PurpleHoodiexoxo
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Joined 07-11-09, id: 2004150, Profile Updated: 08-16-09
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Name : Jenn

Eye Color: Blue Green

Hair Color: Brunette almost blonde

Height: 5 foot 5 inches

Piercings: Ears

Tatoos: None!

FAVORITES

Food: Pizza

Restaurant: Japanese Restaurants

Number: 1 it means its super special

Color: Purple, gold, green

Animal: leopard

Drink: Starbucks hot chocolate

Perfume: Don't really wear perfume

TV Show: What I Like About You

Pepsi or Coke: COKE BABY!

McDonalds or BurgerKing: Burger King

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Hot Chocolate

Kiss or Hug: Kiss

Dog or Cat: Both

Rap or Punk: Punk?

Summer or Winter: Summer

Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Both

Love or Money: Love, but i wouldn't mind both

YOUR...

Bedtime: I guess 10 on school nights

Best phyiscal feature: Eyes? Hair? I don't know

First Thought Waking Up: What time is it?

Best Friends: Dpn't have one at the moment

Fears: Spiders, the girl from the ring coming out of my tv

HAVE YOU...

Cheated On Your Partner: Dont have a partner

Ever been beaten up: Nope. I'm a dancer so they know not to mess with me! haha

Ever beaten someone up: nope but look out!

Ever Shoplifted: when i was little on accident

Ever Skinny Dipped: no

Ever Kissed Opposite sex: No

Been Dumped Lately: No

IN A GUY

Favorite Eye Color: blue!

Favorite Hair Color: dirty blonde or dark brown.

Short or Long Hair: depends

Height: taller than me

Looks or Personality: Both

Hott or Cute: Hott

Muscular or Really Skinny: Muscular

RANDOMS

What country do you want to Visit: Italy

How do you want to Die: in my sleep

Been to the Mall Lately: yeah.

Health Freak: health freak because of my mom :)

Do you think your Attractive: I don't know! Whenever people ask this question if you say no people will say your crazy and say you pretend your not pretty, but if you say yes you sound conceited!

Believe in Yourself: Yes

Want to go to College: duh

Do you Smoke: Nope

Do you Drink: No

Shower Daily: Duh! That's gross if you don't...

Been in Love: HAHA funny but alas, no

Do you Sing: everywhere. it really annoys people because i get songs stuck in their head. but i'm a horrible singer so it makes it that much worse

Want to get Married: Yes

Do you want Children: OF COURSE! But I'm a little afraid of actually HAVING them...

Hate anyone: hates a strong word


My Favorite Twilight Quotes

"Did you know i told you so has a brother jacob? His name is shut the hell up" -Bella

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that in movies" -Jacob

"Fall again bella?" -Emmett
"No Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face." -Bella

"I know,I'll play you for it. Rock, papers, scissors." -Alice
"Why do't you just tell me who wins?" -Edward
"I do, excellent" -Alice

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars -- points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty." - Edward

"And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb" -Edward
"What a stupid Lamb" - Bella
"What a sick, masochistic Lion" - Edward

"Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!" - Bella

"I was just wondering why you stabbed him, Not that I object." - Edward

"Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…" - Edward

"So did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or something?" -Mike

"You know you would warm up faster if you took your clothes off." -Jacob

"You're exactly my brand of heroin." -Edward

"She's having hysterics! Maybe you should slap her." -Alice

"Stupid shiny Volvo owner" -Bella

List 10 characters from your favorite book randomly:

1)Carlisle

2)Alice

3)Jasper

4)Emmett

5)Angela

6)Edward

7)Esme

8)Bella

9)Aro

10)Tanya

Would you think 4/6 would make a good pairing?

-HAHAHA Emmett and Edward? Yeah they would make a good pairing if by pairing you mean friends and not lovers... LOL!

Make a summary and title for 10/3 story.

-Tanya/Jasper? Title: Vampire Dating Service. Summary: Edward makes Jasper sign up for an online dating service and meets Tanya, a selfish party girl who doesn't give a care about anyone. HAHA!

What would you think would happen if 5 walked in on a "private" moment between 6/7?

-Angela/Edward/Esme. EWWWW if Angela walked in on Edward and Esme! Not likely, but gross all the same!

Write the translation: 9/7 go hunting and get attacked by 6/2. 3/8 are painting 5's car pink and purple, 5 comes home and rips 8's head off while 3 runs off laughing. 2/4 fall in love and 7 walks in on a personal moment, 4 puches 7 in the face and 7/4 have a slapping fight. 2 sneaks away and runs off to 1/9, who are innoying the crap out of each other by flicking each others ears. 10 comes in and says "You brought a barbie doll yay!" and runs away with 8.

-Aro and Esme go hunting and get attacked by Edward and Alice. Jasper and Bella are painting Angela's car pink and purple, and Angela comes home and rips Bella's head off while Jasper runs off laughing. Alice and Emmett fall in love and Esme walks in on a personal moment, Alice punches Esme in the face and Esme and Emmett have a slapping fight. Alice sneaks away and runs off to Carlisle and Aro, who are annoying the crap out of each other by flicking each other's ears. Tanya comes in and says "You brought a barbie doll yay!" and runs away with Bella.

LOL! So random...

5/2 fall in love.

-Angela/Alice Okay... Don't want to know the details!

7 loves 8 but secretly wants to get together with 3.

-Esme/Bella/Jasper. Esme loves Bella but secretly wants to get together with Jasper? Well Esme DOES love Bella as a daughter, but she wants to get together with her son? GROSS!

Would you ever read a 2/3 pairing story?

-Alice/Jasper Yeah I would, but I prefer Edward and Bella.

Have you ever read a story with 2/5 before?

-Alice/Angela Nope! Angela isn't a vampire so...


Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"

If you are so obsessed with Twilight it is NOT even funny anymore, C&P

If you ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, C&P

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfiction, copy this into your pro

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight it stupid and refuses to read it, C&P

If you've ever walked into a doorway you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or have an insane friend, copy and paste this on your pro.

If you think the kids should just stop chasing Lucky and leave the freakin' leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste!

If you love rain, copy and paste.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are antisocial sometimes, copy and paste.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is plotting world domination,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste into your pro

If you've ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have a really long profile, C&P this to make it even longer. (hehehe)

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, C&P

If you are one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste

Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree C&P!!

If you have your own little world, C&P

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste

If you've ever read past two in the morning, C&P

If you have ever run into a tree, C&P

If you went to sleep around 2am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, C&P

If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste (me: It was at A&W restruant...)

If you ever fell off a chair backwards, copy and paste this.


I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!


Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?

Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Do stairs go up or down?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words."

List ten Twilight Characters in no order

1. Renesmee

2. Carlisle

3.Jacob

4.Rosalie

5.Edward

6.Alice

7.Emmett

8.Esme

9.Bella

10.Jasper

1. Haveyou read a five/ten fic before?

Edward/Jasper - With Emmett too!

2. Do you think three is hot? How hot?

Jacob - Who doesn't think that? He's like 106 degrees or something crazy like that!

3. What would happen if six got one pregnant?

Alice/Renesmee - 1) Not possible. 2) Jacob and Alice would fight to the death and Jasper would have Edward ground Renesmee

4. Do you recall any good fics about nine?

Bella - Almost every Twilight fanfic involves Bella!

5. Would seven and two make a good couple?

Emmett/Carlisle - NO!! NO NO NO NO NO NO! PLEASE! NOOOO!

6. Four/eight or four/nine?

Rosalie/Esme or Rosalie/Bella? - Rosalie/Bella I guess...

7. What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?

Emmett/Jacob/Esme - Emmett would tell Carlisle and Renesmee that he just signed them up for eharmony

8. Make a summary of at least twenty words for a two/six fic.

Carlisle/Alice - One day Carlisle and Alice decide that they've had enough of the Cullens and run away together. What happens as their love deepens? And who is there to stop it? (LOL idk!)

9. Is there such a thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?

Rosalie/Jasper - There probably is somewhere but I haven't read it anywhere. They're almost always said to be brother/sister so idk

10. Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.

Renesmee/Edward - It's Okay Dad, Mom Doesn't Know What She's Missing

11. What kind of plot would you use if four wanted to seduce one?

Rosalie/Renesmee - EW ROSALIE YOU BAD GIRL! No plot at all because that would never happen.

12. Does anyone on your friends list read number seven/nine fics?

Emmett/Bella - Maybe.

God Story

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time past quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as if he were waiting for her. She began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything he could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she was not alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, we're never alone. Did you know 98 percent of teens will not stand up for God, and 93 percent of people won't repost this?

Re-post if you truely believe in God, and even if you don't. God and Jesus are heroes!

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb a?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds a that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this sh!

YOUR GUY SIDE:

Bold - True

Italic - Sometimes

You love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
x dogs are better than cats
x It's hilarious when people get hurt.
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
x You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
x Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

TOTAL: 6

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

x You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
x You wear the color pink.
x Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
x You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
x You like wearing jewelry.

x Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
x You don't like the movie Star Wars
x You were in gymnastics/dance?
x It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.

x You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
x You care about what you look like.
x You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
x You love the movies.
x Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
x Like being the star of every thing

Total: 12

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!

Annoying things to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and clean your teeth.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

16. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!"

17. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match.

18. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things and add another one to the list! XD

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it can't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?

I Love my Dad:

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out
of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

/l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
Whenever my hear fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfil spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know!

If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too
Can you raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd
what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny
iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit
a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
If you can raed this forwrad it
COPY AND PASTE ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT


13 Things to do when your in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
7. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
8. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
9. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
10. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
12. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
13.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Reasons why girls are the best:
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
3. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
4. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
5. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
6. Taxis stop for us.
7. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
8. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
9. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
10. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
11. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
12. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
13. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
14. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
15. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
16. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
17. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
18. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
19. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.


Bella: "It's...a cow."
Edward: "No, Bella. It's a dinosaur. Of course it's a cow!"
Bella: "You...want me to eat it?"
Edward: "No. I want you to throw a stick at it and see if it brings it back."
Bella: "Feeling a little sarcastic today?"
Edward: "Just a bit."

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If i dont call you
Its because i'm waiting for you to call me

When i walk away from you mad
Follow me

When i stare at your mouth
Kiss me

When i push you or hit you
Grab me and dont let go

When i start cussing at you
Kiss me and tell me you love me

When im quiet
Ask me whats wrong

When i ignore you
Give me your attention

When i pull away
Pull me back

When you see me at my worst
Tell me i'm beautiful

When you see me start crying
Hold me and tell me everything will be alright

When you see me walking
Sneak up and hug my waist from behind

When i'm scared
Protect me

When i lay my head on your shoulder
Tilt my head up and kiss me

When i grab at your hands
Hold mine and play with my fingers

When i tease you
Tease me back and make me laugh

When i dont answer for a long time
reassure me that everything is okay

When i look at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When i say that i like you
I really do more than you could understand

When i bump into you
bump into me back and make me laugh

When i tell you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When i look at you in your eyes
dont look away until i do

When i miss you
i'm hurting inside

When you break my heart
the pain never really goes away

When i say its over
i still want you to be mine

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you20threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough GUTS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet alot of girls do too.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bet on Love by xXMoonyeenXx reviews
Alice is fed up with Edwards player ways, so decides it is time to teach him a lesson in life and love. Will he realise what love is, or will he remain the same? BxE eventually, AxJ eventually, RxEm from the start. Rating for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 164,333 - Reviews: 526 - Favs: 376 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 10/16/2010 - Published: 9/22/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Careful by Babypeach16 reviews
What if after that first awful day in Biology, Edward never came back? What if he wasn't there to sweep Bella off her feet, and Mike Newton got there first? Will Edward win her over, or is he too late?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 33 - Words: 54,133 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 8/27/2010 - Published: 1/15/2010 - Complete
Seducing Ms Swan by DQRC reviews
AU Post-NM. Teacher!Bella, Student!Edward; a struggle of wills, an attempt at seduction, a dark secret, a dash of UST, a gallon of attitude, antagonistic motorcycling, a hell of a lot of angst and one unforgettable scene in a snow storm.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 132,610 - Reviews: 5932 - Favs: 6,263 - Follows: 4,854 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Loving Me, Resisting You by topaztemptress reviews
Edward Cullen and his family have just moved to Forks. There he meets Bella, there is an instant connection. The only problem...Bella is a vampire. How can she resist when her heart and her head are telling her two different things? AU/AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,075 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Bella, Edward
Daddys Poem by HeHeProductiions reviews
Nessie School Is Having A Special Day Today ' Daddy's Day' But Edward Dies At War & This Is What Nessie Says At School About Edward & How Bella Reacts Sad Poem Makes You Want To Cry All Human One-Shot
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,810 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/26/2010 - Published: 11/10/2009 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie
You Belong With Me by AllThatAndAPieceOfClass reviews
She's been in love with him since they were little, Bella starts her junior year trying to tell Edward how she really feels about him. If only he would realize he doesn't need a cheer captain to make him happy. All Human. Review Please
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 15 - Words: 21,624 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 11/24/2009 - Published: 6/8/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
In Another Life by the-glory-days reviews
When Edward Cullen is killed in a car accident, it’s Bella Swan who finds herself helping his ghost find out why he died. All-Human, AU, A Twilight Retelling.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 73,222 - Reviews: 1163 - Favs: 1,392 - Follows: 645 - Updated: 10/3/2009 - Published: 7/20/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Welcome to the Real World by Mk Marie reviews
Bella and Edward have been friends for years. What happens to their relationship when she comes home for a visit, carrying a secret that will change everything? How will it affect all the others? All Human, AU. All canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 180,550 - Reviews: 2576 - Favs: 1,576 - Follows: 639 - Updated: 9/25/2009 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
You Don't Know The Half Of It by NotYourBestFriend reviews
Edward Cullen had it all. Fame, money, good looks. Until one day, a little girl shows up on his door step, claiming he's her father. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 45,192 - Reviews: 733 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 345 - Updated: 9/24/2009 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Bet by April231 reviews
Bella, Alice and Rosalie have been best friends most of their lives and when the three gorgeous Cullen boys move to town Rose bets Alice and bella that she can make Emmett fall in love faster than either of them can get the other two to fall for them
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 27,403 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 9/10/2009 - Published: 6/1/2009 - Complete
Gossip Hounds by EmLove reviews
Bella is a gossip columnist, Edward is a famous singer. When Edward appears to fall for Bella, will she fall in love or is it all just a game to her? kinda of based on How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,343 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 9/9/2009 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Edward, Bella
Hazel by edwardlover10 reviews
Bella and Edward wake up in an alternate reality, right after the end of Breaking Dawn. Everything is strange in this alternate universe. Can Edward and Bella fix it before it’s too late? E/B’s POV. Full summary inside. R&R, flames are welcome.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 37,893 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 8/23/2009 - Published: 7/1/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Edward's Nightmare by LovingJasperHale reviews
Bella came to Forks 3 years before Edward. She Fell in Love With Jacob and Now Falling for Edward.Who will she Choose? What happens when one of the Cullen's betray them by going to the volturi, aiming to stop Edward being with Bella? 19,778 Hits!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 51,527 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 5/19/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Past Comes Back to Bite You by sillybella reviews
AU: After Edward left Bella went to Jacksonville to live with her mother. Years later, after her husband dies, she returns to Forks with her daughter. What will Edward think when he passes through? What will Bella's daughter think of Edward? B&E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 75,552 - Reviews: 2791 - Favs: 1,826 - Follows: 1,808 - Updated: 7/11/2009 - Published: 1/20/2007
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Who Doesn't Believe in Love at First Sight? reviews
What happens when Emmett and Bella are family, along with Edward and Alice, and Rosalie and Jasper? Some believe it was love at first sight for all of them... ALL human!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,645 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 7/14/2009
Ignorance is Bliss reviews
Bella and Edward are finally together forever, but should there be a happy ending? Jacob thinks otherwise... Set 7 years after Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,755 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7/17/2009 - Published: 7/14/2009 - Edward, Bella