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![]() Author has written 3 stories for Pendragon, Harry Potter, Naruto, Warriors, and Shugo Chara!. Name: Inseruntakenpennamehere (duh) Gender: Female Age: Unspecified Birthday: July 28 Lives On: Earth School: MVMS Location: In front of a computer Heh heh... Sorry for the longness of my profile... heh heh...heh heh...moo Favorites: Quotes: "Unless I grip the sword, I cannot protect you. While gripping the sword, I cannot embrace you." - Kurosaki Ichigo, Bleach "You think you may get it but it's not the same as actually getting it. Get it?" Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many. "Saying you're going to rip me to shreds isn't going to make me come closer." Minato Namikaze, Naruto "I'm the only one who gets to interrupt me!" Killer Bee, Naruto "Might Guy, huh? Mighty stupid-looking guy is more like it!" Kisame,Naruto "This guy is getting on my nerves - can I kill him?" Kisame, Naruto "Everyone... everyone... has risked their lives to come after you!" Naruto, Naruto "Destroy everything... Destroy everything that hurts you... Give your heart to me... I will save you from the pain."Kyuubi, Naruto "Shut up... or I'll kill you."Gaara, Naruto Hobbies:Breathing Food:Ramune, Calpico, French Fries,Salt and Vineager Potato Chips, Hash Browns, Bacon, Cici Mango, Edible Food, Ramen, Lychee stuff Anime/Manga: Naruto, Shugo Chara, Pokemon, Naruto Shippuden, Bleach, Ultimo,Fruits Basket Anime/Manga Characters: Kisuke Urahara from Bleach, Kyuubi from Naruto,Yoru from Shugo Chara, Utau Hoshina from Shugo Chara, Ggio Vega from Bleach, Ulquiorra Schiffer from Bleach, Aizen from Bleach Colors:Blue,Pink Dislikes:Bugs Hates:Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus, her/their "music", High School Musical, Camp Rock,Jonas Brothers,their "music", Sakura from Naruto, Bonnie Willensky (You have to know me personally to get that one) If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ECT, copy this onto your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If you think that Sakura sucks, copy this and paste it in your profile :P If you think High School Musical was a crappy movie, copy this and paste it in your profile. ( I didn't even bother to watch it) If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste. If you think the rabbit from the Trix commercial should go to the store and by his own box, copy this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tried to lick your elbow even though you knew it was physically impossible paste this on your profile. ()() Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side! (We have cookies!) Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, BEEP, RUN!" A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected; a best friend walks up to him and says "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A friend will bail you out of jail; a best friend will be in the room next to you saying "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!! If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. Stress: A condition caused by repressing the body's desire to strangle the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it. Ever notice how in the American Revolution, all we did half the time was stand there and shoot at each other? We just stood there, in lines, waiting to die. It's like, before the war started, we all sat down and went, "OK. Here's how it's gonna go: When we get in a battle, we all stand in a line and shoot at each other, and we keep going till we run outa bullets. And whoever's got the least amount dead, they win." FAKE VS. REAL FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!” FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile If you have a really long profile, C&P this to make it even longer. (hehehe) If you have ever fallen down the staris, put this on your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, put this on your profile.(I don't know what these are... :P) /l、 If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, Copy and ... I forgot what I was going to say... Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree C&P!! Most people would be offeneded if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?" If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! If you've ever walked into a doorway you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this into your profile If you think the kids should just stop chasing Lucky and leave the freakin' leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you cried because your Hogwarts letter never arrived but you know its because the owl got lost and not because you aren't magical, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think everyone's out of their minds (including yourself...but that's a given), copy and paste this to your profile If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. If your profile is ridiculously long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer! Yay! Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune :0 If you ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this your profile. If you have weird friends, copy this into your profile. If YOU are weird, please copy this into your profile. If you have ever said the same thing more than one time in a row,put this in your profile.put this in your profile. If you have ever completely forgotten what you were doing, put this in your profile. If you know that you have at least two of the same "If you" things, but are too lazy to look for it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you just read this whole long list of copy/paste things, and are now wondering why the hell you did that, go see a therapist, and then copy and paste this. If you have actually read all these 'if you's, copy this into your profile. We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a brdge, damn, I'm gonna miss your emails. If you have ever said a number, but held up the wrong amount of fingers, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the conversation copy this on your profile If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination put this on your profile If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile ( Grass, my desk, etc.) Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile If you DON'T have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you're proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat.If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already! If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while the others try to figure out how you did it. 95 of teens would freak if the Jonas Brothers were on a tall building, about to jump off. If you were apart of the 5 that came to watch and brought popcorn and friends, Copy & paste If you're completely insane, copy this to your profile. If you're a night person, copy this to your profile. If you hate bugs, copy this to your profile. If you prefer cold and snow over heat and sun, paste this to your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this to your profile If you went to sleep around 2am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, C&P If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste If you ever fell off a chair backwards, copy and paste this If you've ever read past two in the morning, C&P I find "good morning" contradictory Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! If you would rather be a vampire than a zombie, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have read the Twilight series(or at least half of it), copy and paste this into your profile. You don't even have to like the series! If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile. 92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch and American Eagel said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. I prefer solitude over company. Copy and paste this in your profile you have the same feeling. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile 98 percent of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think those kids should stop stalking Lucky just to get his 'Lucky Charms' put this on your profile. If your scared of Cinimon tost Crunch because there all a bunch of canibles put this on your profile. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. If you ever wanted to be sent to an asylum just so you can bounce around in the white padded room, copy and paste this to your profile!! I'm not paranoid...WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?! 95 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a tower ready to jump, copy and paste if your a part of the 5 percent yelling "Jump Bitch! Jump! I'm going to be late for my daily throwing darts at your ugly face ritual!" ( If she dared take more than 5 minutes, I would push her off. :P) 98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you think that it's not fair that the guys in manga and anime are almost always better than the guys in the real world, copy and paste this in your profile! A mama cow and her three babies were on a farm. If you think manga/anime villains are uber coolage and pwnsome, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you like the colour white, copy and paste this on your profile If you think that Ichigo Kurosaki's Hollow half deserves more love, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Sosuke Aizen is one of the best manga/anime villains in the history of history, copy and paste this on your profile. If you think Gin Ichimaru is one freaky yet awesome bad guy, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think Kaname Tosen needs to loosen up a bit, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think Starrk was one of those Old Western sheriffs you usually saw sleeping on a porch when he was alive, copy and paste this on your profile. If you think the majority of the male population had from bleeding noses when Tia Halibel went into her Release Mode, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think Yammy Rialgo does not deserve to be Cero Espada, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile No trespassing, violators will be shot, and survivors will be shot again. Don's piss me off today; I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile If you think the Co-Co Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile. If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile. Sacrifice your innocence and cross over to the dark side. We have cookies. If you wanna sacrifice your innocence and crossover to the dark side then copy and paste If you have ever yelled at your television because a character or someone you don't like was on,copy and paste this to your profile If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. If you know someone who should be hit by a train, and you'd be laughing, copy and paste. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.The irony... -Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God, or a god. PS: God/a god is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, Even when you can't see Him, GOD IS THERE!! If you believe in God, then put this in your profile. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny Me, then I shall deny you before My Father in the gates of Heaven. Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son then copy and paste this in your profile If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... " If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..." WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?" "Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson "That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg "To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare "I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry "Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin "And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses "To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong "We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush "Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss "In my day, we didn't as why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa "Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld "The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon "This was an unprevoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it" -Saddam Hussein "I missed one?" -Colonel Sanders Okay, here's something cool: Say this out loud: She knows Bugs. Now scroll down... Furthur... More... Even more... And still more... Now, this was a test to see if you're obsesed with Naruto. If you made the conection: "She knows bugs" to "Shino's bugs", you're obsesed, if you missed that, go watch some Naruto anime! Girls For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, Naruto, and fanfiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours striat WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your freinds, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." If you're cray you suddenly screm "TODAY IS THE DAY THE WORLD END'S!! in the midle of a class just to see how your classmates and teacher would react. Crazy is when you sit there staring at a random stranger, then start humming the barney song while slowly getting this psychotic look/smile on your face when they ask what you want. Crazy is when you talk for five straight hours on a single subject (which is borderline-perverted senerios for fanfics).crazy is reading this long list of crazy things! Copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried. I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt If someone murdered you, a friend would go to your funeral, a good friend would write your sermon thingy but a true friend wouldn't do any of those, 'cause they'd be in jail for killing the idiot who killed you, if you have any true friends copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever burst into a Christmas Song on Easter, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love God to no end, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think world peace is a great cause, copy and paste this into your profile Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many. Join the army, travel the world, meet interesting people, kill them Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with! That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." When in doubt, push random buttons! You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft! There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?" There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people... Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it He who laughs last thinks slowest An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss. I'm not as dumb as you look The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs. Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee. If genius is 1 inspiration and 99 perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people. It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it. It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines. I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else. It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows. No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning. I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself. Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them. Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys. When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later. When all else fails, use duct tape. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again My Reality Check bounced. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing Random Lists 1. Only in America ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( That's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...And you thought??...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off of those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And.. .I'm taking this because??...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's Peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) 15 Things to do when your in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!" ~24 things to do in an elevator!~ 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, admit, all of you just shut UP!" 2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom. 9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!" 11. Meow occasionally. 12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it. 16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" 17. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons. 19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.' 21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers. 24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on. How You Know You're Addicted to Naruto: You eat ramen all day every day. Random I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less 16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll Try Not To Cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as Now say the word "cow" after each word: Cows Now say the word "cow" before and after each word: Cows Now read from the bottom up: Cows This is my profile. |
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