this in your profile.. (Becky...) If you laugh when someone hurts themself then copy and paste this into your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever said something out loud that you thought you were just thinking in your head, put this in your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever read a novel over 300 pages in under 4 hours, paste this into your profile. If you have answered a question by saying "Penguins" when penguins had NOTHING to do with what you were talking about, copy this into you're profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile. If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile. If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you KNOW you have too many of these copy and paste things but have no intention of stopping now copy & paste into ur profile! If you have ever tried to do something cool and ended up looking like an idiot, copy and paste this into your profile. If people look at you funny, and think you are insane, copy and paste this to your profile. If people do not even doubt that you are different, copy and pate this into your profile. If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, c&p this into ur profile. If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile! If you LOVE these copy and paste things,copy and paste this in your profile. People are people. It doesn't matter if they're gay, straight, bi... those are just labels. Everybody deserves to have a happy life. If you agree copy and paste this in your profile. Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. (or Geek) If you've read this ENTIRE profile and wasted about ten minutes reading what took me hours to put together, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed, angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Hikuya, Briar Elwood, Megan Cooper, xxTunstall Chickxx, Lady Kale, RosalieHale1997 If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think Jasper is just as hot as Edward, copy and paste this in to your profile AACDBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s disincluding Bella Disorder If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you secretly believe (and hope) that J.K.R. is really a Hogwarts alumni pretending it is fictional, copy this into your profile. If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile. If you always knew in your heart-of-hearts that there was good in James, Laurent, Victoria, and the Volturi copy this into your profile "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. If you have ever ran into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've hit teenage years and are tending to be a bit rebellious...Well, girl(or boy), copy this into your profile. WANNA-BE REBELS, UNITE! If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :) If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Harry Potter, Maximum Ride), copy and paste this into your profile. A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" If one of your friends is like this c&p in your bio. ALL my friends are like this (rolls eyes) If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile. ( I have more than that on one shelf of my bookcase! I have issues!) If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile. if you think Edward is an idiot copy and paste this in your profile If you love Jacob copy and paste this in your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you've walked into the classroom you had the year before by accident and stood there looking around, wondering why all these midgets are in it, copy this into your profile. Some people are like slinkies. They have absolutely no practical use, but they make you smile when you push them down the stairs- My dark side Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile (A/N: This is so cute!) The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... 25 Reasons to Thank my Mother: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him dominate the world! For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you talk about the evil poptarts and rubber ducks coming to kill you with their evil sprinkles. Crazy is when you sing "Stick a banana in your ear" from Charlie the unicorn for an hour. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like," Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information. Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Jasper or Edward. Crazy is when you sit for hours on end talking about Edward with your friends. Crazy is when one of your friends come up to you and says "He is so completely gorgeous!" and you know exactly who their talking about because your brain is no longer set on English, but Twilight. Crazy is when all your friends are scared of you because you are so hyper. Crazy is when you threaten your friends with a free trip to Italy and a vampire mafia if they don't read Twilight. Crazy is when your friend calls you crazy, you tear up a little and tell them that was the nicest thing they ever said to you. If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list. Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile Friends FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!' FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandma. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) A Twilight Survey Which book in the series is your favorite? Breaking dawn How long did it take you to read the books? about a week Who introduced you to the books? My bus buddy Alyson Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift? buy Favorites: um...alice/emmett Who's your favorite vampire? EDWARD Who is your favorite werewolf? Embry What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories? "You bit a pillow! Why?"-Bella What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment? When Bella first woke up from her transfermation! What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment? When Bella punched Jacob :) How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment Vampire sleepover! DUH What was your favorite adventure/battle? The one in Breaking Dawn! Which book cover was your favorite? eclipse! Are these books among your favorite books of all? yes Twilight or New Moon? Twilight New Moon or Eclipse? eclipse Eclipse or Twilight? Eclipse Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob? edie! jacobs mine Who do you like more: Bella or Edward? Edward. Bella or Jacob? jacob! He has that freakin wolf thing goin on! Bella or Alice? Alice. Alice or Jacob? jake Rosalie or Alice? Ahhh! Jasper or Alice? jazz Jasper or Edward? Jasper Carlisle or Esme? carlisle! He can be my doctor anyday! Emmett or Jasper? Emmett Emmett or Jacob? psh emmett all the way! Bella or Rosalie? rosalie!! Esme or Charlie? Esme. Charlie or Carlisle? Carlisle. He's a freakin vampire! Charlie or Billy? wtf Jacob or Sam? Jacob! Sam or Quil? quil Quil or Embry? Embry Who's the better villain: James or Victoria? James cause he is HOT! Werewolves or Vampires? VAMPIRES!! why would you even ask that?! Just for Fun ;) List ten Twilight characters in no particular order. 1. Renesme 2. Rosalie Hale 3. Bella Swan 4. Edward Cullen 5. jasper Hale 6. Alice Cullen 7. Jacob Black 8. Esme Cullen 9. James 10. Charlie Swan 1. Haveyou read a five/ten fic before? Jasper &Charlie! Uhh no... 2. Do you think three is hot? How hot? Bella? Ummm if I was Edward or Jacob I guess. 3. What would happen if six got one pregnant? Alice gets Nessie pregnant? Is that even possible! 4. Do you recall any good fics about nine? James? Yep! 5. Would seven and two make a good couple? Jacob and Rosalie? If they didnt hate each other then PSHYA! 6. Four/eight or four/nine? Edward/Esme or Edward/James! Uhhh Edward/Esme! 7. What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship? Jacob discovered Esme and Bella? Umm wow! I think he would run and jump off a bridge! {nooo} 8. Make a summary of at least twenty words for a two/six fic. Rosalie and Alice move to Phoenix to get away from a horrible past where they meet Bella who's life sucked with her dad. They then runaway(again) and find Edward Emmett and jasper? Could that lead them to more heartaches considering they are players? Or a good life? 9. Is there such a thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story? Edward/Charlie? NOOOOOOOOOOOO 10. Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic. Jasper& Nessie? Ummm... "The one I need" IDK!! "Renesmee's parents get killed by the Volturi for no reason. Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme want nothing to do with her because she is so emotional and upset. Jasper going insane because he is having to use his ability 24/7 but he wants to stay with Nessie." 11. What kind of plot would you use if four wanted to seduce one? If Edward wanted to seduce Nessie! Ummm can you say RAPE!! And ewwwww 12. Does anyone on your friends list read number seven/nine slash? Jacob/ James. uh i dont think so... actually I know! On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as Edward vs Normal guys. A normal guy would say: “I love you Baby!” Normal Guy would say: “I think I am falling for you.” Normal Guy would say: “You hair looks like a haystack; go brush it!” A normal guy would pick a random song from a random artist and dedicate it to you. If you die, a normal guy would find another. As you leave the house, a normal guy would say: “Bye, see ya!” As you come back to the house, a normal guy would be watching TV and wouldn’t even notice. A normal guy would wait for you to make him breakfast. While you are both out for dinner, a normal guy wouldn’t keep his eyes off the sexy waitress. A normal guy, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the radio. While far apart in different places, a normal guy would say: “I miss you.” A normal guy wouldn’t care or notice if you had nightmares. A normal guy buys you flowers and chocolates. did you know... Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try. First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it! 1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column. 2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want. 3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. 4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots. 5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!) 6. Finally, make a wish. And now the key for the game... 1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game. 2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love. 3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out. 4. You care most about the person you put in 4. 5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well. 6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star. 7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3. 8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7. 9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. 10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true... If you don't it will become the opposite. Lessons Learned in Twilight: 1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine. Things to do on an Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad, follow her If you've ever walked into a door (or lampost) copy this onto your profile. If you would LOVE to know how "Make it or break it" is going to end, copy and paste this into your profile.( I don't watch it often but I am mildly hooked.) If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations and copy and paste this to your profile. If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever read past two in the morning, repost this in your profile. Scary-a.. thing.. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God. there were 3 girls and they were looking through peoples MySpaces. The girl slowly came upon this one It had creatures in the background and the man She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was. Right then, an instant message came up. It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like my XxLoVemExX: What?? XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?? SatanStalker: Well, you should know; XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?? SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace. XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make SatanStalker: I just do. Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you. Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say. At the time the girl was wearing high She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living heck out of me. SatanStalker: You should be afraid. SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you They were in shock. Her friend: Holy crap man just block him The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes SatanStalker: I am. SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really XxLoVemExX: What? My house? SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out. SatanStalker: Your screen name says SatanStalker has just signed off. The girl and her friend were really friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone. They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight. All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok. Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was She goes and knocks but no one said she opens it and finds her friend there on her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head. If you do not repost this in the next two one in your room, and one killing your parents at that Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! SAD: This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile. My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. |
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